S.M. asks from Annapolis, MD on September 26, 2008
Brushing Our 3 Year Old's Teeth
Please let me know if you have this problem and how you handled it. I'll be as brief as I can be.
I'm home with our son full time. When my husband gets home we have dinner and he has play time and then he does the bedtime routine with our son. Pretty frequently when it's time to brush teeth Jameson throws a fit. Cries, Wails, fights. It wasn't always like this - he's never really liked it but you have to brush the teeth. My husband feels terrible and last night he asked me to submit a request on Mamasource to find out how to keep this from being traumatic. He fears he's creating a negative experience to teeth brushing. We have tried having him brush Daddy's teeth while Daddy brushes his. We have tried brushing teddy bear's. We're not sure how to turn this around to be a happy thing again. I'd really like for my Hubby to have a routine to complete with him. I think it's important since all the other daily routines fall on me. It's the only time I get a break. I told him he was just going to have to find his strategy with it. I've made suggestions. I had to find my way through a lot of things with each stage of development so that my son and I weren't butting heads daily. I've told my husband that I had to stop trying to get things done like I was dealing with an adult, realize I'm dealing with a 3 yr old and figure out how to get his cooperation. I've REALLY had to slow myself down and understand my 3 yr old. It's worked. Any strategies to impart to my husband on this?? I don't want our son to hate doing something that is so vital to health everyday.
Thanks! S.
2 moms found this helpful
So What Happened?™
THANKS SO MUCH !!! Lots of great new strategies to try. Last night I sat down with him at the beginning of the fit. i put him on my lap and hugged him and asked why he had such a problem with the brushing. He said he didn't like too. And I said that if the sugar bugs stay in his mouth then his teeth would fall out and he wouldn't have teeth to eat all his favorite things (extreme I know - but he was listening) Then Daddy brushed his dragon's teeth. Then our son let Daddy brush his teeth without a sound. I'm gonna try all your ideas as time goes on. Just keep switching him up is we come up against it again. Thanks, Again - S.
Featured Answers
H.M. answers from Washington DC on October 01, 2008
Well, my son will be 3 in december and we've had a similar problem (to the point that his dad has had to hold him while i brushed his teeth.) i felt the same way about the traumatic thing but it is an important part of the daily routine and he needed to learn that it wasnt an option. Now some days are worse than others, but being consistent on this routine has helped. He doesnt always love it but it gets done. I also know he likes to do it himself and then we "help" when he's done. He feels like a big boy and we really praise him when he does it "himself"! I really think the sooner he realized that he had to do it(and the sooner he realized he'd get to go play quicker if he just did it) then he gave in. It's gettng easier each day, but remember, they have bad days just like we do. Also, they really want more control over their routine(since they control so little in life at this point) so get him involved, getting dad involved is great too! (ALSO, COOL TOOTHBRUSHES REALLY HELP, LET HIM PICK HIS OWN!)
C.B. answers from Norfolk on September 27, 2008
Hi S.! My 2 1/2 year old hates having his teeth brushed too. One thing that has been working for us is asking him if his teeth feel dirty. (He hates being dirty) He will usually say yes, which is when we tell him that it's time to clean his teeth because they don't get cleaned in the bathtub. We let him have his own toothbrush, and then I have one of his little toothbrushes as well. He gets to brush for a minute, and then I do. We trade back and forth a couple times until they are clean. It was a battle for a long time, but this is what is working for us right now. Good luck!!
C.F. answers from Washington DC on September 27, 2008
I agree that the flavor of toothpaste may be the problem. My little girl will ONLY use strawberry toothpaste. also, she wants to do it by herself, but i do it first so i know her teeth are clean, then she gets to finish up. maybe try to let him experience dirty feeling teeth to help him understand how important it is to have clean teeth? Emma HATES having her teeth feel dirty. good luck!
More Answers
A.P. answers from Washington DC on September 26, 2008
I have the same problems with my son. At this age they like to be independent and do things for themselves. What kind of works for my son is to let him brush and them ask him iof I can check to see if he missed any spots. Once I assure him he can have another turn brushing when I am done he lets me have a quick go at his teeth. Good luck.
K.H. answers from Dover on September 27, 2008
What about having a radio/small cd player in there with songs that he likes. They say you should brush your teeth for the length of a song (although I am sure so many of us don't...I don't!) But make it fun! Once the toothbrushes are ready (his and dads), start the fun song, and brush while they dance and get their wiggles out. (Obviously don't let him get too crazy, he is brushing his teeth). I have NO idea if that will work...but sounds like anything is worth a try! Oh yeah, and to start off too, maybe before you start the music take him to the store that day to pick out his own toothbrush (and for extra fun, one for daddy too- even if it is a fun kids toothbrush for daddy to use just for that time). Good luck!
K.
L.R. answers from Washington DC on September 27, 2008
Hi, S. -- can you stand one more idea, though you've already gotten terrific ones? (And use 'em all too, like the new toothpaste and electric brush!) If the routine is always in the same order -- playtime, then bedtime routine which includes toothbrushing-- it could be that toothbrushing is a signal to your son that Playtime Is OVER and Your Fun Day is Done. You might try switching the brushing to immediately after dinner and before the playtime -- so that he knows that the fun fun with Daddy starts AFTER the teeth are brushed. Of course, this could mean that putting on his pajamas then becomes the signal that the fun is over, but...let's fight one battle at a time! Just a thought! Good luck!
K.H. answers from Washington DC on September 27, 2008
You could try having 2 tooth brushes , 1 for him to use and the other for dad to brush his teeth with , let him do it himself first of all & then make sure he knows that his dad has to do them also just to make sure they are nice & clean. I found this has worked with my kids.
Good luck.
S.S. answers from Charlottesville on September 27, 2008
S.,
Could it be the toothpaste that is the problem and not the brushing itself? Try and see if he will brush his teeth with just water on the brush (no toothpaste!), and if so, that may solve this problem. As long as he brushes his teeth at this age - even with just water (warm is probably better than cold) - it will begin to help him form the proper habit and routine. Later, when he is older and his mouth can tolerate the chemicals in the toothpaste better, you can try to find a toothpaste or gel that he will use.
Brushing the teeth is important, but toothpaste isn't as vital as actually learning the proper brushing techniques and doing them.
S.M. answers from Norfolk on September 26, 2008
S.,
After having $8000 worth of braces and surgeries on my mouth to fix the problems, I am a big advocate of oral health. We make Tooth brushing a family event. My 2 kids (4 and 2) brush their teeth with me every day. We let them pick out their own tooth brush and toothpaste and I even let them pick our mine and my hubbies. We like to turn on the radio and dance a little while we brush and even make funny faces in the mirror. I keep a dry erase marker in my bathroom so my kids can color on their reflections while they are brushing. Anything to make it fun. Some times for hygeine's sake, you just have to make them suck it up, but don't force it every night. Also if you have a dog, show your son that even dogs need their teeth brushed too and show him how to do it or let him do his while you do the dogs. Good Luck!
L.N. answers from Washington DC on September 27, 2008
Hi S.,
We struggled with this when our son was 2 yrs old, almost 3. It got so bad that I was concerned he'd end up with a mouth full of cavities. We would offer to read an extra book at night, extra back scratching from Mom (always a hit in our house),etc. and nothing worked. We finally started a small sticker book that could be kept in the bathroom drawer. Every time he brushed his teeth without issue, he received a sticker. We made a big deal out of it. The stickers were a character he really liked, so it was fun for him. If he ended up with three stickers for the day, he'd get 10 minutes of extra play time before bed. Now that doesn't mean that there weren't still those occasional nights where he refused. Before we started the sticker program, I had to hold him down and brush his teeth. I hated doing it, hate admitting it in writing here, but was seriously concerned that he was going to end up with some major dental issues if we didn't intervene. We did this because he would bedgrudgingly brush his teeth at first, then went to outright refusing to let us come near him. We didn't have to do that very often, by the way. He decided he didn't like being forced to brush at all, and combined with the stickers, it gradually got better. Now teaching him to "spit", was a whole other issue! LOL. Hope this helps. Good luck!
L.S. answers from Norfolk on September 27, 2008
We had a similiar problem with our son. When he saw his daddy and me using an electric toothbrush, he decided he wanted one. He loved it. He even reminds me if I forget.
Email