Brushing My Toddler's Teeth

Updated on May 02, 2008
R.M. asks from Princeton, NJ
34 answers

Hello moms - I am looking for suggestions for making teeth brushing more pleasant for my 22 month old daughter. I seriously think it is becoming a traumatizing experience for her(and us). We are to the point that we have to (gently)pin her down to brush them, which worked, but now she has learned to scream and cry with her mouth closed. I'm sure our neighbors think we're torturing her. We probably are. We sing to her, dance, show her funny videos, let her brush our teeth, etc. We are REALLY trying. It is impossible, but I refuse to let her teeth rot like those of many other toddlers I know. Any ideas?

Thank you,

R.

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So What Happened?

Hello all - thank you all so much for your wonderful ideas and advice. Brushing
Anna's teeth tonight was a breeze! First of all, we relaxed about it. We sat her on the bathroom counter, and brushed our own teeth with much enthusiasm. All she wanted to do was to grab our toothbrushes and to brush her own, which she doesn't do very well. She pretty much just sucks and chews on them. (we have MANY toothbrushes now, and use a swallowable, children's toothpaste) We tried to get in there a couple of times, and she responded with a big NO! Then I said, "Anna, I think I see a bug in there! Open up, let me see if I can get it!" And on and on it went. She was thrilled, I brushed ALL of her teeth well, and 10 minutes later, she said, "I had bugs in my mouth! I spit them in the sink - all gone!" Thank you Dawn!!!!!

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E.S.

answers from Albany on

Hello
Did you try a automatic brush,,, the ones with little animals ,, i bought a power ranger for my son and now he does on his own,, dont believe in force the child as it will be worse ,, but you have to be strong and try different ideias.. good luck

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J.B.

answers from New York on

You can buy her toothpaste with characters (e.g., sesame street, dora/diego). These toothpastes are flavored yet still "real" toothpaste. Also, let her go with you to the store and select her own toothbrush. We also bought colorful washcloths and let my son choose his color each night. He likes to make decisions and do it on his own. Best of luck!

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D.B.

answers from New York on

I am working on it too, the only thing that works for us (he's 28mos) is that we watch one show as we are winding down getting in jammies/etc then teeth.. so if he doesn't listen I "pause" the show and tell him the Blues Clues is waiting for him to brush his teeth. I just wait, most of the time he gives in I do tell him that i'll do it quick, reinforce all the good things about clean teeth, etc... the days he starts a little temper, I let him have his temper, and give one warning that I'll shut off his show, then if he settles down,etc.. I put it back on...

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R.K.

answers from New York on

Hi R.,

Our son learned to brush his teeth by watching another child his age. His mom matter of factly brushed his teeth and our son sat there gape faced and watched. I asked them to do it again and explain it to our guy.... and it worked! He now loves to brush his teeth. We started with the training toothpaste, but once he learned to spit we switched to fluoride. I explained that he was now using toothpaste with special fluoride chemicals to protect his teeth and that he could not swallow it. He talks about fluoride and how he brushes his teeth. He tells me when they're fuzzy and when they're sparkly clean. Also... you could take Anna to the dentist. They have videos and toothbrushes, toothpaste and rewards at the end. What I found annoying was at one dentist they asked him if they could do this and that instead of "now we are going to..." which is what he responds to. We switched dentists to a pediatric dentist... they know what they're doing. Also... he comes to the dentist with me and sees what cavities are all about. Best of luck!

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A.C.

answers from Albany on

Can you try an battery powered toothbrush? Maybe a character brush, Cinderella or Pooh. They worked for us b/c our daughter loved to novelty of it. I also felt that even if she wouldn't move the brush around properly, at least the spinning head would get some of the work done.

A.

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M.S.

answers from New York on

Have you shown her video on other toddlers brushing their teeth? that may encourage her.

you teach piano? how much do you charge?

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Buy her a electric tooth brush with dora or barney she will like that better

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi R., I am a grandmother, having raised 5 who are now all grown (41 to 25) We never brushed our baby's teeth. Only one had bad teeth and I did nothing different with him. One son had no cavities until 17 years old. Maybe you can lighten uo and re-introduce it at another time. Let her see how much fun you have brushing and she may begin to like it! Best wishes, Grandma Mary

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Q.F.

answers from New York on

i tried so hard to not torture my daughter and just let her brush her teeth, and wipe them after eating (being told here that ANYTHING is good as long as SOMETHING was being done...basically something is better than nothing). well, doesn't seem to be true (unless she's just inherited my husband's horrible family genes) i FINALLY got her to let me brush her teeth along with her if i let her do it on MY bed and tickle in between brushing screaming (in a funny way) "i'm gonna get those plaque bugs, i'ma gonna brush, brush, brusha those teeth!!!" but anywhere other then MY bed didn't work. well, i took her to the dentist shortly after her 2nd birthday and they said that she has signs of superficial decay (looks like she's starting to get cavities, so i guess i got her to let me brush THE RIGHT WAY too late) so in my personal experience, get as many teeth brushing video's and books for kids and force her no matter what if you don't want to deal with what i'm going through and pray that she's not embarrassed until her 2nd set comes in (also praying that they aren't damaged because of the problems now).

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K.C.

answers from New York on

Hi R.,
My 2 yr old daughter doesn't like brushing either, but here are a few things that work. We let her do it herself (she can chew on the toothbrush for a bit) and she gets to help put the toothpaste on, as long as when she's finished mommy or daddy gets a turn. We've also let her watch a few more minutes of tv if she lets us brush. Then we race to the bathroom to rinse (she gets to hold the cup under the water and dump it out when finished). The latest effort which seems to work--although I don't know if it will work for everyone--is we have to hurry to get the buggies off her teeth. She laughs at this, but if your daughter is at all afraid of bugs, I'm guessing this could backfire :o)
Good luck!

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S.F.

answers from New York on

I let my children go to the store with me and pick out the coolest toothbrush that they could find, whether that be one with a favorite TV character on it, electric, colorful, super hero, whatever interests them. They were so excited to use it the problem was solved. You might also try giving her fun toothpaste options. They even make toothpaste with sparkles, what girl can resist? When the excitement wears off go choose another!

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A.I.

answers from New York on

Have you tried giving her the choice of doing it herself with a new fun toothbruth or having you do it for her?

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K.M.

answers from New York on

My 2 & 3 year olds love brushing their teeth & I thank God for that. When my daughter was their age she hated it. Buy her a mirror that you can sit on the table & have her help you design the mirror with things that she loves(stickers,etc..). Then sit her down in front of it with the toothbrush so she can watch herself brush. She can see that it's not hurting her. The mirror can be from a dollar store so you don't waste money. Try it, it may work. Best of luck to you.

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A.S.

answers from Syracuse on

My daughter is the same age, and we just let her brush her own teeth. We put a little bit of the toddler toothpaste on her toothbrush and give it to her. I will stand there and brush my teeth along with her. If I see she's just sucking on the bristles I will gently move the brush around. She loves to brush her teeth (I think it's more of the toothpaste). I would just try to give her her toothbrush. Do it all together. Let her get used to the idea of her brushing her own teeth.

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M.C.

answers from New York on

I agree with having her pick out her own toothbrush and use a bit of the toddler toothpaste.
I also suggest taking her to a (pediatric) dentist. Ours will joke around and get my boys to laugh so they feel comfortable and then he counts their teeth which lends leads to cleaning them. When he talks with them about clean teeth, they listen. And they love to get a goodie bag with their own new toothbrush, etc. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Hi R.,

I think your dentist can help. My daughter's dentist talked and joked and laughed and in the midst of it all told her that she can brush and mommy or daddy must have a turn too. And, we count to 10 forwards and backwards. Best of luck, :-)

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T.B.

answers from New York on

My daughter loved JoJo's Circus on disney and they actually have a dvd out that has one episode of JoJo singing and Goliath brushing his teeth. My daughter and I would sing it on the way to the bathroom and then while I brushed her teeth I would sing it - I also bought Disney princess cups that could only be used in the bathroom at brushing time, I also bought a step stool (Dora) that was hers alone to look in the mirror- we have a low mirror - sometimes that will help- good luck and I hope you find something that works for you...TRISH

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M.D.

answers from New York on

My son is almost 21 months and we have had similar experiences- we had trouble starting at one then it was fine then it got hard again- lately it is good again- our tricks are an elmo toothbrush- he loves elmo- a toothbrush song- make one up to any childrens tune- that also tells him how long is left since we brush to the end of the song- my huband puts his knee on the toilet and holds him on his knee and I do the brushing. afterwards we blow bubbles- one of the those little bubbles left from a wedding. The bubbles is the new element and now he looks forward to tooth brushing and has no problem with it. M.

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J.A.

answers from Rochester on

I truly feel your pain. We didn't take our daughter(now 33 mos) to the dentist until she was 17 mos. old. Until then we had only wiped her teeth, and by then she had started to develop a cavity on her front tooth! She was also a breastfed child and we are still co-sleeping part-time. We had never given her juice or sugary foods and we eat 'whole foods' most of the time. It was just a predisposition. We had to brush her teeth after each meal, floss daily and put concentrated fluoride on her teeth each night. We had no choice but to force her to have clean teeth. So we did what you're doing and I got very good at holding her down to get the job done; (her head between my legs with her legs pointed in the same direction as mine, her arms under my legs if she fought it.) What helped was to put on her favorite DVD so she could be happily distracted. Also, the hygienist showed me how to anchor her mouth open by putting my index finger behind her molars, where she could not bite me, using the other hand to brush and wipe with a wet cloth. Over time she became increasingly cooperative and shortly after she turned 2, she was able to cooperate with being brushed at the sink. If she doesn't cooperate I remind her we can always brush on the floor. I also have her make 'animal faces' to really get her lower front teeth and to get her to open wide. Along the way we also had her brush our teeth while we brushed hers, and we've always had her brush her own teeth before we "finish" to go along with her need for independence. My daughter's cavity is stabilized and doesn't need restoration but it has a stain on it that won't go away and I always regret not having seen the dentist/ started her on brushing sooner. Kids adjust and all the extra TLC you give her reinforces that she can trust you. We've always explained to her that if we don't rid the cavity creeps that the dentist would have to fix her tooth in the hospital. (The truth without making it too scary.) Best of luck! This truly is the hardest job on the planet.

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M.F.

answers from New York on

Hi R. i'm a 33 year old mom of three..A daughter who is 7,and two boys ages 15 and 4..I'm currently a stay at home mom since dec of 08...I have to get use to it and i feel like a looser..I have been a dental assistant for 12years. I want to inform you that pinning your daughter down will only tramautize her when she has to go to the dentist office...I suggest having her go to target and picking out her own toothbrush and her own toothpaste and let her put the toothpaste on alone..let her brush her teeth her way for now..then you play with her after and tell her 'SHOW MOMMY HOW YOU BRUSH'then go over the teeth and brush them and ask her did you brush this one or this one..also let her pick out some cute dixie rinse cupr and put them in the bathroom..maybe make her own cute basket with her cups,toothpaste and toothbrush..

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S.H.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi R.! First, may I start out by saying just relax and try to make this her decision rather than forcing it on her.

We went through the same thing with our daughter at about the same age. I call it her independent phase which is all about "I can do it myself" attitude. I was concerned over her not brushing her teeth so I asked her doctor at her 2 yr visit if it would lead to cavities. He told me to relax and make it fun instead of a chore.

We bought a new toothbrush (Dora, of course) and toothpaste (Toddler training toothpaste with Little Bear on the tube who she also loves) and we gave her the brush to do it herself. At first she chewed on the toothbrush and would swat me away if I tried to grab the brush. If I did get the brush she would go into a major meltdown so I stopped doing that. The next step was teaching her how to use the brush. What I did was brushed my teeth at the same time showing her in very slow motion how to go back and forth and up and down.

This worked really well because she is very independent. She is so good at brushing her teeth now. She is almost 4 and brushes her teeth on her own. Getting the toothpaste and rinsing, all I have to do is watch. She has a blinking toothbrush that blinks for 1 minute because we were having issues with her not brushing long enough. Now we turn the lights out and she brushes while the toothbrush blinks, she thinks it's a riot!

Have patience with your little one. She is learning how to do things herself and as long as you aren't pumping her full of sugary products, I don't think her teeth will rot in the interim of the learning to brush.

Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from New York on

Hello R.,

I purchased Dora Goes to the Dentist Book. After having read it to my daughter, she decided that we had to play dentist. I'm the dentist, she is Dora and we count and bursh her teeth. It has been over three months and she laughs and enjoys "playing" the game as we brush her teeth.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

I guess the truth is trying to force something on our little ones starts with the small things we want to do that will help them... and the resistance starts with something as simple as brushing her teeth...
I know you are afraid that her teeth will rot.. but alot of toddlers have rotten teeth from other things like the sugars in juice that they get from their nightime bottles..
Give it some time, try not to force it on her, maybe she can she brush her own teeth while you brush yours. Then after she gets alittle better at doing that she might let you get the tough places when she's done:)

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Give it up for a few days. Let her see you brushing your teeth each morning and night. When she finally asks for the toothbrush (which see will trust me - it is human nature!), tell her no until she eats all her dinner, says please, etc...whatever it is you want to say to make toothbrushing seem like a privilege, not a chore. Forcing almost ALWAYS backfires. When she does "earn" back to toothbrush - let her do it herself for a week or two while standing next to you when brushing yours. Her teeth won't rot....and they are baby teeth after all!

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E.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Have you tried giving her the tooth brush? Let her do it. Another idea is to brush teeth with her. Get your tooth brush and have her copy you. At first she will have a hard time, but she will get it.
Take her to the store and let her pick out another new toothbrush and a toothpaste. We sang songs, I let him brush my teeth with my tooth brush first. Get a puppet and have the puppet brush your teeth then her teeth. You may have tried these ideas, i do not know, but pinning her down will traumatize her to do a duty that is not an option. Good luck. I think because of her age, most of the struggle is over independance. Good Luck.

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

I have been through this and I have to say that missing a little while of brushing teeth will NOT rot her teeth. It is far better to be more lenient than basically torture her.

You may not think that is what you're doing, but to her mind, you are holding her forcefully and shoving something in her mouth against her will.

Relax. Stop making a big deal of it. In less than a month if you make it a TREAT instead of a hassle, she'll come around. Her teeth are only going to rot if you feed her sugary snacks, juice/pop from a sippy cup, and she has milk/juice pool in her mouth while she sleeps. I have 4 children, all co-slept, all breast fed, and I make my living writing about parenting, so trust me, your child will not loose her teeth over a few weeks (even a little more) of non-brushing.

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D.M.

answers from Albany on

This may sound crazy but it has worked with all 4 (1 boy 3 girls) of my children. My youngest is now 23 months old. I created this technique because I also had difficulty with brushing their teeth. This isn't for everyone - but it has worked for me. I pretend there is a little bug (plaque is kind of like bugs eating their teeth) in their mouth trying to put holes in their teeth and I have to get the bug with the toothbrush - I brush one side and then say it went to the other side and on and on until I get their teeth all clean. When I rinse the brush I tell them I'm washing the buggy down the drain - and they have to spit the buggies out. Crazy I know - you decide if your child would get a kick out of it or not - don't do it if it would scare them. Good luck and happy buggy brushing!

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S.P.

answers from New York on

Try taking your daughter to the drug store and let her pick out a special toothbrush and character toothpaste. This will help her get more excited about brushing her teeth. This worked for our daughter. I hope this helps.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Hi R.--
Did you try those little rubber finger covers that have soft rubber "bristles" on them? I think they are used for teething to massage the gums, and can also be used with the toddler toothpaste that can be swallowed to apply to the teeth and massage the gumline. It's a great way to introduce the brushing idea without the torture of real brisltes. Does she like the taste of the toothpaste? Maybe buy a few different "flavors" and tell her you want her to taste them all and tell you which she likes the best. Then put it on the "magic blue finger" or "Mr. Toothworm" and have him talk to her before "going in." Get 2 or three of them--one for her (though it will be too big for her finger) and one for each of your index finger and make a puppet show. Do it at a different time of day unrelated to tooth brushing time.
Good luck!!

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L.W.

answers from New York on

Dont feel alone because I have a 4 year old who still refuses to brush his teeth on his own and I have to hold him down inorder to get them clean. My only advice is to keep doing what your doing but to talk to her about because I've tried brushing together and letting him brush my teeth also but have come up with nothing.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Hi,
I know how frustrating it is to try to clean those tiny teeth while arms and legs are kicking! This is what's worked for us, we brush our son's teeth twice a day, in the morning he "brushes" his own teeth while i brush mine, he loves imitating me and making funny noises and spitting when i do. then in the evening we sing songs while i brush his teeth "old mcdonald" is great, anything with an "E" or "O" so that your baby's mouth is wide open. after i'm done he gets to brush himself for a little while to make sure i did a good job. Also a quick rescue for the nights where you're too tired to brush is to wrap some dental gauze around your finger, get it damp and just quickly wipe her teeth
hope this helps
best of luck
A.

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J.P.

answers from New York on

Hello R.,
I have a 4 year old who loves to brush his teeth and go to the dentist. I started taking him when he was 2 and now he can't wait for the next 6 months to go by. I have to thank the hygienist who cleans his teeth for making it such a great experience for him. I also work part-time at the dental office so that helps a little too.
My daughter Chloe is 21 m and she loves to brush her teeth as well. Did you try the toddler tooth paste that is swallow-able? They have some really great flavors like berry and strawberry banana. I have to hide the tube because she likes to take it and suck on the gel. This toothpaste does not need to be rinsed and does not contain any fluoride so it is okay for them to swallow. Maybe if you let her brush her own teeth for a few days using the toddler paste and then tell her that Mommy will help her get all the buggies out, it may work. Good Luck!!!!
- J.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

Have you tried cleaning in the bathtub? sometimes it helps to incorporate both.

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T.S.

answers from New York on

Turn on the water before you begain to brush her teeth and let her put the toothpaste on her toothe brush and brush your teethe with her I hope this will help you . Sometimes the sound that comes from brushing your is unbairable I am grown and it still bothers me.

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