Brownie Troop Concerns

I can say personally that wouldn't be ok with me. I would take the leader aside and explain I have another kid and I can not do this every meeting. That's just me though.

Brownies starts at age 6 right? By age 6 kids should be able to function without the parents in the room.

I'm a Brownie Troop leader, and my parents leave every time. I prefer it that way. This gives their daughters the opportunity for independence (as you mentioned), it allows them to be better behaved, and it allows my co-leader and me to lead the meetings/activities without the fear of judgement (ha!) My daughter was in a troop last year where the parents would stay every time, and none of the girls behaved well at all. They kept getting out of their chairs to talk to their parents, sometimes the leader would talk to the parents about things instead of to the girls, and it was just not about the girls as much as it should have been. One reason I decided to start my own troop. I think it's great that parents want to spend more time with their moms/dads, but Brownies is about exploring yourself as a 7/8 year old and learning things outside of the classroom with your friends. Then going home to tell you parents all about what you've learned, and parents can watch their girls grow this way. I don't think your thoughts are out of place at all.

I have MANY years of Girl Scout leadership experience. Even in a co op troop (where all parents take turns leading meetings and activities) we never expected every parent to stay, every time.
It's too bad this wasn't explained up front, I don't blame you for not wanting to go to every meeting!

It sounds unusual - my main concern is that it wasn't explained. It seems a huge disappointment for working parents who can't be there every week, and basically a group that excludes children with working moms or no moms. It honestly sounds more like a play group for older kids, with parents taking turns leading the group and sharing the expenses. Maybe it's a "first experience" kind of thing to make sure the kids enjoy it, but it does seem to defeat the purpose, which is to experience a troop leader(s) and bond with the group. Sounds like a lack of leadership.

Yeah, doesn't sound typical, especially with Brownies. I sometimes stay, but most of the time I just drop off our daughter.

Mommy and me activities usually stop by kindergarten, with it being voluntary after that, because girls are learning independence.

That is a bit odd. 2nd grade? What about moms that work? Their daughters get rides, maybe?.... Are the troop leaders new to this? I am not sure there is much u can do about this.

I just went through something similar with cub scouts. They gave out a glossy brochure in school and my son seemed interested so we went and signed up. After paying the annual dues and buying the uniform, it came out that the pack for my son's age had no leader, that all the rules for parent participation were changing (mandatory attendance for a certain amount of meetings and activities), and then I suddenly got hit up for another $100 in fundraising that I knew nothing about.

I don't have a problem volunteering, but I'm a single working mom and I was really looking for an activity that would be more about doing boy-type stuff without mom hovering. It certainly didn't seem like the cub scouts of my older brother's time. Needless to say, I pulled him back out for now - I just couldn't afford all the financial and time obligations.

A number of parents have since told me that for boy scouts and girl scouts it's all about the leaders and how organized/enthusiastic they are. Not downing the people who volunteer for this type of thing (I certainly couldn't do it), but they should be forthcoming in the beginning about their expectations of parental involvement.

We may try again next year, but I will certainly be asking a lot more questions.

i'd be pretty annoyed by this. not at the expectation that you participate, which you're perfectly willing to do, but that all parents have to present all the time. not only is it a not-always-doable time commitment for many parents, especially working ones, but that doesn't foster the independence and camaraderie that are the hallmarks of girl scouts.
girl scouts isn't supposed to be a mommy-and-me group.
it's also not too cool that it wasn't made quite clear at the beginning.
i'd be right there with you- willing to go along so my kid could enjoy it, but not thrilled at this turn of events.
maybe next year there will be a less uptight troop leader?
khairete
S.

I was a co-leader for one of my DD's daisy troops year ago. It is A LOT of work! Oh my goodness, it was like having another job! So I get the fact that you are being asked to do a lot, there is just so much expected from the program. Even if it's a small troop, the leader may want to consider teaming up with a co-leader to share the planning/organizing/leading etc.

That being said, at this age, my daughter and all of her peers were so much better behaved if the parents didn't stay. It totally changes the dynamic to have that many more adults in the room, its supposed to be about the girls.

I would have little chat with the troop leader. Just tell her you will be dropping off/picking up your daughter going forward, because it's a good thing for her independence. Tell your daughter the same thing in an upbeat/positive tone. The troop is about the girls, it's good for it to be her own experience. Offer to bring snacks, contribute materials, and/or help chaperone a field trip. I'd bet other moms will follow your example.

Girl Scout leader here - have led girls Brownies through Cadettes (middle schoolers.)

First, every troop is different. The leader does have the flexibility in GS to run the troop this way, and how we experienced GS as kids is not necessarily how any leader has to run a troop today. But yes, what she's asking is a bit unusual in my experience -- NOT the part of asking parents to lead some activities and provide some materials, though; however, the part of having a parent present for each girl at every meeting is unusual.

It is indeed done by some leaders to have parents take turns leading some (but not all) activities. I have not done it but I've known of troops where parents were asked to each lead one badge during the school year, or just one badge activity, or help the leader chaperone one field trip (local firehouse, local library, etc.) -- though the parents were not expected to be at every meeting, all year long. Regarding materials, parents should not pay for everything (each family should be expected to pay annual dues that the troop itself sets, which helps cover costs like materials), but yes, parents can be asked to pitch in some things, much as a room parent sometimes asks parents to contribute items for a class event. If you wouldn't balk at being asked to provide cups and napkins for a class party, it shouldn't be an issue to provide the snack one week for a GS meeting, or to bring one craft item.

If by "lead activities" you mean that you're being asked to take on one activity a year, or even lead one badge completely or in part, that's not very usual but also not unheard of. And here's one thing to consider: It does allow your girl to see YOU in a leadership position, and to see you supporting her whole troop.

However, having all the girls' parents present at EVERY single meeting is not a good idea.

In Daisies (kindergarten and first graders) it's not completely unusual for parents to stay or for a couple of parents to sign up to help with meetings on a rotating basis, but Brownies are slightly older, second and third graders, and should not need every single parent present by their sides.

Which makes me wonder: Is this leader a brand new leader just starting the job this year? If so, please cut her a little slack; she may be feeling a bit intimidated by the position so she decided from the start that she'd just have every kid plus a parent there, in case any girl had issues or kids didn't get along. The kid management aspect of meetings can be intimidating if a leader has never had to ensure that a whole group of little girls behave nicely toward each other and don't devolve into just running around, not listening. That might explain this arrangement, if she's a new leader and very unsure of herself handling a group of kids rather than just her own daughter. (I'm figuring here that the leader has a daughter of her own in the troop --is that right?)

Bear in mind that this mom is 100 percent volunteering here, and giving her own time to do this. Please approach this in a "How can I help you out here" mode, and try to get other parents to do the same. If this woman is the sole leader, she may be a bit overwhelmed with the idea of being responsible for planning a meeting, buying supplies for activities and crafts, being in charge of behavior, ensuring the meeting space gets cleaned up, ensuring she has the many forms and permissions etc. that GS requires done properly, and, frankly, handling parents' questions and issues. Can you see why she might be concerned if she's new to all that?

Go to her when the kids are not around. Don't do it when she's got the troop there buzzing around her. Ask her if she would consider, rather than having a parent per kid there every time, having a schedule or roster of parent helpers who sign up for helping on specific meeting dates. Suggest that maybe she could have two parents per meeting present so that girls get the experience of being dropped off (which by second and third grades should not be an issue) and the experience of working with adults who aren't their moms. You can also pitch the idea that a roster would let parents get to know other girls in the troop, not just be next to their own daughters each time.

Then, most important of all, please volunteer yourself to set up that roster rather than expecting her to add that to her plate! E-mail makes it easy. She will probably be very grateful.

It might help if you have another parent with you. But don't let the leader feel ganged up on by having a group of you telling her "We didn't sign up for this" all at once. If you frame it more as "We'd like our daughters to get experience in doing things without a parent there and having to follow other adults, but we definitely want to help regularly" you may just relieve her hugely.

But if she says, "No thanks, this is how I want to organize the troop," there may not be much you can do, and you might stick with the troop this year and find another one (please don't leave GS over this! there are other troops run differently) next fall. It is her prerogative though it's not a very efficient way to run things; however, she might get more comfortable with leading a group and drop the "every parent at every meeting" thing by next year, or even later this year.

My son is in Cub Scouts, and that's exactly how it is set up for Tiger Scouts, the youngest group, typically 1st graders. Is it possible the leader has an older son and maybe more experience with how Cub Scouts is structured? One of the other moms and I were quite taken back by how Tiger Scouts is set up, as we were much more familiar with Girl Scouts, but we got used to it.

I agree that this is not how Brownies is usually structured.

that sounds like cubscouts. brownies are not traditionally like that. usually the meeting is right after school and there is a leader and maybe one helper but not all the parents etc.

That is how my daughter's trooped worked. It was a little more structured however. Each mom would chose a badge and plan a corresponding activity to earn that particular badge.

My daughter is a Daisy scout and in the 1st grade. I usually stay for all of her meetings. We meet somewhere that is about 15-20 minutes from our house. Since the meeting is only a little over an hour long, it makes no sense for me to go home. I would be home about a half hour before I would have to leave to pick her up. I enjoy helping out. We have some Moms that stay and some that drop off.

My oldest was in GS from Daisies to Cadettes. The moms were never expected to stay at the meetings, or contribute materials.

My son is currently a Cub Scout. A parent "partner" is expected to be at every den meeting, pack event, and field trip. We are expected to contribute ideas and materials. It is definitely a bigger time commitment than GS in my experience.

I guess every troop is different, but IMO, if someone signs up to be the leader, they should be prepared to plan and run the meetings.

I was in GS for most of my childhood and I have now been a leader for 4 years. I have not had this experience. Each troop is run however it works for the leader. Let me explain, if I was willing to lead a troop (not many parents are) and the only way for me to do it was to have parents commit to helping then I would be up front about it. You should have been notified and "asked" ahead of time. As for drop off vs. staying, it depends on age because of leader/girl ratios, but again that should be established ahead of time. I think that if you can't commit to the level that she is demanding (seems a bit much and I personally have more fun with the girls when mom's aren't there, hehe), then you need to talk with her about it. If its not a good fit then you should consider finding another troop. There might be some adjustment time needed for your daughter, but you both have to feel right about it or it just won't work out in the end.

I think this mom has a good idea. She's not a babysitter trying to wrangle a bunch of kids but a mom who has help and delegates stuff she doesn't want to do. It sure makes things different for her I imagine.

I'm a GS leader and I found your question and responses very interesting! We started in 1st grade with Daisy's and, at first, we had an "open door" policy where the parents could stay if they wanted to help. We had a family donate snack each meeting.

Well, some parents stayed, but didn't bother to help. One dad sat in a chair and played with his phone the whole time. One mom stayed but she was on her computer. Another couple moms stayed and chatted with each other, offering zero help, but managing to discuss what we were doing. Some moms weren't able to help/stay because our meetings were after school and they had jobs, so their kids carpooled with another scout.

It took us only a few meetings like that to close the doors. We were getting mad at the parents, the girls weren't cooperating with us with other adults present, and it made for an awkward atmosphere.

Through the years, we've had parents come in but always with a specific task to help with.

Also, your daughters leader is learning a lot right now, and is probably wondering what she got herself into and overwhelmed. Being a GS leader is truly a part time volunteer job on those days you really plan. My co-leaders and I have project plans, working Google documents, spreadsheets, financial spreadsheets, meetings for us to plan and shopping days to get materials. Believe me, the leaders don't just show up to the meetings and that's it.

I think the parents who do continue to stay will get bored and start separating from the activities anyway over time. Right now, it's all new and interesting for everyone. If it doesn't naturally happen, talk to one of the leaders outside of the actual meeting (where she is very busy and distracted) and let her know why you can't stay but offer to help in anyway you can.