Broken Toys

First, my toy etiquette is "put away toys that are off-limits". This is generally the toy etiquette for kids when they want to reserve their 'special' toys:if you don't want to share, let's put it away before company comes.

That said, if it were me, I personally would have offered to replace the broken toy. If it were me, I also wouldn't ask the family to replace the toy. If they offer, fine, but if it happens again, maybe it's time to have the dinner dates at *their* house!

9 moms found this helpful

Put away any toys you don't want broken. that is rule number one. you will have to suck it up this time around but I think in future I would have play dates away from the house. maybe at parks etc. let your friend know up front the rule at your house is if toys get broken then no more playdates at ht ehouse. and stick to it.

4 moms found this helpful

I agree with Hazel. If I had see my child break a toy, I would've offered and have paid for a new toy.

4 moms found this helpful

I'm pretty much with Hazel on this one.

And as a side note, when you asked him not to play with that toy (the one he then broke in front of you), why didn't you just take it and put it away then? I would have.
An "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry. That ___ was supposed to have been put up. Here, (as you gently take it from him), let me do that now and we'll find something else for you to play with." I don't quite understand how you "asked him not to play with" the toy and he continued to do so and then broke it. :(

3 moms found this helpful

suck it up, and next time they come over, hide the expensive toys. And, when they first get there, tell the boy, in front of his parents, what is expected of him.

3 moms found this helpful

Since our kids were very young, with ANY playdate... we PUT AWAY any toys or belongings, that we do not want touched or broken or whatever.
And we explain to our kids.
Our kids will even tell their friends "that is off limits.... its special... " etc. AND my kids, will tell me... IF something is going on. That a toy... is on the verge of being, broken or the child is rougher etc.
Yes, we taught our kids, HOW to say things like that.
And at times, we even close the doors to private rooms... and my kids KNOW.. that other company is not allowed in those rooms. And that we put things we don't want touched, in that room. And my kids will tell their guests... "that room is off limits... its private..." etc.
And since my kids and their friends can read... I even sometimes, when I have a TON of kids over... will actually put a sign on the door... "Please do not enter. Private."

Beyond that.... my kids when their friends are over, have a ton of fun.
They play. I let them.
Its fine.
Broken toys, are not the usual that happens.

For now, just suck it up.
DID the child's parents, SEE their child, break the toy?
What did they say???
If that were me, I would have apologized, and offered to replace it, out of etiquette and just being, fair.

2 moms found this helpful

just wanted to reiterate this, it's very clear.

If you don't want it broken- you have to put it away before they come.
If you ask them to pay for it- I would not expect to see much of them in the future.

How would you feel if a friend asked you to pay for a toy after a play date, days later?
Toys are meant to be played with or put them away.

2 moms found this helpful

I actually had that kind of thing happen before with my own sister's children breaking the toys, knob to the dishwasher and light bulbs by throwing things at the lights. (YES, GULP) She calmly gave me suggestions where to buy these things to replace them and NO she didn't offer to pay. And this is my sister who always talks about how much money she makes (and she's a counselor to boot!)
At any rate, rather than fight with her I began to simply hide anything (well, couldn't hide the lamps or a dishwasher very well) but made the important things totally unavailable. After all, family is family right? A host of other things have happened through the years, but no more broken stuff.
An evil neighbor boy also broke my son's brand new skateboard and my son was crying. My neighbor told my son that if he didn't stop crying he wouldn't have any friends. I left infuriated and have been cautious about the neighbor ever since.
In both cases I probably should have reacted immediately and not waited. On the other hand I am the kind of person if I react it backfires on me. And for some reason when other people are jerks 'that's just the way they are'
Just protect what you can, stay away from bad people and do what's in your gut. which may go completely against what someone else would do.

2 moms found this helpful

If you don't want it broken- you have to put it away before they come. If you ask them to pay for it- I would not expect to see much of them in the future.

1 mom found this helpful

You seem to have a unanimous decision. I never put toys away - it's sick because there are just too darn many toys and who has the time?. At one point one of my daughters friends was playing very rough with her wooden doll high chair. I asked him to take it easy with it and he picked it up and threw it against the wall and smashed it into pieces.

I calmly asked him to tak a seat on the stairs while I cleaned it up. When his mother came to pick him up I asked him to tell her what had happened. When he wouldn't she insisted I tell her and I did. Ending that I thought it could be glued back together. She insisted on apologies across the board and that if it couldn;t be repaired the boy would pay from his allowance.

Every mom will handle it differently. She and I have similar styles and insist on accountability with our kids.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with Jane K. Put most of the toys away and tell all the children what you expect. You don't give his age. If he's in school I might tell him that you'll expect him to pay for any broken toys. Say, several toys were broken last time you visited and you expect that this won't happen again.

I looked at your profile. If these are preschool boys then I wouldn't do that. I would mention to the mother either now or at the next visit that several toys were broken and that you want to prevent that from happening this time. Ask for her suggestions.

As others have said, if I were that mother, I would've offered to pay for the toy that was broken. Did she know it was broken? If not then she can't offer. I would make sure that during the next visit that broken toys were brought to the parent's attention.

Be open and express your concern with the parents either now or at the beginning of the next visit. If they take offense you know they aren't meant to be friends. Friends are open and accepting of responsibility.