Breatfeeding

Updated on March 29, 2008
T.C. asks from Fair Oaks, CA
23 answers

My 15 month old son Rory likes to breast feed and Nipple twist the other side while feeding. Any suggestions on how to break this habit. Sometimes he will stop eating and cry if I want hiom to stop.

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D.D.

answers from San Francisco on

My son did that to me as well. I tried giving him all sorts of things to hold and nothing worked until I gave him the nipple to a bottle. I guess the general similarity and ability to twist made it close enough for him to be happy. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Sacramento on

My 14 month old girl does the same thing. Sometimes I just put my hand there firmly where she can't have access and say ouch ouch. She doesn't do it as much anymore, but it doesn't always work either. Sometimes she laughs and repeats ouch ouch. I think that if you can distract him with something else he can eventually break or reduce the habit. Good luck :)

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L.M.

answers from Fresno on

It is perfectly okay for him to stop eating and cry when you make him stop. My solution would be to say "no", offer him something else to hold, and if he doesn't stop, put him down for a few minutes. Remember that he is not going to get everything he wants in life, and trying to keep him from being upset is not doing him any favors!

If you haven't read it, you should get the Positive Discipline books - they have specific ones for toddlers, preschoolers, etc. They are an excellent source of wisdom and ideas on how to raise your kids caringly and kindly, without constantly giving in to their demands. It is about raising responsible, caring kids.

Good Luck!

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T.R.

answers from San Francisco on

my son who is 16 months does the exact same thing. it is so annoying and i know how you feel, but what he's doing is actually pretty cool because he is sending the message to your body that it needs to produce more milk for him. it's natures way of satisfying his needs. my only suggestion is to clip his nails often so that nails aren't an issue and to breath and mentally relax yourself as much as you can when he does it, knowing that you won't be nursing for the rest of your life. hope it helps :)

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L.N.

answers from San Francisco on

Your son is old enough that he doesn't need to breast feed for nutritional reasons. So, really, it's ok if he cries and stops nursing if you put him off after he hurts you. It's really important for his development to help him find other self-comforting routines that don't include your breasts, like snuggling with a stuffed animal. So, yes, if he hurts you, you should stop the nursing and explain it to him. He's old enough to understand your words, and it's really important that you let him know that it's not ok to hurt you or anyone else. In more general terms, he also needs to know that you're in charge, which is what keeps him feeling safe, even if in the short-term he cries and complains about it.

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K.M.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter loved to do this too. I started by putting my hand over her hand and pushing towards my breast a little. At the same time I told her that this was hurting mommy and she needs to keep her hand still. If she didn't mommy would put 'nana'(what she calls my breasts) away. It dodn't really ever stop but she soon started responding and just holding the other one with a flat hand. She is now 2 1/2 and still needs reminding, but responds immediatly and just rests her hand on my other nipple.

She also understands now that she cannot do that in public and can only do it when she is feeding at home.

Good luck with it.

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Give him something else for his tactile need. Tell him, "ouch, that hurts mommy". Maybe a soft burp cloth, or something like a bottle nipple or pacifier for his other hand? I remember my youngest did this a little bit, but he settled on my hair or a button on my shirt.

He still likes to play with my hair to go to sleep (he's 6). So, he strokes my hair when I read him a story.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi T.,

My son was a twister too- give him a toy or something small with a lot of texture to it. That should help him stop twisting! Good luck and I hope this helps.

Molly

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W.W.

answers from Sacramento on

Aggg! My son does this too and I hate it. I cover my other nipple with my hand so he can't get it. I like the necklace idea that several people have posted - that might work well. The other thing I do is put a nursing pad on the other side - that way he has a harder time through my bra, but he does sneak inside the bra sometimes... Good luck!

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L.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi T.,
Mine were/are twiddlers too. I can't stand it!

What I do is wear a good nursing bra, so the side that my baby's not on is covered and inaccessible.

Occasionally my 14mo will still try to grab, or lately he likes to pinch my belly. In that case I just hold his hand and tell him, "No, I don't like that.

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C.R.

answers from San Francisco on

my daughter is 13 months and loves to nipple twist too (sometimes they hurt and sometimes they tickle). i thought she was the only baby in the world who does that. i think it's so funny how breastfeeding comes with all these baby quirks. anyway, i usually cover the exposed breast with my shirt or i redirect her hand to the side she's feeding on and let her massage that side...i think it comforts her.

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M.T.

answers from San Diego on

T.-

My son is almost 27 months now, and has done the nipple twist (great term for it!) since he was less than a year old. I let him do it until it hurt, thinking he'd stop once he got bored with it. Unfortunately, he is STILL doing it!! I know how annoying/painful/stressful it is, and I feel for you!
My only advice would be to keep asking him to stop. If he doesn't stop after several verbal requests, physically remove his hand and put it elsewhere. I think you just have to keep reminding him - and if he 'gets it' he may eventually stop. Let him know that it hurts/irritates mommy when he does it, and that you're not just being mean. It may also help to use a nursing necklace - one made of colorful beads on a strong piece of string, that he can play with while he nurses (although this didn't help with my son). I know how uncomfortable it can get, and how truly irritating (both physically and emotionally) it can be, and I would hate for that to become a reason for resenting your son/breastfeeding. Just keep at it, and keep communicating with him!
The best of luck to you!!

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S.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Put a blanket in his hand to fiddle with. That helped my little one. He still twists the blanket on his way to sleep and he's 7 months old and no longer breast feeding. Good luck!

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E.R.

answers from Stockton on

AHHHH!!! I, too, had a nipple twister. I just kept offering different items until he was satisfied with a new one, for him it was a ring on my finger he could twist around. But, still, at 2.5, if he's sick or wakes up at night, he automatically goes straight for the nip. Now, a simple no works and he'll just say, "OK, mama," but I'd say at your little guys' age, saying no AND offering a substitute will be your best best.

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B.J.

answers from San Francisco on

It's a simple solution - just keep your other breast covered while he's nursing. Just don't make it available to him. I never had this issue, because I never exposed both breasts while I was nursing (If I would have, I'd have leaked all over the place, so just kept that side of my nursing bra or pajamas fastened or covered.)

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S.D.

answers from Sacramento on

hahah! My son did this too, it drove me crazy! I got some great advise from this website

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/nursing/

It changes alot, so hopefully the topic is still there.

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My son used to do the same thing. It's like a water fosset, it actually makes the milk flow faster when the other side gets stimulated. But it is way annoying so I would hold the not nursing breast close with my arm, he'll got the gist after about a week.

Good luck
T.

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C.W.

answers from Sacramento on

It's time to be firm with him. Hold his hand and say "no" or "be gentle" in a firm voice. Know that he is learning to obey you when he cries, and that is an important thing to learn. If he won't obey, you will need to remove him from the breast (sit him on the floor even) for one or two minutes. It will take you at most three days to retrain him. Be firm and know that you will not only save yourself some discomfort, but he will be learning obedience, which will have to be learned sooner or later.

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T.G.

answers from San Francisco on

my advice would be to find something else for him to play with. A nice colorful necklace usually works wonders. You can make one, buy one or get a speical NURSING NECKLACE for a specialty shop.

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W.H.

answers from Modesto on

Dont make it available! Cover it up, keep your arm there, whatever it takes.

One of my sisters was a bra strap twiddler (my mom wouldnt have stood for nipple twiddling if that was what my sister was doing as a baby! I dont know, we're grown women now). This was back in the days when bras had those straps that wove through the hook thingy and the excess strap was tucked under and that end was what my sister played with. When she started pulling it out of her shirt to twiddle while being cuddled & sucking her thumb, my mom made her switch to a ribbon tied around a stuffed animal. Eventually it *had* to be grosgrain ribbon (for the feel while my sister rubbed it between her thumb & finger) on her lamb, then eventually, just a grosgrain ribbon without the animal.
Other kids are hair twirlers, ear lobe twiddlers/pinchers, silky fabric rubbers, just give him something else he can do on his own that does not involve your personal body parts.
Try to figure out what it is he likes, the twisting or the stroking or the texture or the 'keeping hands busy' aspect of it.

Good luck! You are wise to 'nip' this in the bud now before he is older!

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My son loved to do this too! I enjoy nursing but did not like nipple twisting at all either. Once he started this habbit, I just kept my bra covering the other side and also had to pull my shirt tightly over the bra so he could not pull it back. If we were in bed, I would pull the blanket over the other side as well. He whined about it, but wanted the breastmilk so bad that he forgot about it after a while. It is amazing how attached they get to the breast after they pass the year mark! They become quite possessive. It can be pretty funny. I hope this helps.

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V.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I have recently seen online some Breastfeeding necklaces. It would give him something else to play with while he nurses.

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter did that and I just sort of put up with it but I've heard other moms say they wore nursing necklaces for the baby to play with. I've seen them for sale online.

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