Breastfeeding or Bottle Feeding in the Evening

She may not be hungry. Try rocking her, and just let her relax or quiet play after her bath. She may just fall asleep without nursing, but she'll wake up when she is hungry. Her little body knows what it needs, and you should just trust it. She will nurse when she is hungry. I would try to use a bottle as little as possible if you can. Of course, if you will be going back to work then that's a different story, but stick to the breast if possible.

T. Theriot, D.C.
New Iberia, LA

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L., it really sounds like your daughter is simply not interested in the 8pm feeding. I'm also not sure 7 week olds need baths at all. That may be throwing a curve into it too. Remember that our skin is simply a sponge so any soaps or lotions with their own toxic ingredients are being absorbed into your baby's skin. As her body is trying to detoxify those foreign ingredients she may become fussy. But this may not be the case- maybe you are not putting stuff on her skin. Its just a thought.

Also, why introduce a bottle? It is not natural and can confuse some babies. My goal with my two boys was to never let a bottle touch their lips. And that goes double for formula! Congratulations on breasfeeding. Unfortunately, it is only something that Mom can do and that was the part that I liked. Sometimes in-laws like to grab baby and pop a bottle in their mouth.

I agree with trying to establish a routine but sometimes you have to go with baby on this one. At 7 weeks they can sometimes be in the middle of colic which for my kids started at around 7:30 pm so feeding was out of the question.
Just my opinion!
Good luck

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At 7 weeks old she is probably too young to get into a routine. You will probably have the most luck trying to establish a routine between 3 and 4 months. My son was fussy in the evenings at this age and it lasted about another month or so. Sometimes when he was fussy and I would try to feed him, he was just not hungry. Trying to force feed a non-hungry baby will just make them fussier. One thing that worked for us was taking evening walks during the fussy hours. The change in scenery helped to distract him most of the time and it was a relaxing way to get out of the house. If she is still fussy in a stroller, try a baby carrier or sling. My husband would often wear one to walk our son and it made the baby feel cozy and secure. When she starts to wind down hold her so her head is near your breast and if she is hungry and ready to have that right-before-bead meal she will turn toward you and make it clear. You just have to work with her schedule at this age. Also, as some other posters pointed out, she really doesn't need a bath every night at this age because her skin is still sensitive and she doesn't really do much to get dirty, maybe just a damp cloth over her face would be a better alternative and non-bath nights.

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maybe try a pacifier?

Dear L.,

Babies know what they need. it's the parents who must learn the signals being sent by the baby. If she doesn't nurse after her bath, so be it. don't force her by switching her from breast to bottle. She's obviously not hungry enough to feed. Relax. Check to see if she's dressed warmly enough, or cool enough, if anything is constricted, if she is wet, dry, not in a comfy position in her crib. If none of the above is an issue, Then just allow her some time to exercise her lungs and vocals. Babies sometimes cry just to hear their own voices. They see the angels all around them and will make noise in communication with what they see! Relax, mom... She will fall asleep and then awaken when she's hungry. Besides all that, just because after 7 weeks You've now decided you want her on a schedule Does not mean she must conform immediately. Just be consistent, stick with the hour of bath, the offering of the breast and bed. Then come back to her when she cries to eat again later. She will work herself out of the phase she's in eventually.

Relax....deep breath...Enjoy your baby, don't stress over her not doing what you want her to do when you want her doing it. There will be plenty of time for those stressful thoughts when she is a teenager!

take care...

D.

Sounds like she may be over tired. Have you tried to do it earlier maybe at 7. If that doesnt work she may be a little colicky. Just keep trying it will get better. My oldest daughter (now 20) use to have to unwind late in the evening and we couldnt do anything with her. Hang in there it does pass.

Hello L.,
I started a night time routine when my baby was a couple days old. The exact time varies on what his day schedule is like. Sometimes he takes a late afternoon nap so we start a little later. Sometimes he is tired a little earlier. Anywhere from 6:30 - 9:30. I try to follow his cues to make it as easy as possible for both of us. He was sleeping through the night at 10 weeks old. He is now 4 months. Our bedtime routine consist of Bath then breastfeeding. I found that playing some really soft classical music helps calm him down. It is not always easy. I suggest sticking to it and she will get the idea that after bath time, bedtime will follow. I personally love being able to breastfeed him a night. It is our time. If your baby girl does not want to breastfeed take a break and try again. I believe if she does not want to breastfeed she probably will not want a bottle either. Take everyones advise and find what is right for both of you. I hope this helps.

I have 5 children and two of the five had a simular problem. My first child especially had a problem between 6:00pm-around 2:00 am. I learned some babies have colic and the problem may be different with each baby. My doctor told me it might be under developed digestive system. Most just do not know why but I do know that it seems to be very uncomfortable for baby and that makes life unconfortable for the whole family. We would go for rides in the car which seemed to help. A walk in the stroller seemed to help. Finally the doctor gave me some medicine that helped him to sleep. Ask you doctor about something like that because medicine changes. It did end it seems at 3 months on the date. God bless you

Sounds like she's not really hungry, you might try to make her prior feeding a little earlier if possible and see if that helps. :}

Dear L.,
I certainly understand wanting to establish a routine for bedtime, but maybe the routine should not include feeding. Maybe she's just not hungry for whatever reason after bathtime. Try something else in your routine like singing and rocking or anything else that might be fun for both of you but also soothing. It seems that it's not the breast OR the bottle that your little one wants. Possibly all she wants is a little one on one time and some rest. Good luck to you!

Hi! I agree that babies that young make their own routine and it's best to just go with the flow. I also agree that she may not be hungry, so you could rock, wear or cuddle her to sleep and feed her by the breast when she wakes up. BUT, if you really want to get a bedtime started, have you tried to start at an earlier time? Your baby might be too tired to settle down easily. I had a similar experience with my first daughter. I was putting her down between 8:30 and 9:00, but turned out she was actually ready for bed at 7:00. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and that helped out a LOT. It teaches about childhood sleep and why they sleep the way they do and how much they need. The thing that helped me the most was learning that children are often tired before they display signs of being tired. Once they start fussing, pulling at ears or hair, rubbing eyes, laying their head down, etc, it's too late and they are "too" tired to slip easily into sleep. I'd try inching her bedtime a little earlier by 20 minutes a night until you get to a time that works well for her. I know other mamas that put thier little ones down as early as 6:30 because their kids just really do need that much sleep.

And babies should never drink water, and they definitely don't see angels or cry to hear themselves. A crying baby is communicating with YOU, not supernatural beings. She needs to be picked up if she cries. Good luck mama!

My little one did the same thing, but it all stopped when she was about three months old. Nothing I did for her made a difference; hopefully a few others might have some suggestions for you.

L.
Maybe try bathing her, let her take a short nap, then try feeding her. Maybe she is either, not hungry enough to nurse, or a little tired from the bath.

Good Luck
S. Miller

Dear Mom, I'm not Hungry at 8pm. Would you just hold me close and sing or talk to me, after my bath? Help me relax by you relaxing with me. Remember I can still feel all your emotions. I'm sorry that I'm not going along with your routine. I'll let you know when I'm hungry. Hey Mom, What's a routine? If it is that important to you, then maybe I should have a little water instead of milk, no sugar please I want pretty teeth to smile with. Love ya Mom! Your baby girl.

I agree with most of the postings...she's probably not hungry. If she's truly fussy, it maybe that she's having some gas and her stomach hurts a little. My son got gassy every night about that time. Although some people will differ, it's much easier to figure out their schedule than to try to force a baby to your preferred schedule. One thing I found helpful was to take a day and jot on a notepad every time we changed activities and what we did. For example...8 am fell asleep rocking...8:45 woke up and ate...9:30 tummy time.

Most importantly...DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT give your baby water as someone suggested. Babies this age cannot have water because their kidneys are not able to process it yet. It can cause major medical problems!!!!

She may just not be hungry. Try feeding her before her bath or wait a half hour or so longer after and try feeding her then. Little ones tend to set their own routines, so it's best to see when she wants to feed and go to sleep and set the rest of the day around that then forcing the issue. It makes things more complicated but you'll have a happier baby.

Get "On Becoming Babywise" for help with establishing a good routine.

Dear L.:

I breast fed my 2 youngest children the longest. My 5 years old was nursed 'til she was 10 months old. with her because I was teaching at the time, I had to work on getting her use to a bottle before the end of my maternity leave. If you are a stay at home mom or you're not planning to go back to work any time soon, there's no reason to rush in getting the baby use to a bottle.
I started with the bottle at the end of her second month. I pumped lots of my milk in between feedings, especially at night and made a good milk bank. My husband took care of my baby when I went back to work. I used Avent bottles. But keep in mind that starting too early to introduce the bottle is not recommended.

Someone comment on babies taking a bath, if you feel sweety, chances are your baby needs a "bath". It can be a wet cloth bath.

Related bottles, now a days there are so many styles, some recommended for breast feeding babies. Experiment with several (don't buy many just 1 of each to see which one the baby likes best).

With my 2 years old, I nursed him almost until his 2nd birthday. He was never too excited about bottles but I used Avents and "Second Choice" with him. I'm pregnant again and with God's help, I'm planning on not using bottles but just switch to the zippy cups once the baby is ready to drink by him/her self (for water, juice).
One thing others already mentioned, your baby doesn't seem to be hungry at 8:00pm. She's just a new born, enjoy her, and relax. you'll have plenty of time to establish different routines once she is older. and believe me they do grow and become quite independent from us!!! ( I also have 2 already married daughters, can you believe it? )

:)
God bless you and your family, especially your little gift girl!
R.

PS: Related babies and water: a breast feeding baby doesn't need to drink water that young but where I come from we have tropical weather all year around, and during summer weather in the US, we have to be extra careful with babies, make sure they are breast fed often and with older babies they do need water otherwise a baby like an adult can get dehidrated. But please double check with your child's doctor, my words are not "gospel".

Depending onthe schedule she keeps during the day, she may be over tired which would mean start the bedtime routine a little earlier. Or possibly she is not hungry for that nighttime feeding when you are ready to give it. I know lots of people talk about making the routing for the child, but after 4 kids, I've found it is easoer to let them make their own routine as infants. Hope this helps.