Breastfeeding HELP!!!!

hello I breast feed my daughter now 10 . I did it for 18 months . Is the baby feeding on both sides ? How many wet diapers a day ? It seems from the weight gain that the baby is getting milk . It is really important for the Mother to get rest , sleep when the baby is asleep , eat and drink often , About 6 to 8 meals a day small meal and a lot of milk . I do understand how she must feel about the feeding that are very often , The baby sleep alone? What time is the last feeding at night ? Are you waking the baby to feed ?

I had the same problem, until 2 months into feeding my son, the doctor told me I was starving him. I couldn't believe it because he was breastfeeding constantly for 45 minutes at a time or more. She told me to pump to see how much I was producing out of each breast and I found out I was only getting 1 ounce out of each which was not enough. I had know idea, I thought he was eating the whole time, but instead he was trying to get more and it just wasn't there. She suggested I take yeast pills to help build up more breast milk and pump here and there to get more out of me. I ended up breast feeding for 10 months with him, only supplementing with milk I had pumped. I have a feeling she may not b producing enough either and should pump each breast to find out.
Good luck!

C.

How about trying to pump. That way the baby will still get the good milk and she will not have to feel deprived. I understand that it might be hard. I had breast feed my 3 child. And she seemed to eat all the time. I would pump when she was on the other side or between feedings when ever that was.

Best of luck. She is trying and that is what counts.

Hi J.,

Tell your daughter that it does get easier! The best thing she can do in the early days is DON'T worry about anything except taking care of her baby and herself. Don't try to do dishes or laundry or anything else around the house. The first 6 weeks of breastfeeding can be the most difficult because you and your baby and both learning what to do. It GETS EASIER. The best thing she can do right now is to feed her baby when he needs to be fed and rest herself whenever the baby is resting. When my son was an infant he literally fed every hour. But with time they get more efficient - right now it may take 45 mins per feed, but over time that will decrease to only 10 or 15 mins. As your body gets better at regulating your milk and your baby gets more efficient at getting the milk out, it gets easier and quicker.

She probably doesn't want to supplement because then her body won't be getting the signs to make milk and she will loose her supply. Also, the baby will likely take just as long to take a bottle and if she is home alone during the day - then it isn't going to save any time because she will have to prepare and wash bottles in addition to everything else she is doing.

Tell her to call her local La Leche League or a lactation consultant if it doesn't get better.

Also, the baby may be getting ready to go through his first growth spurt. Growth spurts are important because they tell the mothers body to make more milk. They happen at 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 12 weeks (and there are some later too). During a growth spurt the baby will seem like he is always hungry. This is normal - he is growning and he is sending signals to your body to make more milk. Growth spurts typically pass in 2-5 days.

Congratuations to your daughter on her new baby and to you on your new grandbaby.

Here is an article that may help her:
Breastfeeding tips for new mothers: <http://www.mothersboutique.com/brtifornewmo.html&gt;

J.

A Mother's Boutique
Breastfeeding clothing, nursing bras, breast pumps, slings and accessories
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It's wonderful that your daughter is trying to breastfeed. Unfortunately for her, that schedule sounds right on track. I have a 5 months old and he fed every 2 hours at the beginning for about 40 minutes. It's a learning process for them so it takes them a while. The good news is that breastfeeding gets much easier over time so if she can stick with it for now it will only get easier. It's extremely frustrating though when all you really do is feed & change the baby, but what she is doing is totally normal. My baby still feeds every 2-3 hours (round the clock), but he is much more efficient at breastfeeding so it only takes 5-10 minutes.

Hi! I just want to encourage you and your daughter. I breastfed my daughter and that schedule sounds right on to me! It is more time consuming than formula feeding, but as the baby gets older, feedings will become less frequent and last for less time. Tell your daughter to hang in there! She is doing the best thing for her baby even though it is very demanding on her body right now. The depression and crying is also normal as her body returns to a normal hormonal state. Best wishes to you! I'm pregnant with my 2nd child and plan to breastfeed again. :)

The first few weeks of breastfeeding are really tough. It sounds like your daughter is doing very well. Is she nursing on one or both sides each time? Try and switch it up a little bit. In order for the baby to be sated, he needs to get the hind milk (the milk that comes later, which is fattier and less watery), so if she is switching too soon, he won't get that milk. Honestly what I have found works well for most of my clients is to let the baby eat his fill on one side, and then do the next breast next time.

As far as HER eating goes, it's essential, of course, that she takes care of herself. As a breastfeeding mom I learned to make and eat one-handed foods -- wraps, pizza, sandwiches, toaster waffles, granola bars, etc. Once in a while the baby would get a little mustard or pizza sauce on his head but them's the breaks :) Just make sure nothing is very hot of course!

And any baby care besides breastfeeding that you or anyone else can provide is excellent -- the diapering and burping, etc. Please encourage your daughter to be up front with her care provider bout "the blues" -- they can really escalate.

The best source of help is the La Leche League, a group on moms that joined together to support breast feeding years ago and has grown from a local group to international. Check local listings for meetings and group in your area. If not found, try the human services area of your county or check with a pediatrician in your area.
It is worth the struggle and this too will pass. My babies had nothing but breast milk for the first 6 or more months. La Leche groups also usually have a lending library for help as well as a leader that will mentor your daughter.

Breast feeding is something you have to be committed to. I breast fed 2 children (who are now 17 and 12). From the time they were born they did not have one drop of formula. They also were not on a "schedule" - they breast fed on demand. My oldest stopped breastfeeding when she was over 3, my youngest at 18 months when she was teething. It is difficult at times but if your daughter is determined, it will get easier. Can you or someone be there with her to care for the baby while she takes care of herself? I think the most important thing right now is to encourage your daughter that this is healthiest for the baby and support her emotionally and HELP! HELP! HELP! your daughter until everyone gets adjusted. Wish I could tell ya more or help in some way. ~~~Andrea

Your daughter can breastfeed and supplement with formula. I breastfed and bottle fed all 3 of my babies. I used Nestle Good starts supreme formula (it's easy to digest and it doesn't stain cloths)as a supplement. You do not need to breastfeed exclusively to get the benefits of breast milk. I didn't exclusively breastfeed (I just couldn't keep up with their demand) and my kids were never sick. Perhaps remind your daughter the best thing she can do for the baby is take care of herself. Someone could feed the baby a bottle while she gets some solid sleep. Best of Luck!

Hi J.,

Guess what - it is all completley normal. Newborns will eat approx 10 - 14 times a day. It is EXHAUSTING on the mother - I did it as well. And yes - the mother tends to be wiped out (all of her enrgy is going to the baby). Make sure your daughter eats and sleeps. And encourage her...let her know she is doing the right thing for her baby (and for herself - lots of health benefits for breastfeeding mommys). It looks brutal at first. Many of my friends thought I was nuts to breastfeed...but it does get easier. The first couple of months are rough b/c the baby eats so frequently. Hang in there!!!!!!!

I sent you a private message w/ my phone number.

My youngest was like this. I knew that she was going to need a pacifier the first night in the hospital, she just loved to be nursed non-stop. The second night, I talked to the nurses & they took her from me for an hr & fed her some formula w/ a cup to give me a short break. It was hard for me to do - I bf my oldest until she weaned herself at 28 mos & was all set to do it again.

When I came home, she continued to use me as a human pacifier and I didn't want to mess up our nursing so I allowed it to continue until I was comfortable w/ giving her a paci. It took about 3 mos for her to find one she liked, to get the hang of it but she did eventually & as much as family had a fit about seeing her w/ it in her mouth, she gave it up on her own around 2 & typically only used it in the car & at daycare for naps.

But...back to your daughter. First off, she is nursing the baby & that is great. Formula is not the worst thing every now & again. I actually made my youngest a bottle a few times in the first few weeks as my milk didn't seem to come in enough for her. And...it gave me a short break. Then...when my milk was in & good, I gave up the bottles of formula. I kinda wish I hadn't because she ended up refusing bottles altogether & daycare was so hard!

So...I would say, once or twice a day a bottle of formula will not mess up the benefits of nursing. It will teach the baby to use a bottle so if she eventually wants to go out for a few hours and leave the baby w/ daddy or you, she can w/o having to worry about rushing home w/in an hr. And...it will give her some moments.

Also, bf'ing for me was easier than bottles, once my girls were on, I had the use of a hand even if not the arm so that got the remote & I could prop a plate on a table next to me or on the couch if need be so I could eat while they did. I would suggest that she gets herself situated. Go to the bathroom, fill up a glass with a drink, make yourself a snack or a meal depending on the day, pull up a table for your supplies & find a comfy spot in front of the tv & something interesting to watch & THEN sit down to nurse. The baby crying for an extra 5 mins will be hard but...she'll feel much better about sitting down to nurse.

Also, she should learn to nurse in bed, just for naps at least. When I finally got the hang of that, made my life so much easier because I could snooze a bit w/ my girls. Or I would nurse in a recliner & lean back & make sure to just hook my arms so that my baby was secure & then doze off for a few minutes while I nursed. It wasn't huge but it helped me get through the day.

I hope this helps.

This doesn't sound abnormal to me. Both of my kids breastfed around the clock for the first month or so. It gets better. If it's too much for her, she should go ahead and supplement and not feel guilty about it. It sounds like she needs to take some more time for herself and allow someone else to feed the baby a bottle now and then. Exclusive breastfeeding is extremely demanding during the first few months, and there is nothing wrong with supplementing if it will put her in a better state of mind!

J.,

Please tell your daughter not to feel like a bad mom. I was in a very similar situation, in that my daughter needed a bottle suppliment in the beginning.

If your granddaughter is gaining weight she is doing fine, and the first couple of weeks are tough. In my case, my milk didn't really come in full until about 3 weeks or so. While my daughter didn't nurse as long, she screamed bloody murder because she was always hungry. One or two bottles a day will not harm her baby, and will give her a much needed break. Plus, the baby is in a small growth spurt to regain birth weight, so it is a particularly intense time.

Plus with the constant nursing, her milk supply is always being tapped. A couple of hours will allow her milk to build up a bit, so that when the baby nurses the next time, she will be more satisfied. By the time she's a month old, things will have settled down quite a bit, feedings will space out more, and everyone will be more peaceful. (Except of course during growth spurts when feedings temporarily increase, but that will only last 3-5 days).

Not sure if this makes any sense, as I only have a couple minutes, but couldn't not respond, because I know exactly how your daughter feels, and I want to help if I can.

I, too, cried about feeling like a bad mother, but in retrospect, I was actually being a great mom, in that I put my ego aside and did what was best for my daughter, by giving her enough to eat, giving her what breast milk I could, and giving her a mommy who isn't a walking zombie. That is the most loving thing to do for a child.

Let me know if I can help her in any way. Hugs to you, your daughter and your granddaughter.

C.

This sounds a lot like when I was breast feeding my first child (now 5). He was a lazy nurser and it took him about 45 minutes at each feeding, then burping and a diaper change and I had what seemed like only a matter of minutes before he was hungry again...frankly, it was very difficult and sort of miserable. most days I couldn't get a shower until his mid-afternoon nap (I usually tried to sleep during his morning nap). I don't think I ever got really depressed, but I wasn't really enjoying myself either. So I supplemented with formula, and that helped a lot. A bottle feeding lasted about 10-15 minutes, as opposed to the 45 at the breast. I think I did about 50/50 breast and bottle for his 3rd month (I pretty much only breast fed for the first 2 months, but then I simply could not do it any more), then I gradually phased out the breast feeding during the 4th month. I do feel sort of badly that I only breast fed him for 4 months (and only exclusively for 2 months), but I felt such a freedom when we switched to bottles, it was the right thing to do for us, I have no doubts about that.
With that experience with my first, I was hesitant to commit to breastfeeding with my second, but she is totally different. from day one it's been so easy to nurse her! She eats and is finished in about 15 minutes. So it's working perfectly the second time around. She's almost 9 months and still nursing 3 times per day (in addition to solids of course). I never thought I'd go this long, but it's just the right thing for this baby.
I think your daughter should consider supplementing , or at least pumping and giving the baby a bottle - it will free up some time for her to take care of her own needs. In the end, the arrangement must work for baby and mom, and the baby will be fine when mom is feeling good.
good luck!

Hi! From experience, your baby (and Mommy!) are right on track with what they should be doing now. Those first few weeks (and even the first few months) are basically spent nursing. It is very common for babies to nurse upwards of 10+ times per day. It will get better over time. My best advice is to offer as much support to the mommy as possible. Help her with other things, if you can (like laundry, making small meals, and even changing/burping the baby). Learn to nurse laying down... that way both Mommy and baby can rest at the same time. I even coslept so that at night I could get some rest.
With my first little girl, the constant nursing was extremely overwhelming for me, too. Give your daughter all the support that you can, both physically and emotionally. As a mom who formula fed her first two babies and breastfed (for almost a year now!) my third baby, I wish I had given more effort to sitting and nursing my first two (I quit nursing both within the first week due to feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and like I couldn't get anything else done). With my third baby, I stuck with it, and I am SO happy that I did. She is rarely sick, has never had an ear infection, and is absolutely thriving. Keep up the great work!!!

This was probably touched upon in the replies, but I have not had time to read all of them. If she has nal already learned to nurse lying down, that can be a wonderful help. she can get the rest that she needs while feeding the baby. Also, cosleeping can be a sanity saver.

The baby may just want to suck. That is what mine wanted. I breastfed both of my children for at least 4 months. (My son developed breathing problems and was hospitalized and I couldn't make pumping at the hospital work for me.) Anyway, my son was a sucker so I gave him a pacifier. I know her books say not to that it will cause nipple confusion. It really doesn't. The baby will be fine. Has she seen a lactation consultant just to be sure that the baby's latch is correct and her milk supply is good? I would be more than happy to talk to either of you here is my email address. ____@____.com.

First of all, if she is feeding that much and the baby is constantly eating, I wonder how much the baby is actually getting. How well is your daughter producing milk? Is the baby latching as well as she thinks? Ultimately, she needs to contact a lactation consultant. The hospital where she delivered should have one that she can speak to or she can talk to GYN. The key is TALK TO AN EXPERT.

J.,

That is EXACTLY what happens for the first couple of weeks. What your daughter is going through is normal. It gets easier though. I recommend trying to find a breastfeeding mentor. Similar to you, my mom didn't breastfeed and thought I was nuts for doing what I did. However, my grandmother breastfeed and was a good support person for me. Your daughter is doing the right thing and it is a bit torturing to be so sleep deprived. But, women did it for thousands of years and she'll get through it too. Best of luck to both of you.

Hi my name is D.. My daughter is 16 mos and is still breastfeeding and I still feel like that sometimes even though she is weaning and only nurses for her afternoon nap and bedtime. One thing that she can try is whenever the baby is sleeping try to take a couple of minutes to pump a bottle of breast milk then if you need some sleep or some time to yourslef someone else feeds her and youll get the time to yourself baby still gets to have the breast milk. also, there is nothing wrong with supplementing a bottle of formula for breast feeding. I used to carry around a can of formula in the diaper bag with a bottle of water so that if I went somewhere that wasn't really condusive to breastfeeding (like a park or a mall)then she would have the bottle. Also, by supplementing or pumping a bottle for at least one feeding, allows daddy or grandma to feed the baby and to get some bonding time too. It does not make you a failure. As mothers we tend to put too much pressure on ourselves. we don't have to be perfect.My daughter had to supplement a bottle in the hospital b/c at first she didn't get enough milk from me but then we got the hang of it and she was fine.

Does your daughter have a pump? I actually only pump breastmilk for my 4 month old. I did try to breastfeed, but he was in the NICU for a little when he was born, and he just never latched on correctly. And, it was taking close to 40 minutes when I breastfed him and then I still had to pump because he was not getting enough out! But maybe if your daughter has a pump, that could at least give her a little break and somebody else could feed the baby. Does the baby fall asleep when he nurses? I know the nurses at the NICU told me that I should make sure not to let my son get into the habit of that because he would continue to associate nursing with sleeping. Good luck to your daughter...those first few weeks are amazing, but very difficult at the same time!

My best advice would be to contact the Breastfeeding Center www.breastfeedingcenterofpittsburgh.com. They are a wonderful resource with doctor and lactation consultants. You can use them no matter who your regular primary care pediatrician is. Hopefully they can help your daughter find a little time for herself!

Your daughter is doing a wonderful thing by providing your grandchild with the best nutritian available. I nursed 3 children each for about a year. With my first, I joined Nursing Mothers a local support organization that proved to be invaluable. La Leche League was also another good one. Nursing mothers have many questions with their first and it is very important to have somewhere to turn for answers. Since you have not nursed and cannot be the type of support she needs with getting answers on specific issues, the best you can do is to reinforce that she made the right decision for her child and to help her find a good local support system. I wish you and your daughter the best.

This is unfortunately not uncommon in the first couple of weeks. I always seeked help from other breastfeeding Mom's and also La Leche League which supports Mom's for breastfeeding. It's essential that she builds up her milk supply in the beginning and keep re-assuring her that it doesn't last forever.

J.,
First most babys get enough nutrition in the first 15-30 minutes of breastfeeding so if your granddaughter is staying latched on, she is most likely just suckling (she likes to have that nipple in her mouth).
Tell your daughter to call her pediatrician. This is what they are there for. They can advise her on breastfeeding. Many hospitals have breastfeeding resources - lactation specialists who can help. LaLeche league (online at http://www.lllusa.org/) is a good resource. Finally, if your daughter is feeling so down, there is a good chance she is suffering from the baby blues or even post-partum depression. Have her call her OB/Gyn for a checkup and to talk about her symptoms. In other words, go out and get help. Motherhood is so demanding but there are resources out there.
Most mothers supplement their breastfeeding with a bottle so she should not feel guilty but she can find help with the breastfeeding to make it work better for both of them.

PS I exclusively breastfed my 3 YO and my 1 YO until they started solids at 4 mos. I continued to breastfeed until they were past 1 year old. By this time they were drinking water and milk out of sippy cups (they started water at 4 months and milk at 1 year). They never had bottles (not even breast milk in bottles) but that is what worked for ME. You daughter needs to find out what works best for her. And please reassure her she is doing a great job. New motherhood is so tough and tiring.

Hi J. - I am a 32 yr old mom of a 2year old whom I also did breastfeed. My son would feed for about 20-40 min depending. I did take breastfeeding classes and this 12 times is probably pretty accurate. When mothers bottle feed they guesstimate how many oz the baby needs - 2, 4, 6, whatever - and baby will eat it becasue it is being fed to them. When they breastfeed they only eat what they need. They know when they are full and will fall off on their own. Because it is all the nutrients that the baby needs, there is really no "waste". So the child will get hungry about every 2 hours. It can be very frustrating but rewarding at the same time. And the health benefits are amazing - my son is 2 and has only had 1 earache that we caught before it turned worse. The depression is lack of sleep and def hormone changes - watch for post-partum - i think every mom gets it to some degree but some cases can be worse then others. My advice would be to call the hospital where she delivered and have her speak to a lactaction consultant before she gives up - my sister wishes to this day she would have just called instead of just throwing in the towel. Best of Luck to your daughter!!

What you are describing is completely normal and will GET BETTER! I breasftfed all three of my boys (they weighed about the same as your grandchild at birth) and found the first few weeks challenging each time. If she really wants to continue breastfeeding she should just hang in there and know that this really won't last forever. If the baby is gaining weight your daughter is clearly doing everything right. I went through the same kind of depression/crying especially with my first baby but I really can promise that things will even out. Of course, if she is really miserable she shouldn't beat herself up about stopping breastfeeding or supplementing. One thing I have learned is that you have to do what works for you and your baby. Hang in there!

Hi J. - the same thing happened to me. My son was 8 pounds 14 ounces. It felt like I had to breast feed him around the clock and was barely able to take care of myself. His doctor and the visiting nurse both told me to give him 2 bottles - one during the day and one at night. My son did not have "nipple confusion" and was able to sleep more. I would pump my milk and mix it with a bit of formula. At 6 weeks, I added one tablespoon of rice cereal. This way, he was able to still nurse and also be fuller longer because of the formula. Your daugther will not be able to keep up the pace at the rate she is going and if she is exhausted, she won't be able to produce as much milk and that will result in more feedings. I say a little formula (Enfamil is great) won't hurt the baby a bit. Good Luck!

My (now 3) wee boy breastfed every 2 hours until he was 31/2 months, when he started sleeping through - then he still fed evry 2-3 hours during the day but I got a break at night. The first 6 weeks or so are very tiring for the mother. If she really wants to breastfeed lots of support and cooking and snacks will help a lot. I just kept food and water beside me all the time and gave up any expectation that I would get anything else done for a while. I think it's worth it!
My boy has been really healthy and he's a sweet intelligent boy now - and still breastfeeding a few times a day!

It generally takes 10min to empty a breast that's 20 minutes TOTAL,the baby is using her as a pacifier.When the milk is gone it's gone and the baby should be taken off.If the baby wants to continue sucking then it will suck on it's hand or thumb.Or offer her a pacifier. And get some sleep,this fatigue could interfere with your milk production.

I had similar issues when I first had my son. It seemed as though he was working so hard to suck that he would exhaust himself and fall asleep before he was full. My mom (whom I also live with) didn't breastfeed and still isn't supportive, always directing me to "just give him some formula". Instead, I came up with a solution that worked well for us. I allowed him to nurse on one side while pumping on the other. When he started to fall asleep, I would burp him and then give him the bottle. Since the bottle is easier to suck from, he was able to finish filling up without as much trouble. Now, three months later, he has gotten the hang of breastfeeding, but will still take the occasional bottle if we need to.

Hi! Babies need and love to suck. Try a "mini mam" pacifier (you can find them at Target). As the baby levels off and drinks to fill instead of suck, you will be able to begin a schedule. Newborns require the sucking motion to strenthen their jaws. I was directed to mini mams for my children from The Birth Center and my mother, named J. W.also! :) They have a natural shape that's easy for the baby to get used to and love. (Make sure you start with the minis). This will help, try it and tell your daughter to try to hang in there with the breastfeeding. Many, many mothers feel insufficient when they begin breastfeeding for the first time, but it really does get better. The sadness should go away with the postpartum, then breastfeeding becomes very rewarding and special. Plus, it helps to shrink the uterus much more quickly than non-breastfeeding bodies, so you'll find your body returns to "normal" quicker than others. I found that to be a nice perk, and it helped with my depression because I felt better about myself sooner. Take Care, and Peace,
M. W

Hi J.. Your daughter sounds like she is doing a fine job. I breastfed all 3 of mine, but the first was definitely the hardest. Yes, every 2 hours is quite normal to feed, and yes, 40 minutes can be a normal feeding. My oldest used to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, and was such a slow sucker that it would take forever for him to eat. And yes, I felt like a horrible mother the first few weeks, mainly because when you're sleep deprived you feel horrible mentally and physically. I hope you don't jump to the conclusion that she is suffering from post-partum depression, not yet. The first one is really hard, and it's too soon for her and her baby to be on a good schedule. If she wants to supplement, go for it. If she feels that she'd be doing wrong by her baby to supplement with formula, buy her an inexpensive manual breast pump (or a more expensive electric model) and she can supplement with bottled breast milk. This alone may help her because someone else can give the baby a bottle and she can sleep, or shower without worry, or sleep, or eat a full meal, or sleep (you get the picture). Reinforce to her that she is not alone, there are websites like this, groups, and books that can help her realize that she is doing a great job. Let's not forget her concerned mother. Hang in there. Whatever she decides to do about the breastfeeding, tell her that remind her that she needs to do whatever is best for her and her baby together, not just the baby. Good luck!!

I see that you have lots of advice. I read thru the responses and Abbie P. said preety much what I was going to say. The sling will allow your daughter to move around a little bit more. Also I have asked Le Leche League for info and they are awesome. Very knowledgeable group of individuals. Does your daughter have a Boppy? I can't live without mine. It is great if you are nursing and happen to fall asleep, you won't drop the baby as you are both fully supported. Also has she tried nursing laying down? She at least would be able to get some sleep while doing this. It is harder to get the correct latch on in this position but it is worth a try. good luck!

Hi J., Please Please keep encouraging your daughter to stick with it. It is sooo time consuming during the first weeks of breastfeeding. But it's also important to remember that baby is just figuring it out along with mommy. My daughter Claire, who is now 10 months, took forever during feedings in the beginning, sometimes up to a half hour each side, so i only had an hour down time between feedings. It does get very tiresome. The best advice i got, and i stuck to it like glue, is to sleep when the baby sleeps! If your daughter is crying and seems depressed this many weeks into the game its time to call La Leche League and be on the watch for postpartum depression. I good lactation consultant will come visit your daughter at her home and can help you give her the support she needs. Baby's do speed up once they get the hang of it, my little one can nurse both sides in a total of five minutes. So while it is daunting, and boy do i remember, it doesn't go on like this forever. Feed feed feed your daughter!! Good hearty meals, freezer meals anything you can get premade for her is great. Eating and sleeping are key in the beginning. If you or your daughter are involved in a church contacting them for help with meals is great. If not, let me know, i can contact my church and i know they would be willing to help! I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace
S.

I felt the same way when I had my son last May. The first few weeks of breast feeding are very overwhelming. Has your daughter tried other ways to soothe the baby when they get fussy other than nursing? The times between feedings will get longer and if the baby continues to gain weight, you daughter can cut the feedings off after 20 to 30 minutes if she feels like her breasts are getting emptied. Some friends of mine also had babies that nursed for a very long time and they decided to just pump and feed them the breast milk in a bottle. THat way dad or grandma can also help with the feedings. Good Luck. I know it is really tough, but it does get better.

I know the beginning can be very difficult but over time it is well worth the effort. Babies are born to breastfeed. Has you daughter thought about co-sleeping with the new baby, this allows her to be responsive to the babies needs but not have to disrupt her sleep as much when the baby needs to feed. Also try carrying the baby in a sling so that she can get around the house to get chores done and nurse at the same time. Success in breastfeeding also relies on support from family so just try to be there for her. Good luck. One more thing, you should be careful about adding rice cereal to the bottle as the babies bodies are not able to digest anything but breastmilk until about /6 months old.

I feel for your daughter. Having a newborn can be very trying and when both of them are learning to breastfeed, it can be a difficult time.
First of all, let me assure both of you that the typical newborn does eat around 12 times a day. I understand how frustrating it is to not get anything done (it wasn't too long ago that I was there--I have a 7 month old) but that's also Mother Nature's way of getting mom to rest & recuperate from pregnancy & birth. It IS temporary.

I HIGHLY encourage her to seek the help of a La Leche League Leader or a good IBCLC Lactation Consultant. There's also a plethera of info on www.Kellymom.com --the BEST fact-based website when it comes to breastfeeding!!!!

The baby is still VERY new & they're both still learning. It typically takes a baby up to 6-8 weeks to learn how to nurse & for both mom & baby to get in sync with each other & for her milk supply to be well established. Any supplementing now COULD have an adverse effect on supply as well as introducing the possibilit of nipple confusion.

I would be most concerned with proper latch & feeding techniques. If baby is not latched on properly, it can effect the amount of milk taken in, the amount of milk produced AND make mommy very sore!

I'd also suggest that she look into getting a baby sling. She'll have both of her hands free while she holds baby & with practice, she can even nurse in it, hands free!!! I have a company called THING-A-MA-SLING & I invite her to take a peek at my site--www.ThingaMaSling.com and if either of you have any questions regarding them OR breastfeeding, I welcome you or her to call me. My number can be found on the site. I'm always happy to try & help!

Alright, so that this isn't any longer or more long-winded, I will leave it at: everything's probably fine, it will NOT last forever, there is GREAT free help available & I encourage her to get some immediately & to start attending La Leche meetings ASAP--they're free & the support is priceless!!!!

Good luck & congrats to both of you!!!!!!!!!

Hi J., my name is J. and I had my first baby at the age of 19. He too wanted to eat alot and I couldn't get anything done, just like your daughter. Here are some suggestions for her problems.

1. PUMP the breast milk out into a bottle. Your baby needs the vitamins and nutrients from the breast milk that they can't get from formula. (Only use formula if your breats dry up.)

2. Cut back and space out the feedings. Just because the baby cries does not always mean she's hungry.(As long as the baby continues to gain weight, the doctors don't care how often your baby gets fed.) Use a pacifire, it's a wonderful thing. Also, don't forget to switch breasts when feeding.

3. STOP FEEDING IF THE BABY FALLS ASLEEP. My doctors told me that after I complained about how much and how often my son was eating. Nice of them to wait, huh?

4. Don't be afraid to call relatives/friends for help. Taking a few hours for yourself isn't going to disrupt the bond between you and your baby.

5. Don't forget to breath. A new baby changes everthing, but that doesn't mean you have to give up what you need and love. (If you can, try to include your new baby in the things you do.)

There are alot of little tid-bits out there to help new parents cope with their new baby. I hope these 5. help you, or anyone you know.

Hello,
I am a mother of 2 beautiful boys aged 9 and 5 now. I can totally relate. My mother didn't breastfeed us either and she had said the same thing. I know what it's like to be absolutely sleep-deprived and frustrated. My problem was my milk wasn't coming in large amouts and the baby was always hungry! The second baby I had the same issue-but I had more experience. At this point your daughter has now trained her breasts (yes trained) to only make small amounts for frequent feedings - she has to retrain them to produce more for one long feeding and the baby also. The baby may be doing two things for the 40 mins. a.)not getting enough milk and suckeling for more. or b) just looking for comfort.
My advice to your daughter. #1 The baby will be O.K. with a little bit of formula. I bought this contraption from a parenting magazine - nobody suggested it I just thought it would work FOR ME. It has a little container to hold formula and two tiny tubes that tape to your nipples. The container hangs around her neck like a necklace. When your daughter breastfeeds not only does the baby get her breastmilk but also some formula. The baby's belly is full and her breasts will be retrained to make enough milk for a longer feeding. Then your daughter can wean the formula during the day and just breastfeed and give a bottle at night if she wants.

#2 A pacifier is not a bad thing. With my first child it was a big no-no and 3 1/2 years later when my second came the lactation consultant gave one to my child. It really helped if he just wanted to suckle, not eat.

#3 Your daughter has to do whatever is good for her. If mommy is happy then baby is happy. Please stress the importance of her eating and sleeping. She needs to nap when the baby naps, and get her lunch together and sit and eat when the baby eats. You as her mother can help your daughter by doing things around the house your daughter may feel she needs to do when the baby sleeps i.e. laundry, dishes, cleaning, dinner. So she can get rest. Trust me sleep deprivation and feeling overwhelmed can lead to a post-partum depression even mild. I KNOW!!!

Happy ending My 2nd child was a wonderful breastfeeder. I realized The dishes and laundry would be there tomorrow. I ate when the baby ate, and napped when the baby napped. Just because a baby cries does not mean she is hungry-but if you give her something to suck on she will.(breast, bottle pacifier). The baby can cry for over 20 mins. while she takes a shower and your daughter is still a terrific mother.
I had to wean at 12 weeks and 2 months later was crying because I had to give it up.

Good Luck! She is not alone!
My mantra to my kids: If Mommy is Happy, Eveerybody's Happy!
P.S. Everyone told me to pump also-It didn't help for me I just never had enough.

Breast feeding is the ultimate sacrifice a mom can make for her children. I am proud of your daughter for doing it! What you are describing (the long hours and no time to do anything else) is VERY NORMAL and something every mother experiences the first two months of a newborn's life. Her depression is probably not from the breastfeeding, it may be postpartum depression.

Children who use formula are more prone to allergies and asthma, and they also do not recieve the antibodies from the mother's bodies to help protect them from colds/sicknesses. If you could encourage her to find a breastfeeding support group, perhaps that would help. Usually by three months, moms are a pro at breastfeeding and it is much less of a hassle than bottle feeding. Also, Breastfeeding will help her loose weight if she sticks with it. When I breast fed, by seven months I was skinnier than I have ever been in my life! When you breastfeed your body uses 500 calories a day, compared to when you are pregnant and your body only need an extra 300 calories a day. This website www.llli.org may help your daughter. It is the La Lecha breast feeding website.

What ever your daughter decides, it does NOT mean she is a bad mother just because she chooses to use formula! Being a good mom has to be someone who does what is best for HERSELF and her baby, not just the baby.

Good luck!

Hi J.,

My son was born on November 24th. I was also determined to breastfeed. The first few weeks were SO HARD!!! I mean, really hard. Little to no sleep, cracked nipples, the works. I would break out in a sweat and cry when it was time to nurse my son because it hurt so badly and I was so tired. I learned that it's very normal for a newborn to nurse up to 12 times a day. Until my son got a strong latch, our nursing sessions would last 45 minutes to an hour and a half. It was exhausting, stressful, and I got the blues - crying several times a day. My husband couldn't really help with the nursing, so I felt alone in my battle, too.

The biggest help I received was from a fellow mom at the Birth Center mom's group I attended. She physically helped my son latch on correctly. I had to "re-train" him the correct latch. Once we got through that, it was a world of difference. I was no longer sore and he was more efficiently feeding. He was three weeks old by this point.

I've stuck with nursing and he's almost 4 months old now. If anyone would have told me ahead of time how hard it was going to be, I don't think I would have believed them. It was a very difficult couple of weeks at the beginning. I highly recommend your daughter see a lactation consultant to help her through this. This book is very helpful, and an easy read, too - "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding".

Does your daughter have help - someone who can make healthy meals for her and to take the baby when she's not nursing, so she can rest? My heart goes out to her. She's certainly not the first mom who's doubted herself. I give her so much credit for sticking to it. That said, she is NOT a failure if she stops breastfeeding. I just encourage her to get help. Once she gets over this hump, life will improve 10-fold. Best of luck!

sounds like you need to start using the pacifier inbetween feedings.
K. B

Poor thing! If she wants to supplement then tell her to go for it. She needs to also take care of herself so she will be happy about motherhood and not dreading it everytime the baby cries.

Hi, My son breastfed 12 times a day until he was 3 months old, which is when we started him on rice cereal. We would have supplemented him with formula, but he refused to take a bottle. It took us a long time to find a bottle he liked. Supplementing with formula would be ideal in this situation, allowing your daughter some rest. Also, my son was a slow nurser initially too. Let your daughter know they get faster with practice. Another thing she can do is buy a sling that she can carry the baby around in. She may need to try a few out to find the right one, but she should be able to nurse the baby while it is in the sling & she should be able to do things while the baby is nursing. I remember I once nursed my son while hanging the laundry on the line while he was in his sling. It wasn't ideal, but it made me feel more independent. (I had the New Native sling, it was okay, but not great. I may have had the wrong size. Also my son was very heavy, over 9lbs at birth and this sling only supports on one shoulder. I recently found the Moby wrap on the internet. I haven't used it yet, but plan on buying it for my next child. I think it will work better. The baby looks more secure in the pictures & the support is spread over 2 shoulders).
Another thing that helped me was having good books to read while nursing & good movies to watch. It helped to distract me from the fact that I was a food factory.
Despite all this I am now sad b/c I'm starting to dry up (my son is now 7 months old). I know I won't be able to nurse much longer & it is sad that it is ending. I do plan on nursing my next one too.
Good luck to you all.

Hi J.!

Congrats on your granddaughter! It sounds like she should get checked for post partum depression, I have nursed my daughter exclusively for the past 5 1/2 months and have been taking zoloft for ppd since a couple days after her delivery. Another thing you should know, your daughter can't skip meals, she could lose her milk if she does because of the amount of calories it takes to make it (usually 500 calories a day) . As for what to do don't think she should feel guilty about supplementing with formula, but if it's possible when I first delivered my daughter, I would feed her in bed and then my mom or one of my sisters would take her, change her, and watch her until the next feeding, they tried to keep her happy for as long as they could before she wanted to eat again. It helped me get some sleep in. I was nursing every 3 hours. It gets better as the baby gets older. If there is someone around who could do the extra work for your daughter it might help until the baby starts going longer without eating. The bigger the baby gets the longer she'll go between feedings. Tell her to hang in there, it should only last a month or two and it goes by faster than you think. Good luck to both of you!

I recommend contacting a local lactation consultant or a Breastfeeding hotline for support and answers. I found these women to be insightful and encouraging when I was new to motherhood and breastfeeding!

Tell her not to give up... I nursed my son til he was three and a half with great support and encouragement from a member of the Le Leche League. I think this may be a similar issue to a problem I had when My son was a newborn. I mis interpreted every fuss for wanting to eat... and I nursed him constantly... one thing about many nursing infants... is that they will nurse even if not necessarily hungry... If you put them to the breast... its a comfort thing...
have your daughter talk to the pediatrician but ONLY if the Pediatrician is supportive of her nursing... Many docs are not supportive of this and will just tell you to stop nursing. tell her dont give up... try putting baby on a schedule of an hour between nursing... or an hour and a half (breast milk is easier to digest so it goes through them faster) give baby a breastfeeding type pacifier if she fusses in between nursings...
put on soft music... and just have someone else hold her (or him) between feedings to give mom a break
while suckling on a clean finger or pacifier. You cannot spoil an infant by holding them often... it just builds a great bond...
so have back up to hold baby while mom takes a break.... a pattern will come of it and it will get easier...
it took me three weeks to get a good pattern down with my son... tell her dont give up.

J.,
in the beginning its hard as both momma and baby get into a rythm of BF. Once her body begins producing the amont the baby drinks in a sitting the frequency will drop. tell her to make sure she drinks plenty of water that will help her increase her production to. Atleast 30 ounces a day. If she begins supplementing and doesn't express milk she will never be able to supply the baby enough as BF is a purely supply and demand function. her body will respond to how much the baby is feeding. She may also not want to switch the baby from one breast to another. at each sitting and just switch between sittings. Some babies don't latch on again properly once they have been interupted and stay hungry.

wishing her all the best. I still BF my son at 15 months an exclusively BF him for the first 7 months of his life. It does get easier. But the first month is always the hardest.

M.

What you are describing is totally normal and appropriate behavior for a newborn. Those early weeks were very rough for me too and I depended on a lot of family and friends to get me through them which was very hard. The best thing to do is make sure that there is always a water bottle at hand and easy food on hand to grab and snack on while baby is eating. If someone is with her, that person should make sure she eats/drinks something (even little) whenever she feeds the baby. There is a HUGE growth spurt at about three weeks when the baby will be wanting constantly to eat and not seeming satisfied. This is normal and how they tell mom's body that they need more milk. Growth spurts occur at approximately 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months.

The first 6 weeks of breastfeeding are usually said to be the hardest. It does get better. All the experts agree that breastfeeding is the best form of nutrition available to infancts so kudos to her for wanting to breastfeed. Has she tried different positions? A lot of moms are able to doze while using the sidelying position. She should follow her instincts and do what she believes is best for her child.

As the little one gets older, she/he will get more efficient and be able to empty the breast faster. The little one will also be able to go longer periods without feeding. Once the baby regains his or her birth weight, and is having enough wet/poopy diapers per day, it's okay to start letting them sleep for longer periods at night. I stopped waking my daughter every 2 hours at about 2.5 weeks. Within a few days she was sleeping 5-6 hours at night which was a godsend. She still has nights (at 6 months) where she's up every 2 hours, but they are fewer and farther between.

The one thing that helped me most in those early days was a Moby Wrap. It's approximately 20 feet of cloth that you wrap around you and tuck the baby into. This allows the baby to be held, close to you, but leaves your hands free. My little girl would fall asleep easily in it. Any time I needed to get stuff done, that's where she went.

Tell her to hang in there. As hard as it is, let anyone who comes by and offers to help do something. Make a list of the chores that would ease her mind - laundry, vaccuuming, loading/unloading the dishwasher and show the list to anyone who asks. My parents drove 300 miles every other weekend for the first 6 weeks to see us and spent a good bit of it cleaning my house. I hated watching them do it, but not having to worry about it was worth it.

I can only give you my experience. My milk didn't come in very heavy(due to long labor and meds and emergency C-section) so my son was not getting filled from me and he also drank for long periods of time. From the time he came home from the hospital and would not sleep the first night, I supplemented with formula because he was not gaining weight and not napping because he was not full. I also nursed and am still nursing and he turns a year this Thursday. I drink Yogi Tea for nursing moms every morning. I have read it is a mental thing to think it works to help production but I don't care because any help is a good thing. She is a good mom no matter if she nurses or not. But my philosophy is that nursing helps your baby stay more healthy because of my nutrients and antibodies and gives a wonderful bond to mom too. Supplementing with formula will allow the baby to fill up faster and allow Mom some time for herself because Dad or Gramma can give the baby a bottle. Tell her to keep her chin up. It will be easier until they cut teeth. UGH. LOL.
M.

I totally understand and was in the same boat a few weeks ago. The baby is cluster feeding to increase the milk supply, Alot of books will tell you it only lasts a few days but for me and a few of my friends it lasted for 1 & 1/2 weeks. Everyone told me it must be your milk or use formula or the baby isn't getting enough. It was really upsetting and not helpful at all. You need to have people around you for support. I felt the same way as your daughter. Let her know it will pass. This can happen at 3 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 3 mos after baby is born. It is hard but she can do it. My dr. told me to supplement with water or formula but I decided against that and listened to my own instincts and just got through it. Tell her to keep her head up. She will get there and then the baby will start nuring less and she can get some more sleep. My baby also takes 40 mins to nurse. Let her know she can write me if she wants.

Congrats! on the new baby. First, please make your daughter eats and help her to stay hydrated. Her mind is fragile right now and needs nutrition and water. Tell her to cry whenever she needs to get it out. Tell her to trust herself and not to feel bad for any decisions she makes. Support her and reassure her regularly everyday. Babies grow up healthy, whether they are breastfed, supplemented, or formula fed. Mother's need support, especially from their family. Enjoy your new grand-baby and good luck with everything.

The early days are really tough until baby and mom achieve supply/demand equality and the baby is about a month old. In the next few weeks feedings should take less time because the baby will eat faster and will not need to eat every 2 hours.

There is nothing wrong with supplementing with formula especially if your daughter is exhausted and worn out. Perhaps she should talk to her OB/GYN and see if she is suffering from post-partem depression. It could be lack of sleep and being overwhelmed but her hormones may also be out of wack and she may need to be treated for that.

I breast fed my first until 8 months and currently breast feeding my second who is 5 months old.

Good luck and please encourage her to supplement. In the meantime perhaps she can pump a little so someone else can take over a feeding time.

I Breastfed all 3 of my kids. Yes, it does take 12 feedings a day, but only in the beginning. With the first baby, my mother constantly would tell me she was not getting enough and I should give her water or supplement with formula. It was confusing since I studied up on this before the baby came and I knew that if I supplemented, it would diminish my milk supply. I spent most of my time with nurse Midwives during my Ob training at Hahnemann, and they were very supportive of breastfeeding. I knew that when the time came, I would choose the same.

Have you checked the prices on formula lately? Very expensive. And now the worries that the formulas are missing key ingredients and we are mixing with water that contains hormones and drugs. (Not that I think the amounts are high enough to cause harm, but how would we know).

Breastfeeding is very portable, very effective and is relaxing for the mother. I didn't get much done for myself, but the feedings space out more as the baby approaches key times; 3 weeks, 3 months, 6 mos. They suddenly start feeding start feeding constantly in an effort to increase the mother's milk supply for a growing baby. The increased frequency lasts about 2 days, possibly 3 and then she will notice that the feedings will decrease. The baby will be getting more milk in less feeding time.

Watch for these moments as milestones and if you live close to your daughter, offer to help with the laundry, bring a few meals, hold the baby while Mom takes a shower and help her go out with the baby to the local zoo when the weather is nice, go to the Mall - just get out of the house. Also, borrow a La Leche league or breastfeeding book from the library and read up a bit so that you can help advise your daughter. Or, find her a Lactation consultant who can stop by and diagnose issues with breastfeeding. It would be good for you to be present if you are going to be in close contact with your daughter. I appreciated my Mother's help immensely.

Also, Have her make breastfeeding her "break time" I always had a novel to read (a real page-turner is best), a magazine or a favorite "chick flick" in the VCR (before DVD era). I would start the movie after settling in with the baby and watch until the baby was done. Then stop the movie and start again in a few hours. (Trust me, I was sad when these moments ended and I had no time to watch movies or read a book! Besides, BARNEY took over the household!) Keep a water bottle next to you so you don't have to get up if you get thirsty.

Now, about the depression. Although ALL of us go through something of that sort in trying to fit the demands of a baby into our life and that it didn't turn out exactly like the fantasy we had before this little one arrived, there are Medical reasons she is feeling this way. The most important is a Thyroid disorder which is the first thing to check before labeling her Postpartum depression and putting her on drugs. The strain of carrying a baby and the sudden hormonal shifts after delivery really tax a Thyroid gland. Even more so in those who may have had Thyroid problems in the past or undiagnosed problems before getting pregnant.

Ladies complain of excessive hair loss about 3 months after birth and it is usually passed off as the natural shedding of hair that never left your head during pregnancy. But One shouldn't be noticing thin spots at their temples and elsewhere and when combined with the tiredness, depression, muddled thinking, I would blame the Thyroid.

The problem is, the tests that the Doctors normally run don't have the proper ranges and sometimes the proper tests aren't run. Here is what everyone with suspicion of thyroid problems needs to determine if they have a problem: Free T4 and Free T3 tests. Normally, the doctor will only run a profile consisting of a total T4 and T3. You must tell them to write down FREE T4 and T3! ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE ON SYNTHROID OR ARMOUR for supplementing their thyroid!!! Total T3 and T4 will not tell you how much hormone is available for your body to use and the results are muddy when you are taking it by mounth. Also, don't take your Thyroid medicine before the blood test, take it after.

The other test that is normally part of the Thyroid profile is the TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone). The range for the normal result is too wide on the labs. Thyroid people feel best when the TSH is 1.8 or less, but the "normal" range on the lab sheet runs all the way to 4.5 or sometimes 5. I start losing my hair and feeling like I'm too tired to do anything when my TSH rises to 2.5 or 3, so 4 or 5 would REALLY be bad for me. YOUR DOCTOR MAY JUST TELL YOU YOUR THYROID IS FINE SINCE THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT A TSH IN THE "NORMAL" RANGE MAY NOT BE NORMAL. THEY GLANCE AT THE PAPER AND IF THERE IS NO ASTERISK OR "HIGH" NOTATION NEXT TO THE LAB, THEY DON'T REALLY STUDY THE NUMBERS. My husband is also a physician and HE doesn't understand these tests. You will have to. Get a copy for yourself and keep it in a binder.

So:

FREE T4 (must be in the high end of normal range)
FREE T3 (must be in the high end of normal range)
T4 or T3 (mostly ignore, not helpful)
TSH (must be less than 2) mine is "0" since I'm on high replacement - my thyoid was removed.

Synthroid tablets (Levothyroxine) have only storage hormone (T4) and no ready available hormone (T3). The body only uses T3. Your body has to convert the T4 to enough T3. This strains the body. Armour is natural desiccated Thyroid and has T4, T3, T2, T1 and Calcitonin. All of which are a better replacement for Hypothyroidism (low thyroid). Almost all Doctors have no idea how to use Armour. They were only taught about Synthroid since that drug does all the advertising. It may not matter if you are on Synthroid if your body successfully converts the T3 it uses from the T4. But it does strain the body's resources to do it long - term and people may start having problems in other unrelated parts of their body over time. I had to switch from Synthoid to Armour since it was allowing body aches and pains, blood pressure problems and Cholesterol problems after years of use. (I was able to stop all the other meds I was taking for those other problems after going on Armour). Some folks cannot convert Synthroid successfully at all. Armour has been around since the turn of the last century and is very reliable. Synthoid has only been approved by the FDA since 2003, but it is never absent from the advertising floor when I go to my Medical conferences. They insist to us that Synthoid should be the ONLY medication we prescribe for Hypothyroidism (they don't want us using generic) and give us pens, paper pads and toys with the pills pictured on it in all the colors of the rainbow!

In conclusion,

1. Study up on breastfeeding so that you are "in the know".
2. Give some help around the house, meals, shower time during the dark periods (3 weeks, 3 mos, 6 mos.).
3. Consider Lactation consultants, (Check yellow pages or call the Bryn Mawr Birth Center for suggestions).
4. Make nursing time, reading or movie time.
5. Get checked for Thyroid problems to control the depression, forgetfulness, etc. Rule out Postpartum depression.
6. We all need to get out of the house, expose her to sunlight. Walk the Mall, whatever.

I hope this helps. If you have any other questions, email me.

Please tell her to find a local La Leche League Group. They will be able to provide her all the support and instruction she needs, in person, and over the phone. She can go to www.llli.org to find the chapter closest to her. In the early days, baby will feed a lot, and this is normal. It's important that she receives support from her family in doing all things non-feeding related -- cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, even diapering, bathing, etc. Let her and baby bond, and they will figure out their feeding schedule as the baby grows a bit! Good luck!!!

I've been there. and the feedings will sometimes be 12x/day and sometimes be 7/day... i found there were lots of seemingly all eating/catnap days and other less eating/long sleep period days... it's a lot about how they're growing and getting into adjusting to a cycle and their body learning to digest.

I never supplemented, but now my sis inlaw is breastfeeding and supplementing and i kind of wished i had. it helps for assurance that the baby is getting enough and for mom to get a break! tell your daughter there is no shame in supplementing and ABSOLUTELY no shame in getting a break for herself! some babies are exclusively formula fed and turn out fine. ANY breastfeeding is a gift for her child and will certainly help with her baby's building strong immunities, etc. she's a GREAT mom just for THAT!

SO... there's no shame in supplementing and if she's not wanting to do that still... The breastfeeding will have its long laborious, get nothing done days... and other days where the bb will give you a break and sleep alot through growth spurts and such!

BEST OF LUCK!

My daughter was born 8/27 and I exclusively breast fed her. She also was a vigorous eater wanting to be fed every 2 hours. By the time one feeding ended I only had 1/2 hour before the next feeding began. Her feedings also lasted a good 40 minutes. Your daughter is not alone. The first month is the hardest. After the first month feedings will be A LOT faster and the time between feedings typically increases. During that first month, I would feed my daughter near a table so that I could eat while she ate. Or your daughter could begin pumping so someone else could feed the baby and the baby will still be getting breast milk. I will say though, sleep deprivation is all too common with newborns and with the drastic change of hormonal level following birth, so too is depresion. I don't think I felt "my self" until 4-6 weeks after delivery. However, I am so glad that I stuck with breast feeding. It is not only an amazing feeling but my 6 month old has never been sick! If your daughter can stick it out for a few more weeks, she will find that it gets a lot easier! That being said, nursing is not for everyone. Supplementing or bottle feeding does NOT make her a bad mom at all. She needs to do what feels right for her, and if she is truly that unhappy then I would recommend pumping or supplementing to give her some relief.

Hi J.,

Breadfeeding isn't easy, and it is common for new infants to nurse all the time. I nursed all 3 of my kids, and it's a hard period of time, hopefully you'll hear from other moms that are going through this right now too and they can help her. She is doing a great thing for her baby, and maybe she can start to pump into bottles and other people can start feeding the baby too. See the thing is when you nurse, it's every two hours, and the baby isn't as full as with formula, which you feed every three hours, which gives you a little more of a break. If she wants to supplement with formula she can, but the baby may be constipated in the beginning. Please tell her, the baby does change and may only nurse every four hours or more in a few months, and babies can sleep through the night, even if you nurse. Tell her to hang in there, and try to pump, hand held expressors worked well for me............instead of the expensive eletric ones....I wish I had know that with my first two kids. Take care, be supportive, I wish her well............E.

I breastfed my son, but I also gave him one bottle of formula each day, before bed. That one bottle gave me a moment to collect myself and do what I needed to do, while my husband fed the baby. My son definitely preferred breast feeding, but he learned that Daddy could feed him formula as well. I'm not sure what your situation is, but my Mom came by for a few days after my baby was born (and after my husband went back to work). She did some laundry and cleaned the house, but more importantly, she watched my son so that I could take a shower and/or take a nap. It seems so simple to nap when the baby naps, but it's suprisingly tough! My Mom was also Queen of the Diapers. If she was around and there was a dirty diaper, she was changing it. If I started changing a diaper, she jumped in. If nothing else, it gave me five seconds to take a breath. You might also suggest that your daughter meet with a lactation consultant (the hospital where she delivered can probably recommend one). The lactation consultant might be able to show her some tricks that will allow the baby to eat more in each sitting, which will in turn allow your daughter more time between each feeding. Just be supportive of her decision to breast feed. It's a great choice and she's giving her baby a wonderful start in this world by doing it.

J.,

I breast fed both my children until they were 15 months old. My son was like your new granddaugter. He was a voracious eater! Your daughter should get a book on breastfeeding or the book what to expect the first year. Make sure she has a baby boppy so she is comfortable while nursing.She might want to purchase a breast pump, so she can store the milk and give the baby to you or her husband to feed. She might consider supplementing one bottle a day, for instance in the middle of the night feedings or before she puts the baby to bed. Have dad feed her and your daughter can get to sleep a little earlier. Also, around three weeks and three months ( check the books) Babys go through a growth spurt and cluster feed, it can last a few days. Make sure your daughter naps when the baby rests forget about the housework! Her mental state is worth more. I learned better by the time my daughter was born. She needs to go for walks the fresh air is good, join a moms club so she doesn't feel alone. She might have a little postpartum( I did,the first time and didn't know it until later). Good Luck!

Dannielle

In my experience the amount of nursing is pretty normal for a baby this new. My son had an insatiable appetite early on. My son ate every two hours on the dot at this age and it did feel as though all he did was eat. Their stomachs are small and breastmilk is such a perfect food that it is digested much more easily than formula.

Eating and drinking are very important and she really should try not to skip any meals. I would make sanwiches and have quick things on hand so that if I was hungry while nursing, I would have a snack at the same time.

Does she wear the baby in a sling? I suggest she find a sling to hold the baby. Sometimes it is the closeness they crave and not always the eating. Also, if she slings him, she may be able nurse while doing other things if the baby is OK with that.

For sleeping, I tried to take at least one nap during the day with him. I usually picked his afternoon nap and we would just nap together.

It will get better. This little guy is still very new. He hasn't had a chance to really develop his own schedule yet. His belly will grow and will be able to hold more food soon.

Does she have any help? I really depended on my partner for help in the early days. He made all dinners and did the chores for at least the first month so that I could focus on taking care of the baby. She needs some help and company so that she doesn't feel so overwhelmed and understimulated.

Congratulations on the new baby and good luck.

I think that every new mom feels this way about breastfeeding in the first few weeks. Newborns need to eat very frequently and each feeding takes a while in the beginning (I have a feeding log from the hospital where we wrote that some feedings took over an hour...). It really gets so much easier after a little while - the baby gets more efficient, the little belly gets bigger so that it can hold more food, and the mom gets the technique down so that it is more comfortable and natural. I have a six month old and am very happy with my decision to continue breastfeeding. I strongly recommend that your daughter go to a local breastfeeding support group, if possible (I went to one at Pennsylvania Hospital) or contact a lactation consultant for advice and support. The La Leche League website is also helpful. It's nice of you to reach out and want to help your daughter. Breastfeeding is well worth it once you iron out the kinks.

It's amazing the pressure moms put on ourselves over breastfeeding. First thing, when I breastfed my first daughter I kept her on each breast way too long (I learned this the second time around). Sometimes the baby falls asleep or relaxes and uses the breast as a pacifier but isn't really eating anything. Figuring out the difference between when the baby is actually eating and when the baby is sleeping or resting only comes from experience. I would suggest keeping a timer and switching sides after 15 minutes. At least that will keep the feeding sessions to 30 minutes (or a little more due to burping). I would highly suggest supplementing. Babies are amazingly adept to switching between breast and bottle. I would begin with breastfeeding (for 10 minutes) and then finish off with a bottle. That's a great way to ease the baby into eating more and should help your daughter get some "down time". It is not abnormal, however, to feel like a milk machine the first month or so...tell her to hang in there - it will get better!

Hi!
Breast feeding is h*** o* Mom's. That's what they don't tell you. It is very rewarding though. The baby is smarter...etc. but has she tried a pasifier? Sometimes the baby has an over-active sucking urges. A pacifier helps. It did with both of mine. As for missing meals, she can actually eat over top of the child. If she is concerned about dropping stuff on her, she can put a blanket over her. Or she can give her the pacifier until Mom is done eating. Mom needs her nutrients too, for herself and for baby. The depression will pass, but she should still tell her doctor she is experiencing it. As for sleep, the pacifier will help with some of that too. I was told by my baby's doctor to test if the over acting sucking urges is what was wrong... stick your finger just inside the baby's lips, if she latches on and does not cry then you know your right. Remember though that she is used to recieving milk everytime. So it may take a couple of tries. You could even try a little milk on the pacifier to get her used to the pacifier. Good luck with it. Im pulling for you. Let me know what happens. My email is ____@____.com. Email me anytime.

You'd think breastfeeding would be the most natural thing in the world. Not exactly! But it is without a doubt the best option for the baby. First thing I'd tell your daughter is don't quit. It isn't forever. Feedings every 2 hours around the clock is about normal. Make sure she's switching sides at each feeding. I'd also have her ask the doctor at the next visit if more often than 2 hours is ok. She might consider pumping into a bottle to see how much the baby is eating at a time. It's also a good idea to give a bottle (either breast milk or formula) every now and then for flexibility's sake.

I hate to say this, but I'd like to Welcome her to breastfeeding!! I remember the first few months were extremely hard.

I personally feel that supplementing can interfere with the breastfeeding process and upset the babies digestion. My one friend actually had no choice but to supplement due to surgery and I do remember her saying her daughter would be constipated for days and she started to lose her milk supply.

So the only piece of advice that I have is that it WILL get better, shortly!

I remember having to eat while I was breastfeeding!

Background: I have 4 children 2 are a set of twins. Each of my children were breastfed until they were about 3 years old.
What is happening between your daughter and her new born is natural. It is call supply and demand. The more the baby demands for a feeding the more milk is being produced in the breast. Mothers who quit and say their breast are not producing enough milk are the ones who do not follow the supply and demand procedure. If your daughter truly wants to breastfeed her baby she has to continue to do what she is doing. Breastfeeding your child is a true sacrifice of self. As her mother you must be there to help her in the things around her home so she does not have to worry about this right now and concentrate on breastfeeding her child. Also make sure she is eating well and receiving plenty of fluids, try to keep her away from fluids with a lot of sugar. Crystal Light would be a good drink to have. Once her breast are filled for her child needs the feedings will decrease until the baby goes through a growth spurt. This is again increasing the supply for the growth of the baby. It does get better. I hope this helps and encourages her to keep it going. She needs help she can do it alone but it makes it alot harder and encourages her to quit. But with a lot of help and encouragement she will accomplish the desire of heart.

I have an 8 month old son and I breastfeed exclusively (no formula). The first 2 months of breastfeeding were very rough for me. My son had difficulty latching, so that was frustrating, and he was eating every 2 hours, also. I tried to follow the book called On Becoming Babywise. What I liked about it was it gave me a loose schedule to shoot for with feedings and sleep. Once the baby is about 2-3 weeks old, the author recommends that the baby eats every 2-3 hours (that means from start to start of each feeding is 2-3 hours apart and sometimes one feeding can be 30-40 minutes). So it does seem like you are nursing all day! A newborn should be eating 8-12 times a day! It is a lot! And breastmilk digests in an hour and a half, I was told, so the baby is hungry again by then. So with the Babywise book, it recommends a rotation of eat, wake, sleep . . . it helps them regulate their day and promotes nighttime sleep. So, when the baby would wake up each day he would eat, then we would do whatever his waketime included for his age and then he would take a nap (all within a 2-3 hour block of time). When he would wake up, depending on how long the nap was, he would eat again and go on from there with "eat, wake, sleep." I liked that part of the book. I didn't like all of it. It promotes having the baby "sleep through the night" by 9-12 weeks old. We didn't push that. And as for feeling like a bad mom, I went through that too. If you have a perfectionist mentality, it is easy to fall into the blues of not feeling like you're doing everything right. The Babywise book was good because it gave me some guidelines to shoot for, but sometimes I would feel like a bad mom for not following them to a tee. Well, you're doing the best you know how!! So, that means your daughter is a good mom! Keep telling her that - she needs to hear it. My son ate every 2 hours until about 2 and half months old. But, I think I could have stretched him to 3 hours earlier than that. It's so hard to know what to do! But I can vouch that after a very rough start to breastfeeding, it will get better! Now I look forward to feedings because it gives me a chance to sit down and relax!! And so many things get easier after the baby is 3 months old - it's true! Keep that in mind. And one of the best pieces of advice I got from a nurse was TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! If your daughter skips meals, then she's not taking care of herself. Drink plenty of fluids and eat up. Nap when the baby naps - that's important! And get help around the house and get someone else to cook some meals. If she really wants to breastfeed, then do it. Don't give up - it will get easier. But that said, do not feel bad if you decide to supplement formula. Do what you need to do to get through. Looking back, there are a ton of things I would do differently with my next child, but that's what happens with the first . . . we just do our best and they love us no matter what! Best of everything to your daughter and newborn! Congratulations!

Hello J.,

I totally understand where your coming from. I went thru the samething with my oldest daughter! The truth is that after about 15-20 mins on one side of the breast there really isn't any milk coming out! Try giving the baby a pacifier after she has fed the baby, she probably just needs that extra sucking. At night time if the baby is sleeping, leave her alone. Don't wake her up to feed her. She will wake up when she is ready. That way you don't get her on a sch. of waking up all night long. And you will get some sleep as well.
What I found helpful as for eating for myself, was to perpare stuff ahead of time and eat while she is eating too. Even if its just a ham and cheese sandwich! Its better then snacking on chips or and other junk. You could even try yogart or jello. Anything to keep you full of something. Depression is really hard. She is doing a good thing with breastfeeding it good for your baby don't give up! Its hard at first.

M.

Breastfeeding is exhausting. Both of my children ate every two hours and my daughter was a really slow eater. If someone can help her it is best to try to eat something like while you are nursing along with lots of water to keep up production. If she is feeling depressed, sleepy and hasn't been eating the baby could be nursing for such a long time because the milk isn't flowing quickly. The better hydrated and feed mom is the better the milk will be. Pumping if she ever gets time helps to. Each month does get a little easier.

Breastfed babies hit growth spurts at 7-10 days then 2-3 weeks and so on. There is a website called K. Mom (www.kellymom.com) that has some good information about growth spurts. I breastfed my son and am now breastfeeding my daughter (born 2-29-08) and just went through that intense constant feeding with her. But, having breastfed before, I know it ends. It becomes MUCH easier and is rewarding. As for your daughter, make sure she has support since this is something she really wants to do. It is possible, lots of people breastfeed. It does take a while to get into a routine, but she will figure one out. The baby is gaining weight, so they are both doing well. If you are nearby, just to have someone hold the baby or make her food and bring her water while she is nursing goes a long way and shows her you support her. One more thing that helped me, my hospital has a breastfeeding support group. A major comonent to success is to be able to get together with other breastfeeding moms and to talk about questions or feelings. See if she has anything like that available to her. Feel free to contact me, or have your daughter contact me. Good luck.

i guess i am just going to reiterate what it seems most moms have already said. this sounds very normal to me. my dd nursed at least as often. i frequently say that i lived topless the month of november after she was born in september. try to remember that our society is not arranged around life that runs on nature's schedule anymore. we expect to be able to control how all our time is spent- whereas before electricity the very rising and setting of the sun dictated people's entire days! breastfeeding is alot like this- no wonder why so many societies offer moms some sort of baby moon period where all that is expected of her is to BE with her baby.

may i suggest a good sling (not that junk from the big box baby store.) i recommend a maya wrap, the ladies that work for them can really help you learn to get comfortable with one and it comes with a video. a sling will allow her to learn to nurse while moving around. it will free up her hands! there is a bit of a learning curve, but it' so versatile that i used mine till my son was over 3 years old- front, back, hip positions- AWESOME! also la leche league would be a great resource. if she attends a meeting she is guaranteed to find someone who has been in the same boat!

as they say, this too shall pass! baby will grow and go longer in between feedings, mom will become a pro- and a relaxed mommy body seems to get the job done more easily. also, adequate night nursing can help decrease the number of day nursing (at least thats what i found.) it's something about hormone levels at night that help with milk production. she probably knows this already, but very frequently the introduction of formula can put the kabosh on nursing. so i congratulate her on her commitment. as much help at home as possible can really help lighten the load as well.

Hi J.. I remember feeling just like your daughter when I was breast feeding my daughter (who is almost 7 now). There were many days when I didn't even make it out of my pajamas because all I could do was nurse all day. Your daughter and the baby are both still learning how to nurse efficiently and that can take time. I recommend that your daughter visit a lactation consultant. They can be very helpful in showing you how to do things right. Your daughter is a great mom for having nursed this long and if supplementing is what she needs to do, there is nothing wrong with that. I will say that it does get easier with time and that as the baby gets bigger,she will spread out her feedings. It is one of the hardest things to do but it does get easier!

I have 3 kids and I breastfed all three. My son(the 2nd child) was doing the same thing he would eat constantly and I was run down and didn't have any time for myself, so I know how your daughter feels. My doctor told me that I may not have been producing enough milk that has the nutrients in it because he was eating so often, my body didn't have enough time to build up the milk that he needed. He told me to breastfeed and then at the next feeding give him a bottle so the next time he ate I could nurse. It worked and our lives went back to some normalcy. Tell her just to hang in there and never think that she is not a good mother if she can't breastfeed, at least she gave it a shot.

One more thing...see if your daughter can pump a bit. That was the only way I got sleep in the beginning. My husband would give our daughter a bottle with an orthodontic NUK nipple and there was no "nipple confusion". And hang in there - the first 3 weeks are the toughest part, and it gets easier and easier. My daughter will be one next week and we're still breastfeeding (2-3 times a day)!

don't give up try to find out if she is making enough milk...my son nursed always and every where and now a very healthy 6 year old...i nursed for a very long time...she will learn to nurse while doing other things and it will get better but if it continues to effect the mental heath of the mother then she would be a great mom by formula feeding because she will be a more patient and happier mother which is better for the child...everyone is different and do not feel bad about it.

I would love to talk to your daughter. I have 3 children and have breastfed them all (one for 18 months, one for 19 months and I am still nursing my third). I have had every problem in the book and I felt like I lived at the Lactation center the first 8 weeks after each baby. Let's talk

She probably needs to see a lactation consultant if she is having problems with breastfeeding. She also should get hooked up with a Nursing Mothers' group (there's one out of Abington Hospital, if you call...and they probably could give you info for nursing mom groups in your area). She'll be assigned a nursing mom advisor or whatever they call them, to answer questions, etc., and to help her cope with all of this. An understanding pediatrician also might help. Ours were extremely supportive of breastfeeding and, if I had not contacted a nursing moms group on my own, would have suggested one for me. (I also used a lactation consultant at the very start with both my kids, as I had trouble with my milk coming in.) A lot of pediatricians are not as well versed, though, so beware! :)

It is quite usual to feed a newborn 12 times a day. In fact, 8-12 times a day is the norm for new babies. As my kids are older now, I cannot recall when it slowed down to less, but I do remember the round-the-clock feedings went on for a while.

The most important thing is that she feel good. If she is stressed, that's not good for the baby or for her. Truthfully, I'm not sure what things she is expecting to get done for herself with a newborn! Some of this may just be being overwhelmed with having a baby. It is new and overwhelming for all of us!

As for missing meals, my husband brought me breakfast every morning. (This actually started when I was on pregnant and on bedrest, and it continued until my oldest started middle school last year and I needed to be downstairs with my husband and daughter, anyway!) Nothing fancy, but it was breakfast...using a bowl of cereal or a bagel with margarine, milk, orange juice. It was on a tray waiting for me. It probably is the only thing that ensured that I got breakfast in me.

Other times my mother actually would feed me while I nursed! Sounds unreal, I know, but my mom, like you, was very concerned about me. I remember how warm the feeling was...I was nursing my daughter in her room, and my mom was spook...actually fork-...feeding me a delicious omelette, as I still was in the early stages of nursing, when I needed 3 hands, let alone 2, to nurse. (Over time I learned to multi-task while nursing!)

The baby is very lucky that he/she has a mom who wants to provide this opportunity to her child. It really is a wonderful, special thing. Just continue to be supportive of her decision, and to be equally supportive in trying to get her some nursing counseling. It will be SO helpful.

I had a lot of problems with nursing at the beginning...for about 5 days with my daughter and, to the surprise of everyone from my lactation consultant to others, with my son a few years later...I had problems for about 9 weeks with him, and tried everything until my milk finally flowed well...but I endured it...and it was very upsetting, especially the 2nd time around for me. I nursed my son for 2 years...he weaned himself about 3 weeks before his 2nd birthday...and my daughter for a little less time. It is a marvelous gift for parents to give their children...and I say parents as a supportive husband also is key...and one that can keep a mom relaxed for a long time...after getting over that initial hump. The baby will start eating less...and less...as he/she starts eating baby food and then table food...but even when it is just 3 or 2 or 1 time a day, it is a guaranteed relaxing, bonding time for mommy and baby.

Cherish these days. These pass so quickly. Nursing was an amazing experience.

Good luck to you, your daughter and your family!

I am a mother of three. My youngest son is 4 months now. I breastfed all of them but with him I was in the same situation, he seemed to be eating all of the time. I was crying a lot, had no time for anyone else or anything else. My sister brought me a bottle and a can of formula when he was 6 weeks old and fed him a bottle and "quit for me." I didn't want to quit I would cry about it, feel guilty, it was ridiculous. He drank the formula, was satisfied and I quit then and haven't regretted it. I loved breatfeeding don't get me wrong but it has to be a healthy balance for the both of you. If you have a baby that has a very healthy appetite I think that breastmilk don't fill them up like formula can, esp. if they're eating so much you're missing meals. If you're not eating well during breastfeeding they aren't either. Your daughter is a good Mom for even trying to breastfeed, and stopping now will not hurt the baby, it may even help to satisfy him longer so she can shower, eat and do all the things that a new Mom needs to do to stay healthy. The most important time to breastfeed is right after they are born, it helps to clean out their systems and her baby has already gotten all that. I would definitely recomend supplementing with formula or quitting now and giving you and the baby's father a chance to bond with the baby at feeding time. It's nothing to feel bad about if you don't breastfeed for a long time, alittle bit at the beginning is better than not at all. She has to take care of herself if she wants a happy baby. I just sat in my rocking chair a couple months ago crying and feeling terrible, my advice is to quit and enjoy letting others help out and know that it's ok to quit, it doesn't make you a bad Mom. A bad Mom is one that doesn't take care of herself too. If Mama ain't happy, baby ain't happy...lol

Don't be discouraged. You are a great mom. You might drink Healthy Nursing Tea by secret of tea that worked great for me. I never had a problem with my milk supply again.

If she isn't sure she has enough milk, then she should try to have a little black beer/stout...something like Guinness. It will help to increase her milk supply. Babies as young as your grandchild can eat about every 2 hours. She/he should not be sucking for more than 35 minutes...most breastfeeding counsilors will say 30 minutes is sufficient. Is the baby latched on properly? Is it every 2 hours all day...or does the baby sleep for a stretch of a few hours or more any time of the day?

Second point...other than making sure she gets enough fluids (along with the guinness she should be drinking a lot of water or fluids...dehydration will mess up milk supply and make you feel overly rundown and depressed) and remembers to eat something herself, at this point she really should not be worrying about doing anything else. In fact for the first 3 months or so, she should just relax and let the baby rule a bit. Enjoy the baby forget housework and everything else...get to know the baby.

I know what you're talking about. I have a 3 month old son and felt the same way. I felt like I was sitting all day and up all night. Any free time meant running to the bathroom, filling my thermos with water, chowing down some food or lying down to get a few z's.

The amount of time a feeding can take may vary from 5 minutes to 40. It is possible that the baby is pacifying herself after getting enough to eat. Your daughter can try to take the latch off and see if she goes back on (meaning that the baby is still hungry). Your daughter should breastfeed long enough for the baby to get the hind milk where the milk is fatty and full of nutrients. This usually comes in after 15-18 minutes (according to The Baby Whisperer book).

It's very important for your daughter to NOT miss meals. She needs the calories to keep up with the feedings. I'm sure she already knows this. The best thing I found was that if anyone asked to help, I would ask them to make or bring food. Or, perhaps you could watch the baby and your daughter can get off her feet and cook a big meal - enough for leftovers and/or cut up fruits and veggies ready to eat. For me it felt good to move around and I was happy to cook only because I felt so sedentary. But, she might want to get sleep instead.

Having a breast pump helped a lot. She can pump 10-15 minutes right before feeding the baby (or until she's "dried" up) and then give it to the baby. Or, to up her supply she can feed the baby and then pump afterwards and store it. Feeding the baby using a bottle takes much less time than breastfeeding.

I wish you and her much luck. It does get better (everyone always says that, but it's true). One thing to be mindful of is to make sure she has enough support and encouragement. She could also have postpartum depression and it's very important that she has a network of friends and family to turn to. Your asking for help is a good and important step.

Good luck!

I know how your daughter is feeling. I had a lot of problems breastfeeding and ended up supplementing. Before she starts supplementing, I suggest she talk to a lactation consultant either through the hospital or through La Leche League. You can check online for local La Leche League contact information. If you are in the Pittsburgh East area, let me know and I can get you an email contact for someone local. Also, I know that locally, our La Leche League has 2 meetings a month. One during the morning to accomodate most stay at home moms and another evening meeting to accomodate working moms and moms who couldn't make the morning session.

It could be that the baby wants to eat so much because the baby is getting ready for a growth spurt. It could be that the baby is not latching on properly. It could also be that the baby is eating and then staying latched on for comfort reasons. It could be a matter of timing the feedings and switching breasts sooner. Also, ask your daughter if the baby is falling asleep on the breast and sucking while sleeping. If that is the case, the baby is probably not getting much while sleeping but is actually using it as a pacifier.

Most important of all, tell your daughter that she has to do what works for herself and her baby. I'm on child number 3. I had problems breastfeeding all 3 of them. With my first, I gave up after 6 weeks. I had milk supply issues and was feeding her on each breast for 20 minutes, then supplementing her feeding with formula and then pumping for 20 minutes. By the time I finished, it was time to start over again. I was so sleep deprived and depressed that I switched for my sanity. My daughter didn't care where she was getting the food from. With my second, I had issues again but was able to stick with it (Thanks to La Leche League!). My son breastfed until he was almost 2. Granted after he turned 1, breastfeeding was limited to in the morning and right before bed. With my third child (a son, now 7 months old), I tried to breastfeed again. He was jaundiced and had to be supplemented because of it. He was one of those children with nipple issues and refused to breastfeed when he could get the formula from the bottle much easier and quicker. With a 3 year old at home, I kept trying for a couple of weeks but he kept refusing. I tried pumping and giving him that. He would take the breast milk out of the bottle but wouldn't breastfeed.

Please assure your daughter that it is very tough at the beginning (something they don't tell you). Also, it is a natural process but it is NOT something women do naturally. We have to learn how to do it. Don't be afraid to ask for help from those who know. Also, tell her that she is doing a GREAT job. The baby is into breastfeeding (since that baby is wants it all the time) and the baby is growing and gaining weight. Now it is time to work out the kinks. Like I said, have her contact the La Leche League (free!) and/or the lactation consultant from the hospital she delivered at (usually free for the first couple of weeks after giving birth). Someone from either place should be able to sit with her and watch her breast feed. They will be able to look at her positioning and the baby's latch on. They will be able to tell her if anything needs correcting and how to correct it. Also, tell her to check out some of the breastfeeding books available at the book stores and through La Leche League. A lot of the La Leche League groups allow those who come to their meetings to borrow the books in their library. Also, check out the La Leche League website.

I would start by switching off each breast after a maximum of 15 minutes. You want to be sure that the baby is getting the fat rich hind milk but I know my doctor said that an actively feeding baby should be getting the lions share of the milk after about 10 minutes. If she feeds 10-15 minutes on a breast and then switches, she may find that the baby begins to empty the breast more effectively. I'm not saying to deny the baby feeding time but if you find the baby is falling asleep before finishing, you want to using your finger to break the latch and wake the baby back up and then continue breastfeeding.

Also, don't be afraid to let the baby cry a little. Your daughter needs to eat properly and get some rest as well. Some of the best advice I got with my first one was to sleep when they sleep. As important is that your daughter needs to eat properly. When breastfeeding (just like when she was pregnant), she needs about an extra 500 calories each day to maintain her milk supply. She also needs to make sure she gets enough fluid. If she doesn't eat properly it can effect her milk supply. This may go against the advice given by most lactation consultants and the la leche league, but if all else fails, give the baby a pacifier. Some babies just need to suck for comfort. If the baby has fed approximately 15 minutes on each breast, then they have most likely gotten enough and just want to suck for comfort. This would especially be true if they fell asleep at the breast. In this case, I would give the baby a pacifier and take care of my needs as a Mom. The baby will be able to wait to eat until Mommy gets something too.

Tell your daughter hang in there if she can BUT to not feel the least bit guilty about supplementing or switching to the bottle if she needs to. With my second son who did breastfeed for almost two years, he was also supplemented because my milk apparently did not have enough calories in it to fill his needs. However, I wouldn't trade that time breastfeeding for the world. And supplementing was the right thing for us in our situation. With my daughter and my youngest son, switching to the bottle was the right choice for each of them. My daughter needed a mom who was happy and not depressed all the time and no one had told me what a great resource the La Leche League could be. The women I have met there are very supportive (they were supportive of my decision to continue breastfeeding and to supplement my son as well). I think if I would have found them with my daughter, she would have been breastfed with supplementation as well. With my youngest, I knew that it was more important for him to have a happy Mom who could care for him and the rest of the family than to try to force him to breastfeed. It still made me sad that he refused and I was still a little depressed about it but I know from experience that he will be happy and healthy no matter what choice we make (breastfeed, bottle feed or both).

Tell your daughter good luck and feel free to have her contact me if she needs someone to talk to. I know that this message has been really long but I hope that it is also helpful.

I breastfed both my children and I can tell you that it happens, you can try giving the baby some formula or water withsome kero-sryup in it or just give the baby a binky, you shoyld also try and eat right, because your milk might not be satisifing the baby. You have to take care of you, so you can take care of the baby ! Lots of luck, Debbie

I am still breastfeeding my 9 month old son. She can still breastfeed and supplement if she wants. I was able to allow my husband to give him a bottle here and there to get some rest. I felt like I was nursing 24/7 in the beginning. I think sometimes they go through a growth spurt and they nurse more to get up the milk supply. She needs to take care of herself most importantly(rest, food, etc.). She is a good mom either way. Her baby is going to love her which ever way she choose to feed her. If she decides to stick with nursing, it does get much easier and better with time. Hope I was of some help.

S.

Hi J., your daughter is not alone. Lots of women can't breastfeed.

I have two children (almost 8 and 10). When they were babies, I breastfed my son for the first few days - I wasn't producing enough milk. With my daughter, she sucked so hard, she gave me blood clots and was getting gassy.

Is this your daughter's first child? If so, she could just not be producing enough milk.

She needs to make sure she is properly hydrated and is eating well also. If she's not eating or drinking, then she definitely will not produce enough milk. It's okay to give the baby a pacifier or something to suck on...the baby can wait a few minutes until she's had something to drink and eat.

One way you can help your daughter, is to make up snack baggies full of veggies, cheese, bologna, and have bottled water or tap water (if she'll drink it) ready for her. I don't know if she lives with you or not, but even helping her to get these things ready will be a lifesaver (if you don't live with her). Every time she sits down to feed the baby, she should have a little snack and some water. This will help a lot.

I am currently breast feeding my second child who was born on 1/18/08. For the first couple weeks my daughter ate every couple of hours. It takes a couple of weeks for your milk supple and baby to adjust to each other. If your daughter has a good supple of milk and the baby is gaining weight then my advice is to continue and things will get better. I think this is very normal for the first month or so. My daughter would sometimes want a little every hour or so. My only advice would be to only feed about 10 mins per side, that should be enough. My daughter is 9 weeks old now and will go about 3 hours between feedings during the day and is up to about 5 hours during the night. When they go through growth spurts they will want to eat a lot more often. I very much enjoy being able to breast feed but it is very time consuming because there is no breaks and no one else can do it. If she really wants to continue my advice would be not to supplement because it will cause her supple to decrease and then it will not be enough to fill the baby. I do promise that it will get better.

J.,
First of all please tell your daughter that she is not a bad parent. When my first child was born, I breast feed for about two months. I also gave him formula in between feedings at times. Believe me it did not hurt him. Maybe her milk isn't strong enough to satisfy the baby. To give her a bottle of formula in my opinion, would not hurt her. My son is now 21 years old and is 6ft.tall!!

Best of luck.

Dear J.,
I am a mom of 4 and my youngest is 7mo. old and I breast fed all 4 of them. Some Dr.s say don't breast and bottle feed b/c of "nipple confusion", but I have never found that to be a problem. The crying and depression will straighten out with a little sleep and the hormones calming down, but right now she could try pumping and using a bottle or formula. Breast feeding is exhausting in general, it takes a lot out of a mom physically, but on the upside it does help take the weight off!!! At this age it's normal for an infant to want to nurse every 2 to 4 hours, but 40 minutes seems really, really long. Try using a pacy and someone else holding the baby, part of it is training even at this early age. Nursing is difficult at times, but she doesn't need to feel guilty, I've been there and done that, it only adds to her stress. To keep up her strength she must eat, missing meals is NOT an option and will take nutrition away from her and her milk. Make milkshakes with milk and yogurt and Ice cream to keep on hand in the freezer if she can't eat right when she needs to, they are rich in things she needs. Tell her to hang in there, I've done this 4 times and the first 3-4 weeks are very difficult, I've wanted to quite many times, but it all evens out. If the baby is changed and fed, it won't hurt her to cry a little (and know it's hard to listen to) while mom takes a min. to care for herself. Baby will soon realize she's okay-if you daughter is nursing her every time she starts to fuss the baby will think the only way to be calmed is by being at the breast, so encourage her to try something else if it hasn't been a decent amount of time since the last feeding. Hope some of this helps! Tell her to take heart-it does get better!! Soon her and baby both will be full of smiles!

Sounds like the way it is supposed to be. Mom gives a lot of herself to the baby especially in the beginning. I fed at least 12 x's a day in the beginning. As time goes by they feed faster as they learn onto suck more. They also need less feedings because they suck more and get more food. Tell her to hang in there no one said raising a kid would be easy.

The benefits from breastfeeding far out way the annoyance of having no time for yourself. I would push the idea of formula out of her head. That is not going to make anything any easier. She's still going to have to feed the baby and warm the bottle and make the food and clean the bottles and hey life isn't easy especially when there's a baby involved.

We co-slept with our baby and still do. Doing that allowed me to sleep more at night. When the baby stirred or moved i knew she was waking up and it would somewhat wake me up. It woke me up just enough to roll over and offer my breast for a feeding. She would eat and I fell asleep during it as did she and neither of else would loose much sleep over it. Everyone makes such a bog deal about sleeping with a baby. I always hear excuses about sleeping heavy blah blah still just an excuse. It works itself out and everyone can co-sleep if they want to.

Tell her to hang in there. All breastfeeding moms went through the same thing. The connection is whats important. You are breastfeeding your child for nourishment as well as nuturing. Sometimes the baby isn't even hungry they just want to feel safe against mom. It's a new born baby time to take care of it.

Hi,

I breastfed all 3 of my children and had 3 different experiences. My first daughter was always on the breast. Like your daughter, my mother couldn't help or give any support because she never breastfed either. I found out later that I was not hydrated enough. So when your daughter starts to feed, at every feeding, have 8ozs of juice or water before and then again right after she feeds. She will have to make it a point to drink alot of fluids and eat often between feedings as well. My first daughter didn't take a pacifier, but my other two did, so if her baby does take the pacifier that will help too. I ended up supplementing with formula (Nestle's Good Start was easiest on her stomach) however, formula can cause the baby to be gassy. When that happened to me, I used Mylicon drops, they were a blessing. At night, I slept with my babies, so we could nurse and sleep longer. After they were 4 mos, I moved them to a crib in my room, and at about a year or so, finally I moved the crib to their own room. Each mom and baby are different, so these are just some ideas. After she has established regular feedings, She can pump between feedings if she needs to, but the body is regulating the milk production right now and that is why she might get engorged and feel the need to nurse. Later, this feeling of engorgement will go away once the body regulates what that baby needs and she might think she isn't producing enough milk, but she is. Lastly, there is an herbal supplement for helping a mother lactate more, and my pediatrician recommended this too, but you/she can ask and research online the supplement called Fenugreek. It's available at GNC and my pediatrician recommended 3-4 capsules 2-3 times a day. I have found with each baby that there is always something new to be learned when nursing. Good luck to you and your daughter and I hope this was helpful.

CONGRATULATIONS ON BREAST FEEDING TO YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!! i breast fed all four of my kids and that is so great. I am just wondering if perhaps her milk is a little thin. She should consult her pediatrician and he can check her milk to make sure it is okay... Good luck!!

Hi J.
I'm sorry that I did not join mamasource earlier. I hope your daughter has been able to stick with the breast feeding. It is such a great feeling. I am the mom of three and breastfed them exclusively for 12 months before I added food. It is a supply and demand issue. I have not read all your responses, so sorry if this is a repeat. The first milk that comes out is thinner and more watery than the "hindmilk" that comes out later. If the baby is feeding too often they never get to have any of the hindmilk and then are hungry and colicky. It is the hindmilk that has meat so to say. If you can get at least an hour between feeding preferably 2 the body can make the more nourishing milk. My first daughter did not suck right and had to be helped to get her tongue working right. The lactation specialist recommended a cranial-sacral massage. Her nursing time cut in half after just one treatment. The trauma of going through the birth canal puts the cranial bones out of alignment just enough sometimes so the jaw needs a little aligning. Nursing went from an hour and a half to two hours to a more managing half to three quarters of an hour with 2 treatments. The most important thing is to encourage her that it will get easier and it is worth it. Get herself and the baby on a schedule( not too rigid)and stick with it.