Breastfeeding and Weaning

The best thing that worked for me when weaning my son was to find something to replace it with. I got him really excited about looking at books and reading before bed, and then each and every night I would nurse a little while then move onto reading a book with great enthusiasm. I would shorted the nursing every night by a few minutes until the last night I only nursed for one minute then went onto the books. He forgot about the nursing and was more interested in reading eventualy.
hope this helps, although every toddler is so different.
But I can say one thing, I never thought I would be able to wean my son, he was such a big nurser...

goodluck

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Hi--It sounds perfectly normal to me! Being 2 is a tough thing--you have so many ideas and want to try everything, but it doesn't always work out the way you thought. It is so comforting to be able to fall back on the one constant you've known since birth--Mom! Since he is only nursing at bedtimes, when he really needs to unwind and relax for sleeping, it sounds like he is already weaning himself. Sometimes distraction will work, or having someone else put him to bed with rocking and a song or story. But you have to understand that this is a huge part of his life and he is reluctant to give it up. This is when he gets his batteries recharged on love because he's been busy all day learning new things. If you can just be patient and let him lead the way, I'm sure it will be easier on both of you. I know people who have used the vinegar route, but to me it seemed like ending something beautiful on a sour note. I have 4 children and all were nursed well past 2 years, but each was different. I can understand the feeling of wanting your body back, but in the grand scheme of things, this really is a short time. Once it is gone and done, you may find you miss that special closeness that nursing provides. I'm sure this was not the answer you were seeking, but I hope that you'll think about what I've said. Best of luck to both of you!

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Dear N.
The old saying out of mind out of sight. Everytime your son goes to pul on it to be feed your best bet is to tell him NO!. Say it in a very demanding voice and look him right in the eye. Do not blink and mean what you say. He is going to cry and let him. After awhile he will get tired of crying and be ready to go to sleep. If you allow him to cry and throw his fit. And in the mist of his crying give him a bath. Ten to one by the time your drying him off that young man will be to tired to even put up a fight. N. you have to do this. He is way to old to be on the nipple. Patience is a virtue it's in the bible. and Most of all PRAY. God will help you and see you through this. Just keep giving him that sip cup. I'm a sinlge mom of three and I did it. so can you

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Hi N.,

My first was also into using me as a pacifier! She would only fall asleep when nursing and if she woke up while trying to slide away from her she would not settle again till the breast was re-attached.

The thing I did was switch to the bottle using breast milk and have my husband feed it to her. She hated it at first!!! And after about 20 minutes of nonstop crying either I would cave or my husband would get a headache. It took about a week till she would take the bottle consistantly and we did not try it every night. A couple of rules with this too is that you have to be OUT OF SIGHT prior to this bottle attempt. If he even sences you in the room or smells you close by it will not work. He is two too so he will not be fooled very easily. You have to be a little sneaky and the bottle feeder has to know how to make the bottle and have patients. Switch to warm milk when you can and then eventually he will take a milk bottle every night. The nap feedings...you are just going to have to feed him solids before his nap time and know that he is full and does not NEED to nurse and put him down crying for his nap.

You have to stick with it and be strong! Good luck!!

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I know it's hard but you just have to stop. No means No...don't let him train you, that as soon as he cries you give into him. He's old enough to stop. It might take a few days of crying but don't give in.

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The bond shared in association with breastfeeding cannot be replaced or duplicated in life, that's what makes it so hard to give up. I can only offer that I had to go away for a couple of days, actually it was only one night, two days. When I came back home it gave me the assurance that my child would be alright without me breastfeeding her (not that it was not a long, long, long night for daddy) and I was able to be more affimative in telling her , "no." I offered her vanilla soymilk at room temperature (you could try adding vanilla to regular milk) which is a bit more sweet than plain cow's milk and it was only offered to her as a substitute for wanting what we called, " mommies milk." It took my one child about 1 month of vanilla soymilk before she would take plain cow's milk. My other child took about 2 weeks.
There are other moms who proudly breastfeed their babies till 3 and older but in this case it sounds more like you're ready and that's the bottom line. Have faith and confidence in your decision.

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Hi N.!

Well my daughter was the same way and I SO REMEMBER being in your shoes right at the same age 2 yrs old. She'd NEVER taken a bottle even of breast milk!! Only sip cups with juice and water during the day, the ONLY way to get her to take a nap or go to sleep at night was to nurse her!!

Well, at 2 yrs 3 months I went to the OB-GYN for an annual check up and I was complaining of her using me for a teething ring (half way serious, half joking) and the Dr. said, "let's see if you're pregnant", I laughed hysterically... as he came back into the room (I think I was still laughing) he smiled and said I was in fact pregnant!!

He told me that I could continue to nurse her until later in the pregnancy but my thinking was NO WAY! I needed to get her weaned and sleeping in her own bed for selfish reasons! I'd need my rest at night being pregnant and trying to keep up with her all day as an active 2 year old!

With the help and support of my husband, friends from my Mother's Club and family, in less then 2 weeks she was weaned and sleeping in her own bed at night for the first time!! What a relief!!

She's now 9 1/2 years old...there's never been any emotional scar left by what at the time seemed like a VERY traumatic thing to put her through!!

In short it can be done, your little guy will do just fine...you have to stay strong! Surround yourself with support and you'll be successful!!

-L. O.
Danville, CA

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He is just nursing in the evenings and at nap time? That seems pretty normal to me. He is tired and seeking closeness, cuddling, comfort and nutrition.

Do you want to wean because you *think* you should? Or because you are honestly OVER it, find it physically uncomfortable, etc.?

I nursed my older son until he was 2.5, when I was about 5 months pregnant. It had become physically uncomfortable, my milk had dried up, and I was ready to stop.

What I did was this...I allowed him to nurse at the usual times for as long as it took me to (slowly) sing the alphabet. Then I told him that nursing was over and we would cuddle. If he wanted more milk he could have it in a cup, but most of the time he was perfectly happy cuddling with me. I sang to him and told him I loved him and held him in my arms and rocked him.

I also told him that he was a big boy now and he didn't need so much milk, just a little tiny bit. Just "ABC milk" as we called it.

As time went on, it became more of a ritual than actual nursing. He stopped expecting milk, since he wasn't getting much in that 1-2 minute period.

One day I just said, "Oh, we don't need to do ABC milk. Let's just cuddle. I want to cuddle you NOW and not do ABC milk first." He was fine with that.

I was shocked a few months later when I teasingly asked him if he wanted milk and he acted like he was disgusted by my breast. Whoa! He was really over it, for sure. And this was the kid that I swore would still be nursing in high school! :-)

So my suggestions is to keep reducing the time spent nursing *per session*, and up the cuddling and closeness. Set a timer, or sing a song.

But if you are just stopping because you feel you *should*, no worries. I personally thing that 2 is a very normal age to still be nursing. Two year olds are practically little babies still! Mine is now a big 4 year old with a 1yo baby brother, and the time has FLOWN by. His little two year old self seems so little now. :-)

L. Hamilton
http://www.theportablebaby.com

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