Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby

Updated on June 19, 2008
S.B. asks from San Jose, CA
31 answers

My husband and I are adopting a baby. The baby will be born at the end of August. I heard that adoptive mommy's can breastfeed if they prepare themselves before hand. I really want to breastfeed this baby. Do any of you mommy's have any experience in this? Any advise would be great! Thanks!

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T.W.

answers from Sacramento on

I know this really great midwife that can help you breastfeed an adopted baby she has done it many times before. If you are interested let me know and I can get her info for you.

T.

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S.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you looked into La Leche League? They have chapters everywhere and have been around for years. Their whole goal is to help all mothers successfully breasfeed their babies (whether adopted or not).

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K.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,

I am currently breastfeeding my adopted daughter, and previously breastfed my older daughter (also adopted). I'd love to talk with you about this! Please feel free to email me: ____@____.com if you choose not to, know that the Newman-Goldfarb protocols for induced laction are the best place to start (you'll find them at some of the websites people have recommended). But they do not need to be followed exactly for you to produce some milk. You have a lot of options as to how to go about this! And it has the potential of being absolutely amazing!

Good luck!
K.

4 moms found this helpful
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Z.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Good luck with your new bundle of joy.
Everyone in my family always breast fed, so I was ill prepared for when my body didn't want to play along. Some tips I have:
1) get this perscription drug "Reglan"
http://www.breastfeeding.org/articles/reglan.html

2) Studies have shown that hydration works for mother's producing prolactin, but some of the herbs people will tell you? DONT. Google up the side effects and you will find they only make you anemic. (fenugreek)
You will find people are happy to sell you tinticures and teas with the stuff at high prices, but it's just drinking all the fluid is what is working.

3) Eat enough. Trying to diet will shut down the production of prolactin. Decongestants and many birth control pills as well.

4) interview a LOT of lactaion centers. I met some real evangical nuts who give breast feeding a bad name. It's the bad apples that are the loudest, and looking for newbies. The dangerous thing is not just what they do to your self estem, but put the life of your infant at risk. One I met at a top medical school tried to give me advice (sugar water) that would have put my jaudiced daughter into ER.

My daughter was happy to nurse on anyone with a good supply, but no supply and smelling of fenugreek pissed her off to no end.
anyhow, you can tape an SNS to your nipples
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/breastfeedi...

so that baby doesn't get angry with your low supply. Then baby will get some forumla as you build your supply with baby's nursing stimulation.

now all that said? My daughter just graduated from kindergarten (age 5.5), and reads like the end of first grade. She is one of the top performers in math, science, and music. (She plays classical guitar and does martial arts). Her BMI is 14 (slim, her ped is just required to note it on the form).
So as far as I am concerned, Enfamil Lipil does NOT make them fat and stupid, which I was REPEATEDLY told my daughter was doomed to. I wish I could find some of those mean people now to show them her report card.

Quality nutrition is important, but there is SO many places you can put your "good parent" energy into. If you can't breastfeed, there are PLENTY of other venues to be a great mom. Formula may taste like toxic waste, but I followed "breastfeeding for 2 years" guideline for my daughter, and she is more than fine (even when she ate solids, I supplimented like my bf friends nursed).

GOOD LUCK and SLEEP NOW before your life gets busy ;-)

3 moms found this helpful
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R.Y.

answers from San Francisco on

Congratulations!!! We adopted our son 8 years ago and I couldn't find much information on adoptive breastfeeding at that time - even the lactation consultants at our local hospital didn't know anything (I felt I wouldn't have the support I would need, so I didn't try). I would like to suggest this website where you can hear from other women who've done it: http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f...

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi--Congratulations on your pending adoption! Yes, you are correct that adoptive moms have been able to nurse their babies. It takes a great deal of effort and the end result is that they can produce some milk, but usually not enough to make that the sole source of nourishment for the infant. Women who do it though are looking more for bonding and this part really does work. I'd suggest you contact a lactation consultant who has worked with adoptive moms before. You can locate one through their organization at this website: http://www.ilca.org/falc.html

You will probably need to get an electric breast pump and also an adaptive feeder such as the Lact-aid. Here is a link so you can see what I mean.
http://www.lact-aid.com/
I also found this website with info about adoptive nursing

http://breast-feeding.adoption.com/
Best wishes to you and your new baby!

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D.C.

answers from Fresno on

I highly recommend visiting www.asklenore.com. You'll find answers to all your questions. Congrats on your adoption and good luck with inducing your lactation!!

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V.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Congrats! Nursing your baby can be a wonderful bonding experience even if you do not develop a full supply through induced lactation, what a wonderful thing to want to do for your child.

Here is a great page with a list of resources that you might find helpful. Also, you can check out the breastfeeding forums at Mothering.com for more advice from moms who have experience with relactating/inducing lactation.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/adopt/relactation-resources.html

best of luck to you!

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K.J.

answers from Sacramento on

If you have previously breastfed, but you need to get your milk supply back up to par.

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A.E.

answers from San Francisco on

A good friend of mine swears by domperidone. She said it's expensive and you have to order it, but worth every penny. It's not approved here in the US yet, but it's been used in Europe for years. There's a similar drug that is US appoves, but the side affect is depression. Good luck to you and CONGRATS!!

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R.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Congratulations! I am just reading a very helpful book on breastfeeding recommended by both of my sisters. I noticed that there is a chapter on special situations such breastfeeding your adopted or surragate baby. The book is called The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins, RN, MS.

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A.W.

answers from San Francisco on

After reading some of the other responses, I am reluctant to add my two cents worth. But I decided to throw caution out the windoow and go ahead. I breastfed a child care baby. I had been working for this lady already when the second child was born. I talked with her about the baby being born and the fact that she successfully breastfed the first child while working full time. I actually had the equipment needed to feed the baby, and she worked in a hospital so was able to go to the nursery a couple of times through the day and pump. We were concerned that with her leaving the baby with me so early, that she might refuse to breastfeed because the bottle was so much easier. So from the very beginning, I breastfed this baby girl with her own mother's milk. And it was a great experience for me. I probably nursed her for about five months. Then she switched to bottles while with me and continued to nurse from her mother the rest of the time.

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A.K.

answers from San Francisco on

You've gotten some great advice I just wanted to say congratulations and let us know how it works. I think its great that you're trying this. I hope it works well for you and your new baby

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K.O.

answers from Redding on

Hi S.,
I don't have personal experience with this but have read about it. I've read that there is a special set up where you have a container of formula, or donated breast milk and two tubes run from it over your breasts. The baby suckles your breasts and receives nourishment from the formula coming from the tubes, and in the mean time stimulates your breasts, which, ideally, and with determination, should eventually stimulate them to lactate. Maybe try contacting a lactation specialist to help you prepare before your baby arrives. They may have devices, and methods that can help you get started, as well as the set up I mentioned. Good luck! I hope this works out for you.

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T.C.

answers from San Francisco on

It is possible for an adoptive mother to nurse her child. Please contact a reputable Lactation consultant for advice NOW. You will barely have enough time to prepare (need about 2 months). There are no guarantees, but it is worth it to try. Even if you cannot completely breast feed, you can supplement and still have the closeness that breast feeding provides.

The way I suggest involves NO medications or supplements. Just get a breast pump and pump for 10-20 minutes each side 4-6 times a day until you get the baby. Date and freeze any colostrum or milk that you get out in a 0 degree freezer (keeps for 6 months or 24 hours after thaw). Use a Medula or other high quality pump (mother's milk banks usually rent for reasonable price). I got mine with double suction so that I got done in 1/2 the time. Good luck on this great adventure.

-T. Mother of 1 bio and 2 adopted children

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A.D.

answers from Modesto on

Hi S.,
As I do not have personal experience with this because my adopted child came quicker than expected, but I have done a lot of research about it. There are pills you can take that help stimulate the breast milk. You need to start now though to prepare your breasts. Your breasts may not produce enough milk for the baby, so there is also a backpack that you can fill and attach a small tube over your shoulder and then to your nipple so when the baby suckles they suckle from the nipple and tube. Ask your doctor about it, they should be able to assist you or send you somewhere to go. Good Luck!

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't want to sound negative, I think it is completely wonderful that you are adopting!! My husband and I have tried to adopt twice before and the last time we thought we were in the clear because the birth mother has 30 days from the birth of the child to terminate the adoption. We only had been with the baby for 17 days and the birth mother took her back. It is extremly devastating and I just don't want you to prepare your body for this and have something like this happen. All the best with this new bundle of joy.

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N.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Congratulations. I think it is wonderful you want to breastfeed. I wanted to let you know that if you are not able to, there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding your baby. You are probably, like most woman want to, really bond with your baby, but bonding is not just about the breast. Bonding is about holding your baby and looking into his/her eyes, being there when they cry out, making them smile. Both my children were/are bottle fed and the experience is wonderful. My husband can share in the feedings, I actually can sleep a little, as well as, not have to worry about lactating all over my shirt;) Breastfeeding is such a wonderful thing and I do think that if you can you should. If you can't, just know that it is okay and you are not less bonded with your child or less than a mother. I only feel bad when women say, "oh, you are not breastfeeding" and then frown at me. I ususally respond by saying "no I am not and look how happy and beautiful she is." Good luch and take care.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi, A friend of mine took milk thistle and it helped. I am not saying to do it, but look into it and make your own choice. I wouldn't tell anyone to take something without looking into it first. This is just something I heard. I would ask professional help from someone which I'm sure other ladies have mentioned. Good Luck

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

S.,

Congratulations on your new baby's arrival! I am not sure how you would prepare yourself to breastfeed, but I think that maybe La Leche League could possibly help. They are a breastfeeding support/activism group that are "experts" in breastfeeding. There are local chapters everywhere- give them a call. Or you could contact the adoption agency and ask them for help. I'm sure you are not the only one wanting to breastfeed your child. Hope this helps and congratulations!

Molly

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A.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Yeah, I would get an rx for domperidone if your OBGYN or PCP will write it for you, and order it through canada. You can also get it through Thailand without an RX (2 pills a day for 3 months is roughly 60 bucks the last time I bought it.) It causes fewer depression side effects for post partum women. However, if you are adopting, probably reglan would be just fine? Both drugs are given to people to empty their stomach prior to surgery. Domperidone was developed for NICU babies according to my LC, but was banned from the US market (still available in the UK and all other countries). Reglan and Domperidone both have the additional benefits of increasing lactation if the right hormones are present. Like immediately. It might help to make your body "feel" pregnant for awhile before actually taking it. But once your milk is in, it's in, and you won't need the meds anymore. You will lactate forever, apparently (my kid is nearly 3 and my milk took 2 weeks to come in with meds, and now won't stop.)

Talk to your OBGYN about tricking your body with hormones. I think some bcp's will create the effects of hormone withdrawals post partum, especially if you are taking something like domperidone to stimulate prolactin.

Talk to a lactation consultant early, but you would probably start taking dom about 2 weeks before the baby is due to prime the pumps. Also, rent a hospital grade electric pump. That might even help stimulate milk production.

Anything that you express you can freeze for later, colostrum can be given in a tiny medicine cup if you make that before the baby arrives and you don't want to put it in a bottle.

There is also a weird contraption that you can attach to your breast that "drips" milk over your nipple to train your baby to latch and suck, and apparently doing this will also stimulate breast milk, however, my mom breastfed me and adopted my sister. When she tried this contraption in the early 70s, it did not work. So, I can't really recommend, but yeah, it would be profiled on Kellymom.com or LLL's website.

Congratulations!!!!!

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L.F.

answers from Sacramento on

yes, it's possible, just as it's possible to start re=lactating to breastfeed after u have stopped for a lengthy period of time. need to use a strong hospital grade pump and go for at least 2wks of every 2hrs for 20-30min. takes about 10days for anything to start coming out, but persistence can pay off! i did this and it worked. LaLeche recommended herbal stuff but i didn't go that route. good luck!

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.

Congrats. I have worked with clients who are trying to relactate, not the same as an adoptive mother but similar. Contact La Leche League they have great information about breastfeeding adopted babies, Find a good Lactation Consultant that can help you navigate the issues and techniques around breastfeeding and also using something called a Supplemental Nursing System, and can set you up with a hospital grade brest pump. You will want to begin pumping soon.

Good luck it is a wonderful idea!

T. mclean
Studeent midwife, Birth and Postpartum Doula

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

S.-
Congrats! My husband and I adopted our son (at birth) 13 months ago. What a joy!!! Unfortunately, we meet the BP's just 2 weeks before our son was born, so I didn't have time to prepare my body to breastfeed. I really wish that I could have. Also, (and I am sure that you already know this) in response to S. S's response below...each state has different adoption laws!!! We adopted from Indiana. The BP's had two choices before they could be release from the hospital. 1. Terminate their rights or 2. take the child with them. Needless to say, they terminated when our son was a day old and that was that. No turning back! I wish you the absolute best of luck! Adoption is such an awesome experience...as is parenthood!

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K.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't know where you live, but Good Samaritan Hospital in Campbell has a breastfeeding support group in the auditorium on Wednesday each week (at least that's when it was when I went there 2 years ago). I remember what a great resource those women were. I would recommend starting there. You can call the number for their maternity store and they should be able to refer you to one of the woman who I know had some good knowledge about prepping for breastfeeding without having the baby. You can also call Harmony Birth Center in Campbell (they have a website) and look up Bay Are Birthing Info (BABI) on-line for resources to help you with this. The midwives and doulas and other breastfeeding specialists are all tied into these places. I wish you the best n getting the info you need...that would be such an amazing gift to your adopted child.

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J.N.

answers from San Francisco on

Congratulations on your upcoming adoption! And congratulations on giving your baby the best start by breastfeeding!

Yes, you can breastfeed. Some adoptive moms are determined to develop a full milk supply for their baby - this CAN be done. Others relish the closeness of the nursing act, and don't worry as much about the amount of breastmilk the baby receives. It is your decision how much effort you want to put in. (Of course, I want babies to get as much breastmilk as possible.)

I am a retired IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) and R.N. In my practice, I dealt with only a few adoptive moms, but I saw that it does work. I recommend the sources below.

You may also want to look for an IBCLC who has experience with adoptive moms. The cost of your consults, if not covered by insurance, is worth the amount you will save not only in artificial baby milk (formula), but in a healthier baby. Every bit of breastmilk is like gold to your baby.

Good luck.

Sources:

"Breastfeeding the Adopted Baby", a book by Debra Stewart Peterson, is available through La Leche League - either online or through a local leader.

Websites:

http://www.llli.org/FAQ/adopt.html
Can I Breastfeed My Adopted Baby?

http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/adoption.html
Breastfeeding the Adopted Child

http://www.fourfriends.com/abrw/
The Adoptive Breastfeeding Resource Website

http://www.asklenore.com/breastfeeding/abindex.html#adopt...
Protocols for Induced Lactation

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/1ABSupportGroup/
yahoo group for Adoptive Breastfeeding Mothers and Mothers to be

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J.T.

answers from Fresno on

My sister-in-law breastfed her adopted child, with some help from some other lactating mommies who gave her some supplemental breast milk (myself included). I can ask her if it would be okay for you to contact her so you can talk. I think it is so great that you are wanting to do this for your child...it's a really big deal! Good for you! Write back if you'd be interested in talking with my sister-in-law, or if you have any specific questions you'd like me to ask her for you. Oh, by the way, I don't know if you're from Fresno or not, but she got a lot of support from her pediatrician, Dr. James Kratzer. I hope this goes well for you! God bless you!

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D.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Is this your first child? I know nothing about breastfeeding an adpoted baby, but I just wanted to tell you how AWESOME I think it is that you are getting this wonderful bundle of joy!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I am sure this site will help you get all the info you need with your question!

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I have heard if you start pumping now you may stimulate your breasts to start making milk (I work in a hospital and have seen adoptive moms do this). Then when you bring the baby home, if needed, you can use the supplemental nursing system (SNS) to ensure the baby is getting milk (formula) while stimulating your breasts to make milk as well. My understanding is that this help some moms start to lactate, but not always.

Hope this helps.

Good luck and congratulations!

Jen

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B.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't have exact experience with that situation except that I did donate breastmilk to my cousin's adopted baby and even breastfed him once or twice and he did well. I know that they thought of doing that, having the mom do the breastfeeding, but for some reason she couldn't. I do know I have also heard that it can happen. My best advice is to try contacting the La Leche League in your area, I'm sure they'd be very helpful. I think it has to do with stimulation and possibly hormones, but I'm obviously no expert! Congratulations on your imminent parenthood!

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