Breastfeeding - Marlborough, MA

Updated on May 28, 2009
J.E. asks from Marlborough, MA
58 answers

So I've mad a request about breastfeeding before and now I want to know what other breastfeeding moms REALLY think!?! :) Please tell me all of the pros and cons you've experienced as a breastfeeding mom. Please tell me how your hubby's feel? Are they feeling left out? Please tell me is it soooo great, or just eh'!?! I did not breastfeed my first two children, I am considering trying it out with our third who is due in Nov. I am trying to make a really informed decision about it and I of course do not want to jump "all in" with out hearing from my most wonderful resources. :)
Thanks in advance, J.

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So What Happened?

Wow! Thanks so much for all of your responses. It's overwhelming the amount of support one can find on Mamasource. I thank you all for your thoughts and opinions. It just didn't work out with my first however I was very young and thought that it was something that would just happen and we also found out neither of us were doing it correctly which didn't help matters out at all, so I X-ed the thought right out of my mind when the 2nd came along and there wasn't a chance of me attempting it after the first terrible experience I had. Now pregnant with my 3rd, I think it's definitely beneficial for me to look into and get as much information as I can about it to make an informed decision. Bottle feeding both of my girls, we bonded greatly, they are healthy, not overweight, etc. however I do understand first hand how inconvenient it can be to have to prepare, wash, and warm bottles and also how expensive formula is...we'll see, I will be sure to update you all and let you know what we decide. :) Thanks again.

**Just to touch on a few comments, I do not think nor do I feel that I will be or am sorry that I didn't ever breastfeed my other children, to say that is really downright mean actually, I do appreciate positive feedback and do not want to hear how formula fed children are less better off, both my girls are smart, great, and no less better off because I chose to bottle feed them, so please only send out positive messages to me in regards to this question. I don't need to be "attacked" or put on trial for not BF my first two children. Thank you.

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L.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.:

Congratulations! I breastfed my son who is now 2 and am planning to breastfeed the next child, due in December. For me there were no cons, only pros. My son latched on right away and was really healthy for the first year until he attended day care. I also took off my pregnancy weight very quickly within 4 months. He and I are really bonded. Actually, I continued the breastfeeding longer than I thought I would (for 15 months). We also saved a lot of money. When I needed a break, we did supplement with some bottles of formula and pumped breast milk. My husband didn't feel left out because when it was time for a bottle, I let him feed the baby. Good luck:)

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M.G.

answers from Boston on

I breastfed my daughter and it was a great experience. I was pretty despondent when she started weaning at 15 months :-) It instantly soothes the baby when she is cranky which is so useful. In the beginning it does take a month though for the nipples to get used to it. And get ready for the whole responsibility of feeding to fall on you!

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S.S.

answers from Boston on

Lots of plusses and minuses, but like a previous respondent, I'll cover some of the negatives since plenty was said about the positives. I ended up nursing our now 12-year-old son for the first year of his life. It was well worth it but it was bumpy at the start.

I thought I'd love nursing (which I eventually did), but for the first month or two, I kept saying, "They SAY I'll learn to love this and it will be worth it...." But in the beginning, I wasn't so sure. It was all-consuming.

My nipples were raw (my sister joked that she used her breathing techniques for nursing more than for the birth itself); I had mastitis periodically (infection of the milk ducts); my breasts were the size of large grapefruit or bigger; if I was late for a feeding, I leaked all over the front of my clothing if I wasn't properly prepared; sometimes I just didn't want to be needed as often as I was needed (did I just say that?!) and I just wanted some extended time that was just for myself. Plus, it wasn't always totally intuitive to me and I felt inadequate when people would say "I just LOVED nursing." Is that enough of a rant? Oh, wait, one more...I had an emergency C-section so I was also recovering from the surgery which made it hard to sit up and hold my precious little bundle.

That being said, I also learned lots of tricks to help with those problems.

SORE NIPPLES
My nipples were raw, cracked, bleeding, etc. in the beginning...our son was a voracious nurser right from the start. My sister later said it helps to gently rub your nipples with a washcloth before your baby is born so that they get used to more activity. (NOTE: I still remember when our son was first brought into me to nurse. I said "Hello, little one." and he turned his head to figure out where that familiar voice was coming from! : D )

Had I known what I was getting into, I think I might have bought the double-breast pump earlier and expressed milk right from the start to give my nipples a break on occasion.

MASTITIS
Warm baths and showers help a LOT to soothe the pain. Manually expressing milk during your shower can help clear out the ducts and infection. But it's kind of funny squirting breast milk during your shower. Nothing like adding to the entertainment of life.

GRAPEFRUITS
I guess that's an individual thing. I swear they almost doubled in size! I was known for producing very rich, profuse amounts of milk at the daycare. We joked that I should sell it in bulk! I'm sure there could have been a market for it!

LEAKAGE
I bought a ton of nursing pads--cotton lined to absorb, waterproof material on the other side to protect my clothes. (Skip the disposable ones. Too expensive in the long run and not always as absorbant.) And not all washable nursing pads are equal. The slightly contoured ones worked the best for me. I could wash my pads to my heart's delight and have them at the ready any time I needed them. They were a godsend! Sometimes they leaked, if I was flowing too freely, but in general they worked like a charm.

NOT WANTING TO BE NEEDED THAT MUCH
You have to remember this was our first and ultimately our only child. I just wanted uninterrupted sleep, to finish a project, or to read a book without interruption, and...did I mention sleep? You're already aware of what being a parent does to your free time, so that may not be an issue for you. : )

At about 6-8 weeks or so, I started pumping with a breast pump so that I could save some milk for my husband to do some night feedings. He was a saint! He always woke up much better at night than I did. (And we had our secret weapon...Mr. Clock...a old-fashioned wind-up clock that did wonders for putting our son back to sleep.)

I quickly learned that a single pump was not going to work. I'd start pumping one side and the other side would start flowing. I eventually bought a Medela Pump-in-Style breast pump. It is a double pump so you can express milk from both breasts at the same time. Those things were brilliant!

Sometimes I had to chuckle because I kept imagining the sound of milking machines in a cow barn. To this day, I remember the sound of the pump. But it was totally worth it. And your health insurance, if you have it, may kick in for some of the cost. The pump is not exactly inexpensive but it is TOTALLY worth it!

The pump helped me to get a break on occasion or to go out on an errand on my own (gasp!), knowing our son had lots of yummy mommy's milk at the ready. Plus, it gave my husband a chance to bond wonderfully with our son as well. It even gave me a rest if I had plugged ducts and I could feed him with the bottle. And it helped when my breasts were ready to bust but our son was sleeping.

FEELING INADEQUATE
I truly came to love nursing and found it easier and cheaper than formula, but you couldn't have convinced me of that in the beginning.

We smile about it now, but my husband and I actually got into arguments about the "right" way to nurse--what angle was best, was our son getting enough milk, too much milk, etc.? What classic first-timers we were!

When I would be somewhere other than home, it felt like such a production, when pulling out a bottle seemed so much easier. However, I learned through time that it really was easier--no clean water source to find, no storage issues, just stop the car and nurse, then merrily continue on your way. (But I was never one of these people who could go without a bra. Small-breasted women could probably skip the bra, making the nursing thing a lot easier--no unhooking and rehooking the bra to contend with.)

C-SECTION
When I first started nursing, I was still recovering from my c-section. It was hard to sit up without discomfort, it was hard to switch positions without pain. Call me a wimp, but I'm lucky I had help in the beginning for setting up pillows, etc. Eventually, we figured out a system that worked well. I would sit in my husband's grandfather's old leather chair. It rocked and was big enough to handle a bed pillow on my lap with our son on top of that. We could both then relax in comfort as our son nursed. Ahhhhh...

DISCRETION
I didn't mention this above, but the decision also depends on how comfortable you are with the idea of nursing. I was totally comfortable with nursing, but my in-laws felt really weird about it. We struck up a compromise. I would put a soft blanket over my shoulder so that they felt comfortable still being in the room. Our son could nurse but it was discreet enough for their comfort zone. Personally, I think it was kind of a cozy little spot for our son!

So, there you have it. A bunch of cons, but also ways to get around them to make it a better experience. Good luck deciding! Regardless of your decision, enjoy your bigger family this fall.

P.S. Not everyone can breastfeed. A friend's baby wasn't getting enough nutrition from her milk and needed to go to formula. But you'll find out if and when you get there.

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P.J.

answers from Hartford on

J.,
It's wonderful that you are considering and gathering information about breastfeeding. I would be interested in knowing what has made you consider it after having formula fed your first two children. Most likely the benefits that you hear about in the news media, etc. At any rate congratulations on being open-minded enough to consider breastfeeding this baby.

I breastfed my three children and never considered any other options. I had no real challenges except the normal sleep deprivation that every new mother goes through no matter how she feeds her baby. Breastfeeding was the most wonderful, relaxing, calming, experience for me. That is why I chose to become an IBCLC and help other mothers through the challenges that sometimes come their way. The more you know about breastfeeding prior to having your baby the more prepared you will be. I would recommend the book The Seven Natural Laws of Breastfeeding by Nancy Mohrbacher as a wonderful resource to read prior to having your baby. The more you know about how breastfeeding works the more informed you will be. Also, attending a La Leche Meeting can be helpful or at least knowing who in the area will be available to answer questions or help IF help is needed.

For me, breastfeeding was the perfect way to not only
provide nutrition, but to bond and connect with my kids. With my second and third, being able to spend that special time with them during feeds was so calming. I was able to work full-time and continue to breastfeed easily on my return to work, also. Also, my three kids have really never been to the Pediatrician for a sick appointment - only school physicals, etc.

I wish you the best in your decision making and hope you will give breastfeeding a try.

P. Jones, IBCLC
Lactation Services of Southington
____@____.com
www.breastfeedingservice.com

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M.D.

answers from Boston on

You've gotten tons and tons of advice here, but I'll pipe in. I nursed my son (almost 4 now) to 18 months and now I am just starting to wean my 18 month old twins daughters. They all nursed exclusively for the first 6 months. I LOVED it. You always have the food with you, it soothes them, it's awesome cuddly time. My hubby never minded. Daddies can do lots of things to bond with baby. My advice: assume it will go ok. Don't worry about all the difficult things (I never experienced any). Solve problems as they arise. Get support from the lactation counselors if needed. Your nipples do need to get used to it, but it gets better quickly (usually as your milk comes in and the baby doesn't have to suck so hard, as milk is thnnier than colostrum). They do need to eat more often, but you just get used to it. I am not one who minds "whipping it out" anywhere, so it never mattered to me. I just went on with life and nursed where I was (you can easily do it discreetly). For me, there was no down side at all. Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Portland on

Hi J.,

I won't go into a lot of detail because others already have. But I'll simply say that breastfeeding my daughter is the single most wonderful, beautiful thing I've ever done in my life--and I say this despite the sore nipples at first, the occasional plugged ducts, the lack of independence for me (being someone's food source is quite a responsibility!). It has been the most moving, loving, bonding experience, and I treasure those moments of closeness and nurturing so very much. I am lucky I was able to do it (it was not easy at first--it is a learned skill, for both mom and babe), and indeed it is a no-brainer as far as what is most beneficial for the child. But it was also beneficial for me.

Good luck making your decision!

J.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

I breast fed for 10 and a half months. The first two or three weeks were torture, the first week was especially horrid. The first few days you have to breastfeed every few hours to help your milk come in. Even though baby isn't getting milk, he is getting colustrum, which is full of nutrients. It does became much easier and I can totally understand why moms would give it up after that first week or two. You think, how could I possibly do this again, I would cry just thinking about it. But it got easier and easier and your nipples just get used to it and your baby gets used to latching on. At first it felt like a rabid animal was latched on to my boob! I was on pain meds the first week and it helped and when my milk came in I was praising God! It does become easier and it was easier and cheaper than formula feeding which I did after breastfeeding and it is so so good for baby. It became so easy that I am glad I stuck with it. Plus the savings on formula were huge! The drawbacks are that I had to wear a bra to bed at night for 10 and half months because my breasts leaked and you can't stray too far from baby for more than 4 hours or your boobs feel like they are going to explode (well not that bad but you know what I mean), I didn't like to pump at all so I commend all the moms who do. My husband was fine with breastfeeding. It was new to both of us and we became used to it. It became second nature. Sometimes I would pump milk into a bottle so my husband could feed the baby and that helped him bond more with him. I say just try it and if it isn't working for you, then don't worry to much about it. At least you gave it a try and it will only help your baby and your pocketbook! ;) I do have to say that when I was done with breastfeeding, I felt liberated but I was glad I did it. Oh yeah, one more thing, when you breastfeed you get these endorphins that allow you to be more awake and energized, when I stopped breastfeeding those endorphins went away and I was exhausted. So that is another big plus to breastfeeding.

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J.F.

answers from New London on

I loved breastfeeding. My husband was never jealous or felt left out. He kinda enjoyed being able to have his time with the other children. THey when I was finished he would burp or rock him to sleep and I could have my turn with the other kids. It just worked. You just have to talk about it before had and both get commited to it. There could be rough times but there could not be. WIth my first breastfeeding was smooth sailing. With my second not so much. But I was dedicated to it and was not giving up. And eventually we founda groove. It turned out great. SO great I had a hard time giving it up. It is the absolute best for baby. And you really bond with baby. It's amazing. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Providence on

Hi J., I think everyone's experience is different. I had a very hard time in the beginning but I realized that I just needed to make up my mind that it was something that I was going to do and stick with it! The first two weeks were really rough... just trying to figure everything out and deal with sore nipples, feeling like my boobs were going to explode, etc! You definitely need the full support of your husband. He needs to encourage you through the rough start. After those few weeks though it got to be absolutely wonderful. Such an amazing bond between me and my son. I ended up doing it for 13 months and he never had a drop of formula. Aside from the experience itself, the health benefits are unbeatable. Also, it is so EASY once you get the hang of it and get into a routine! You always have milk with you and don't have to prepare & wash bottles. For me, it ended up being a no-brainer decision. I don't think my husband really felt like he missed out on anything. After he read about the health benefits and realized how well our son was doing with it he was very supportive. The health of our son took precedence over him wanting to feed him :-) I'm expecting our 2nd child in September and wouldn't consider doing anything differently. Anyway, I encourge you to make a firm decison before you have the baby. If you just say, oh, I'll give it a try and see what happens I think it ends up being too easy to give up. Good luck with your decision! J. C.

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D.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
I have three kids. I tried breastfeeding with all three. The first was an awful experience...only lasted 6 weeks. THe second was so-so....12weeks. The third was great and I nursed him for 6 months. My opinion is that if you want to try it, just do it. If it doesn'twork out for you, switch to formula. The only thing I can say is don't fall into the 'guilts' about having to stick with it. You have to do what it right for you and your baby. I felt so guilty with my first one so I kept trying, but at the end of 6 weeks we had an unhappy baby and an unhappy mom. BTW, the reason we were both so unhappy (I found out later) is that we were doing it wrong! The nurses at the hospital showed me incorrectly how to have her latch on....lots of blocked milk ducts for me! So, that said, if you decide to try it... learn the right way.

Good luck!

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B.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

I think its very wise for you consider all your options before you decide to breastfeed. It is certainly an experience, as opposed to a 'task' and like any experience it has its pros and cons. Hubbies sometimes DO feel left out, but they can easily be included by you pumping some of your milk and encouraging your husband to take part in the feeding that way.

I personally breastfeed my two children (now 13 and 16) and it wasn't just 'eh' for me. For me, it was a natural continuation from the womb, and the babies reliance on me for sustenance. I felt really positive about the nutritive benefit I was providing for my baby, and the maternal connection and closeness I felt during the experience was very gratifying. It was like I had the opportunity to ease my baby into life through the natural process of breastfeeding.

What I would highly recommend (I couldn't have been so successful with my second baby, Nicholas without it), is a baby sling. My oldest daughter, Kayla, who was 3 at the time was able to hold my full attention while Nicholas was safely cocooned in the sling. I could even breastfeed him, no hands! This made the job of caring for an active three year old MUCH easier, and provided the physical closeness that seemed to calm and soothe the baby.

It sounds like you'll have your hands full. Best of luck, with whatever decision you make, and to your growing family.

Take care.
B.

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K.D.

answers from Boston on

I loved loved loved breastfeeding. I have to tell you, the first three weeks or so are pretty painful. My best advice is, have cabbage leaves on hand. Sound crazy? They help with engorgement, and feel very soothing to painful nipples. You just cut the cabbage in half, find the one that's the right size for your breast, and put in on the skin with a bra over it.

So yes, my first child made me bleed after a week, and it takes a while to build up the strength in your nipples to be able to handle the constant chappedness of a baby who is eating all the time. But after a month or so, it is SO great-- comfortable, relaxing, I shed every ounce of baby weight in 2 months or less, and it couldn't be more convenient. Think about it: it's always the right temperature, no sanitation questions, immediately available, doesn't cost a penny, and while pumping wasn't my favorite thing, this meant that I had more flexibility to go out and continue my own life despite giving my babies only breast milk. My husband was not jealous, although he was more excited about introducing solid food than I was so that he would have equal importance in feeding the kids.

Oh, one more thing: you CAN teach your child to nurse. I didn't know that at the beginning, and I really did it wrong. The idea is to have the child take as much of the breast into the mouth as possible, so that the teeth/gums are nowhere near the nipple but on the stronger skin along the outside. I assumed that a baby would just instinctively know how to do it, and that it was supposed to hurt, so I didn't get involved in saying, "No, let's reposition so that it doesn't hurt!" You can experiment with a number of positions depending on what kind of birth you have (football hold for Cesarean birth, across the lap for vaginal, etc.) but my favorite that let me get the most sleep was side lying, where both of you are lying down tummy-to-tummy and you can actually continue sleeping (after a while when it gets comfortable) while the child is nursing! I didn't discover that position until my first child was 4 months old and I was REALLY glad when I did.

Anyway, highly recommended! But, I gotta say, wean the child at 1-1/2 or so, because my 3 year old is still asking for it even though she was weaned nearly a full year ago! Try to make it so the kid can't remember nursing. But it will serve him well, and you too!

And one last thing: you do what YOU want to do, and don't listen to idiots who think their way is the only acceptable way to parent! No one else knows the day-to-day nitty gritty of your life, home and situation. You're the boss!

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S.J.

answers from Boston on

Jaimie,

I breastfed my first daughter for a year and am currently breastfeeding my almost-1-month-old. I think the biggest thing to consider is not how other people feel about breastfeeding, but how it fits into YOUR life. With my first daughter, it fit well because it was relatively easy for me, I had great supply, my husband was super-supportive, and I had a work situation that enabled me to pump so that I was able to go back to work full-time and still exclusively breastfeed.

With my second daughter, I'm seeing how much harder breastfeeding is when I have a 3-year-old to take care of in addition to the new baby. I really hope to exclusively breastfeed my infant for a year, but I can already see how stressful it's going to be when I have to go back to work and get two of them out the door every morning. Thankfully, my husband is still very supportive of it, and he does everything he can to help me make it work.

Obviously, I think breastfeeding is great, otherwise I wouldn't work so hard to do it. But I've seen how it can really take a toll on a mom if her circumstances are not as conducive to breastfeeding as mine. I don't think it's worth making yourself miserable to give your child breastmilk. It's more important for baby to have a happy mom who isn't stressed out or feeling guilty all the time.

Just my two cents. Good luck! I hope you can make it work for you.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

For me, breastfeeding was great. That doesn't mean it was always easy. I'll give you my list of my pros and cons.

Cons: at first, it does hurt and the engorgement is uncomfortable; your diet is somewhat restricted (like alcohol and caffiene); sometimes it interfers with your sex life; and unless you have no qualms about public breastfeeding, it can be isolating when you go to social functions; and breastfeeding can alter your breasts forever.

Pros: Science has proven that breastfeeding is healthiest and when you think about it, usually the natural or "organic" method of doing things is healthiest. Also, the pain I mention in the con section is temporary (usually gone after two weeks) and there is loads of support out there for breastfeeding moms. Plus, you don't have to buy, mix, or carry formula. As you know, formula is expensive as babies are in many ways. So, if you can eliminate the expense in one area, why not? And when you are out, it is a lot easier to find a private corner (or car seat) to nurse in than to worry about how long the formula you mixed at home will be good, etc. A lot less bottles to wash! The isolation during outings I mentioned is easily cured with pumping and bringing a bottle. And, in the middle of the night, it is so much easier to nurse than to heat water for a bottle. Also, when you breastfeed, you take time out to sit down and cuddle with your baby. These are great moments of bonding (and much needed rest for you). Also, breastfeeding is based on supply and demand: your body regulates what your baby needs (thus, breastfed babies are less likely to be overweight) And breastfeeding is not a long-term contract. You can quit whenever you think you or your baby is ready.
Honestly, I think it is just a personal choice. Whatever you are most comfortable with. I would encourage anyone who wants to nurse to find good support (because though it's natural, it isn't easy in the beginning) and to introduce the bottle between four and six weeks. (If you wait longer you run the risk of your baby only accepting the breast.) That way you get the best of both worlds. You can nurse when it's convenient and pump and bottle it when it's not. Getting a good pump makes a huge difference.

I hope some of this helped. Best of luck!
A. G.

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T.H.

answers from Boston on

Oh, I think you should definitely try it! It really is wonderful. Now, having said that, let me tell you about my own experience.

Both my babies were "lazy suckers": they fell asleep almost immediately every time they were put to breast. As a result, the first six weeks were awful - frequent visits to the lactation department at the hospital, weight checks and the resulting ups and downs, supplementing with formula and pumped milk, the stress of not being able to feed my child when other moms had no problems, we even had thrush at one point: OWWW!

That said, after six weeks of stress, tears, and trying to keep my little ones awake to eat we FINALLY turned a corner. All of a sudden we got the hang of it, the baby had gained enough weight to have a strong latch and suck, and the pain went away. At THAT point, breastfeeding became the easiest, warmest, most enjoyable thing my children and I have experienced together.

If/when we have a third child, I will remember how tough those first 6 weeks were, and I will decide to breastfeed through it all.

Best of luck to you, and enjoy your new little one!

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P.N.

answers from Boston on

I am sorry you got some unsupportive comments. I think with a lot of parenting things whatever we do or did is the right way and sometimes people get a little overzealous in their advocacy whether it be for or against breastfeeding (and everything else!).

I think that you should definitely breastfeed your new baby. If it doesn't happen for you, then you can move on to formula. But since you are considering it, if you don't do it you may wonder later.

I don't need to go into the health benefits of it, as you can easily look those up anywhere. But I think if you never do it you may miss out on a once in a lifetime experience. It is something only you can do for your baby.

I've found it to be a wonderful experience with my DD. Yes, the first few weeks are no picnic. They can be challenging. But in the scheme of things what's a few weeks? Yes, you are tied to your baby as she depends completely on you. But that is what babies do no matter how they are fed. It's really the natural order of things.

I see a bunch of people mentioned the con of how long it takes to breastfeed, but one nice thing is that you are forced to take a break from time to time (and the long nursing does NOT last forever). You absolutely have to just sit there while they nurse. All new moms need opportunities to slow down, especially with older children. Nursing makes you do it.

Since you have 2 active kids already, breastfeeding can really make it easier too. It's always there and ready for the baby. If you have the baby in a sling, she can nap and nurse no matter where you are and noone even needs to know.

My husband never felt left out. The fact is we all bring different skills to the family. His wasn't nursing, obviously, so he was a great baby soother and took care of all the diaper changes at night in the early days.

I think it is great that you are asking about this. The more info we have in advance the better. You may want to check out a local LaLeche League meeting. LLL provides mom-to-mom support for others who want to breastfeed (no matter how long they want to do it:a week, month, year, whatever your goal is).

You also may want to pick up Dr. Sears Breastfeeding Book. He goes through a lot of different issues. It may be helpful.

Good luck with the new baby!

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A.M.

answers from Hartford on

Breastfeeding is awesome! It's so easy... it's always available, it's free... you never have to think about food. I nursed my son till 2yo. But that isn't why I did it. I'm a doctor and I know that it is the best possible thing you can do for your baby's health and immune system... it's also the best possible thing you can do for them emotionally and nothing creates a better bond. Please try it... the first few days can be hard but then it's so easy.

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

I see you have a million responses to this post, but as I read through them I noticed only one that mentioned the negatives and even she minimized them (in my opinion). It seems you know all the positives and since you asked, I'll chime in with some of the negatives.

Sore nipples. I guess people did address this one. This didn't actually happen to me. But I believe it's been covered.

You are tied to your baby. Leaving him/her for more than a couple hours is almost impossible. And even that requires a great deal of planning. I know a lot of people tell you you can pump for those occasions, but that never worked for me. I had enough milk to feed four babies, but couldn't manage to pump much at all. That's possibly something that won't be a problem for you. But even if you are able to pump, your outing requires precision timing so that you can feed the baby before you leave and, invariably, the baby will not cooperate on such occasions!

No one else can feed your baby. Your husband cannot help you with the middle of the night feedings. It's all you. Something I've seen a lot of on this forum is bf mom's having issues getting their child to take a bottle - breast milk or other. Even if your baby will take a bottle, it's still going to be you, almost exclusively, feeding your baby. My husband and I had an agreement that I would do all the middle of the night feedings anyway, so it was really not an issue for me, but I've heard other moms complain about it.

Unless you are completely uninhibited, breast feeding away from home can be a challenge. Yes, I know... it's all very natural, blah, blah, blah. BUT that wasn't much of a consolation when I was sitting across the table from my father-in-law, or my husband's boss, or I'm in the middle of the mall, or.... If you are not shy about it, then great! It will make your life much easier. I was a little self-conscious and it made certain situations a little uncomfortable or inconvenient or both.

So there you have some negatives to make an informed decision. I won't go into the positives, because I believe other people have covered that and then some. Suffice it to say that although my children are grown (29, 24, 21) I remember all the negatives as well as the positives. But I happily I breast fed all three of my children and would definitely do it again, if given the chance.

Oh one more thing. Something no one ever told me. When nursing your first born, in the first couple weeks, you have some slight cramping. When you nurse your second born, you have some very noticeable cramping. With your third... some very intense cramping! It's actually good for your body and I wouldn't categorize that as negative, necessarily. It certainly wouldn't have stopped me from nursing. But I sure wish someone had warned me!

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D.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

i breastfed both my children until they self-weaned, my son at 21 months, my daughter at 14 months. When my daughter weaned herself in April i was a little sad. Probably the last child i will ever nurse! But then i got out my summer dresses and started feeling very happy....

Luckily breastfeeding was easy for me (despite losing 1.5 L of blood at my first birth and being very exhausted -- the milk always was there). Here's a list of things i liked and didn't like:

- Being in close touch with baby. Relaxing together. Getting to know each other. Getting connected.
- Easy time on outings: all you need is water to drink and your breasts, and a place to sit down. Or a good carrier that allows breastfeeding while walking and standing -- which i did with surprising ease, once i tried it.
- no worries about nutrition. If you eat healthy, baby gets all it needs. despite common wisdom, I did not have to stop eating garlic, ginger, actually anything. Except i stayed away from really spicy food.
- my sex-drive was noticably lower. My husband longed with grace. He was not jealous of the babies. He was patient. He is now very happy that my breasts are smaller again, and my sex-drive is back.
- i lost a lot of hair both times at month 6 of breastfeeding. But it all grows back now, which i am very happy about.
- weightloss just happened, without worry.
- though breastfeeing exhausts the body, there are also big benefits: lower risk of breast cancer, happy-hormones, mothering-hormones ("better nerves")
- you can't wear most summer dresses when breast feeding, unless you want to strip to feed...

Sears & Sears in most their books have a list of advantages about breastfeeding, but they are also open to other ways. You may find it informative and useful to check there, or on their website (askdrsears.com).

I loved breastfeeding.

Hope you find what's right for you, your baby, and your family. Good luck!
D.

PS oh, one thing i noticed in the public discussions. Don't think breastfeeding and feeding pumped-milk from the bottle are the same. I think the latter is stressful and has less benefits. I am happy i did not have to pump and feed.

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

When you look at the differences between bottle and breastfeeding, the benefits of breastfeeding are a no-brainer. Pick up the latest issue of Mothering Magazine (sold in Whole Foods, Barnes & Noble)there is an amazing article about just this issue! Also this article from Mothering is amazing as well: http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/...
Also check out these articles from Dr. Sears: http://askdrsears.com/html/2/t020700.asp
http://askdrsears.com/html/2/t020400.asp
Breastfeeding is the most natural thing we can do, is best for mom & baby, is MUCH cheaper, and it actually helps you lose that postpartum baby fat. Do your own research, you will find there is no comparison. From a personal experience, I enjoy breastfeeding, it boosts serotonin & prolactin ~it makes you feel relaxed and happy, why wouldn't you breastfeed!?
Good luck and congratulations!

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A.P.

answers from Bangor on

J.

I absolutely LOVED breastfeeding both my girls, eight years apart. It's convenient, easy and a wonderful bonding experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything! That said I have plenty of friends who did not enjoy it at all. They felt tied down, were in pain most the time, or just didn't produce enough milk. The ones who struggled seemed to be more uncomfortable with their own bodies. Privacy was a big issue for them. They often said they were breastfeeding only because it was what was best nutrtionaly and emotionaly for their children. I feel if your going to resent it, don't do it. Your baby can feel your emotions.

Hope this helps!

A. P

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.
My babies are 23 and 25 (Years!) so my advice is what I followed when it was my time to make that breastfeeding decision. My thought was that-logically if you start out breastfeeding and it doesn't fit into your (very busy mom of two other babies!) lifestyle-then you can stop and switch to formula. You can't start breastfeeding if you didn't do it from the start. So the choice was logical for me-I breastfed both (three months only for the allergy prevention) and am glad I did.
Just an "Old" moms advice! Don't be so h*** o* yourself-you have alot on your plate!
J. H

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M.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

I breastfed all three of my kids. The first one was the hardest because you're just learning how to do it. The second was easier and the third was easiest. While I only BF between 6-12 weeks it was the time involved that discouraged me the most. A newborn needs to eat every 2-3 hours but they take an hour (or more)to nurse. You never know if they ate enough when they start cying half hour after fedding. You will feel as if you are constantly nursing your little one for at least 3 months. Good luck & best wishes

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P.B.

answers from Hartford on

Hi J.,
Go for it! I breast fed my second child after formula-feeding my first. It was a great experience, and my husband was very supportive. My advice: Give yourself 6 weeks. Try not to quit before that if you can. If you can make it that far, you will have conquered the hardest part, and it will be very routine by that point. Take a class and/or read a book before starting. Seek the advice of lactation consultant in the hospital if you have any questions or troubles. They are wonderful. Invest in some gel pads for the first few days (be prepared to be raw). I was not privy to these jewels when I started, but have given them to all my breast feeding friends who swear by them (I bought them at CVS). Have lanolin on hand (the hospital gave me enough to last me for awhile). By taking a class, reading a book and/or talking to a LC you can learn about pumping as well. This will give you some freedom, and your family a chance to feed the baby. I strongly recommend this!! I tried for one bottle a day in the evening, and it was good for everyone. It is an amazing experience, you only get a few shots in your life...give it a try!! Good luck.

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M.H.

answers from Hartford on

Hi J.,
I say go for it. It won't hury to at least try & if it is not for you at least you won't wonder what if the rest of your life. It won't be easy with two others to take care of but you can also pump so dad came feed with pumped milk & you I have friends that hated it. But again. I say give it a try you may be like me & it will be a breeze & such a great expreience. enjoy. M.

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K.S.

answers from Boston on

hi J.,

as a breastfeeding mom, i think it is wonderful, if it is something the mom is interested in doing. it is a personal decision, despite everyone offering their advice, solicited or not! my daughter is 20 months old, still breastfeeding (now down to twice a day, morning and night). overall it has been an amazing experience, and i feel i (and she) would have missed out if we hadn't nursed. my husband has not felt left out (he has bottle fed her since she was 4 wks old). of course, there are times when it is inconvenient (especially as she has grown older) and i have felt that i miss having my body as my own, but i wouldn't do anything other than what i have done. if you are at all interested, start breastfeeding at birth. if you find you don't like it after a period of time, phase it out. you will know what is right for you.
good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Boston on

If you are anywhere near melrose you should check out the. Baby Cafe. It is a place where moms can go 2 times a week to hang out with other breatfeeding moms to get support or just listen. Makes a big difference to know others are going through the same things!

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

Breast feeding is what we are supposed to do. That is what boobs are there for, yes?
There are so many reasons to choose to breast feed your infant.
You will be giving him/her the very best possible start nutrionally..breast milk CANNOT be duplicated nor can the fringe benefits of breast milk be created in a vat.
The child receives immunilogical benefits they can get nowhere else. These go on until the baby is a year or more old.
This was invaluable in days before antibiotics and vaccinationsand is still pretty important today.
All the anitibodies against various infections in your body will pass to your baby when you breast feed. They do not stay, you have to renew constantly with BF your baby.
The emotional benefits to both of you are huge. The baby feels safe, loved, comforted, secure, and nutured in a way the bottle can never emulate.
It is a time that Mum can sit and rest and regain her strength. Cherish it.
Men are always a bit out of joint over new babies and the amount of time it takes to tend them. If you have a hubby who actively participates in babies care it will all go more easily for him.
Men usually like to "taste" breast milk hehehe.
BF is SO MUCH EASIER than dealing with bottles. Trust me in this.
Middle of the night, get the baby out of crib, latch it on and go back to sleep and you and baby will sleep so much better for it.
No running to kitchen, no heating bottles, no staying awake for feeding, no washing, drying, sterilizing, filling bottles nor buying expensive formula.
I had seven children and had a variety of BF experiences...some did not go so well...had mastitis once, had one with allergic colic and stopped bf him for a bit to see if he would do any better. He did not so started bf again.
Final word, IF you choose to BF, and cannot successfully, you can always stop.
IF you choose not to BF, you will never know that beautiful experience, yes?
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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T.C.

answers from Providence on

That is great that you are doing your homework on breastfeeding, it's alot of work but the benefits are amazing.
My daughter is about to turn 9 months the end of the week and she is still breastfeeding, she was a premie and it was very tough for the 1st week but with the help with lactation specialist from the hopstial and going to Le Lache meetings that really help the both of us. You can look at the Le Leche website to find the closed meeting to your area. Also, having the support from you family and husband is very important as well, it will make you feel more comfortable.

For eample of how my husband bonded with our daughter. After each time I nurse my husband changes her diapers, and my daughter enjoys that time together and it makes my husband feel good. Best wishes I hope everything works out for you! T.

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R.T.

answers from Boston on

Everyone has a different experience. My advice is to TRY it, and even if it's hard at first (it was for me), try it again and again. The benefits to your baby are immense. There are benefits for you too (the baby weight just melted off me- I was back to within 5 pounds of normal weight within 4 months!).

My hubby didn't mind. I think it all depends on the husband how they will react.

I can't say I ever loved BFing, not the way some other moms do. But we fell into a routine that worked for us. And I can say that I missed it when she weaned.

Even if you can't BF for the recommended 1 year, even 3 or 6 months will be beneficial. You don't even have to BF 100%- you can let your husband give her a bottle of formula here and there, so he can bond, and so you can get a break. Basically, any amount of breast milk for your baby is better than none! Good luck!

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E.P.

answers from Boston on

Personally, I'm a huge advocate for Breastfeeding. If you have no troubles with your milk coming in then I'd encourage you to give it a try. I nursed my daughter till she was 3 1/2 yo. I ams till currently nursing my son who is 22 mo.

The bond created is incredible, the nurturing is wonderful and so well worth it. It is the first thing I give to my child when he needs comforting and it is the best thing I could ever give him as this only increases his immunity system to be healthier than most people's including my own.

Good Luck with your decision.
E. P.

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S.P.

answers from Bangor on

I have really enjoyed breastfeeding by son. He just turned two and he still nurses on occation. At the beginning, just realize that is all you might accomplish in the day is to nurse your baby. I have enjoyed the great connection and the look in his eyes when he nurses. I say go for it. The only negative is that it might lower your libido, but there are so many positives. The best advise I got is to keep trying even if it seems hard in the beginning. It might be hard for the baby to get the latch in the beginning.

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N.M.

answers from Hartford on

hi J.,
congratulations on your growing family & your desire to BF your new baby.
my only son is 2.6yo & YES! I still BF!!! yeah!
I had a really rough time at first. but here we are, we love it, now he only nurses at nite & in the morning.
BF is not easy, but certainly not as costly like formula. Your commitment will pay off in the end. there are still lots of changes to make this happen, your diet being one. you'll need to teach your older children.
please ask for advise from a Lactation consultant either thru your Pedi or you OBGYN & of course La Leche Legue in your area; they're sooo helpful, i would have not made past the 1st mo if I did not have her help. Ask lots of questions. how to prepare for it, what to wear, when to pump, etc, etc. Make friends with someone who can really help you while nursing, to get advise & listen to their input. Enlist you & hubby in the prenatal BF class at your hospital---it will really help.
good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

Simply put I loved it, and I missed it after my daughter weaned. In my opinion it's easier than bottle feeding in the first couple of months because they feed so frequently! You won't have to wash bottles/nipples, warm up milk, guess how much your little one will want (sometimes they want a snack, sometimes a full meal), only to find that he/she was crying for some other reason, not hunger.
Cons:
1.You will be tied to your baby for the first several months. It's easier to accept and deal with if you EXPECT it. Your friends will have to understand that you can't be away from your baby for several hours at a time. Fortunately the baby will travel easily in the first few months and you can bf wherever you are.
2.You might need to see a lactation specialist to get you get a good latch. In the interim you may have soreness/cracking.
3.I really can't think of any other cons.
Pros:
1. It's relaxing. Oxytocin is released as your milk lets down, and you can literally feel yourself melting into your chair while your baby feeds.
2. best nutrition for baby
3. I ate more during lactation than I did while pregnant and still lost my baby weight. You can continue to "eat for two."
4. your milk is portable and won't spoil in the car. feed the baby whenever, wherever, quickly.
5. bonding bonding bonding
6. as women we're fortunate to have to ability carry and bear children, and to feed them the best nutrition for them. I think it's a good idea to at least try, and give it your best shot. If it doesn't work out you can wean at any time. good luck!

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H.R.

answers from Hartford on

I would encourage you to try it, primarily because of the health benefits to both you and your baby. Also, you know how to do the bottle thing and can always fall back on that. You can even do both.

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S.B.

answers from Burlington on

I'm on going onto my 13th month of breastfeeding and am glad that I've persisted.
The negatives:The first few weeks was some of the worst pain of my life (scabbing, etc...) and then I had a good few months of vasospasms. Although the latter was uncomfortable it wasn't really painful. Breastfeeding also meant that I was the only one able to feed him in the beginning so my husband did feel a little left out. We decided that if I was in charge of input than he was in charge of out put! (I think that I got the better end of that deal) I also found those "growth spurts" where he suddenly consumed more very tiring. Same goes for pumping, although I managed to keep that up for the first year. Lastly, it does unfortunately lower your libido.
The Positives (there's less to be said here but each reason far out-weights the negatives): There are the obvious health benefits and the practicality of it of course. On a personal level the bonding and intimacy shared between my child and I is one of the best experiences of my life. Though a part of me is starting to look forward to having my body to myself, I'm really going to miss it.
Note: We introduced organic home-made purees at 6 months and I'm now down to breastfeeding on average about 4 times in 24 hours.
Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

Here is my honest-to-goodness advice. DO IT. I am a SAHM with my first who is now 5 months old. It was never really something I considered not doing, so when I was having a hard time at the beginning, I had the attitude of "it will get better". Now I love it and I actually feel sorry for all the women who aren't breastfeeding their babies.

In the beginning, he had a hard time latching on, and I had two breast infections (mastitis) that were really painful. It was painful for about seven weeks. That's not common, but that's what happened for me.

From week eight on, I have LOVED it. I hardly even want to start solid foods, because I enjoy the time together. My husband has never been jealous, though my breasts can be a little more dangerous than they used to be. You can always pump milk if he wants to give a bottle... we do that sometimes. Breastmilk is so easy...all that's in my diaper bag are diapers. No bottles, no formula, nothing to prepare... When the baby's crying I don't have to make him wait while I get anything ready. It's always ready, as much as he needs, and at just the right temperature. What else? Non-smelly poop. Perfect nutritional content that changes with his needs. I think it's so perfect that I've started donating my extra to a milk-bank to feed babies in the NICU. And I can eat almost anything I want because breastfeeding burns so many calories. My baby weight is almost completely gone and I really haven't been trying.

In summary... DO IT. I feel like you're missing out. I'm ready for another baby mostly because I know this one will be done nursing before I know it. The modesty piece is tough to get over, but I've found that most people are pretty good about looking away while you try to get situated and cover the wiggly baby with a blanket. Good luck!

Peace,
L.

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L.Z.

answers from Boston on

Hi J. - I have a few different thoughts on this subject, having been through it twice. My oldest daughter was NOT at all interested in learning to latch, so I did A LOT of pumping with her so she could get the nutrients anyway. We did supplement with formula a lot because I think the fact that she wasn't nursing herself caused my supply to dwindle a little (the baby nursing is much more effective than pumping, and your body will produce if it gets stimulated, so basically the more you feed, the more it will produce to keep up). I felt like a failure, sad, depressed, etc. with her because I "couldn't" breastfeed her. In hindsight, I think recovering from a c-section of a huge baby and being a first-time mom had more to do with it than the breastfeeding issues!! With my second daughter almost two years ago, it was so different. She got the hang of it quickly, and we had a really awesome bond through the nursing. In fact, I feel like I produced more with her because she just took to it so well and I was more relaxed because I knew what to expect. I also stopped the madness of putting pressure on myself to be the perfect mom, perfect at nursing and juggling an infant and a 2-year old, you get the idea. I was fine with using formula now and again, which we did, until I weaned her at 3 months because I went back to work.

My husband did feel a little left out, but he was fine with whatever I did as long as I was fine with it. I remember him wanting me to bottle feed my oldest because I was so beside myself every time I tried to nurse, he just wanted me to stop crying and being upset!! But he was fine overall and found other ways to bond with both girls. I was really sad, honestly, about weaning my youngest at 3 months because I felt like she and I were just getting started! Pumping at work is not an option in my job, and I was so upset about having to go back - it was really emotional after I weaned her.

One drawback, in my opinion and experience, is the weight thing... I don't know how much of an exerciser you are on your own (like at the gym, running etc.) but I felt like I didn't lose those last stubborn pounds until I stopped nursing because having such sore breasts made it VERY hard to work out, and you can't be away from the baby or a pump for too long or you get mighty uncomfortable. It does help with weight loss, yes, but I feel like it levels off after a while, at least it did for me. I was somewhat happy to be able to do my own workout without worrying that the baby would need me for feeding while I was gone. I never felt that was selfish on my part and still don't today.

Which brings me to my next point - PLEASE don't fall victim to a somewhat overly critical breastfeeding culture out there if you decide not to nurse, or supplement with formula. There are a lot of women out there who feel like formula is the work of the devil - it is NOT! We all have choices to make in terms of what is best for our families and lives as mothers, and formula feeding is fINE if that's the route you choose to go. I am really sensitive to that as a working mom, because I had no choice with my girls but to stop breastfeeding after a time. I do feel that it is the best for the baby, yes, and the bonding is like no other for sure, but I also feel that the pendulum has swung very far in the breastfeeding direction these days, causing mothers who either can't or don't nurse to feel that they are somehow hurting their own children. My advice to you would be to give it a shot and try it - why not? See how it goes, and leave your options open. Good luck to you! Let us know how it goes next winter!

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K.E.

answers from Boston on

I breastfed both of my sons for more than a year (13 and 15 months) and plan to breastfeed the one on the way. There are a few negatives, but the positives are overwhelming.

Negatives: initial sore nipples, possibly more time consuming than bottles while baby and mom figure out what they're doing (also note that some babies are better eaters than others. My first son would initialy spend an hour nursing! He just didn't keep at it and kept falling asleep. My second son got it right away and took only 5-15 min early on! So you definitely can't estimate the amount of time that nursing will take until you have the baby and see how it goes). Both these negatives disappear within a month or so. The only other negative is that you are tied to your baby's schedule. If you get a good pump, you can be away from the baby at feeding times and leave some milk with dad or grandma or whoever, but you still have to plan your outing with pumping time in mind.

Positives: Breastfeeding takes a ton of calories and will help you to lose baby weight more quickly. It helps you bond with your baby. It is so much healthier for babies than formula -- researchers can't even identify most of the proteins in breastmilk, so they can't replicate them! Breastfed babies tend to have less sickness and higher IQs than formula-fed babies. It's also easier to know when to stop feeding (your body automatically regulates this in response to your baby's eating habits), so breastfed babies are less likely to be overweight. Finally, I've heard people say convenience is an argument for formula feeding, but I just don't understand this. I definitely do not want to have to get up in the middle of the night to go prepare and warm up a bottle, nor do I want to have to make sure I have enough bottles and formula packed for every outing. With breastfeeding, the food supply is always there and always ready! At first babies tend to take longer to breastfeed because it's harder to learn to take milk from a real nipple, but they quickly become good at it. It's true that you might have to feed your baby slightly more often (so I've heard) if you breastfeed because breast milk is more easily digestible, but in my mind this hardly outweighs the inconvenience of having to prepare all the bottles, and wash them! Plus, of course breastmilk is FREE. Do the math and figure out how much you might spend on formula. Yikes!

One more positive now that you already have two kids: When someone else is around to help with the other two, you can say you have to go off and feed the baby and thus get a little rest! You get to sit in a quiet place and hold your baby while someone else deals with the chaos. Of course, when no one else is around to help, you have to feed the baby AND deal with the chaos, but you would have to do that with a bottle, too.

In short, I would definitely reccommend breastfeeding. As others have said, at least try it -- you can always stop, whereas if you don't try it you can't change your mind. If you do decide to give it a try, I also reccommend www.motherwear.com. They have great nursing bras and tops (and frequent sales). Consider getting a couple of nursing tanks to wear under your existing wardrobe and save some money.

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

Hi. First, congratulations on your pregnancy! I had my third baby 4 months ago, and life get very full and very joyful with 3.

My experiences with breastfeeding: I nursed my first for exactly 3 years -- he weaned on his 3rd birthday. His dad and I split up when he was 9 months old. His father saw my nursing him as me wanting to keep power over him, particularly at the beginning when he was nursing exclusively (we started solids at 4 months exactly because of his dad's pressure... I would have preferred to go another month or two.) We had no physical problems nursing, and I found it to be a wonderful bonding experience, particularly when reconnecting after my son had been over at his father's. As my son got older and started spending nights at his dad's, we had no problem nursing when he was here and not nursing when he wasn't, though I would have to pump to keep up my supply at the beginning. My son is going to be 8 this summer, and says that he remembers nursing with a very warm and happy feeling, and loves the fact that he can remember it. The only problems I had were a couple of blocked ducts, which I am apparently prone to.

My second child weaned when she was 39 months old. We weaned because I was pregnant again and my milk dried up, and then for the first time it really hurt to nurse. She let it go pretty easily. Nursing went pretty easily with her too, though unlike with my son, I was never able to sleep when she was nursing. I have no idea why. I had a brief mastitis at one point which was easily treated with cabbage leaves (yes, cabbage leaves wrapped around your breasts treat mastitis.) Again, a wonderful experience.

My third is now 4 months old. Unlike his siblings, he did not take strongly to nursing at birth. He was 3 weeks early, and had a much weaker latch because of it, and then he developed rsv and pneumonia at 11 days, and had a hard time nursing because he was so congested. While he was in the hospital, I stayed with him and did a combination of nursing and pumping and feeding him with a syringe. After he recovered, he was still a bit weak in the nursing department and was very very sleepy. He liked it, but it wasn't his passion like it was with my other two from the beginning. The, at about 3 weeks, he suddenly became a lot more alert and started nursing strongly, finally regained his birth weight, and started gaining a pound a week. At his 4 month checkup last Friday, he weighed in at 18 pounds 14 ounces. And he loves nursing with a passion. Barring anything unforseen, I will probably nursing him until he's approximately 3 years old as well.

I have nursed my kids so long for a variety of reasons -- my initial reason was that very severe food allergies run in my family and I wanted to reduce the chance of that as much as possible. So far, none of my kids have developed food allergies. Hopefully we'll continue to dodge that bullet with Noah, my baby. But in addition to that, I love the closeness it brings. I also like the fact that as they get older and more independent through toddlerhood, they can come back and feel that connection any time they want to. It's very hard to explain and others have done it much better than I can. Nursing a toddler definitely has its challenges, but if you get there, we can talk about it then.

I would definitely say give it a try -- you've got nothing to lose, you can always change your mind at any point, but every day you nurse your baby you're giving it a gift that it wouldn't have had otherwise. Even if you only nurse for 3 days, your baby will get all that good colostrum and that will make a difference, or if you nurse for a week, or a month, your baby will really benefit from it. It's not an all or nothing situation.

I very highly recommend getting the name of a good lactation consultant in your area before your baby is born and sticking it on your refridgerator or somewhere else easy to find -- when you're in the middle of a nursing crisis is not the time to have to start searching for a good one... having the info on hand can mean the difference between a minor setback that gets resolved quickly and a deal-breaker. I also suggest, if you want to build up a good milk supply, nurse your baby often. If you think your baby might want to nurse, offer, and keep offering. Milk production is a demand and supply situation -- the more often your baby nurses, the more milk you'll make. It's not uncommon for a baby to nurse for a very long time during a growth spurt... there were times when my first would nurse for 2 1/2 hours at a time... not many of them though.

Anyway, there are a bunch of books out there on nursing. You might want to check one out.

Good luck, and again, congratulations!

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

I had an emergency c section after 36 hrs of labor so my milk was slow to come in but I was bound and determined to breastfeed. THen my little one became jaundiced and had to have formula while in the hospital and I feared it would ruin our chances. It didn't and she nursed ALL the time for the first three weeks or so. Seriously she nursed every 1-2 hrs (counting from start of feed to start of feed - so sometimes it took her an hour to feed, leaving me only an hour's rest). It was very exhausting at first, and very hard for me to get used to it. Many times my husband said, let's just give her formula. But we didn't and after about three weeks we turned a corner where she went about 2-2.5 hrs between feedings. Also, it was quite uncomfortable the first few weeks and only got better around 2-3 weeks. Last, I agree with those who advise giving a bottle relatively early on to make sure they learn to take a bottle, we had a devil of time getting her to take a bottle around 6 weeks after nursing.

In short, I grew to LOVE LOVE LOVE nursing but it took about 3 weeks. i agree with the advice to give it 6 weeks before giving up as it is very difficult in the beginning. Also important to enlist the support of your hubby and let him know how he can help (changing the baby, getting you something to eat while you are nursing etc).

Congrats and best of luck!

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S.B.

answers from Boston on

I'm sure you will get many varied responses because I think every woman's experience is different! I absolutely loved breastfeeding! I loved the connection with my son; I felt like it was a healthy choice; and it was certainly a lot cheaper than buying formula. Nursing in public sometimes caused me stress because I know that not everyone approves of brestfeeding in public (I was always covered) and sometimes there wasn't a convenient place to nurse. Also, I occasionally got clogged ducts. My son would usually take care of it, but I did end up in the doctor's office a couple of times. Nonetheless, I wouldn't change it for the world! It was a wonderful experience for me to brestfeed my son! Good luck!

Peace,
S.

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

well its good for you and good for baby. you lose the weight faster and I enjoyed I was rather sad when I had to stop due to a surgery :(

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S.G.

answers from Boston on

Don't miss out on it. It will be a great experience for you and you will feel sorry that you did not breast feed your other children. It is a lot less work too. No more packing up bottles to go or warming bottles in the middle of the night. You just pick the baby up and feed him/her. Don't give up or make excuses for why you might not do it. It gets much easier the longer you do it. The first few weeks takes the most adapting, but you will love it after a short while. Make sure you eat well and drink plenty of liquids. You will feel great too. I didn't make a big deal about it in front of my other children either. I still kept covered up when I fed the baby. My other children were similar ages as yours and it was fine.
Good Luck! Plan on doing it for at least 6 months. I did it for 9. I'm not a fan of a lot more than this, but to each his own.
Good health to you and your baby. You can't buy your health...but you can invest in it. Make every investment that you can today.
S.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I breastfed all 4 of my children and loved it. It was very rewarding and personally I thought much easier than bottles. Nothing to sterilize, nothing to measure, nothing to prepare ahead of time. Breast milk is always at the ready which is great if you are out and about and also convenient when you have multiple children and less time to do anything. All my children nursed for 12-14 months. I always tell everyone who is questioning it to try it, it is really a special gift that only women have. My husband never felt left out. There are always bottles to give later down the road.

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

Hey J.,
You can just try it! It may or may not be easy... my first didn't know how to suck and we had to "suck train" her. I had very very sore and bleeding nipples but it didn't last too long and before we knew it she was doing great. I breastfed her until she was 6 months. Our second came out sucking and I breastfed her until 5 months. With both I had to be dairy free because of milk protein allergy. I'm currently breastfeeding our 2 month old son and not sure when I'm going to wean, but for now I find it easier to breastfeed than to make bottles. Those nights are long when you have two others!! I have to be dairy free again and I'm dreaming every night of milk in my coffee - but for now I'm content enough to stay breastfeeding! My girls are 20 months and 3 1/2.
Good luck!

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K.N.

answers from Springfield on

I loved breast feeding my kids. It was not without problems-especially in the first couple of weeks. I would recommend speaking with a lactation consultant and trying to find one who is not going to make yo feel guilty, pressure you etc... But they really do have a lot of wisdom about how to make breastfeeding successful. Your Mom friends who have breastfed their kids will also have wisdom to share. Just avoid those folks who are too preachy about it.

I would not worry too much about your husband feeling left out. Breastfeeding does not mean that you can't also bottle feed. You can either pump OR supplement with formula. It might be fun for your older kids to do that too. But breastfeeding is not an impediment to that.

I definitely think that breastfeeding is the easiest way to go. The idea of having to wake up in the middle of the night to warm a bottle was always overwhelming to me. When my kids woke up, I just took them out of the co-sleeper and fed them- lying down! They would nurse for about five minutes and drift right back off to sleep. That might not have happened in the first two weeks, but after that it could not have been easier. Ditto with being out anywhere. I ALWAYS had with me what I needed to feed my babies. It was ridiculously convenient.

The only other piece of advice I would give is to get a breast feeding pillow called a My Breast Friend. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it made those first few weeks SO much easier. The Boppy pillow is worse than useless. I swear I do not work for the company. But I give that present to any Mom friend who intends to breast feed. They had one in the hospital where I gave birth and it made the process SO much easier.

Good luck! I really think you will enjoy it. It gets easier and easier. Don't be discouraged by the first few days.

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A.B.

answers from Boston on

I am breastfeeding my first child and would not change it for the world! I love that no matter how hectic my day is (I work from home)I have that time to spend with her, as close as a mom and baby can be. I find it very relaxing and therapeutic. My husband does not mind at all and actually marvels at the sight of a mom feeding her baby, he thinks it is cool :) I also find it really convenient to go places with her, I never have to think about preparing/washing/warming bottles and with a breastfeeding cover I am comfortable feeding her pretty much anywhere. I think it is enough to have to think about not forgetting the diaper bag ;) On a side note, I am on a dairy free diet because she temporarly does not tolerate cow's milk protein. I actually found it good for my health though, my digestive system is working better without all the dairy. So that is my experience, and I hope you at least give it a try. Word of warning, the first month is a bit sore, but after that it is fun and worth every moment! Don't get discouraged if it hurts at first, it will pass. Also, be sure to breastfeed right away and on cue to establish a good supply.

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L.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi, I realize you already have a lot of responses, but just wanted to add that I had a REALLY difficult time breastfeeding in the beginning, but hung in there, and ended up loving it! I would say it took me about two months to get to the point where it was not painful and my daughter and I got into a "groove". I nursed my daughter for 15 months and there were so many positive benefits (which others have already mentioned). BFing actually releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel happy and relaxed! It is truly an amazing experience. In the beginning, however, I really needed the support of my mom and other close friends who had experience breastfeeding. I don't think my hubby ever felt left out...he realized all of the benefits and was able to help in lots of other ways. I can't imagine doing it without 100% support from my husband. Just be prepared that it can be very time consuming in the beginning, but as the baby grows and the feedings are more spread out, you have more flexibility. Also get yourself a good breast pump and have some pumped milk on reserve. I think the most important part is to be committed to it (if you decide to go that route) and surround yourself with supportive people (other moms, lactation consultants, etc.) to go to for advice, or just to vent. Good luck in whatever you choose!

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G.H.

answers from Burlington on

Hi J.!
It's so great that you are considering breastfeeding! I am pregnant with my third too, due in July and honestly I can't wait to breastfeeding again. It takes some getting used to at the beginning but man it's worth it! Studies show it's best for your baby AND the mom for many many reasons...As for my partner...on top of all the health reasons , since breastfeeding means more sleep and less hassle he is all for it! I guess the key is to communicate well...I heard partners struggling with the " her boobs are exclusively for the baby now" kind of stuff but really if you talk about it (and it's for such a small period of time anyway...) no problem can't be solved.
I did some research about breastfeeding and here are a few things I wrote down:

Colostrum is the ideal food for your baby for the first few days of life. It is available in your breasts at the time of birth in quantities close to the stomach capacity of your newborn.
• It contains protective white blood cells capable of attacking harmful bacteria
• It acts to “seal” the inside of the baby’s intestines
• It provides a high level of antibodies
• It’s high in protein, low in sugar, easy to digest
• Helps eliminate bilirubin (the substance that causes newborn jaundice)
• It’s high in vitamin K, which prevents hemorrhagic disease of the newborn.

After two to three days of producing colostrum, your regular milk comes in. Human milk has protein that promotes brain development and specific immunities against human diseases, while the bovine (from cows) protein in formula promotes muscle growth and specific immunities to bovine disease.

Mother’s milk miracle:

• It is designed to meet the complete nutritional needs of the growing human infant; it promotes optimum health and development
• Breastfed babies are sick less often because breast milk protects the infant against illness throughout the entire first year and beyond, as long as nursing continues
• Breastfeeding is emotionally fulfilling and pleasurable for both the mom and the baby
• It is convenient (not having to cart around formula, bottles and nipples)
• Breastfeeding moms find that they gradually lose weight while they are breastfeeding
• Breastfeeding moms sleep more (http://www.nursingcenter.com/library/JournalArticle.asp?A...)
• It is a lot cheaper than buying formula

Benefits of breastfeeding extend into adulthood: compared to grownups who were not breastfed as infants, grownups who were breastfed enjoy:

• Lower cholesterols levels, less coronary artery disease, lower rates of ulcerative colitis, lower rates of asthma
• Smaller chance of developing Type 1 diabetes and cancer

And much more!

I'd say give it a try, make sure you have support and see what happens!
Good luck,

Genie, Mamadoula

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S.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.!
There are many pro's and con's to BF. I have two daughters. I BF my 1st until she was about 9-10 months old. She gave it up and I gave her formula. I was devastated, because my goal was a year. My second is 8 months old and I don't think she will ever give it up! That also devastates me :-)! My husband has been great about not being able to touch my breast. And BF really decreases my want for bedroom time. That did come back after the first time I stopped. I do like that I don't have my period. I don't care for pumping at work. Even though it is only 2 days a week. I like that the milk is always ready and the right temp. I like the bonding experience. Nobody else get to feed her when I am around. Wait that might be both a pro and a con! I do not regret my decision to breast feed either of my girls. The studies of benefits are very convincing. Decreasing the risk of SIDS in the first 6 months of life. I think in Australia, BF kids did better in school and that has been confirmed in the US. And in this economy the price is right! Well little girl number 2 is ready to nurse! You decide what works for you. Get help with a lactation consultant either way, they are good for info!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

The analogy that I used for breastfeeding was that it was like eating salad instead of pizza and chinese take-out. It wasn't always quite what I wanted and it was a little more work, but I knew that I was making the healthier choice for both of my kids. That said, especially with my second, I did sometimes (once every couple of days) supplement with a bottle of formula, even right from the beginning. After all, it's okay to eat pizza sometimes, right?

To be honest, I never loved it and actually felt that I "bonded" better with my kids when they were formula fed because it was more relaxing for me and I could concentrate on talking to them more etc etc. Still, again, I felt that the health benefits were worth the extra work. I nursed my daughter exclusively until 4 months and then completely weaned between 8 and 9 months, and weaned my son by the time I went back to work when he was 4 months.

My husband was supportive either way. With both kids I pumped right from the beginning and he could give them the bottles, which he liked. (If you do decide to breastfeed, don't make the mistake of not giving a bottle for a long time, because then some kids are really reluctant to take it).

My advice - try it, really try it, for 3 weeks. If you hate it, then you hate it. But once you get past the hump of the sore nipples, etc, you might find you like it, or at least like it enough to do it for the health benefits. Don't hesitate to call a lactation consultant. Lactation Care in Newton is WONDERFUL and saved my breastfeeding relationship with my son. But also don't hesitate to ultimately make the choice that's best for you and your family without guilt. Breastfeeding is wonderful, but it's no sure thing - both of my kids were sick tons, even when they were still nursing.

Good luck with your expanding family!

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K.S.

answers from Portland on

Hi J.,
I know you have had a ton of responses so I will try and make this short. I breastfed all three of my children and wouldn't have changed it for the world. I found it to be most convenient, I always had a baby blanket to throw over my shoulder when feeding in public so that was never a problem. My husband didn't mind at all. I pumped a lot in the first few weeks so that I had a large supply of breast milk in the freezer and that way if I needed to go somewhere without the baby my husband could feed him. I lost my baby weight quickly while nursing, it is the healthiest thing for your baby and it is a wonderful bonding experience. For me the quiet middle of the night feedings were a very special time. I always had my baby in a cradle right next to my bed and had a soft light I would turn on and it was just a very quiet special bonding time. Yes I was tired but it goes so quickly that I actually miss those times. Yes it tends to hurt for a few weeks but that will pass. I found the lactation consultants to be extremely helpful! I often called them after I left the hospital and they always had great advice. One more thing, with my third I had to eliminate dairy because he couldn't tolerate it but once I got used to it it wasn't a big deal. He nursed for 13 months and now at two and a half he can tolerate dairy fine. So yes I loved breastfeeding and would recommend it but in the end you need to do what you feel is right for you and your baby and feel ok about your choice, whatever it is.
Best of luck!!

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L.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi Jaime,
As I write, I am nursing my 4 week old tomorrow baby boy. I plan on breastfeeding him for at least a year. I was extremely lucky, he apparently had been reading up on breastfeeding in the womb. He came out and latched on as soon as he was offered a nipple, which was minutes after birth. He had a great latch immediately and liked what he got. He isn't an easy baby to burp and sometimes gets a little gassy, but not bad. I don't watch what I eat, although one day I had cabbage and broccoli and that I would recommend thinking about ahead of time.
We had some marathon sessions in the early days. One was 5 1/2 hours. And I swore that inside that beautiful little mouth lurked the beak of a raptor. But after about 2 weeks my nipples were up to the task. And while he will still cluster feed, it's much shorter in duration.
I was confined to my bed for the first few days so we learned to nurse while lying down. This allowed me to feed while sleeping. This was huge. I would wake up, switch sides, doze off again. I also found that nursing while he was in a sling freed me up a lot.
I appreciate the freedom that breastfeeding offers me. We went out with friends for dinner this weekend and when he woke up hungry, I popped him on and all was good. I've spent lots of time with friends who formula fed and while making up bottle isn't a huge hassle, it's much more of one than having the breast at hand.
My husband and I have discussed it and he does not feel overly left out. He has joked that he's not sure that he'd recognize our son without a breast over his face, but I am pumping some and freezing so he'll be able to feed him as well as I do.
Finally, my son looks great, he's gaining weight well, he's healthy (knock on wood) and he's going longer between feedings.

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S.K.

answers from New London on

I will be delivering my 3rd child in August. One of the things I am most looking forward to is nursing again!
I was on the fence with my first child. My mother didn't breast feed so I didn't have a frame of reference for doing it myself. I figured I'd try it out and see how it went, but no pressure. I did read a few books, including "So That's What They're For!", which was so valuable! So I did know the basic facts and a few tips to make it work.
When my first daughter was born, she took to nursing so easily! She practically taught me how. She nursed till she was about 13 months old, only at night for the last month or so.
My second daughter was more difficult. The nurses didn't get her to me until about 2 hrs after she was born by c-section. She was sleepy and just didn't get the latch right until she was about a week old. It was tough, and I was glad she was my second since at least I knew what I was doing! We stuck with it and she continued to nurse until she decided she'd rather have a sippy cup at 9 mos. I pumped till she was a year old.
When I stopped nursing her, I really missed it.
I missed the closeness, and yes I cuddled her when she wasn't nursing, but it's not the same at all. When you nurse your child, your body releases endorphins that relax you and make you feel good. It actually helps you heal after birth. Not to mention helps you feel closer to your baby.
Once you learn about how healthy breast milk is, how your body makes it specially for your own child, how it caters the antibodies and ingredients to what your child needs at that time, there is no way you'll settle for mass produced formula.
Do some research, read some quality books. Besides the other book I mentioned- Dr. Sears has an excellent book.

Don't worry about Daddy! If he reads the same facts about the benefits, he'll be helping you find good nursing positions and checking for a good latch! Dads make excellent breastfeeding coaches. Besides... my husband loved that he never had to get up at night. I just kept the baby next to my bed and nursed her when she needed it. I don't think he even woke up. This meant there was always one of us rested and able to do more with our older daughter. My husband was great about getting me drinks, and doing the other baby chores, like switching the laundry and burping the baby and changing diapers. There was still plenty he could do to feel involved and needed.
To be honest... he also appreciated that my breasts stayed larger quite a bit longer!!! :)

The other thing I can add is that breast feeding your child forces you to take breaks throughout the day. It makes you slow down and have quiet time. Your other children will appreciate this time as well. I always kept books near my favorite nursing spot, and my older daughter knew she had a captive audience for 15 mins or so. I missed those moments when they were done.
Good luck with your decision. You will find moms on both sides of this debate. Yes, formula is a fine choice, it will provide your child with basic nutrition. But there is so much more that you can offer your child.
-S.

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H.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
Bravo for you wanting to try this new experience for you! A definite advantage now is that usually you can have the advice and knowledge of a lactation specialist. She can really help you know what when and how!

I'm a grandma now, but I remember breastfeeding both of my boys and I enjoyed it. I liked the readiness of it--no waiting for a bottle to warm. I found that I could breastfeed in public if I was careful to position the baby correctly and to wear loose clothing. I absolutely loved the baby staring into my eyes with his little hand wrapped around my finger or his hand on my breast. My hubby had no problems with it; in fact, he loved seeing this wonderful all-feminine side of me, the idea of my nourishing the children. I also appreciated the time to sit and relax with my baby instead of trying to get other stuff done. What a great excuse!

Hope this helps. You'll probably get other advice from those who didn't have good experiences or who feel that bottle-feeding is best. Great--then you can confidently make the choice you want without any guilt.

H.

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D.M.

answers from Boston on

I tried it with my first and she took to it really well, it was a little challenging in the hospital (they gave her a bottle and she liked the flow), but we got over that. Overall, i think it is an amazing experience, and the ties to your baby are wonderful. I think it is worth trying if you haven't and you want to. I did it for 7 months (pumping at work after maternity leave) and since my milk wasn't enough in QTY we had to supplement with bottles anyway, so she was used to both BM and formula (which was helpful on Daddy shifts). You do need a breastpump for when you come home from the hospital (when your milk is coming in you need some help with the pump). Since i had to go back to work, i invested in the expensive medela (built into the tote bag) and it was great.

The best advice that worked for me is that the BF people will scare you to death, "if your baby drinks from a bottle in the first 3 months that they might never breastfeed again and you'll have to pump". That does happen in some instances I'm sure, but it didn't in mine and the maternity nurse said not to panic over the baby using a bottle especially when they are not getting enough to eat (no choice really).

I also have to be honest and it was also challenging, you have to stay away from certain foods, the baby may need gas drops (use the natural ones vs mylecon), and you will feel very tied to the baby since you are the main source of food, plus you have to pump or BF often (every 2 or 3 hrs) which leaves certain day-long activities out unless you can slink off for 15 minutes privately to pump or much longer to nurse. Do-able for a short period of time in my life, esp given the benefits. I took off 3 months and I felt great about it, but when i went to work I had to pump 2x at first then i backed it off to 1x a day. The less you pump the supply decreases. then i went to only morning and night (no pumping in day), then only night and by then she was not as interested.

We're hoping for #2 and I definitely plan to BF. Helped keep the immunity up for a while, and once she got to daycare and off of breastmilk she did get sick more often. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

J.,

I won't go into the benefits for you and your baby, I'm sure you already know them. I do breastfeed and love it, but it is a commitment of time. You can breastfeed while reading books to your 2 year old but the newborn will nurse a lot around the clock. You need to be mentally prepared to sit and nurse in the middle of the night as well as during the day. However, I found it quicker in the middle of the night since I didn't have to heat up a bottle with a crying baby in my arms. I just picked her up and sat down and started to nurse. It is a comfort and a closeness that is unmatched.

As for my husband he doesn't feel left out and is glad that I'm nursing. You can always pump if you want your husband or kids to give a bottle and be involved.

In the end it is something that you either love or not. If you love it you will always love it but if not then you won't. You can also try and if you don't like it you can stop.

A good source if you need help is La Leche League. www.llli.org The women are fabulous. You can call and they will give you advice and they have monthly meetings but if you have questions don't wait for a meeting definitely call them.

Good luck,
L. M

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