26 answers

Breastfeeding - Henderson,NV

To breastfeed or not? I have 1 child and my sister has 2 with 1 on the way. She breastfed I didn't we are both stay at home moms, I am a smoker, she is not. I did not smoke during my pregnancy. My child had very few sick visits to the doctor. 1 ear infection and a fever when she was cutting teeth and she was always above average on height and weight. We have big babies.. My breastfed nephew had to take iron supplments, had jaundice, spit up all the time, way more than mine, has had numerous ear infections, had to have tubes, and is allergic to all forms of penicillin, which made it hard for the dr to treat his ears. Since the tubes he has had 2 ear infections. He is extremly clumsy and uncoordinated, but he is very smart he also was also above average in height and weight until he was 1mo and he fell to the 25th percentile in weight. He is 4yrs and is still below average in weight still in the 25th percentile. He was breastfed exclusively for the first year...never took the bottle. My niece was also breastfed the first year as well and she is 1 yr and again she has been sick, she has had numerous ear infections. My sister is very insistant that breastfeeding is better. My niece as well is allergic to all forms of penicillin and she is difficult to treat with antibiotics. When both of them were born I helped my sister as much as i could. I would do as much as i could to let her rest as much as possible. But with the breastfeeding it was impossible to let her rest. They both ate every three hours and they both would eat for an hour. and by the time they were finished and changed and my sister would eat or shower it was time to eat again. She has #3 on the way I am trying to discourage her from breastfeeding with this one, seeing that she will never have any down time, it was very difficult for ther to breastfeed and tend to the first child now she is having another on with a 2yr old and a 5yr old. Is it wrong of my to try to convince her to bottle feed? I am sure that breastfeeding has a beneficial side to it but I have yet to see it. Can someone enlighten me and tell me how to be supportive of her decisions. Thanks for your help.

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So What Happened?™

Thanks for all the feedback and for not being too hard on me. I know this is a very touchy subject. It is her decision and whatever she decides I will respect her and I will always be there to help where I am able. I love my sister dearly. She is my little sister and there is only a 13 mo age difference between us, Although I do feel she didn't get all the enjoyment out of breastfeeding as she thought she would she complains alot about having to breastfeed again. I always try to be logical and I respect all of your opinions. Just a thought to all of us, including me...breastfeeding should not be pushed onto a new mom, just as formula feeding should not be pushed. I really don't think one or the other has that big of difference on a childs life and either way a mother decideds should not be critiqued. Thanks for helping me remember that.

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I think it is wrong of you to try to convince her, sister or not!!! They are her children and her body. If she wants to breastfeed, GOOD FOR HER!!!
My daughter(2yrsold) was breastfed for 17 months and has been sick once, and not allergic to anything. She was also in the 90th percent for weight!! Each child is different!!!
Breastfeeding is best, no formula will EVER compare to what a mother can supply for her baby!!!

3 moms found this helpful

I've seen the same sort of anecdotal evidence as you with my kids, other people's kids etc. People are so adamant about breast feeding and I guess statistically they're right but like you, I haven't seen it. But I think the bigger issue is it's her decision. She's an adult. If she wants to make it "harder" on herself, it's her problem. I wouldn't feel obligated as her sister to pitch in extra bc of it. She decided to have 3 children and if she breast feeds, her decision too and therefore it's all her responsibility unless you just have lots of free time you want to give her. If you've mentioned it, I'd leave it alone and let her deal with it all.

2 moms found this helpful

Don/t waste time on this debate.
The science isn't really there and breast milk is not tested.
Ever baby is different and every mother is different.
Formula is fine and gives the mother more time, but maybe she
prefers to breast feed. Most babies do fine and with modern
medicine things usually go fine. Forget the argument and
what ever is done works.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

While I appreciate your concern, I think it is wrong. It is her choice, not yours, as to whether she breastfeeds. If you want to help her out you could offer to entertain the older children for a bit.

7 moms found this helpful

Correlation is not causation--your sister's kids are antidotal stories but they don't prove that formula is better than breast milk. There have been so many peer-reviewed, replicated studies that conclude that breast milk is a better source of food for babies than formula and two cases can't refute those findings. My own antidotal story would completely support the findings...I put my baby in daycare at 7 months and continued to breastfeed and he didn't get sick or get an ear infection until he was 18 months old and I had quit breastfeeding. So, who knows how sick her kids would have been if she didn't breastfeed! Finally, it has to be a mother's decision. Maybe she finds it emotionally fulfilling etc. It is really hard work (I'm breastfeeding my second), so the more support you can get the better. It's also free! I'm sure your sister appreciates your help so, so much--but you're not doing her any favors by trying to convince her not to breastfeed.

7 moms found this helpful

Just a guess - you're the older sister?

It's possible that her kids would be even less healthy if they were formula fed. Or the same. Based upon your logic, you could claim that having a mom who smokes prior to getting pregnant makes for healthier kids. Are you going to try to convince her to take that up? Probably not....

How can you support your sister? A good start would be to treat her choice as you'd like yours treated. Don't assume your actions are inherently superior just because things turned out better for you and your kids. Count your blessings. And give support by helping with the older kids, if you can.

Yes, breastfeeding can be exhausting, but telling her she'd get more rest if she didn't do it is not supportive.

Good luck to you.

5 moms found this helpful

sorry to say but YES it is wrong to tell her not to breast feed! I breast fed all 3 of mine, they were all huge girls, around the 90th percentile & up. Im still breastfeeding my little one. My oldest daughter who is almost 21, was given some formula and ended up with a milk intolerance that has so far been lifelong. Breastfeeding can be time consuming, but not always, while my middle child seemed to nurse 24/7, my little one now takes about 10 min, and drains me. As for drug allergies, breastfeeding wouldnt encourage them, formula would. Im allergic to penicillin and sulpha, and really havent had a problem using alternatives. and I was formula fed. cows milk is for baby cows. we are the only mammal that gives milk from another animal to our babies, and i personally think its wrong when its not necessary.

4 moms found this helpful

Ill say it

breastfeeding is better, no matter what circumstantial statistical excuses may present themselves in error or in coincidence. No mother should ever be shamed for NOT doing it, but certainly with 100 %certainty no mother should ever be convinced not to as well.

Its the best thing for the mom and the baby the majority of the time (barring unforseen medical issues or medicine)Your sister is right to breatfeed, even with a bad track record.

formula will never be an adequate replacement, in my personal opinion should only be used for emergency cases. I dont think it should ever be the way to go.

4 moms found this helpful

Breastmilk has been proven to be the best way to feed your child. Even the formula companies will tell you that. I breastfed both of my children. Neither one has any allergies, major illnesses or problems with their weight. My 3 year old is in the 90th percentile for height and 70th for weight. She's the smartest kid I know and a crazy active child.
Maybe the genetics of your sisters kids have more to do with it than the way they were fed as infants.

4 moms found this helpful

Trust me, I hear exactly what you are saying BUT...

If you want to be supportive of her decisions, you'll do nothing of the sort and allow her to choose how she wants to feed her children. Her babies, her choice.

I've been on the receiving end of the "Oh my goodness you didn't breastfeed?!?! Your kids will DIE!" mentality and it is nothing short of annoying. I can only guess that nursing mothers who get similar grief feel the same level of frustration.

She has to live with her choices, not you. While you may think bottle feeding is best for her, it's her choice. Be supportive of whatever decision she makes.

3 moms found this helpful

I can see where you're coming from but ultimately it will have to be her decision. A sample size of three kids is kind of small to draw a definitive conclusion regarding the benefits and drawbacks to breastfeeding. I think that every woman who answers this question will report a different experience but here's mine: Two kids, 1 exclusively breastfed x 5 months, then changed to formula and breastmilk x 1 month, then just formula; the other child fed with both formula and breastmilk from birth. Both kids have had zero ear infections, no antibiotics (they are 3 and 5 now), are healthy and smart. My sister-in-law had problems breastfeeding my niece so she was on formula from about week 2. She has been on antibiotics at least 5 times; she is now 2 years old and seems to have allergies and ear infections all the time. I tell you this not to shoot a hole in your theory but to point out that there will be as diverse a group of stories, as there are children. I'm sure it's tough to stand by and watch your sister do something you disagree with but you sound like an intelligent person who will do the right thing. Oh, and P.S. I smoked for 10 years and giving it up was both the most difficult and most rewarding thing I have ever done besides giving birth.

3 moms found this helpful

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