34 answers

Breastfeeding - Queen Creek,AZ

My newborn baby won't breastfeed. I'm engorged and he can't detect my nipples. He just cries and won't latch on.

What can I do next?

More Answers

They were supposed to help you learn how to get him to latch on in the hospital. If they didn't, you need to get a nurse to help you or a close relative - mom, sister, aunt, etc. Some babies have a hard time learning it, but they all can! Good luck!

First you need to pump so you are not engorged and it will be easier for baby to latch on. You may want to hire a Lactation Consultant. I hired one because my daughter was having trouble latching on and it was even my second child! They are worth the money.

Check out this website http://www.drjacknewman.com/. Especially the video clips. I would also recommend pumping to lessen the engorgement and to shape your nipple so that it's easier for your baby to latch onto. Good luck. It's worth all the effort.

E....if you are in Albuquerque, please go to the breastfeeding support group at the Presbyterian Hospital on I-25 and Central on Thursday at 11am. It is on the 5th floor if you take the elevator at the entry level of the garage or the East end of the Hospital. It is free. It doesn't matter if you had your baby there or somewhere else. It doesn't matter if you are late. I've been going for 10 months. It will SAVE your breastfeeding. There are lactation consultants and TONS of Moms who have had every issue. It has been really packed lately, but if you get there by 11:15, you should get a seat. Call me anytime or right before and I will meet you at the entrance. K. ###-###-#### (baby James is 11 months old and 100% breastfeeding still)

E.! Hang in there!! I had such a hard time in the very beginning. If you have a pump then pump for 20 minutes on each side (if you have a double pump then pump both sides at the same time for 20 mins). This will help keep you from being engorged and will help make your breasts softer so baby can latch on. Babies have a hard time latching when you're engorged because your breast is so hard they can't suck it into their mouth. If you don't have a pump then you can buy a breastshield from Target or babies'r'us...they're made by Medela. Anyway, you put that over your nipple and areola and it helps give baby something to latch on to. You can also try massaging your breast while the baby nurses to help your milk come down...and you can even kind of "milk" yourself to help get some milk out.

If you do pump, give the milk to your baby from a bottle...but make it kinda hard for baby to drink from the bottle...pull the nipple out every so often, etc. Don't be alarmed by the small amount of milk you might get...newborns don't eat very much at one time.

I attend a weekly breastfeeding group and I'd be happy to invite you as a guest...if you're interested send me a message.

Good luck!
I wanted to add after reading posts about the lactation consultants that our mom's group has a lactation consultant there (that's who conducts it)...it's free of charge! Also, if you delivered at Banner you can call them and let them know you delivered there and are having issues and ask to schedule an appt with one of their lactation consultants....I delivered at Banner Gateway and the lactation consultants are wonderful...let me know if you want more info about the breastfeeding mom's group...

Use nipple shields... my sister had the same problem & the nipple shields really helped pull her nipples out! Blessings!

Don't give up, breastfeeding is the best thing I could've done for my baby! Hang in there, it hurts at first, but if you talk to Doris, she "solves it all." I literally could not have done it without her. She also has a BF support group every Thursday. She's amazing. Pump-n-go.com
I know you must be in agonizing pain you poor thing, so here is her number too, off of her website, to make it easy to just dial: ###-###-####
Tell her Amie's mom - L. Murray sent you. Good luck to you, hang in there,
and the posts about pumping a little to release the pressure (to avoid mastitis) until the lc can get to you is a good idea - I'm sure Doris will explain that to you over the phone. Good luck, ~L

Hi E.,

I just wanted to all that the Lactaion Nurse will also check to see if your child is tongue tied. this will prevent him from nursing well.

Hi E.. What part of town are you in? There is a nursing mothers support group that meets weekly at Thunderbird hospital that was great, the lactation consultants can help, plus you get support of other mothers!

Also, I agree with everyone about pumping, just pump until you are softer (just a bit) and try again. Remember, your baby will feed off of your emotion and frustration, too, so try to calm yourself and do this when you are both calm, if he's already angry, he'll never latch on. Good luck.

I had the same problem...CALL A LACTATION CONSULTANT!!! It was the best money I ever spent. My son has been breastfeeding great for the last year. If money is tight for you Banner Gateway Hospital also offers a breastfeeding support group that is open for any moms(even if you didn't deliver there) on Thursdays at 10. There is a lactation consultant there who offers free help. It also helps being around other moms who can sympathize and support you. If you want some more info you can call me at ###-###-####.

hey E.. Make sure your pumping to get the milk out and keep it coming in!! that is an issue i had with my son! Also try going into the quietest room in the house with no distractions...turn the light low. That helped with my son, it really made a huge difference! Hang in there...I can be tough at time, trust me i know!!
Best of luck to you!

call the hospital and get a hold of a lactation consultant ASAP!! You can get mastitis and get really sick. Hopefully the baby takes bottles?!?!

I had to use a nipple shield as well available through Babies R Us, Target, and the hospital. He won't want the breast cuz the nurse had to give him the bottle cuz of his jundice so when it came to breast feeding he threw a fit! I used the nipple shield for 2 months and pump as well.

Find the closest La Leche meeting and ask the leaders there or call them (usually on the website there is a leader's phone number you can call). The website for AZ is http://www.lllofaz.org/. I was a little vervous to go at first but once I was there, it was so helpful. Also, you can call Baby, Mother and More in Gilbert and they have a lactation consultant you can meet with or talk to over the phone. http://www.milksmile.com/ Lastly, it sounds like you may have just had your baby, so call the lactation consultant at the hospital where you had your baby. It made take a couple calls or transfers to get a hold of her but it is worth it. Most important, DONT GIVE UP. It took my little girl and I about 2 months to get the true hand of it, but once we did it was so amazing. There is nothing like that connection and that feeling that not only did you grow that baby but you can also nourish him and sustain him. Good Luck and don't be afraid to use the resources available to you at little to no cost. Asking for help may be hard at first, but you have already taken the first step by asking on mamasource. :)

You should definitely contact a lactation consultant and work to try and get your baby to breastfeed, HOWEVER, there is always a chance that he won't. I nursed my son for 6 months and he did fine. With my daughter, I couldn't get her to stay latched on to save my life and after many attempts, bleeding nipples and a crying, hungry baby, I realized that she just wasn't going to do it. I felt so guilty and would just cry, but after awhile and consulting with the pediatrician, I realized that the bottle was going to work best for my daughter. Keep on trying, but if it doesn't work out, it's okay and your baby will be fine. Maybe you can just pump and bottle feed so that the baby still gets the nutrition. Good luck.

God did not bless me with large nipples. When I had my first son, my milk came in even before I gave birth, so naturally I thought it would be easy to breastfeed. However, he could not latch on to my nipple. I went to the breastfeeding store and purchased a plastic cup that went over my breast. It went right in my bra and had a little hole for my nipple to go into. I would wear the cups when my son was not breastfeeding and it literally pulled my nipple out. I had to wear lots of breast pads, as the milk came out as well. When the cup would get full, I would empty it into a bottle for my son to eat later with dad.

These cups helped tremendously with making my nipple more obvious to my son. I do not know what it was called, but it was made by Medela. I bought them from Baby, Mother and More on Gilbert and Baseline.

Another suggestion is to try holding your baby a different way. It really helped me to lay on my side in bed, with the lights off and to relax. My son seemed to be more relaxed with this approach. I would play soft music and keep all other distractions out of the room.

I wish you the best of luck-don't give up. Call a lactation consultant right away, so that you can make sure that your son is getting the proper nutrition. If he has a pacifier take that away, if only for a few days. Nipple confusion is real and until he learns which one feeds him, he needs to be off of the pacifier. I believe in pacifiers, just not at the beginning when they are trying to latch on.

Not all lactation consultants are created equal. Call Doris. She can help.


The hospital aides don't always have the experience/education that they need to help everyone. Doris does. :D This is not an ad, just a very satisfied customer. Please call her. It was the best thing I ever did for feeding my 3 babies.

I had flat nipplies and breastfeeding was rough in the beginning. I had to use a nipple shield (avalable through Babies R Us and the hospitlal) for the first few months. Then, I weaned him from the shield and BF him just fine after that because it fixed my nipples. You can also pump for a minute before feeding him. Don't pump too much, though, or your breasts will think they need to make that much milk for him and you will keep being engorged. Your milk supply should even out soon too :). I'd recommend calling the LLL though and getting their advice.


Try and buy a nipple cover from Target. It is in the isle by the breast pumps. This gives the baby more to try and latch onto. I had to do this and it really helped. Good luck. Keep pumping so you can keep your supply up until you can get him to latch on! :-)

Don't panic!
The previous post had wonderful advice but might I add that if nothing seems to work get to a lactation consultant ASAP!
I had to visit one with each baby. They each nursed differently and had their own unique difficulties. It is money sooooo well spent! One session will save you such heartache (just look in the phone book).
I got infections very easily from engorged and clogged breasts so do not let this situation continue very long...

Contact La Leche League. They are the best.

Also, you need to express your milk, or you could get an infection. Start with a warm shower and get that milk out. Gently squeeze and press the milk out. Don't worry, you'll make more!

Don't worry about baby, yet. Take care of yourself! Trust me. My first didn't nurse for a week, after that, I couldn't get him off!

You need a breast pump to express your milk...it's a good idea to have one anyway, because even when you are experienced and nursing a lot, you can still become engorged and you need to get that milk out. You don't need an expensive one...I got one that is electric/battery and only does one breast at a time. Plus, you can eventually leave a bottle with a caregiver if you have to run out. But I digress...

Keep working with your baby. Just be patient. I got frantic and was crying and everything and it all worked out.

Ditto about Mary Wisneski, she is the best!

Call a lactation specialist. That's your best bet. Also, many hospitals have a breastfeeding support group. If you go to your hospital's website, you can probably follow links from the maternity area to the support group.

Ditto on the advice that Lauren gave you - Doris is the best!! And don't give up on the breastfeeding - it really is the best thing you can do for your baby. Doris will get you both on track!!

Try pumping it out a little to get it going. Then dry it off with a towel. Let the baby try to nurse and keep drying it off. My nipple would get wet and the baby would just slide around and not be able to latch on. If that doesn't work, call the hospital and ask if you can make an appointment with a lactation specialist ASAP who will then give you a nipple shield. It goes ove your nipple and the baby suckles your nipple up through it like a straw. In the mean time you can pump the milk and feed the baby with the bottle of your milk.

most hospital have a lactaid specialist on staff. You might want to call the hospital and get the number. They can show you different tecniques on how to get them to latch on. I know they had one at presbyterian. My daughter never got the hang of breastfeeding I had to pump and then feed her with a bottle. Good luck and hang in there he'll get it.


Bless your heart. I have nothing new to offer all the great advice you've gotten. But I wanted to reiterate that Mary is wonderful - she is at Babies, Mothers and More at Gilbert/Southern. The nipple shields helped me with my first one as well. I want to say, as odd as this sound, if you squeeze your nipple flat between your 2nd and 3rd finger (like a cigarette?!), it helps make it easier for your baby to find. This is what helped me once upon a time. Do pump a bit so you're more comfortable, you'll be glad to have the extra milk later on.

Good luck!!!!

I've been a lactation counselor for about 12 years now. If you'd like, you can give me a call. If I don't answer right away, that means I'm with a client, but leave a message and I'll call you right back.


Wow! You poor thing! I don't have expert advice, but I do remember that once you are engorged a baby having trouble breastfeeding will have even way more trouble. I would definately pump, just long enough to relieve the engorgement but not long enough to empty the breast and then try again right after you finish the pumping. If you don't have a pump, you can usually drain at least a tiny bit with your fingers, massaging the area.
I would call a lactation consultant right away as well. There's not many problems that can't be fixed but you have to get up the courage to ask for help immediately before the milk dries up.

"Tritto" about Mary. Have you called yet? ###-###-#### I used her over the phone at about 6 weeks in because I was major sore. I left her a message and she called me back very soon. Or Alison H who posted her number to you. I know you need help this moment, so call if you havent already. Let us know...
Good luck to you and stick with it if you can. It is so worth it.

Call a Lactation specialist RIGHT AWAY!
Sue Disilvestro ###-###-#### (She's a midwife)

Good for you for breast feeding!!! What helped me with my two was to pump when I was engorged, but save that milk until they were better at breast feeding. Then your nipple will reappear and you won't be in such pain, but your baby won't get used to the ease of the bottle nipple either. Good luck! If you need anything else, just send me a message!

Call Mary Wisneski at ###-###-####

She was recommended to me by my pediatrician. I had the same problem and had to pump for a few days. I called Mary about 3-4 times and she was so patient and helpful. She helped me over the phone and never charged any money. She will also do home visits.

Good luck....it does get easier. Just stick with it. I was ready to give up when I got engorged but I'm glad I didn't.

E.: You are not alone. This is a common problem, but there is hope. First, you can try breast pumping until your breasts begin to soften (about an ounce each side), and then try to get your baby to latch on then. Sometimes you have to roll your nipple between your thumb and index finger to get it to stand erect enough for the baby to latch. If this doesn't help, PLEASE call the hospital OB unit where you delivered and tell them you need help breastfeeding TODAY. Usually, lactation consultants are more than happy to help you even if you are no longer in the hospital. I know Banner Desert has a fantastic outpatient Milk Clinic and I have even received help from them over the phone.
Breastfeeding may be natural, but it is not easy. However, I can tell you from nursing my 2 kids IT IS WORTH ALL THE EFFORT YOU PUT INTO IT. I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding my first child, so you have my empathy. Best wishes! R. married nurse midwife & mom of 2

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