Breastfeed or Not?

Oh, Lord! Here we go!

The bottom line is this: You need to do & find out & decide what is best for YOUR family. No one else's....YOURS.

Why not go into it with an open mind, try it & see how it goes?

I chose to formula feed my son, and as you know with your kids, it doesn't result in a Godzilla creature or anything like that. It doesn't make you 'wrong' or a 'bad mom'!

Formula is not poison and a bottle of formula lovingly given by a happy mom is better than a breast from a stressed out, guilt ridden mom.

12 moms found this helpful

Hi S. - Congratulations on your pregnancy, and on considering breast feeding this time around. I would suggest that for the first 6 weeks at least, you breastfeed exclusively to get your milk supply well-established. You ask what the difference would be if you just pumped from the get-go, and the difference is that a newborn needs to be close to you, and taking 25 minute pumping breaks every 3 hours pretty much means that you can't be with your l.o. at those times. Spend the time holding and letting your baby nurse on demand, and don't worry about figuring out pumping schedules and all that yet. During this time, if there are others besides your family around, you might need to go to your bedroom for feedings.

I think your biggest hurdles are 1. That no one you know has done it. 2. That you are having a hard time thinking of your breasts without the sexual connotation, and 3. That you fear that it's going to be painful.

To help with 1, it would help to get around some moms that are nursing. See if there's a new moms group meeting anywhere in your area. Let them know that you have never been around bfing, and want to learn. A little exposure can go a long way. If there's nothing in your local area, try the KellyMom website. It's awesome for bfing moms.

To help with 2, my suggestion would be that you have a talk with your husband, and later with your boys, about the breastfeeding. Tell your DH that you really want to succeed at it, and that his support would mean a lot to you. Show him some articles about all the ways it's better than formula, and start getting him used to the idea that your boobs are going to be serving a higher purpose for a while. As for the boys, my personal thought is that you're going to have to tell them that since you're going to be feeding the little one, they might occasionally see a little skin. You can try to be modest, but you should trust that they are capable of seeing a little of your chest without wigging out. That's how I've done it, and we've all survived with our morals and our dignity intact. :) In fact, it's probably good for them to know that humans feed their babies this way. I have a sister who is very fundamentalist Christian, and she has raised 6 breastfed babies without ever having any of them older than 3 see her when she is nursing. She goes to her room, and closes the door, and they are not allowed in until she is done. I personally think this is silly body-shame prudery, and possibly dangerous, since her kids are periodically unsupervised, but I applaud her commitment to her religion and her kids nutrition.

As for #3, at the beginning, it does cause your uterus to contract, which is uncomfortable, but it's also helping your body recover from the delivery. For me at least, that's the only pain I've had, and I have nursed 4 babies. For me, regular nursing feels pleasant and almost like nothing at all, if I'm doing it right. Sometimes my hand will go to sleep from being held in the same position too long. Sometimes my kid latches on to next to my nipple instead of ON my nipple, and that hurts like the devil until I move him over. I have had minor issues 2 or 3 times with plugged ducts, but I dealt with them promptly and they went away. I have never had cracked nipples or any problems like that - I don't know much about that, but I don't think it's so common.

For me, breastfeeding has been a sweet part of my life, and it has helped me to love my babies, and to love my body, because despite its imperfections, it can do the most amazing stuff!!! Best of luck to you, whatever you end up doing!

5 moms found this helpful

It hurts in the beginning but moms can get through it. It gets easier and eventually doesn't hurt. It seems like the first month was the hardest. You can breastfeed and stay covered up. I got nursing tanks from Target that was awesome for keeping discreet. I have 5 kids and they were all a part of helping with burping and changing but I just breastfed. Some women are pros at pumping but generally speaking babies are much more efficient at getting the milk out and sometimes if they're getting both the bottle and breast, it makes it harder to continue. Just something to keep in mind so if you notice a decrease in milk supply or baby not nursing as well, you can breast feed more and do the bottle less. Sometimes if you're self conscience of what others think or of how involved others want to be, it could make it more difficult. Not saingy it's a bad idea, but if you're aware of it, it might help you stay successful and have a good experience. Doing it this way may make it more difficult but if you keep that in mind, it'll help. Good luck and congratulations.

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I "learned" about breastfeeding from a friend who I call an "earth mother" - she's an amazing woman and a great mom and really inspired me. No one in my family breastfed. My MIL did, but that was ages ago and she had a hard time.

I recommend getting a referral to a lactation consultant that will work with you toward your goal of family inclusive breastfeeding. You may find that you'll be OK about nursing in front of your children because you WILL separate breastfeeding from "breasts", and so will your kids. You may become comfortable nursing in front of people as you become skilled at maneuvering your baby, clothing, and coverup to the point where you can nurse anywhere. I nursed my son at a baseball game and I don't think anyone noticed cause I had a very cool cover (http://www.bebeaulait.com/hooter-hidersv.php?gclid=CJeQkN...)

I had shingles right after I gave birth and it screwed things up, so it was painful for me to get back on track, BUT my lactation consultant helped me and I was able to BF until my son was 2.5 years old. It didn't hurt and was very nice. My friend said her letdown felt like champagne bubbles LOL!

It's a very individual thing. Don't let anyone pressure you not to. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty if it doesn't work. You're very brave for wanting to do something that you've never done before. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

In the beginning breastfeeding can be very painful. After nursing both of mine I have to say it is not for the faint of heart LOL. It can take a lot of blood sweat and tears. I would not have had it any other way. In order to succeed you must have a strong support system. I'd almost have to say that your whole family has to be on board.

If you seriously want to give it a try than you need to request a lactation consultant at the hospital because it does not come naturally for all babies. Make sure you have the lactation hotline's number before you leave because you will continue to need their support as you journey through breastfeeding. You may even want to take a prenatal breastfeeding class.

All babies are different. I did not have to alter my diet but some babies will be more gassy from onions, broccoli, etc in your diet. My first one would not take a bottle while my second would.

It is a journey with a lot of trials and tribulations. Despite all of that it is very rewarding so I do hope you will consider trying it.

I wish you all the best!

2 moms found this helpful

You said that breast feeding is the best for the baby? Yeah it's good and I'm sure I'm on the not-so-popular side but there hasn't been a single credible medical study that showed breast milk is more beneficial for the baby vs. formula. You see all kinds of articles showing how your kid will be smart, learn better etc. but every brilliantly smart person I know was formula fed so I'm having trouble buying that 100%. I chose not to breast feed because I have implants and it wrecks your boobs, I don't care if anyone calls me selfish! I liked the boobs I paid for and I didn't want to be the only one that could feed the baby.. so that was our choice. It didn't help that my milk came in 3 weeks after she was born but my mind had been made up.. This go round I'm getting antibiotics to stop milk production. Breast feeding is great if you want to do it but it's not the only option and don't let mom's bully you into feeling guilty for your decisions. You aren't any less of a mom if you choose not to, trust me. I'd take your husbands opinions into consideration it's neat he has an opinion and the men are often left out of the decision making process.. talk it over and stick with what you decide!

ADDED: I will say the colostrum is hugely beneficial but after that the dr. told me that it was just preference. And yes you can trust what's in formula, there's a reason we have the FDA and this stuff is studied, tested, then studied some more.

2 moms found this helpful

I know plenty of people who pumped and fed their baby solely with the bottle. The baby is getting the benefits of the breast milk and the mom is able to pass off feeding to others. I would, however, recommend a good pump which will run you $200-300. My SIL gave me hers and that helped a lot. I would pump fairly frequently in the beginning in order to keep your milk supply up. Your body produces milk as much as it senses you are needing it. Thus, the more you pump, the more you produce.

In terms of eating and drinking, stay away from caffeine and alcohol for sure. Evey once in a while, I would have a glass of wine and breastfeed my daughter a few hours later and that never seemed to bother her. I ate just about whatever I wanted (I did stay away from high mercury fish, though). A lot will depend on your baby and his/her tolerance. I didn't have to give up anything because my daughter had no allergies or digestive problems, however some of my friends had to give up dairy, wheat, soy, etc due to their babies having issues. That's just a wait and see thing.

Pain- I'm not going to lie... there were some times in the beginning that were very painful. I scabbed over on one nipple because my nipples weren't used to that much friction! I put some Lansinoh (sp?) on them and it was fine within 2 days. Once I understood how to help my baby get a better latch, it was perfect. I found a really amazing lactation consultant within the first week to help me. Her advice was invaluable and I tell every new mom to find one in her area. Your hospital will have one but my experience is that they're never that helpful.

Breastfeeding has been one of the best things about motherhood for me. My daughter is now 15 months old and is weaning herself and I'm a little sad. We bonded so much because of it. She also developed a really strong immune system from breastfeeding. While most kids at her daycare got sick once a month, she got sick maybe a 3-4 times all year. When she did get sick, she was down 3-5 days while other kids with the same thing were down 7-10. I cannot stress enough how great the whole experience has been.

Since you don't know anyone who has ever breastfed, I would recommend going to a breastfeeding class. Not only will you get some good tips, but you'll also meet other couples who will do it and you can develop a support network. Personally, I think every woman needs that when she starts. It's hard work but you'll never regret it!

2 moms found this helpful

Going to be brief here. I breastfed all four of my kids (supplemented with formula with my first). No one has to see your breast while you breast feed, there are wonderful lightweight blankets just for this purpose. If it is painful then the baby is not latched on correctly. Your children can bond with bath time, diaper changes and playing with/holding the baby, not feeding the baby themselves is not going to create a chasm. Whatever you end up doing, your baby will be just fine!

2 moms found this helpful

Give it a try. It's a nice bonding experience. And it's the best for your baby. No, you don't have to breastfeed in front of people. You can excuse yourself - that's what I did. And people do somewhat understand that you do need your privacy.
You can also pump from day one. It's better than formula feeding. My son was premature , so I had to pump for him. I felt it was more work , because I had to spend time pumping and cleaning the pump parts and bottles. And then feed him. I just gave one bottle a day, but still was lot of work. Breastfeeding was easy. It wasn't painful for me at all. I was engorged couple times , that's when it got painful. But actual process of breastfeeding or pumping wasn't painful at all. I used to get a LOT while pumping but I have heard some moms have tough time getting any milk while pumping.
Yes in the initial days you need to be little careful about your diet. My doc said I can eat everything but sometimes baby may end up gassy or even get some allergies(i have heard), so you might have to avoid those food from your diet. Basically baby is getting all nutrients from you , so it's important you eat healthy, drink lots of water etc.

2 moms found this helpful

I have not read all the answers, sorry to everyone & you, if I repeat. Baby is bout to wake up, so trying to be quik & to the point. 1) Your two older boys will think nothing of you popping out your boob to feed the baby,. well, my 7 yr old, didn't. It's like he knew it was the natural thing to do. He never even asked about it. 2) Pumping to bottle feed is really hard & defeats part of the purpose of breastfeeding, due to the easinesse of not having to deal w/ bottles or warming milk. There are lots of other ways ,others can be involved in baby care. I think you would feel that you you were pumping all the time.3) There are some foods that the baby may not tolerate, that you may have to eliminate but you will figure it out. No " gassy" foods for one of my kids. 4) About the pain, it can be painful & frustrating for both you & baby but it gets so much better as time goes by ( for me about 8 wks). My 1st son I didn't BF due to medical reasons. So when I had my 2nd, I decided I would see what happened. I BF him for 9mos, until he self weaned. It was the hardest but biggest accomplishment. I'm so glad I stuck it out, through the pain & frustration. 3rd son, BF for 13 mos. Not so much pain but more frustration because of poor weight gain due to poor milk supply. Again , so glad I stuck it out. Oh, also I'm a very shy nurser, wouldn't do it in front of many, so I did miss some stuff but still worth it. Lastly, this is my experience. You need to do what works for you & your family & baby. Your other kids were formula fed & turned out great & so will this one, if BFing isn't the path you choose. Again do what YOU feel comfortable with. Do it because it feels right & you enjoy it, not because you feel pushed into doing it. Good Luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Congratulations mom!

I had to pump round the clock for my preemie and then for about6 weeks once he got home. It is extremely taxing to have to go that route. I can not begin to tell you how much easier life was once I taught him to nurse. It can be done but like I said it is much, much tougher than just actually learning how to nurse baby and get on with the day lol! I would have to feed my son, then pump for at least 20 minutes, then clean up all the pump parts, store the milk and get ready to start again. And when baby will eat every 1.5-3 hours that gets tiring very quick.

I want to reassure you that nursing in front of people absolutely *do not* mean you have to show your breasts! Not at all! Hooter Hiders is a fantastic cover that will allow you as much privacy as you need. Also, wearing a nursing tank under your regular shirt ensures that every inch of your skin is covered if that's what you feel like you need. I got to the point with my second that I walked around Disney World nursing her without a cover up on and not one person could tell what I was doing!

With both of my kids I was able to eat anything and everything! The vast majority of babies have zero problems with what mom eats.

There is so much more your kids can do with the baby besides feedings. Personally, I'm not a fan of children giving bottle feedings to infants. They inevitably don't hold the bottle in a proper position, it's hard for them to hold baby in the proper position and I really feel like baby needs to be held close, looked into their eyes and talked to while they are nursing/bottle feeding. Younger children just can't do this. Your other kids can help with diaper changes, bath time, reading stories to baby, pushing the stroller, holding baby, getting baby's supplies that you need, etc.

The first couple of days breastfeeding can be a little ouchy (def not painful) but that is because your body is getting used to it and it causes the uterus to contract back down much quicker (and better for mom) that not breastfeeding. After that first bit it's very easy to do.

Martha Sears has a fantastic, non-pushy breastfeeding book that has lots and lots of great info. And it's not a huge book so a very easy read. And your hospital should offer a breastfeeding class.

And honestly, it doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. You can set a schedule for when you'll nurse and when you might offer a bottle if you feel like that might be a better compromise for your family. Your body will adjust and know how much milk to make. But for me, I didn't want to deal with all the bottle hassle-especially in the middle of the night! I would bring my little ones to bed, they would nurse and we would both get lots more sleep. I just baby sat my bottle fed niece. The middle of the night was just crazy to me-had to make sure I had water bottles ready to go, had to all the formula, get it mixed, get her fed, put everything away, etc. No thanks lol!

And here's the funny thing about me-I came from a family of bottle feeders and I just knew there was no way I would not nurse. Best decision I ever made-especially for my preemie who could not tolerate the formula they had to give him for 2 weeks after I had to get a vaccination. What would i have done had I not been building a milk supply by pumping for him!? I think bottle feeding is just so ingrained in our mindset(think about it-your dolly had a bottle, they always show bottle feeding on tv and movies, etc) that it can be hard to turn our thinking and go with breastfeeding. For me, it was an amazing time with my little ones and I really do miss it.

Best to you and baby!

2 moms found this helpful

I agree that you should take a breastfeeding class and/or see a lactation consultant. As "natural" as it is, it can also be very difficult. Not to be overly dramatic, but it can be very painful with an improper latch/positioning (I know many moms who had issues with bleeding/cracked nipples).

Also, I had issues with milk production. The lactation consultant couldn't figure out why (no medical issues, no medicine...I just wasn't producing enough). It's good to have a resource to turn to when it gets really frustrating (especially if you aren't going to have support from your family).

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Stephanie:

CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy!!!

YES!! you can pump and breast feed!!
BREAST FEEDING SHOULD NOT HURT!! IF it does - then the child does NOT have a proper latch...consult a lactation consultant so that you can go into this with every advantage...

if you are nervous - then you might give up easily...sometimes - it takes a time or two...some women are lucky and get it on the first shot - others? need help in showing the baby how to latch on.

If someone told you not to have sex because it was painful, would have not done it? That's what it equates to in this sense...sorry - but I'd rather give my child breast milk than chemicals. I realize there are women who can't breast feed - fine...but if I have the option?! BREAST FEED!! It's FREE!!! it's BEST and you can't go wrong with that. And the human race has been doing it for how many centuries?

Every child is different - with my first son - I could eat broccoli and he would stink up the place....with my second son? I could eat ANYTHING..

I pumped every two to four hours...each baby is different. As each schedule is different.

I nursed and pumped...I did this to ensure I got the "hind milk" and to increase my milk production....

My husband would take the expressed milk and do the "2AM FEEDING" so I could sleep. Our oldest son would also use the bottle to help feed his baby brother as well.

I breast fed my first son exclusively for the first six months of his life. And continued to breast feed him until he was ALMOST 3.
My second son was EXACTLY one year - how funny is that? He weaned himself...went to nurse him in the AM and on his one year birthday and he refused the breast and NEVER went back!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

The very first response (Jackie's) was probably the best. If you decide to try to bf, you should do it exclusively for at least 3 weeks to get your milk supply up and to get the baby well established on how to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is a learning process for both you and the baby, so you both need to get lots of practice in the beginning, and a bottle will just be confusing. But 3 weeks is nothing. After that, pump away and involve the kiddos and hubby in the feedings.

Breastfeeding can hurt a little, but Lansinoh and a good latch should resolve this, so there should be little to no pain (until they get teeth ;-) ). My second had a tied-tongue, so it was more painful for me until we got that fixed.

Pumping is more difficult than breastfeeding (i.e., a PITA). You're the one who will be dealing with the baby the most in the beginning, and it will actually be easiest on you to bf more than pump. Really. It really is easiest to bf. Taking a trip on the plane. Bring your boobs! It's easier getting those past security than filled bottles. Is your baby getting shots. Bring your boobs! Greatest pacifiers on the planet; they calm baby right down.

You can generally eat/drink what you want. I had coffee every day and even a glass of wine on many days. You might need to cut out certain foods if the baby is reacting to them, but this isn't all that common.

Give yourself a reasonable goal (example, bf for 3 weeks, pump and bf until 4 months, formula after) or something similarly moderate and reasonable and see where you get. I wanted to bf 6 months and went to 9 months with both because it was easier for all of us. Believe me, if it was harder on me and my family, I wouldn't have done it that long.

And a brief response to Meagan M's response. First, there is nothing wrong with formula. But there are proven advantages to breastmilk. No, it will not make your child smarter, better looking, or better behaved. But bf does provide some immunities and helps reduce things like ear infections down the road. Also, it's designed for your baby. They digest it better. Their poop is less stinky. Etc. Final bonus, it generally helps the momma lose weight (it did with me).

Finally, finally. There was a study that showed that post-baby boobs (ya'll know what I mean) are due more to being pregnant than to breastfeeding. Pregnancy causes our skin/bodies to stretch in weird ways that we don't recover from 100%. This includes our boobs. I'd be interested in hearing from non bf'ing moms out there whether they agree. Those with implants need not respond. I'm guessing yours aren't affected in the same way. Lucky you.

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Your OB/GYN can probably recommend a breastfeeding class that you can go to (with your husband! that way he can learn about it, too!). That will help you decide what you'd like to do. My husband and I went to such a class, and decided we would give breastfeeding a try. Actually it went really well, and I was lucky that both of my babies had no trouble latching on properly, and it was very easy, really! And best of all, always free, always ready to go, and always the right temperature! Oh, and no extra dishes to do. ;) The only thing that kind of freaked me out the first time around was when my milk came in. My baby did have trouble latching on because I was "too full" and to alleviate that, I just hand-expressed a little milk and that solved the problem. She was able to latch on and got plenty to eat.

I say, give it a try, see how you like it, and if you don't like it, then use formula. But give it a few weeks, and I think you may decide that it's way easier than formula. If you have relatives coming over who are not used to seeing you breastfeed, then just get a nursing cover like some other mamas have mentioned. That's what I did and it worked out fine. I was also a little shy about nursing in public, so I would just go into a dressing room if we were out shopping, or would find a quiet, out of the way place and nurse there. You will be surprised, most people are really very supportive of nursing moms.

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You can use a bottle to feed the baby breast milk. However, for about the first month at least ("authorities" will vary on this, some say min 1 month, other min 2 or 3 months), you should exclusively breastfeed the baby, to build your milk supply and to also avoid "nipple confusion"---most babies don't want to go back to nursing after eating from a bottle, because nursing is harder work (the nipple on a bottle is much larger and flows faster, so the baby has to work less to get it out).

Also, if you pump, do it immediately following a nursing session; or, just pump on one side while nursing on the other (this actually can help build your milk supply).

Do not give the baby the bottle yourself--let your DH do it, and if it goes well for him, then maybe let the children do it with close supervision.

I'm a modest person, and I don't like breastfeeding in front of other adults, other than my DH and very close (women) friends. But in front of kids (nieces, nephews), I had no problem--I wanted them to see that it is normal and _good_ and that our bodies are not something to be ashamed of. There are also cover-ups you can get (I found those little flannel receiving blankets were super handy for covering up.

You should probably avoid caffeine, and should definitely try to eat healthy (whole grains, lots of fruits/veg, healthy dairy, lowfat meat, etc.). What you eat is what the baby eats, and even though your body turns it into milk, if you eat junk food, your baby gets it and will actually be predisposed toward wanting junk food. If your baby ends up being colicky or gassy, you may need to eliminate dairy or soy from your diet for a while.

Even if you only breastfeed for a short time, it can really help your baby's immunity. The health benefits for you and the baby are both plentiful, so it's worth it to try.

Nursing, especially in the beginning (the first couple of weeks) can be painful or uncomfortable. A lot of that is you and the baby getting the hang of it, and getting a lactation consultant to help you with latching (the baby latching onto the nipple correctly) will help, and as your breasts become accustomed to it, it will get better. Don't give up right away if it's uncomfortable/painful--get help from the lactation consultant(s) - start with the one in the hospital - and give it a try for at least 1 week before you quit (truly, I think a 2 week trial period is a better try, but do give it a go).

Go to a La Leche League meeting. You will meet other local moms who breastfeed (seeing other moms breastfeeding without qualms or shame really helped me get over my personal embarrassment of "baring the breast"--no one was "flashing", it was all just matter-of-fact), and the leaders are trained to help and to answer questions.

There are some good books out there, but I think that other than understanding the basics of how it works and knowing some of the holds, nothing really helps until you get the experience.

1 mom found this helpful

I want to first say congrats on the new addition to soon be joining your family. Second I see many concerning things about your post. First if you do decide to breast feed then you have to be stuck to it. not decide oh I want to nurse today but not tomorrow or whatever. I agree with the other mothers who said that you want to nurse solely for the first few days until your milk comes in in full. being that you have never breast fed before it will probably be a little painful at first until you and the baby get used to the fact that it's new for both of you and it's gonna take practice. I would definately be checking with your hospital to see if they offer classes for breastfeeding mothers and also have a lactition consultant come to your room after the baby is born to hlep you and be with your through the process.

Another things is if you are uncomfortable breastfeeding in front of people and your kids then I would suggest investing in a cover. You can find them at target babies are us. They are amazing. I am not a person who is comfortable just poppin out a boob to feed so when I am in public this cover is great. My husband and I took our daughter to the zoo not to long ago and the shield was great. people will know what you are doing but nobody can see what you are doing.

Lastly if your family and especially your husband isnt supportive and behind you/ helping you with the process it is gonna be extremely difficult for you. as far as pumping, you need to build up your supply before you can start pumping. if you are gonna do it even for a short period of time you are gonna have to keep up with the babies demands, so you could be pumping anywhere from every hour to every 3 hrs.

I wish you the best of luck and hopefully it is a success for you. breast feeding is great for babies and is an amazing bonding time for you and baby. I breast fed both my kids and i wouldnt have it any other way.

1 mom found this helpful

Give it a try! Just give it 6-8 weeks. Yes, it's painful at first, but only at first! For me maybe about the first 2 weeks, then I was fine. I got into the swing of things. It is challenging at times but I feel if you get through the first 6 weeks you will be fine. Plus it helps you lose weight!!! I eat whatever - just try to eat healthy, obviously! I pump every 3 hours (that is the part that is the most work for me, I do hate pumping, but hey, it's better for the baby) If you're more comfortable pumping then do that. I know I would rather breast feed, but that's just me - I'm comfortable with it. Do whatever works for you, you will get a lot of very vehement responses I'm sure. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi! Congratulations!

A couple of thoughts:

PAIN:
I only found that it hurt when I had a small infection starting - but that was VERY easily taken care of with something called APNO (all purpose nipple ointment). I also developed mastitis once, but it was also taken care of with an antibiotic. I know that the reason I got mastitis was because I didn't drink nearly enough water while we were away for a long weekend at my in-laws' - you have to stay hydrated! Other than that, I have never, ever had any pain. I've always heard that if you're feeling pain, it's likely because the baby just isn't latched correctly.

BOTTLE / PUMPING:
My first did take a bottle of breastmilk from her first few days on. I think this was one of the best things we ever did! It allowed my husband to feed her once a day and gave me a break. (I still pumped at that time.) Around 4 months, we also started giving her a bottle of formula before bed - also allowed someone else to put her to bed beside me - also one of the best things we ever did!

My son, however, had more trouble latching and took a long time (4-5 months) to take to a bottle, so we ended up never getting him started on a bottle for bed rather than nursing - but I do wish we had.

As for how much to pump if you choose to, when I went back to work (babies 4-5 months old), I've always pumped about every two hours! It probably sounds like a lot. If you can get a good set up (i.e., have pump plugged in, ready to go) going so that you can be efficient, it's not so bad. As the baby grows and you incorporate solids into his or her diet, you won't need to pump as much - you can drop pumps as you would drop nursing sessions. For example, if you replace a nursing with baby cereal at 9 am, then drop your 9am pumping. My rule of thumb has always been - if baby is getting a bottle of any kind, I pump. If food, I can drop that pumping session. (ps. I did find pumping to be a little uncomfortable at first, but now it doesn't phase me one bit.)

EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT! -
My son has taught me that every baby is DIFFERENT! Nursing has been a pretty different experience than nursing my daughter. She was a "comfort nurser" - lots of cuddling, dozing while nursing so it took a long time - which was fine since she was my first. Sometimes I felt like all I did was sit on the couch and nurse, but looking back, I'm thankful to have had those few months with her - just the two of us! My son was just the opposite - he was a fast and furious nurser - done in 5-10 minutes! He too loves to cuddle, but not while nursing. This made it easier to nurse with a two-year old daughter running around. On the other hand, he had much more trouble latching than she ever did, so this made nursing him more difficult. Also, she weaned at about a year with NO PROBLEM. He is another story.

NURSING IN FRONT OF OTHERS:
I totally understand your concern about nursing in front of your sons and other family members. I never wanted to nurse in front of others either. With my daughter, I have to admit that I did find this rather isolating. Like I said - she was a "comfort nurser," so feedings took a long time.....which meant longs stints by myself in a room. Sometimes a sister would join me, but I do remember saying to my husband that I was devoted to nursing but it was isolating.

With my son, I did nurse him in front of my daughter, but she wasn't even two yet when he was born. Your sons are older, and I don't think I'd feel comfortable nursing in front of them either. Depending on how long it would take to nurse your new baby, would you feel comfortable leaving the two boys alone with something to do for a bit? Now, when I put my son to bed (15 months old), I leave my 3 year old daughter in the living room with coloring or a short tv show, etc. until I come back. I leave the bedroom door open so that she can peak her head in if she needs something, but she knows to be quiet!

I hope this helps! Overall, I have LOVED nursing. It's a lot of work, and sometimes, like anything that takes work, it can be frustrating - but also very rewarding for both you and baby! At the same time, plenty of people try to nurse and find that they can't (not enough supply, for example) or that it just doesn't work for them). Whatever YOU decide will be right for you and your family. Good luck!!

I breastfed all 3 of my children. I would definately say that it IS healthier for the baby. I basically ate anything I wanted. I also noticed that I lost alot of weight too! It is going to be painful the first week or two but you will get use to it. Think of it this way, your starting the baby off to a healthy start! For example, do we "really" know whats in baby formula? OR can we "really" trust it and where was it made or come from? I'm not going to lie, sometimes at night time I would bottle feed the baby only because I was too tired. I also pumped and did fine, I would freeze the milk in little baby bottles or containers, it worked fine. I believe that while breastfeeding your also "shrinking" your metabolism-if im correct from what a lactation nurse once told me. As far as pain, the most painful part is NOT breastfeeding and waiting for the milk to dry up, your breast will feel like rocks and it'll feel like they are going to explode! I don't rember how often I breastfed or pumped since our youngest is 3 now, but I would pump everytime you felt like you needed to, believe me! you'll know! I say give it a try! And don't give up! It's the best thing you can do for that little baby...I know alot of women that didn't produce enough milk so they weren't able to nurse their baby which made them soo depressed! I also will say one more thing, the bond between you and the baby is priceless! I still rember nursing all my children, they would look up at me while nursing, it's such a prescious moment! I also never breastfed infront of family, I always went up to a room and nursed, I did do it infront of our older two though and didn't think anything of it. I never understood how some women can be out and about and just pop out their breast-in public- to feed their little one? Anyways, I hope I was helpful! Good Luck and rember, if you do decide to nurse, just be patient darling! Blessing's!
P.s. Once you deliver your new bundle of joy, make sure the lactation nurse come's in to help and guide you on how to nurse the baby!
Add On-I hope my response to your question didn't come off as "bullying" you? I just thought I would give you "my opinion"....As far as the FDA approved stuff...there have been alot of things that have been approved by the fda and yet we have had how many "recalls"??? Just a thought.

May I suggest a wonderful book that will answer all of your questions (and more)? Its' called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Excellent.

Breastfeeding does not always hurt, in fact for many women it does not hurt at all. If you are interested then why not try it and see how it feels for you?

If you are a more modest person and don't want your breasts to be seen you can try something like this:http://www.bebeaulait.com/ (a breastfeeding cover up). There are lots of different brands and styles available, mostly online. But bear in mind, bf'ing in front of your kids might be a valuable learning experience for them as they see that breasts are useful, valuable, and not just pretty sex objects. If you really don't feel comfortable with it though then try to find a good cover up and some great nursing tank tops to wear underneath your shirts.

About pumping... many of them women I know did not enjoy pumping. You often dont; get the same amount of milk as you would if you were bf'ing, so you might have to supplement depending on your supply. It's definitely better than nothing, so if you're motivated, and if you are really not keen on bf'ing I say go for it. Get a good quality pump and bear in mind you will have to pump frequently, around the clock. even if your husband gives the baby a bottle in the middle of the night you will still have wake up every few hours overnight to pump just to keep up your supply. Honestly, bf'ing is A LOT easier than pumping. You don't have to wash the bottles and pump parts. Just feed and you're done. Give it a shot with the advice and support of a lactation consultant (DEFINITELY GET ONE OF THOSE!!!!!) and good luck.

S.,
I breast fed exclusively for 8 months - all pumped. My son was never able to latch. So, it is possible to pump from day one and use a bottle. How often you pump will change ove time. At the beginning, you will need to pump often to get your milk supply going, but once the milk starts coming in, you will only need to pump when your breasts feel full. It has been a long time, but I think that I started pumping every 2-4 hours, but then I could go 6-8 hours. I am sure your hospital will have a lactation specialist available to tell you how to handle the milk once it is pumped. My son was never sensitive to anything that I ate, but some babies will respond to your diet. I think caffeine is one of the biggest culprits. I did not find it to be painful, but I also rented a machine from the hopsital to start. I later purchased another machine on ebay for not too much money and just purchased new tubes etc. I would recommend at least starting with the hospital pump. It is like the difference between driving a ferrari and a 20 year old minivan. Whatever decision you choose, best of luck and congratulations.

Well I didn't breast feed my older two but I did my third. You don't have to show your kids your boob to nurse by the way. You will want to go into another room until you're comfortable and you and baby have the hang of it. And once you do you just cover yourself with a blanket or nursing apron.It does hurt for the first couple weeks(about 2) but I would recomend getting nipple cream before you have baby and start using it in the hospital(Lansinoh is best). The pain is not horrible either and eventually your nipple toughen up. My kids were almost 8 and almost 5 when I had the baby and they could have cared less if they fed him to be honest. They just wanted to hold him a lot and so I let them. Any thing that gives you gas will give the baby gas and too much milk will make baby gassy also. Soda made my son gassy too because of the carbonation(sp) My hospital offered a breast feeding class given by one of the lactation consultants. It was cheap and I got tons of info on nursing. You should look into it before you decide since you are on the fence. Good luck

Breastfeeding is different for everyone. Some people find it way too painful to deal with, others love it. I loved it. Mind you I had difficulties as well. My daughter wouldn't latch on for about 3 weeks (she'd been in NICU and was being bottle fed) - so I pumped like mad. It was exhausting, but then one night she just latched on and that was that. I actually ended up breastfeeding for 15 months (I'd never planned on doing it so long!) because it was just really easy and convenient. But she's my only child - so I get there are way more things to take into account when you have other running around! So here are my thoughts. If you want to do it you should try it and give it a good go. It will depend on your milk flow if you can pump from day one, but just keep in mind, pumping is way more exhausting than breastfeeding. Also, he/she will probably have a preference for one over the other until they get used to taking from both, so try not to get frustrated. Don't forget to have back up in the form of nipple cream etc, but really, if the baby latches properly it shouldn't be anything more than uncomfortable (if even that) the first few days, so get some hands-on help in the hospital. I live in Europe where we have midwives and lactation consultants to help with this - not sure how it works at home, but they were a huge help to me and a great source of encouragement when I was ready to just give up, so maybe try and seek one out. Just see how you get on - the nursing thing can actually be really simple and subtle, but it's about your own comfort factor with it. I was a bit shy at first as well but I just got so efficient at it that I stopped caring what other people thought (cuz I knew they couldn't see anything anyway!) Anyhoo - I'll stop babbling, but good luck with it!!!! I have to say, I really found it the most amazing thing.

I have nursed all three of my children, and I have to say I have loved almost every minute of it. I weaned my first at 36 months, my second at 39 months, and my third is 30 months and I've been cutting back in preparation for being completely done in about 6 months. For me, nursing has made me feel so closer than just about anything else to my babies. It has helped them through tough moments -- there's nothing like nursing to calm a baby.

I say give the nursing a try -- even if you only nurse your baby once right after birth, you'll be giving him/her colostrum, and that's a huge immunological advantage. If you nurse for 2-3 days, that's more colostrum. A week, and your milk has come in, and the baby gets benefits from that as well. Each day you nurse gives your baby more benefits, and even if you stop, that doesn't negate what you've already done. If it hurts, talk to a lactation consultant, and she'll be able to help you with the latch.

The only times I've experienced real pain while nursing has been when I was pregnant again and my nipples got extremely sensitive and then my milk dried up, when I had blocked ducts (something I'm apparently prone too, and changing the type of bra I was wearing took care of the problem) and once when I had a nasty case of mastitis. And, of course, the occasional bite -- they learn fairly quickly not to bite, but if you keep nursing after the appearance of teeth, it probably will happen a few times.

I've always waited a few weeks before introducing a bottle to avoid nipple confusion. My 2 boys (1st and third babies) took to a bottle pretty easily and went back and forth between a bottle with pumped work and nursing pretty easily. This was very important with my first, as his father and I separated 9 months after his birth, and he would visit his dad regularly even at that age. My daughter was fussier about the bottle.

I have always nursed my children wherever I am, with very few exceptions. After all, it's my baby eating, and it's what my breasts were made for. I don't care if my older children see it... each one had stopped nursing less than a year before the next was born anyway. But, I know that some people are much less comfortable with it. There are nursing covers you can buy that will allow you to nurse without showing anything, as well as nursing clothing with strategically located slits and flaps, which allow you to nurse very discreetly.

Most of all, I would advise (and I give all my doula clients and the couples in my childbirth classes this advice) is to find a lactation consultant before your baby is born, and post her phone number on your fridge or somewhere easy to find, so that if you need her, you don't need to make a huge effort and start checking references in the middle of a nursing crisis, and you can get help right away. It can mean the difference between something being a minor stumble and causing you to stop nursing entirely.

Hi S.~
I nursed and pumped with my 2 youngest. If you want to nurse and pump, you will have to start with strictly nursing at the beginning. You need to build up enough supply to be able to pump also. At first you only produce a very small amount of milk. Your supply will build up as your baby's need increases. It could take a little bit for that to happen. With my youngest (now 1) I exclusively nursed for 2 or 3 weeks. After that I started pumping. I know this isn't highly recommended, but I would usually nurse from one side, and then pump from the other. Another suggestion is to nurse fully, and then pump out whatever is remaining. I liked to nurse one side and pump the other, but that was just my preference. I preferred that method because I was then fully draining both breasts, which is a huge relief!! As far a nursing in front of others--with 2 kids, I never got used to it!! I would make sure I had another room to take her into to feed her. Nursing hurts a bit at first. Mostly because as you are nursing, you are contracting as well. So I personally felt more pain in my tummy than in my breasts, but it only felt that way for the first 2 days after birth. As long as the baby is latched on and positioned properly, there should be no pain at all. I strongly suggest looking into the hospital you will deliver at. Most hospitals offer classes and even consultations for nursing mom's. I know at my hospital, I had a lactation consultant come to my room to help me at first--with both of my girls.
Good luck & congrats on the baby!!!

I have a friend who is exclusively pumping for twins. You can do it! It is not painful, but you do have to get a setting that is comfortable for you and also expresses the milk quickly. I started off with a hand pump (medela) for the first few days, then started using the Ameda purely yours to make some bottles so that DH could help with feeding. The best investment is to buy a hands free pumping bra. Then you can read a book, catch up on email/facebook etc-get some "me" time in while you pump! If you don't want to spend the money, you can make your own by using an old sports bra and cutting to slots for the pump "horns" (small enough to keep them in there tight)

Hi there - you've got a ton of responses and this is clearly a hot topic! I highly recommend that you & your husband take a breastfeeding class. Yes, have him go too, so he can learn about the benefits of breastmilk and also about how to do it. It can be hard to learn to do it right, but it is SOOO awesome. I had a rough 2 weeks or so - learning to get the latch right, and I had a little one who LOVED to eat. Lansinoh is a must for those early days. Agree you can deal with the modesty, lots of cool nursing tanks/tops (my favorite was from target). One of the best things about it is the portability and convenience. WHen you go somewhere, all you need to remember is your baby! and a cover up in the diaper bag. No bottle to heat up or formula to mix. Same thing for night feedings, you simply get up and go nurse, no mixing and measuring and warming. Love love love it. The feeling of closeness and peacefulness you get when it's just you & the little one nursing are indescribable.

All that said, I applaud you for thinking of trying something so different for you . It really is awesome for the baby and REALLY REALLY cuts down on ear infections etc. I planned on nursing for 6 months but ended up nursing until she self weaned at 10 months and then pumping until she was over 2.5 yrs old. Pumping is much less pleasant than nursing but it is not awful. I had to start pumping while I was still in the hospital as I had a c-section and apparently your milk takes longer to come in with a section.

So breastfeeding will not turn your child into a genius, but it really will give them a better immune system initially. No formula can provide antibodies, which are in your breastmilk.

Good luck to you and yours, and congratulations on your baby and on having an open mind.

Talk to someone in La Leche League and/or a lactation consultant. Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt. If it hurts, something's wrong.

Try it. Breastfeeding directly is a whole lot more convenient that formula feeding, not to mention cheaper. You can also pump some. You can also supplement with formula. You are unlikely to be able to establish a good milk supply with pumping alone, but you can give it a try.

Thanks for considering breastfeeding.

I work in the mother baby unit at my area hospital and have moms that come in and pump strictly. I come from a family that says breastfeeding has no point. I don't have a small family either. I chose to breastfeed and the number one thing that made the difference was my husband fully supporting me.
About the pain, there is a great deal of pain that is very uncomfortable but usually gone by week 6. I fought through the pain because to me it was more important for her to nurse and get my milk than for me to be pain free. Unless baby doesn't have a good latch. When you give birth have lactation come in every day you are there and check baby's latch. Get a bottle of Lanolin you will need it. Use it after each time pumping. I am a very modest person. I only breastfed in our bedroom or in a room if I am at someone else's home. If I know I am going to be out and about I bring a bottle that I have pumped.
I nursed and pumped even before I went back to work. It gave my husband the chance to feed her just like you want. You can nurse then pump. If you chose just to pump you can pump every three hours. You can pump from day one yes. You will only get a small amount of colostrum but babies tummies are only about the size of a marble the first few days and don't need large amounts. I would pump at home with my daughter after every time she nursed. Then when I went to work I pump every three hours. Don't go over three hours especially that can effect your supply.
You can eat anything you want unless your baby has issues. Like my little one has issues with caffeine but my SIL little one has no problem with it. You really just need to watch your babies ques. If the little one starts to spit up a lot or vomit little one might reacting to something you are eating or drinking and then at that point its process of elimination. That can get frustrating but paying attention is key.
So get a lactation consultant before and during your stay at the hospital and get a great support system at home. Formula and breastfeeding both have their their pros and cons. The right choice is whatever one you choose to do for your family. Don't let anyone tell you different.