12 answers

Breast Milk for My Adopted Baby

I am looking for a Mom of a newborn or young infant who might be willing to share breast milk (for appropriate compensation) with my soon to be born adoptive baby girl (she's due August 8th). This is our second baby we are adopting and were not able to give our first the benefits of breast milk and would really like to be able to give this baby the huge advantages of breast milk for the first few months. I know this is a huge request, but also know if I don't put it out there, it won't happen. Thanks for your consideration!

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So What Happened?™

I want to thank everyone for their advice, willingness to share their breast milk and great information! It was overwhelming to get such immediate and positive responses. I didn't say a lot about me above. One important piece of information is that my husband and I have both been working in HIV for the past 15 years, so we're aware of the concerns about breast milk and will certainly be sure we are aware of any generous donor's health status. Also, I am post (surgical) menopause and have great concerns about making my own milk, although I do understand that it is possible. My single greatest concern for my new baby is the nutritional benefits that breast milk can give her and therefore think a naturally-producing Mom with a similar age baby is probably best for her. Also, many of the breast milk banks only offer their milk to premies or babies with specific health problems. And it is very expensive. Thanks again and I look forward to hearing back from those of you I've written (or will write later today!).

More Answers

Hi S.,
I'm sure you'll receive hundreds of responses to your request, but here's another one, anyway ...
I have lots of breast milk in the freezer that I'd be happy to give you. My daughter is 6 mos now and up until about a month ago, I had to pump before feeding her everytime I fed her because I produced too much milk. I can't tell you how much milk went down the drain, much to my chagrin--but I could only store so much! I can give you fresh if you prefer it, too. I'm a nutrition nut, consume only organic, whole foods, no junk/MSG/hydrog. fats/soda/high fructose corn syrup/drugs/alcohol, etc. etc. Be careful whose milk you use--things like pesticides get concentrated in breast milk. You'd be better off formula only in that case. Send me a note if you want to talk about it more. Good luck!

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Shelly,

On the resource section of my website, http://www.marycacciapaglia.com/resource_directory.htm#feed there are several milkbanks and other breastfeeding information that you may find useful. Congratulations on your new baby!

All the Best,
M.
Postpartum Doula in SFV

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Hi, S.,

I live in Culver City. Feel free to contact me at ____@____.com.

L. E

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Congratulations on your forthcoming adoption! You must be very excited. I'm happy to see all the support and advice you're receiving on this site, and I acknowledge you for putting your request out there. I live in Goleta, and I am a stay-at-home mom of 3 children, ages 4, 2, and 6 months. I have lots of milk in the freezer, and I am still nursing. I'd be happy to help provide you with breast milk, if you're interested. I eat mostly organic and lots of vegetables. I use no drugs or medication, and I take vitamins. I also do drink caffeine and alcohol, so that is something you should consider. Good luck to you!

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Hi S.!

I'm an adoptive mother of a 20 month old and searching for another baby now. Congratulations!!

Our birth mother breastfed for the first two days. The colostrum - which is the part that comes out first - is very important as it sets up the child's immune system. Ask your birth mother if she'd be willing to either breastfeed or pump the colostrum. This is a lot to ask but there are so many benefits to the child.

Many people have mentioned that you could breastfeed yourself. You're fortunate that you have so much time before your daughter is born. If you want to do it yourself all you need to do is pump for a little bit about 4 or 5 times a day. It apparently takes 1 or 2 months of this before milk comes in - so great timing. Now, you more than likely won't get enough to completely feed your daughter. You'd still have to supplement. If you've done this for 1 1/2 months and still no milk, then ask your doctor about taking a supplemental hormone to help.

Also, contact me off list if you would like any more adoptive parent support. We've had a very successful adoption and are excited about our next child.

Woo hoo!

S.

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I would love to help you out. My daughter is just about 5 months old. Please email me so we could exchange details. Btw I eat all organic, don't drink caffeine chocolate etc... :-). In think its great of you to do this for your soon to be arriving baby. *A. Q ____@____.com

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Hi S.:

Congrats on your upcoming adoption! I am an adoptive Mom of my 3 yo son and bio mom to our surprise 1 yo daughter.

I tried adoptive breastfeeding with my son and found wonderful information at www.fourfriends.com (the adoptive breastfeeding website). I know there are milk banks and other ways to get donated breastmilk and that site has some tips for you.

You can also check out www.bethany.org. Go to the discussion boards and do a search for adoptive breastfeeding. There are a few other women there who have done it successfully and have posted other websites with good information about both ABF-ing and how to get donated milk.

There are also a few adoption related groups on meetup.com. You might be able to network with others there to see if they have any suggestions for you.

Good luck and Congrats again!

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First of all, where do you live?!
I live in Pacific Beach, San Diego.

I'm due June 25th with my third child. With my first child (4.5 years old), I nursed and pumped and had so much extra milk I had to actually throw some away.
With my second child (2.75 years old), I pumped minimally because she just didn't stimulate me as much.
I don't know how things will go with #3, but if I have excess milk (and it can be frozen long enough), I wouldn't mind sharing.

I'm 38 years old, SAHM, vegetarian(with the exception of salmon on occasion, dairy, and eggs), and very health-conscious.

We'll see if this works.
C.

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