M.S. asks from Macomb, MI on May 01, 2009
I am wrestling with a decision ... should I get implants. A small bit of background, I always had A cups, and being 5'10" with curvy hips and wide shoulders I have always looked a tad disproportioned. Now when growing up, as one might expect, I had to deal with the jokes. And even at 34, I am still dealing with the jokes (though now they are generally good natured and from relatives). The kicker is this, I just had my second baby, who I am in the process of breastfeeding and before I get answers ... yes I would wait until I am finished before doing anything. But I am so in love with my new shape! I am a full B with my milk in and I find myself more confident, everyone is commenting ... in a good way... and I am not so critical of my hips. I find that if I want to have a milkshake, I have one. I am not the nazi about diet and exercise as I was before. I just remember that after my first child, my little a cups went to literally nothing, I couldn't fill the a cup anymore and it was so very disheartening and depressing. My husband is a perfect gentleman and when asked he said "this is a decision that YOU have to make, I think you are beautiful now and have always been, but I understand your self-consciousness and will support your decision either way" -- I know, he is fantastic -- So here I am left. To boob or not to boob. On one hand, I am terrified to have unnecessary surgery when I have so much to loose if something goes wrong (my family) for something that, let's face it, is completely selfish in nature. I also don't relish the idea of foreign things in my body, and I heard you have to go through the procedure every ten years to have them look good (which is A LOT of surgery!). I also don't want to be stereotypically looked down upon as one of "those people" who is so shallow that she can't be happy with what God gave her. On the other hand, I don't want to continue to have a bad self-body image and look with disgust everytime I look into a mirror. The added bonus to the decision is I now have a daughter, I have to be a good role model and show her that she should be proud of her body. Add that to the fact my mother died of breast cancer and I have to have mammograms often. So many thoughts are running through my head ... I don't even know who is a good doctor and who isn't. I try to add up the pros in the being flat chested side ... which actually are quite a lot, I can sleep on my side, stomach anything without any discomfort. I could wear a shirt with a neckline to my bellybutton and not look trashy. Bra ... well only if I feel like it. I can hop like a bunny down the stairs without any bounce or skin stretch. So you see, I am torn. So I am wondering about your thoughts. I would love to hear from people who have had the procedure as well as the happy a cups out there. I realize if I was more self-confident then this wouldn't be an issue, and some days I am. But then others (which seem to outway the good days) I stand in front of the mirror, the way I did when I was 13, and just wish they would grow.
J.C. answers from Detroit on May 02, 2009
I had mine done and I would tell you not to do it.
It will be cool for a while when you first get them but then it will wear off. Simply from the standpoint that breast cancer is in your family is enough to say no. I say that because even though there are other techniques and ways to perform checks there will still always be a "what if it was missed" thought in the back of your mind. Also, after a while they kinda become annoying and as you get older you will start loving them less and less, and it will look weird on a 60yr old woman. Anyway, these are just a few of my thoughts and take it as you will. The bad out weighs the good and eventually you will not even care what size your breasts are! And you have a wonderful husband who already loves you totally, and thats awesome. Oh, one more thing, way to much money to spend in this economy.
C.M. answers from Detroit on May 02, 2009
Oh M., I feel for you! I have never had a great bustline either. The only time I had cleavage was when I was nursing my babies. It was fun while it lasted. BUT...great boobs aren't everything! My husband is a boob-man but not when it comes to me. He is like your husband. I think you have already answered your own question. Any Surgery is risky. Unnecessary surgery is a risk I would NOT take. There are alot of bras with help out there. Get a good one before you stop breastfeeding and everyone, except you and your husband will never know the difference. Others may look at you as the girl who kept her boobs after breastfeeding! YEEHA!!
One other thing about all those mammos you are having. You need to read up on the cancer risk that mammos CAUSE. Yes your mom died from breast cancer :( but there are other ways to screen for that without the squish factor and the radiation. It is a huge danger for all women. Go on the internet and read up on the dangers of mammograms. It's too long to tell here.
One more thing...at least the "girls" won't be hanging around your waist when you are 65! Good Luck with your decision.
L.W. answers from Detroit on May 02, 2009
M.- Go ahead and do it! I breastfed four kids and was left with empty skin. I was so depressed about it. So I did it and it was the best thing ever! I feel so good about myself. I look better in shirts and I do not feel disgusted when I am naked. Find a surgeon and talk to him or her. They give you a great deal of information. Then you can decide from there. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
C.M. answers from Detroit on May 02, 2009
I too have the same issue as you, as far as body shape. I'm not over weight anywhere expect that I have this saddle bag thing going on and NO chest.
My breasts are very tender and much of the time painful. When doing a mammogram, I commented to the tech that I'd love a "boob job." I told her that with them being painful already I was concerned that the movement of them when walking, running, etc. would make them hurt more. She said with what she sees and knows, she'd never consider doing it. I asked if it can make finding the breast cancers more difficult and sometimes missed completely in our exams and without hesitation she said, "Absolutely YES!"
I do feel your pain....
I'm 50 now and still hate my body. Fortunately, my hubby is sweet like yours and loves me the way I am...a women with smaller boobs than his. lol
Good luck with your decision,
T.K. answers from Detroit on May 02, 2009
I also feel like you, mixed up. But a good friend who went thru the same thing told me first to get someone very close to you on your side. Husband preferbly and or Mom. She told me of the ups and downs of the whole procedure of exceptence for changing your body and feeling comfortable afterwards. She also has a daughter and will tell her to love her body too but if there comes a time when it strangles your relationship with your husband its not worth it. There are risks to any surgery too! I am pregnant with #4 and will surely be looking into my options when I wean. I was a full C before nursing my children and can't even fill a B when I am done. It does affect me alot with my confidence with my too loving husband but I can't imagine going on the rest of my life feeling this way. Don't let others get to you, thats why it helps to have folks on your side. You'll be fine.
D.Y. answers from Detroit on May 07, 2009
I know I'm a little late with this response but I doubt you've gone ahead with the surgery already so I wanted to share my opinion. ;)
I'm so glad you mentioned your daughter in your request. I was going to ask if you had one. I urge you to think about the long-term effects this surgery will have on her. There is not a doubt in my mind that she looks up to you and your response to your body and self to teach her how to respond to her own body and self. I understand how you feel, having struggled with body image issues all my life. But I have a one year old daughter now and I will do anything in my power to keep her from feeling the way I felt growing up. I don't cut myself down anymore. My breasts are saggier than they were before, yes, but I don't mind it - I've nourished her since the day she was concieved with my body. That's a pretty amazing feat if I do say so myself! I know it will happen with the way children are inundated with "perfect" visions of the human body on television and movies, etc, and I dread the day I hear her say something negative about her body. I love every inch of her and always will, and her breasts or hips or lips or hair have nothing to do with it. I'm absolutely certain you feel that way about your daughter as well. You are the one she will model her self-image after, so your relationship with your bodyimage is crucial.
Please check out http://theshapeofamother.com/ It's a beautiful website and certainly helped me overcome my feelings of inadequacy and ugliness. I have stretch marks, yes. But there is not a damn thing wrong with that.
I hope you find peace soon.
N.B. answers from Detroit on May 02, 2009
I know exactly how you feel. I will be breastfeeding my 3rd child in a few months and after my 2nd my breasts were smaller than they were befor I had kids. I was always Ok with my breasts before kids (36B) but when they shrank smaller and then flattened and pointed down because of breastfeeding, I have also thought I may get my breasts done. I am going to wait till we have the money to do so and it is no impact on our expenses, but I plan on it. I dont think you will be steretyped as long as you dont go too big. If you dont get ones that are too big for your current size then no one will be able to tell. I say do it. The confidence I felt with my pregnancy and breastfeeding breasts was amazing and my hisbands and I sez life was spectacular. I think that is important for a good marriage. GO FOR IT!!
A.S. answers from Detroit on May 01, 2009
I say you go for it!!
You cant be all that you can be with your family and friends if you are not happy with your self!
I would just make sure you research a good doctor or maybe go through a personal recommendations.
I just had my Daughter last year, and OMG what it did to my body, if I had 15k, I would be running for a Mommy Makeover!
Good luck! and if you do get them, enjoy your perky new boobs!! I'm envious!, lol!