December 30, 2011,
V.F. asks from Shreveport, LA on December 29, 2011
Breast Cancer - Shreveport,LA
MY MIL is in her mid 50's. She called yesterday to let us know she has breast cancer. Total shock. They were here the week before Chrismas and she knew she had a lump. They just didn't want to upset us. Her mother and sister both passed away from it when they were young. I am just shocked, upset.... The good news is that the doctor does not think it has spread and she found it early enough. I do not know what stage, but the way she told us was that it was curable and not to worry. MY husband looked like he was trying not to cry. When he came home last night, he was in a mood, easliy agitated. So, my question is how do I show my support when I have no idea how to. Anyone else have any advice on cancer. ALso, please say a prayer that she will be okay.
So What Happened?™
Thank you ladies for your kindness. She lives on the east coast so we are not able to check on her as much. I may send her some flowers or something the day she has surgery ( Jan 6th). I also will look for the cancer survivor cookbook. I do not feel like she is in serious danger. I know that cancer is serious, but from what she told us, it was caught early. I appreciate the thoughts and would love prayers whenever you think about it. I hope GOD blesses you all!!
S.H. answers from St. Louis on December 29, 2011
prayers to you & your family.
Hit the Komen (& others) website, & there will be great resources there to lead you thru the process.
As for support: keep the house stocked with drinks & fav foods. Keep a support team readily-available. Be prepared for emotions...& embrace them! Don't hide them!
Create a hospital bag for her.....you will be amazed at how much of a difference it makes. I always include new toiletries, hand lotion, chapstick, soft Kleenex (not the rough hospital ones) or an antiq hankie, a puzzle book, a paperback...or Bible verses. Gum, mints, fresh fruit, pretzels....I also include PB, chocolate, & sometimes even beef jerky. A small neck pillow, a new robe/gown, new houseshoes. OH, & most importantly, a notebook/pen for jotting down all instructions!
When my son went thru his surgeries (4 for his hip) & my DH's heart surgery, I went loaded for bear! With each surgery, we adjusted what was needed in "the bag". It truly did help us get thru living at the hospital!
It is amazing how many changes have evolved in the field of breast cancer....so much easier on the patient! Thoughts & prayers sent your way.
2 moms found this helpful
J.W. answers from Houston on December 29, 2011
Of course I will say a prayer for her. I am a 59 year old breast cancer survivor who has been fighting the disease for about 15 years. I have had surgery, resconstruction, chemo and radiation while working a fulltime job. Currently my cancer is under control with a once a month treatment that takes about 30 minutes.
Since the doctor feels they caught it early I would be encouraged. Right now she is afraid because she does not know what is coming. If you can, go with her to her appointments; two asking questions and listening to treatment options is a good thing.
My surgeon had my entire family come to his office to explain the history of fighting breast cancer, treatment options and surgery. Everyone was able to ask questions and he was supportative and kind with his answers.
Make sure she has answers to her questions and knows what she is facing. Stress, and fear of any type is not good for cancer patients. Knowledge about what she can expect will control the fear.
Treatment options are customized these days depending upon the cancer. Most important find a doctor you can trust and have faith in. Make sure they are willing to answer your questions.
I am sorry all of you are going through this but you can make it. I will be praying for you. Message me if it would help.
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M.L. answers from Colorado Springs on December 29, 2011
I'm a breast cancer survivor since 1995. I'll be praying for your MIL. Let your husband know that you're on his side and by his side while his mama goes through this. He may want to talk, or he may not want to (you know how men are).
When I was diagnosed, I took a take-no-prisoners attitude as far as the cancer was concerned - get it out and keep it out. If I had to do it again (and I hope I don't), I would still take the same stance. I was so thankful for friends who supported me with their encouragement. One of them in particular was there in person for me whenever I needed it (which meant changing her own schedule) and called frequently just to ask how I was doing.
Ask your MIL to ask the doctor for the details about what will happen now, so that she can share them with her concerned family. She knows you all will worry even if she tells you not to. Listen to your MILs concerns or fears, if she wants to share them with you, and be encouraging. Attitude plays a big role.
And yes, do the "hospital bag" thing that Sue suggested - it's great!
1 mom found this helpful
B.J. answers from Longview on December 29, 2011
Praying for you and your family. My mom was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer and they removed the lump. She did chemo and radiation to make sure it was all gone. March of 2012 she will be breast cancer "free" for 5 years. The best advice I can give is to ALWAYS stay positive. Don't distance yourself from her, go about talking to her like you would normally do. I agree with what the other post say as well. I went to the doctor with my mom just so she wouldn't have to go at it alone. And don't hesitate to ask questions. I know the doctor probably wanted me to leave out the room...but hey thats my mom and I need to know everything!!!
I will def pray for you all!!
1 mom found this helpful
J.F. answers from Boston on December 29, 2011
What an incredible response Sue gave you!!!! Such wonderful ideas! I would also like to add that when my uncle found out he had cancer, nutrition ended up being a big issue and my aunt had asked roar recipes. I called my sister in law's mother who had battled...and won...cancer twice-and she recommended a fantastic book called, The Cancer Survivor's Cookbook. It has fantastic recipes that are geared toward the nutritional needs of those battling cancer and going through different treatments, and it also gives methods of cooking that will make the food palatable through different stages....for example, if she ever gets mouth sorest during treatment. I would look into that, maybe. Best of luck to your family during this difficult time!!!!
J.W. answers from St. Louis on December 29, 2011
Just tell him you want to support him but you don't know what he needs. He will tell you.
A.L. answers from Dothan on December 30, 2011
Just be there for him, let him know that, when is wanting to talk-talk, when he needs your prescence-stop what you are doing & be his rock, don't get upset if he chooses to talk with his sister/mother instead of you. When he is ready he will come to you for whatever support, don't push him to 'talk it out', go on the 'puter to look for answers/info...DO be ready for any questions by learning all you can about breast cancer now...Prayers sent your way & to your DH & MIL.
J.S. answers from Jacksonville on December 29, 2011
My mom is going through chemo now, for breast cancer. She is doing really well, the best thing you can do is be there for you husband and MIL. Its hard and scary but if you all stick together you can make it through. Prayers with you.