Breast and Bottle Feeding

OK, first let me say that IMHO you don't have to justify ANY of your choices, to go back to work, stay at home, whatever. You are doing what you feel is best and it's none of my or anyone else's business! Sheesh, I thought that was a no-brainer, but I guess it needed to be said. I'm sorry you got ____@____.com from people, but there is always someone out there who just can't wait to tell you you aren't doing it right!

As for the bottle issue, I'd recommend The First Years BreastFlow bottles--they have a double nipple that is really wide, and she'll have to open up to latch on like on the breast. Of all the bottles out there, this is the most like the real thing. Also, use only the Stage 1 nipples; they have the slowest flow so it's also most like the breast. She'll have to suck to get milk, it won't just flow into her mouth so there's less chance of nipple preference and more chance of her latching OK.

GOOD LUCK to you! Let us know how it went.

I had the same problem with my first child. It worked best for us if my husband feed her when she was hungriest (morning). I would pump a bottle and leave the house (they say your baby can smell you). It worked best for my husband to carry my daughter face her away from him. We tried all sorts of bottles and nipples ($$$). In the end, she chose an evenflow bottle that was angled (so my husband could face her away). The angled bottle was also easy to squeeze, so he could tempt my baby with a taste of milk. We found the Medela bottle was also easy to feed her with as well. Hang in there, they eventually take a bottle. If possible, it is best to only have the baby try in 10-15 minutes spurts (ie don't make dad and baby cry it out too long). And Dad must try to feed baby a bottle EVERY day.

I would suggest Avent Bottles. As you have probablly noticed with breast feeding, you not only have contact at the baby's mouth, but also your breasts along her cheeks. Avent has the wider nipples that mimick. Also, if you tuck one of her amrs behind you, have your husband try positioning her turned in towards him with one arm tucked behind him. Good luck. Today was my 1st day back to work, leaving my 11 mo. old with my husband. Ugh, its hard, isn't it? My daughter did well, and she and daddy had a blast, but I think I'm gonna have to adjust more than her. =D

Hey Tiara...I don't have any fabulous suggestions other than I would suggest your husband try to feed your daughter at least once EVERY day not just the day of the week you're gone. I did this from day 1 where daddy gave her a bottle evey night (pumped breast milk) and that way she was used to daddy feeding her and a bottle. As for bottles...I used the playtex ones (w/the throw away liner).

Good luck!

L.

P.S. sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls.

Hello - This can be a very trying time, trying to get her to take a bottle. First, make sure that you are trying more than just one day a week. You have to keep trying and trying..I would also suggest going to a BabysRUs where they have a lot of different bottles to see what type of bottle resembles your nipple, that might help. I ended up using Avent bottles with my son who is now almost one. BUT..I have found they leak off and on but this was the only kind he would take when we finally got him on a bottle. It took awhile for that to happen too. I think it is good that you are doing it early. Best of luck to you!

My husband had a hard time when I went back to work as well... here is what helped for us.

ADIRI Natural Nurser Breast Bottle

When you get these bottles you will discover that they feel a lot like a real breast and that will help a lot. The natural smell of the breast milk will help your child know that it is you, but the shape of these bottles is SO very helpful! My husband really appreciated this bottle and it is the only one my son would ever take, which helped a lot when we were going from breast to bottle for days that I worked and days I was home.

Good luck!

Another thing that will help is to find a nipple that matches your own. Good luck to you!

I think dad probably just needs a little more practice. I'm sure everyone's stress level was high on that day and little Olivia was just too upset to eat. You may want to consider letting your husband feed her once a day (or several times a week) when you are home, so that it becomes normal. Then when you are gone, they'll probably do better.

I went thru the transition of work and bottle too. The key is to relax and have a bottle they can use..newborn silicone nuk nipples worked for us. We did the on and off breast and bottle for a year. She'll figure it out...Try pumping and dad giving her a bottle 1/2 a feeding 2x before the next work day and that way she'll be familiar and expecting it...sort of..and still on the breast, nobody likes a shock to the routine!

She won't starve. She will eat if she is hungry enough. Skin on skin would be good, both of them wrapped up in a blanket maybe. Get a carrier he is comfortable wearing and have him wear the baby. At least she will know that even though she can't have Mommy, she is being loved by Daddy! (Start with a ring sling or moby wrap, baby facing in.)

I do agree with Dena though. She does need you and this time passes so quickly. Is it possible you're working just to have time to yourself and not because you have to financially? I understand the need for a break, but does it have to be a full day? There are other ways moms can get a break and still meet their children's needs. Since your husband is willing to watch the kids on his day off, you could plan to meet a friend for a couple of hours or go shopping alone, then go back home to nurse the baby. If you're just needing a break. Or is it possible to come home during breaks to nurse her? Could your husband bring her to where you work so you could nurse? Try to work something out!

Would it be possible to stop working for now? At least until she is a bit older. You have an older child so you know they are only young for a very short time.

I do commend you for pumping at work! That is quite a committment and I hope you keep it up! Please do not let your husband offer your baby formula. That is the first step towards weaning and I doubt you intend to wean this early. Keep pumping and have Daddy offer her bottles of your breast milk (try different nipples as suggested below). I hope it goes well. :)

Don't be apologetic for your choices. You absolutely shouldn't have to defend yourself to other women. You are doing what's best for you and your family. Unfortunately, women have lots of opinions. :) Don't let the judgement get to you. All we can do is strive to not judge others and refuse to take part in the negativity that surrounds us. Besides, it seems that the majority of the comments were really positive and encouraging. :)

Maybe your hubby could get some practice with the bottle in the evenings or other times when they could work it out without the stress. Sometimes it works to sit the baby up, rather than laying her down. She'll get the idea that he's not trying to be Mommy, but he does have the goods! Or the skin to skin thing might work. He just has to figure it out. He'll find something that works for him and his baby girl that will be a special bonding time for them. :)

I pump for my baby also. He struggled at first and I was really concerned. A pediatrician recommended trying different bottles/ nipples. I found platex nursers is what he likes. Also my husband found holding him close and snuggling him the way I do helped ease the transition. Good luck & have a great weekend.

I say do what you need to do! Nobody can judge you if they are not in your shoes and since nobody is they should keep silent!
My baby boy is picky but his faves are the nuk orthodontic and the medela bottles that come with the pump...also orthodontic. I agree with the woman who said have your hubby give the baby a bottle every night. That way the babe will get used to it. Another trick is to dip the bottle nipple in gripe water.

i had a little trouble with my 7 month old taking a bottle at any time at about 3 months because i breast-fed. The bottle s that are like the soothie binkies seemed to make it a lot easier. i can't rememeber the brand name though. and if you take a little while and sit there and sing or talk to her when daddy has her, then slowly after a few days, talk less, and leave the room occasionally.just like getting them into a bedtime. ask your husband if 1/2 an hour of the day after he gets home or close to the time she falls asleep just the 3 or 4 of you cuddle.

Hi Tiara,

Though I was unable to breast feed, I can understand your frustration. There is a new bottle called the Breast Flow I believe. It is shaped like the nipple to help a child latch to it in a different way. Also, many moms have taken a dab of breast milk and put it on the nipple and that helps the baby use the botlle. The smell causes them to want to suck. Hope this is helpful for you. :) Blessings to you and your sweet family.

K.S.

Tiara
We ran into the same problem when our second child didn't want to take a bottle either. It's really hard when you are going through it. Avent is a good bottle to try. We unfortunately had to quit breastfeeding all together. She would go 13 hours without eating. Our Dr said when they get hungry they'll eat. Eventually she did. She is a strong 8 1/2 year old now. Good luck.
S., Mother of three girls 12, 8 1/2 and 4 1/2

Dr. Brown's bottles have worked for everyone I know who has had a baby that won't take a bottle! You're good to start early introducing a bottle because it is important she takes one in case of an emergency! Good luck!

I love Dr. Brown's bottles.

My first daughter was also stubborn about taking an occasionaI bottle at that age. I also wanted to work just a few hours a week. I suppose if you are like I was-you are getting some "hate mail" advise. One lady who I called for help from the LaLeche League really laid into me for wanting to work at all. Not helpful.
We were able to get her to take an occasional bottle by CONSISTANTLY (even when I was at home - with expressed milk) having her take at least one ounce from a bottle before I would nurse her. In the very first days. I remember she once went 8 hours refusing the bottle. But, then she took an ounce-and I promply nursed her. It seemed like it took a whole month, though. I don't regret the decision we made. I think you can make this happen if it is important to you and your family that you work a little.
My other three children adapted much more easily to nursing and bottle feeding. I nursed all of them until they were over 1 year old.
Best of luck to you. W.

Hi Tiara,

My kid would only use the Playtex deflating bottle with the simple orthodontic nipple which was impossible to find (of course). Breaking off to let air into the bottle really throws breast fed babies, so a bottle with a deflating bag or air intake makes it less confusing for them. Try different nipples as kids do have opinions :)
Also, make sure Dad is relaxed. Maybe sit with them both and relax them both while Dad gives a bottle? When you think about it, they're new to this and you've five weeks more experience and Olivia probably doesn't want to have to train him.
I'm sure Olivia made up for the six hours as soon as she got a chance and that's the same as sleeping through the night!

Congratulations.

Hi Tiera,

My daughter wouldn't take a bottle for the longest time. She was almost 3 months old I think. I finally found one by accident she liked and would take from anyone including me. I was the last person that was able to give her a bottle. She rarely took a bottle anyway only if we went out to dinner. I hate to nurse in public. It is called Soothie; it is like the pacifier they give in the hospital. She never took a pacifier but that was the only bottle she would drink from. They are really cheap less than $2 a bottle and the only place I found them was at Wal-Mart. The other thing you might try but it takes a long time is using a syringe to feed her and your husband's finger. When my daughter was first born we had to supplement her with formula until my milk supply came in and got up to enough to support her. Lactation didn't want her to take a bottle until she was like 4 or 5 weeks so I would nurse her then pump to try and get my supply up. While I was pumping my husband would supplement her by letting her suck on his clean pinky finger and he would use a syringe to put the formula in her mouth so she "nursed" that way. I am not sure where you get that type of syringe other than a lactation specialist, but if you can't find a bottle to work this might. It does take a little longer, but it would be less frustrating to him until you can find a bottle she likes.
Hope this helps.

I liked the Avent bottles with my daughter. I was using the wide Playtex ventaire bottles at first but my mom who watches my daughter while I'm at work had a hard time with all the different peices so I switched to the Avent bottles. Those worked well, my daughter never had any gas and they never leaked, as I've heard that some people have had problems with that. Hope you find something that works for ya.

I used Avent bottles with my children. the way that i transistioned my children was to start breastfeeding them 5 min on each side, then my husband would finish with a warm bottle while i pumped. Make sure that the nipples of the bottle are warm too. if you are on a schedule, you may have to throw that out and watch for her hunger cues. Also, have him try different positions to feed her. (different than those that would associate breast-feeding) holidng her more upright or sit her in the car seat. Also, my kids wanted more time to nurse when i was home and also woke up more frequently at night for a while during the adjustment of me returning to work. enjoy the adult world but treasure your family and find delight in your children.

We used the Playtex Ventaire Natural Shape Nurser bottles. The bottle is really wide so supposedly it feels more like a breast, and it was really great about having no bubbles. I always hear good things about the Avents and Dr Browns, too, but it seems like some babies really prefer one over the other. But we always liked the Playtex ones. Whatever you get, be sure you're only using the newborn/slow flow nipples -- you shouldn't ever use faster nipples with a breastfed baby.

I think it's pretty normal to have fussiness at first. The bottle just isn't the same thing. My daughter fussed and wailed the first week I went back to work (3 days, full time, in the first week). It took about 5 days of me working for her to resign herself to tolerating a bottle from daddy in my absence. And, we'd been giving her a bottle once a day for 2 months before I went back! It just wasn't what she wanted.

I had to return to work after 6 weeks so I gave my son pumped milk too from the bottle. He was very accepting of it (I am lucky), but I did notice that he didn't like the bottles with the smaller nipple. I always had to use the wider nipples. Thy are out there. Just have to try different ones. Good luck!

We had a similar problem with my son and bottle feeding. Also with a boy I was babysitting who didn't want to take a bottle from me, or anyone else for that matter. I found that the best way to get them to "give in" was to just keep at it. Also, using formula in Avent bottles helped as well. My pediatrician told me that sometimes they taste the breast milk and think: "hey, this comes from mom! Where is she?" and won't drink it. Also, the smells of mom might make him look for you too, so I would take those away and just let him smell dad and formula for a while. Then once he gets into the bottle for a couple of weeks, re-introduce bottle breast milk since it's way better for baby anyway. The other thing I was told by my pediatrician is that refusing to eat like that, really won't hurt the baby. If he's really hungry, he'll break down and eat. Be sure you keep up with it however because the older he gets, the harder it will be to teach him to take a bottle. NOW is the time. I never had to work outside the house and so my son never ended up giving in and taking a bottle and I can't tell you how many times I wish he would have. The boy I babysit, however, eventually learned that the bottle was food. Keep in mind that one day a week isn't going to harm your baby. They have lots of reserves. Plus, the fact that he's being so stubborn probably means he's very smart.

I ended up feeding my son Similac when I wasn't available. It seemed he had a weird sense of what was right: others gave him juice, Similac, water and only Mommy gave him breast milk. Go figure.

Hi Tiara,
I was given Avent bottles and my daughter took quickly to them at about the same age as your daughter. They are designed to promote breast feeding and reduce colic. Avent also makes a bottle warmer, it really helps to get the bottles warm while I hold my daughter so I can soothe her if she is crying, but it is kind of spendy. Also, if your daughter takes a Soothie pacifier, there is a bottle/nipple that is designed like the Soothie that might work.
R.

I Completly disagree with Dena B. (last response). Good for you for taking a day to yourself. This will never shortchange your children. As far as your daughter goes, she will learn to take the bottle from your husband. Children do not starve themselves, they don't have the ability to do that. To make you feel guilty about taking a day to work so your husband can bond with the baby is wrong and an irresponsible response. Good Luck and you will get thru this little hiccup!

I had the same problem when I first went back to work, and my little one would not eat the deligently pumped breast milk daddy had for her. The shirt thing worked pretty good, but we also picked up a bottle by First Years brand called Breastflow. It has a double nipple and is supposed to imitate the real thing (which, in reality, nothing ever does). This is what worked for me, but every baby is different. Good luck!

A.