38 answers

Bra Question 12 Year Old Help!!! = )

Well, this may be a little weird, but I am the kid in this scenario. My mom keeps bugging me about bras, and I wear a sports bra, but she thinks it is outgrowing me. I really don't want to wear a cup bra, but I know I probably should. I just need support, and I do need it because I am pretty evenly proportioned now, I'm not overweight, but I'm not one of the little skinny cheerleader girls either. I don't know what to do. ( Sorry about bothering all you moms!) Is there some sort of bra that will give support and is like a sports bra, or should I just give in?

2 moms found this helpful

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Featured Answers

I wear a wireless triangle one. You can get them at Target. They don't have a formed cup like a wonder bra type but they give good support without making you look to 'cheerleaderly'. Underwires are the worst invention of all time!!!

You definitely need a regular bra now! My daughter and all her friends starting wearing them around 11. Go the girls section at Target and they have a lot of options.

Hello T.,
I like the "shelf" bras, personally. Super comfortable and kind of like a sports bra. Gap has some:

More Answers

When my daughter was your age, I took her bra shopping at a really good department store as she had outgrown the sports bras. You need to go just with your mom or another adult female you are comfortable with and you need to get properly sized (if you are not too embarrassed) and just try on bras until you find the one that fits you and is comfortable. Everyone's taste and comfort level is different. My daughter loved underwire bras and still does. I HATE underwire bras. Sometimes you have to try on a couple of dozen until you find the right one. When it fits properly, doesn't bind, and you can move freely without pinching or chaffing, then you have the one. Buy three. One to wear, one to wash, and one in the drawer. You will probably out grow them in a few months and you will have to do this all over again. Good luck. It can be a good mother daughter bonding time. PS Don't let any younger or older siblings or dad come. This is a girls only shopping trip. Maybe grandma could come.

Get used to trying on several styles and several sizes...that's how bra shopping will always be. You won't grow to one size and stay that way forever. Your bust will change size and shape every few years throughout your whole life, and the bra that fits will have to change too. It's just reality.

I can understand your concern. I got my first bra at age 12 and it was very hard. I found the bra very intimidating. I would ask you - what do you like about the sports bra? Is it the fabric? The way it fits? or How it makes your breast look?

What is wrong with the sports bra? My sports bra gives me good support because it is well made.

You could consider the following
1. Jockey makes simple bras in cotton - which are nice because the fabric is a natural fabric.
2. Ask someone you feel comfortable with to take you to a store that specializes in women's undergarments and have a fitting - the right fit really makes a difference.
3. Ask around for a sports bra that has better support.

Good luck.

T., I remember being in your exact shoes when I was eleven. My mom and I both knew I needed a bra with cups (I wasn't wearing even a sports bra). My mom took me shopping, and my grandma, aunt, and girl cousins showed up. I was so embarrassed. If I had to do it over again, I would have asked my mom to take me alone and we would both pick out something together. Wearing a bra is something you will be doing from now on. It may be a little uncomfortable at first (I'm getting used to a new one right now), but it will get easier. Your mom really does want what's best for you. Hopefully, the two of you can make the shopping trip something special.

Hello. There are various bras available. Jockey makes many soft cup bras that give plenty of support without wires. Hanes makes a few nice bras as well. The only solution is to go and try on many styles. I am sure you will find something that is not a "mom" bra if you take the time to look. Or you can get the sports bras that have cup support. Champion makes a whole line of them in great colors. It is very important to wear something that gives you proper support. I know at 12 it seems ridiculous to think about the breast tissue sagging but if you are larger than a B cup and do not have a good bra it will become uncomfortable to do you favorite sport activities and eventually can lead to back pain. I suggest you take a friend or cousin or someone that is not your Mom and go Bra Shopping.
Target and other retail stores have a broad selection. You do not have to go to one of the "specialty stores" that cater to the grown ups looking for fancy lace and colors.
Hope this is helpful to you.

I am almost 40 and loathe cup bras... so freakishly uncomfortable. Occasionally, I have to wear one in a dress and it is the worst most miserable experience. I can't wait to take it off. Sports bras give you support and let you breathe too. I would not rush to make yourself miserable. Wear whatever is comfortable. Show your Mama the responses you get here, so she knows you are not alone.

Speedo (and several other's) make underwire sports bras... no uni-boob!... and excellent support.

Nordstroms has my alltime favorite bra fitters (which makes a HUGE difference in how a bra fits/feels... most of the time you shouldn't even be able to feel it... if you're being poked, pinched, scraped, wobbling about, "hovering" (where the bottom of the bra or the triangle bit don't actually touch your skin) or double-boobing (when the breast pokes out over the top edge of the bra) it's the wrong size. I thought I was a 36D for years. Turns out I was actually a 34DDD. Even though I always measure initially as a 40 or 42, my ribcage ducks in. Bad fitters have tried to insist that I wear the 40 or 42 (ummmm...no), while the Nordstroms fitters always just laugh at the effect and bring back the different sizes until the "triangle" is resting on my sternum and the girls are up where they belong. Nowadays I'm a 38DDD, and holding. I can go left a size (36DDDD) but not right (40DD). Most of us can move in one direction or another, but not both. My BFF can go right from a 34C to a 32D, but not left. A good bra fitter will also find your "range"... which opens you up to finding more styles and better fit. Don't be surprised if you go through 30+ bras trying things on, and that's AFTER you find your "perfect" size.

DO remember... bra fitters have seen us ALL naked. From skinny-miny things to my sister (the 44J-46i) to 80 year old women....to everyone in between So no shame!

Um... I'm a 12 year old boy, and I talk to all my friends that are girls about this stuff... you should just go to a cup bra unless you don't feel comfortable, then try to find a sport bra thats your size (you might think I'm weird, but just take my advice. Trust me, me and my friends talk about this all the time.

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