18 answers

Boys Kissing

My 4-year old boy is kissing other boys on the lips at daycare. He has a younger brother and is very affectionate with him also. He also has an older sister whom plays very well together, but not as affectionate. He looks at my younger son with loving stares sometimes. I have talked with him more than once about kissing others especially boys. What should I do or should I be worried.

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So What Happened?™

Thank you! Well some of the teachers there are permissive (couldn't care any less). I had a fit because they didn't tell him anything at all or myself. My 6 year old told me. I was furious and they almost lost my business with 3 children. He still does it from time to time. I just sat him down and talked to him about kissing on the cheek,but not okay for anyone but family because of germs. But thank you for your input! **this was a mssg to one person, but is appropriate for all who replied, thanks again!**

Featured Answers

We are in the same boat - have a very loving affectionet little boy who at home knows we kiss when we leave. Well, he started doing this with his friends and we are working on teaching we only kiss family. My husband showed him the "cool" way to say bye to his buddies - ie High Fives and shaking hands and such.

Good Luck!!

2 moms found this helpful

What should you be worried about?

If you don't like him kissing people outside of the family on the lips tell him, like the previous poster suggested, that he kiss on the cheek.

If you're worried for other reasons, then there are bigger issues. You need to stop and take a look at why you feel this inappropriate. He's just a kid. It doesn't mean anything other than he likes his friends. I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. Relax, he's just a little kid.

2 moms found this helpful

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Ummm, no kissing on the lips is NOT ok. Sorry. It's how germs and diseases are spread (hello herpes!!) Not saying *your* child is spreading germs, but when they kiss on the lips it's a prime way to spread germs/diseases. And you don't want DS picking anything up from other kids.

I'll second Sindy in saying to teach him to kiss on the cheek, or maybe just hug. As far as the 'boys' thing, it's just being affectionate, that's a good thing!

4 moms found this helpful

How about teaching him to kiss on the cheek? Start it at home with you, hubby and siblings. Instead of making a big deal out of it or talking about it. Just make it a habbit (as best you can) that everyone only kisses each other's cheeks unless they are married. I have a four-year-old girl who is saving her hugs and kisses for her husband (at least that is what she tells us when we ask for one) LOL Good luck

3 moms found this helpful

What difference does it make if it's boys or girls? At this point, it isn't sexual, it's just affectionate. Don't be worried! Just teach your son that you don't kiss people who aren't in your family, or like another poster suggested, to kiss on the cheek. Don't scold him, because it's actually very sweet, but remind him regularly that kisses are for those in the family. You'll get there.

3 moms found this helpful

What should you be worried about?

If you don't like him kissing people outside of the family on the lips tell him, like the previous poster suggested, that he kiss on the cheek.

If you're worried for other reasons, then there are bigger issues. You need to stop and take a look at why you feel this inappropriate. He's just a kid. It doesn't mean anything other than he likes his friends. I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. Relax, he's just a little kid.

2 moms found this helpful

We are in the same boat - have a very loving affectionet little boy who at home knows we kiss when we leave. Well, he started doing this with his friends and we are working on teaching we only kiss family. My husband showed him the "cool" way to say bye to his buddies - ie High Fives and shaking hands and such.

Good Luck!!

2 moms found this helpful

just keep telling him that we cant kiss our friends on the mouth at day care. that those kisses are for his mommy daddy and family. it seems like you said hes just very affectionate and theres nothing wrong with it as long as its in an appropriate setting.

2 moms found this helpful

I know a lot of people suggested kissing on the cheek. But, a lot of schools discipline children for any kind of touching. The best thing to do is to teach keeping his hands and lips to himself. I know it sounds crazy but I have seen the way my son hugs others and has been hugged....they usually end of on the floor. It is more of a wrestle to the ground, then a hug. The daycare has several songs about keeping their hands to themselves..
http://www.songsforteaching.com/jackhartmann/s/hands2your...
Yo gabba gabba has one too.

1 mom found this helpful

It does not matter that is boys or girls, but at school, we do not kiss on the lips.. It is a germ issue..

He is still a little by and is affectionate, but once in school there are rules that we keep our bodies to ourselves..

1 mom found this helpful

He's just being affectionate and showing how much he loves his friends, boys, girls or animals. The only reason I would correct him is for the germs. Tell him you can kiss mommy and daddy and bro's and sis, becasue we "share" our family germs but everyone else we have to be careful, becasue you don't want to catch a cold or give one to a good friend. That's it. Because it's mainly boys shouldn't be an issue, they are his friends.

1 mom found this helpful

I'd go with the idea of saving the kisses on the mouth for family. Also you may want to remind him that not everyone wants to be kissed, and that the day care may have rules about it. I think it's sweet that he still wants to be this affectionalte!

K. Z.

1 mom found this helpful

i would tell him to stop. thats a great way to get sick and pass the sickness around. i am supprised the daycare hasnt put a stop to it. its also rude if the other person dose not want to be kissed. i would explain to him about kissing and you only kiss family or spouses. not friends. good luck.

It's interesting how many are "worried" or "not worried". People are right that now it's only a way to show affection and that you should teach him only to kiss the family. Too many germs out there. I had to teach my very affectionate 4 yr. old son the same thing with his best friend because his friend was uncomfortable. He doesn't do it anymore, but still does with us. It's confusing for them who to be affectionate with just like figuring out who is a stranger to them. However - as one answer went, if he's 12 and still doing it, worry? - no - don't worry. Just talk to him about it in a kind and loving manner. Are you worried he's gay? If so, would you love him less?

Just start kissing him on the cheeks.. He's just imitating you.. Just say "_______, we're going to start doing smooches on the cheek, because it's just soooo much nicer!!" be enthusiastic and he'll follow your lead.
And with friends- have hubby initiate high 5's and other typical male greetings-
I wouldn't worry about him associating it with anything sexual. My daughter licks me (god knows for what reason), I just tell her "Eeeewww.... Mommy has lotion on her skin, that must taste YUCKY!!!" and I make a yucky face... (I don't want her going around licking people......)

I really don't think you should be worried at all. Like the others have said, he's just a little boy, he doesn't understand all the "adult" stuff that you might be worried about. All he knows is that's how you show someone you care about them. I have a 4 year old boy also, and he's always kissing his little brothers. (when they're getting along! lol) I'm also having to teach him that kissing on the lips is for family only. He gets confused and doesn't really understand why at times, but he'll get there, as will your boy. All my boy really knows right now is family, (he's not in daycare or anything and I don't really know any other kids) so it's a little hard. But trust me, as for right now, you have nothing to worry about...he's only 4! :P If you really don't like him kissing other kids at all, just teach him that hugs are okay.

Hope this helps and good luck! :D

Definitely don't worry:) He is just a little sweetie pie, that's all. I would just tell him that kissing is just for the family. We only kiss mommy, daddy, bubba, etc.. If he asks why, which he probably will, I would just tell him that kissing is special you don't just do it to everyone, just family. Congrats on having such a sweet boy!

He is just young. Don't worry too much yet. If he is still kissing other boys at 12, then I would worry.

I wouldn't worry about it. Boys aren't into girls like other boys at this age. He may feel a strong bond with your younger son. My son has been known to kiss other boys. Other than that, he is a boys boy! He thinks it's funny and often does it to get a rise out of his friends who are boys. For whatever reason, he knows it's inappropriate to go around kissing girls (how, I don't know). He does kiss his little sister (because she's "cute" he says) but he kisses my best friend's baby boy too (also because he's cute and loves babies and younger kids). He's just very affectionate and loving. His friends don't like the kissing and get annoyed. After telling him over and over that boys don't think that's cool, it's mostly stopped. Bottom line is to gently continue explaining to him why he should stop. If he wants to show his brother affection, kiss him on the cheek (so germs are not spread) and give him lots of hugs and snuggling. Go with it. It's the best when siblings are so close!

Maybe Your Son Is Gay Meaning that in the best way possible if it gets worse try hold him back a little bit like maybe limit him to a hug with his mates .
You cant change the way he is :) You can try though...

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