18 answers

Boys & Girls in the Bathtub

My nephew and daughter have always taken a bath together when they were together. I was fine with it when they were younger. But now, my daughter is 3 and he is 5. I am not comfortable with them bathing together anymore, but my sister doesn't feel there is anything wrong with it. What do you think? When should boys and girls stop bathing together?

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What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for your response! I have decided to tell my sister no more co-bathing. I already discussed it with my daughter and she didn't seem to care. I don't know how my nephew will take it, but that will be up to my sister. Thank you again for all your help.

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My son is 7yrs and my daughter is 3yrs. They still take baths together and no questions have come up yet. My 7yr old asks if he and his sister can take a bath, becuz they play so well. Until I see it become an issue, they can continue..Every child is different, so its up to the parent.

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My 3yr old boy,five yr old girl and 8 yr old boy still like to bathe together, I have started trying to get ods to take a bath on his own but it isn't as much fun for him, and they don't see anything wrong so I have let it go. I have never seen my 8yr old with an erection nor has he engaged in "feel good" play around his sister. The 2 yr old does more of that. I decided not to make an issue until they start wantng their own orivacy.

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My son and daughter love taking baths together, and were upset when I stopped it a few months ago, at ages 3 & 5 - they started showing interest in each others private parts. Now, on weekends, I let them take a bath togehter with their bathing suits on! They look forward to playing together in the water, and will sometimes stay in there for an hour, which is a great time killer during this freezing weather!

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My kids-son, 6, and daughter, 3, bathe together for quite some time. It only stopped because they started making too big a mess together. I planned to let it go on until one or the other started showing too much interest. Kids will pick up on your discomfort. I don't think that being cousins, and not siblings, matters. Yes, if you're not comfortable, you should probably stop it, but be prepared to explain why. But, what is the big deal? As far as they are concerned, they are friends having a good time together.

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My two are 3 & 4 about to be 4 & 5. They have always bathed together and always supervised. On occaission, me or husband will put them both in shower with either of us as well. We view nudity as a matter of fact. It is just how God made us. Haven't had any problems with wierdness yet, but have began to wean from showering with us & we are currently starting to let each kid bathe by themselves twice a week. So we will eventually transition to everyone bathing by themselves, but we aren't going cold turkey so kids don't get a message that nudity is wrong, but just that they are old enough to clean themselves. We have taught them that touching other peoples private areas is wrong and that mom & dad touch theirs only for cleaning & if anyone is touching them they are to scream "NO I don't like that Do not touch me in my private areas" as loud as possible and tell someone they trust like parents, grandparents, or teacher. At this point though, you are beginning to feel uncomfortable and so it is time to stop, or at the very least wean them from this activity together. I would never leave them unsupervised for sure. Hope this helps you. I would talk to your sister and just tell her it makes you uncomfortable and ask her for her input on how to transition to them bathing seperately. This does exclude her from the decision, but includes her in the solution and together I'm sure you both can come to a great one for the both of you.

1 mom found this helpful

My son is 7yrs and my daughter is 3yrs. They still take baths together and no questions have come up yet. My 7yr old asks if he and his sister can take a bath, becuz they play so well. Until I see it become an issue, they can continue..Every child is different, so its up to the parent.

1 mom found this helpful

My 3yr old boy,five yr old girl and 8 yr old boy still like to bathe together, I have started trying to get ods to take a bath on his own but it isn't as much fun for him, and they don't see anything wrong so I have let it go. I have never seen my 8yr old with an erection nor has he engaged in "feel good" play around his sister. The 2 yr old does more of that. I decided not to make an issue until they start wantng their own orivacy.

1 mom found this helpful

The answer depends on every child. At some point, probably through observing classmates' behaviour in the bathroom at school, the 5-year old will become "self-aware" and modest. Until then, they are innocent and don't know any better. But you are the parent, and it's your call. As the parent, you have the right to tell your sister no co-bathing. But you also need to able to explain to your 3-year old why in a way she can understand. For reference, my sister and I stopped bathing together when I was 7 and she was 5. My neices stopped with the oldest was 6 (two girls). My two cousins stopped when the oldest was 7 (two boys). It's probably just a short matter of time for your nephew before modesty sets in.

They are past the age that it is appropriate. Most incest, that is reported, is between relatives of similar ages. They are too old. He is physically old enough to start getting erections and start focusing on feel good play.

my bro and i did for a long time, I cant remember how long. My mom put in lots of bubbles and we mostly did our own thing at each end of the tub while my mom sat on the toilet and read a book. If they're unsupervised, it might be a problem, but if you or your sister are in there with them, it should be ok, depending on the kids, of course.

I'm curious about this question too! I have a 4 year old daughter and a nephew who's 6 months older. They love to take baths together in our master tub (huge tube). Since they are supervised, I know they are not doing anything wrong or making any questionable comments. Additionally now we generally but bubbles in the tub, so no privates can be seen.

I also have a 17 month old son and often bath him and my 4 yr. old daughter together. Only once has she ever noticed her brother's parts and when she asked what it was, I simply replied "girls have a v.... and boys have a p.... (not sure if they will block my post if I write the entire word). My response was very matter of fact and she said ok and went onto play, never questioning it again.

if brother and sister i would say, ok one more year but cousins, time to stop. plus they're so curious about their bodies at this age i wouldn't want them looking at each other's body. tell your sister time to cut the cords :)

Time to stop when someone is uncomfortable, including you. Just stop. They have other play time together and you can afford another tub of water over being uncomfortable. You are going to have harder decisions to make, don't fret over this one.

Time to separate them is now. They are too old to share bathing and potty and bathrooms together. He is close to school or in school and they are not allowed to share bathrooms there. They are just too curious now. G. W

My two little ones still bathe together, They are boy (3yrs in April), and Girl (5 yrs in May). I don't really see an issue with then together, watching them closely they don't even notice each others parts or at least don't make any comments as of yet. So for now we will continue. That is not to say that you do feel uncomfortable with it and you need to go off your comfort level. If my husband starts to show that he is not comfortable with them taking bathes together then we will stop. He was uncomfortable with taking showers with my daughter when she hit 3 years old and I respected that. Now I don't really think that them being cousins really changes anything. They are still just little kids, brother and sister or not. But everyone has their own thoughts and ideas on what is right and it is just fine to stop now if you feel uncomfortable!

I agree that there is a difference between cousins and siblings in this case. In the instance of siblings, I really don't think it would matter until one of them begins puberty (assuming there is nothing sick in the family dynamics). With cousins, though, I think the timing is about right for the boy - five or six is about when he's going to start seriously paying attention to the differences between boys and girls. Your daughter is still probably too young for it to affect her, but the boy is about at the age where he needs to be developing a natural modesty.

I agree that he is too old for a bath with the opposite sex. If they were both 3, then ok, but after that only baths with the same sex, in my opinion.

I don't think there any a "right" age for kids to stop bathing together. That being said, if you aren't comfortable with the situation then stand firm in your decision and say NO.

They need to seperate. The 5 year old boy is too old now. My daughter just turned 6 and I couldn't imagine her taking a bath with the opposite sex. They are too curious at that age.

I don't think there is a difference between cousins/siblings. If you are uncomfortable with it, then it should stop. My son and neice are the same age and we stopped at 4(they are 7 now).

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