17 answers

Boy Playing with Himself

I am a first time mom and I did not have any brothers. My son is going to be three in November and he has been playing with his peni a lot. When I go into his room to get him to school he is laying down on his bed with his hands on his pants.

I don't know how to approach the situation. I don't want to make a big deal out of it but I don't want him to think it is okay and do it in public neither.

Has anyone gone through this with their boys and how did you handle it.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

You ladies are awesome!!! I have followed the ignore method and it has worked great. He no longer does it unless he has to go Pee.

Thank you so much!

Featured Answers

Hey, I am with the rest of the ladies. I have 2 boys(14 and 10) and when they were small, they did the same thing. Teach him only in appropriate places. In public is not good. My 10 year old still plays with his, even in public. Then I have to tell him that that is not the time or place. He is autistic. Good Luck!!

My son did this as well. I just told him that it wasn't a toy and get his hand out of his pants. I didn't make a big deal, just told him no and he eventually stopped.

More Answers

I have a 4 year old son that does the same. I think it is just a facination for boys (all boys). My son like to tell me when it is hard that his pee pee is big now. I don't make a big deal about it and change the subject. He hasn't done it out in public and I am hoping that day will never come. But for your case, I would just act like it isn't a big deal. You know kids, the more you make of a situation the more they strive for that attention.

If he is only doing it in the morning I wouldn't worry in any way, it is just his morning wood and that is pretty awesome for him. My two boys love to play with themselves, as long as no one else touches them and they don't do it inappropriately it is fine in our house. The more you accept it and make it okay, the less they do it in my opinion. Of course, never in public and if they are doing it inappropriately I just make them go to their room to do it. It works for us and is just a normal part of having boys:)

My son did this as well. I just told him that it wasn't a toy and get his hand out of his pants. I didn't make a big deal, just told him no and he eventually stopped.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the act itself. Both boys and girls are just curious with their bodies. And for boys, playing with that sensitive area just feels good, in a completely non-sexual way. That's why they do it.
But I do think it's a good idea to discuss privacy and what things are okay to do in private and which things are okay to do in public. That's definitely a private activity.
I have twin boys who are only 18 months and they like to feel around that area as well. And their 5 year old half sister was very adamant that they not do that. I had to explain to her that it's not a bad thing, that it's completely natural to be curious about your body, but that it's something you want to do in private.

Sorry this is so late! I had a similar experiene with my daughter. The pediatrician checked her and she had a bladder infection causing irritation. She was treated and it stopped.
Give him cranberry juice.

I grew up with seven brothers. Just tell him that he is only to do it when he is in bed. That it is wrong to do it in front of other people. That way you are not telling him it's wrong. You are just letting him know when it is ok to do it. He will out grow this.

Hey, I am with the rest of the ladies. I have 2 boys(14 and 10) and when they were small, they did the same thing. Teach him only in appropriate places. In public is not good. My 10 year old still plays with his, even in public. Then I have to tell him that that is not the time or place. He is autistic. Good Luck!!

Hello T.,
You've gotten some great advice already but I wanted to add, dont be worried about it. Boys are gross lol. Just kidding. My son is also 3 and has gone threw that off and on, sometimes he plays more with it then other times. Luckly he isnt doing it as much, I think all little ones "explore" themselves. Just let him know to only do it at home, not at school or in public places because no one wants to see him playing with his pee pee. Thats what I tell mine, and he thinks its funny.

At 3, ours went through that too. We told him it was OK as long as he did it in his own room and not in public. We did NOT make a big deal about it. He's 4 now, and I can't remember the last time he did it, in public or private!

Hello T.

My son does the same thing and from what I understand it is very normal. I just have to tell him that that is something he does in his room by himdelf ,, he says oh ok mama.. I try to keep it very simple . and not make it a big deal . I hope this helps a little .

Christy

Hi T.. I have 3 boys ages 3, 6, 8. They all have seemed to do it at some point or another. I try not to make a big deal about it. I simply tell them it is something we don't do in front of other people. They can do it in their rooms or bathroom. From everything I have read it is a normal thing for boys and to not call too much attention to it. It may be a good time to start talking to him about inappropriate touching too.

first, don't be too concerned. he happened to touch it one day and realized that it felt good. don't punish him, or tell him that its bad. but do teach him that he can only do that in his private time. ie: by himself in the bathroom, or bedroom.

I have 2 boys and it is completely normal. As long as it is in the privacy of his room, then I wouldn't worry about it, but if he starts doing it in public or in front of friends or other family members, then you need to teach him that it is not appropriate when he is with others. It will eventually stop or at least lessen. It is completely exploratory, all they know is that when they touch themselves it feels good, that's it nothing more.

LOL! I felt the same way. My oldest never really did it, but my youngest, who is almost 4, is very much like your son. I just explain to him that it isn't a toy and shouldn't be played with. It is for peepee only. I know this sounds silly, but one day he was just having a field day and I kept telling him it wasn't a toy. Then I asked him if he could buy one at Target - of course he said No, so I again told him - so it isn't a toy and don't play with it. For some reason that stuck and when I see him I will mention Target and he quickly stops. :-) Stupid I know, but it seemed to work.

Good luck! They are boys and I suppose that's what they do.

It is completely normal. And not just boys fondle themselves. I have a 3 year old daughter and she is also the same way. You can use it as an opportunity to get 2 messages across. I let her know they are called privates for a reason. It's ok to touch ourselves in private, but we don't do it in front of other people. The other message is that it's ok to touch ourselves, or for mommy and daddy when we're washing/cleaning after potty or for a doctor when mom or dad is present, but otherwise it's not ok for anyone else to touch them on their privates. I don't think 3 is too young to casually introduce that second message.

I teach pre k and we nap. I can say that MOST of the little boys I have had throughout the yrs. have done this at nap time. As a mom I only have girls so when I started teaching I was like OMG!!! then with talking with other teachers... found it is normal. Hope this helps a little. :)

It's perfectly natural and I would not make a big deal about it. If he does it somewhere else in the house you don't like or in public, let him know it's okay if he wants to do that, he just has to do it his room.

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