28 answers

Boy and Girl Teenagers Going to the Movies ?

My 13 year old daughter asked the permission to go to the movies with a group of friends including some boys from her class. It's a new thing. Until now, she has been always with only-girl group. We are not sure that's appropriate, and since she asked at the last minutes so we said no. She is really disappointed. According to her, her friends (the boys) are all good kids in her honor classes and they wouldn't do any thing wrong . we had had previously a talk about "wrong" things that could happen in a dark movie theater-including having sex. I think we were honest with her and explained the reason why we hesitated to let her go. I have to admit that I also thought about her reputation, assuming the kids are only friends and nothing bad happens. People can still talk.
Do you think it's appropriate at that age for going to the movies in a group of boys and girls?

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Thank you so much for all the advices. Yes, I will let my daughter go to the movies with her friends. I don't know all her friends personally. I know them by reading their text messages and Facebook!

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Yes it is appropriate - they are going to a public place in a group. Chapperone if yuo are paranoid - go to another movie in the same theater at the same time.

1 mom found this helpful

Being a step-mom, NO I do not think it is ok with out some supervision. However, we have had no say in his 13 year old daughter being left there with her boy friend.

I remember doing that in the 7th grade--also going to the skating rink with a mixed group. I would allow it, just be there at pickup and dropoff. Maybe just happen to see the same movie and sit way away and give them their space if it would make you more comfortable. I have a 15 and 17 yr old btw.

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I do think its appropriate, I think not letting her go will do more damage in How she feels you think of her, Like trust issue's. If she is a good kid and you trust her, then why not let her go? She is feeling like you don;t trrust her to behave and that hurts when you have done nothing to not be trusted.

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my parents had a range for dating: 13 for group dates, 14 for double, and 15 for single dates. based on that i would say yes. now would i drop her off personally and pick her up? yes, atleast a time or two to ease my mind. but other than that, it's okay.

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Yes, I think it is ok.....The hard part is realizing our daughters are growing up and we as parents have to start letting go..

Going to the movies is a big deal and a lot of fun for that age group. They are building social skills with friends. Just because boys and girls are at the movies does not mean they are at the movies having sex. I am sure some do.

Even when your daughter goes with a group of girls, rest assured, there are groups of guys there too. I know when my daughter was 13 large groups of girls and boys would meet and go to the movies.

Be open and honest with your daughter and everything should be fine. It sounds like she is a good kid. Trust that you have taught her well.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes it is appropriate - they are going to a public place in a group. Chapperone if yuo are paranoid - go to another movie in the same theater at the same time.

1 mom found this helpful

Well at least you know she's being honest with you- she could have just said that it was all girls! :) I don't think it is inappropriate at all if it is in a group setting. She is learning to have friendships and relate with girls AND boys. I have 5 children- 4 boys and 1 girl- my daughter (age 15) has some great friends that are boys! She hangs out with a group of friends that are girls and boys and this group has been friends since middle school (around your daughter's age). My husband and I have made it a point to get to know all of them- they come to our house quite a bit. We are a Christian family with strong morals-my daughter has gone through the "Purity Pact" with her best friend and now wears a purtiy ring. I know she isn't perfect, but I do know that her group of friends are from good Christian families and I have trust in her that she will act appropriately. We have had success in getting to know the kids' friends by allowing them to have them over to the house. Maybe this would ease any doubts that you may feel.
Hope this helps-

I see absolutely no reason not to let her go with a group of boys and girls. Yes, she is a bit young to begin dating, but what you are describing is not dating. As long as you know who she's with and where she is there doesn't seem to be an issue. I would let her go.

There are so few things for kids that age to do together socially, we frequently allow our 15 yr old dgtr to go to the movies in groups with girls and boys. Like other moms have said, its important that you know the kids, the only problem we ever had was one boy (strict private school kid, too) that was the "make out" king. Once we weeded him out of the group, it has been fine. My one and only rule is that I have to see her actually meet up with her friends before I pull away from the theatre. The short notice business never gets permission around here and there is usually car pooling involved so I talk to other parents when she is out. Communication is key at this age, yes, kids are out there making bad choices, but if you are constantly talking with your kid, chances are they are thinking through their actions before making mistakes. Good luck!!

I teach 11th grade AP English, and I currently have 2 pregnant girls, and 3 students who are parents. Two of the students who are parents had their children in the 9th grade, so they were having sex as early as the 8th or 9th grade (or maybe sooner). Honors/AP students mess around as much as the rest of the students, but some of them are smart enough not to get caught. Then again, some of them end up pregnant, or fathers.

Parenting is hard. I think it depends on the individual child as to when we should allow them to group date or go on individual dates. Just try to keep them talking to you so you will at least know what is going on in their lives, and so they will know they can come to you if they need help.

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