Boston Bombing and Being Scared.

I think Mr. Rogers said it best:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

My kids are older (youngest is 10), so I don't necessarily protect them from the news. We talk about it and I answer questions. I don't try to make sense of the senseless though. I think it's important when something like this happens, that my kids see my shock and horror, which is an appropriate reaction.

As for being scared, well, I'm not going to live my life in fear, so it's business as usual in our house.

Times like these with kids, I'm reminded of Mr. Rogers ....

"When I was a boy and would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of "disaster", I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by there are still so many helpers - so many caring people on this world."

Change the focus of the discussion from the evil to the amazing outpouring of help and community / country support and spirit.

ETA - found this post today on the Scilastic website ... http://www.scholastic.com/parents/blogs/scholastic-parent...

Perhaps the book she recommends will help some of the little ones.

I feel your pain. I live west of Boston and my son was not far from the blast scene, with many friends running in the race. I am glad you are safe, and a commend your daughter for her work at MGH.

Show them the extraordinary cooperation of all the people helping. Show them the LOVE and the COMPASSION in the situation. The blast site was just yards away from a fully staffed medical tent, filled with doctors and nurses who raced into crisis mode. There were ambulances, wheelchairs, and medical equipment (IVs etc.) on hand. Police and fire and paramedics and other first responders immediately went to work. FBI, Homeland Security, MBTA mass transit staff, police, fire, emergency management, Boston Athletic Association volunteers on site - EVERYONE is cooperating on the task force. The Mayor, the Governor, the President all went to work. There are no politicians now - there are public servants. There is no jockeying for power, for limelight. No fights about who is in charge. Hospitals have drilled for emergencies like this. Boston has some of the best hospitals in the world, and they are all working together.

Spectators immediately jumped in to help each other. No one pulled out guns to start shooting anyone "suspicious" - no, they started putting tourniquets on people, pulling down the barricades so responders could get to the wounded. Runners stopped and didn't try to push past police because "I need to finish the race." People lent each other cell phones (until service was shut down lest cell phones be used to set off additional devices). After 26 miles, runners continued an additional 2 miles to go to hospitals to donate blood. Runners who were medical people jumped out of the race path and into the pile of wounded to administer care. People opened their homes to marathoners who were now stuck in Boston and could not go home and had no hotels in which to stay. This is an international race, with people from all over the world. No one is labeling people from other countries as "terrorists" or "others". Everyone is working to help divided families find each other.

We are one world. We are one people. We stand for and with each other. Those who would do us harm will not overpower our resolve.

It kind of turns into a constant barrage, doesn't it?
Not just the media coverage for this incident but for every incident and the rapid occurrence of even more incidents.
People are not capable of living in constant stress and horror - so we learn to numb up more quickly with each repetition.
(That is SO depressing - but it is a valid survival/sanity tactic.)

To regain a feeling of normalcy, continue with normal routines as best as possible.
Turn off the news (tv, internet, radio, put newspapers away and read them later).
The PTB (Powers That Be) don't know anything new and won't for awhile so hearing about the horror and seeing the bloody pictures over and over repeated endlessly just does nothing to sooth anyone.
When ever they DO know something, they'll repeat that endlessly too - so don't be afraid you'll miss anything.
Watch DVD's instead of live tv.
If you need traffic and weather reports stick with traffic and weather sites - they will pretty much stick to their respective subjects.
Go outside and garden.
Walk and get some sunshine.

After college, I lived in Massachusetts for 10 years, including 1 year in Boston itself, just a few blocks away from Fenway Park and the portion of Beacon Street that serves as part of the marathon route. I have been present at the marathon closer to where it starts in Hopkinton and very moved by the sheer mass of humanity that turns out to either run the marathon itself, or just enjoy the sights and support the runners. I still have many friends and family in the area and I am very saddened by yesterday's events. For those who don't know, in MA it is Patriot's Day, celebrated to honor Paul Revere, and includes the Boston Marathon and a Red Sox game. It's a huge event and one of the biggest holidays in the area - it's part of Boston's identity. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone affected by this tragedy.

Our daughter is only 5 and we are keeping her away from the news and all the footage for now. If I had to say something, I would tell her that while there are bad people in this world who do evil things and try to hurt others, there are a lot more good people who want to help and make a positive difference. There is a quote by Mr. Rogers that I see circulate frequently in times like this that tells kids to look for the helpers - notice all the police officers, fire fighters, doctors and others that jump in to help those in need. Those are the people that we need to focus on, and be comforted by.

ETA: I found this link by George Takei, and loved it. Bottom line is, you don't f*** with Boston!
http://www.allegiancemusical.com/blog-entry/keep-running-...

I caught my 12 year old watching the Today Show this morning after I got out of the shower, so she's completely caught up on the situation (grrrr). She and my other daughters have spring break this week, so I suppose I would rather they find out at home than from their classmates.

I've made sure that she knows that the people who were injured are being helped and taken care of, and anyone still missing is being searched for. She in turn told me that Google is helping people too.

Here's the Google help link:

http://google.org/personfinder/2013-boston-explosions

As for my younger daughters, I'm still trying to shelter them until more information is known but I'm going to have to tell them something before they go back to school on Monday. I just don't want to give them the vague, "We don't know much" version because that causes my youngest daughter to feel much higher anxiety than she might otherwise. She's my worry wart.

So. What I do is talk to them (again) about safety in public. I talk to them about telling an adult if they see something out of the ordinary, and since they know what their surroundings normally look like then when something is out of place they should say something. If they feel uncomfortable about something, they should tell a grown up and explain why if they can.

We also talk about how important it is to do what emergency personnel tell us, but also how important it is to help others when the danger is over. We talk about what to do in an emergency and what to do if we get separated in an emergency.

We have these talks anyway, so it's not out of the ordinary to the girls to have them. They just figure it's "reminder time."

D., we are all thinking of the folks in Boston, their families and friends who live there. It is truly an awful thing that terrible people have done.

I would not allow your son to watch this on TV. None of it. The news sensationalizes it and turns it around every which way to Sunday, over and over. He doesn't need to see this. Heck, adults don't need to see it.

Just keep loving your family. Do normal things with them AS a family. You'll get through this.

Hold them, tell them you love them, an promise to protect them is really all you can do. Answer their questions as honestly as you can. How much information you can safely give depends on their age and temperament. You know your kid and what s/he can process. If you have the means to help the victims, let them participate if possible, even if it's just letting littluns raid their piggy bank for a 50-cent donation to the Red Cross.

Thanks for asking, the answers are giving me chills. What wonderful answers and perspective here!

Personally I think someone was ticked off at the IRS and this was retaliation. Does not appear to be any AlQuaida involvement. Keep the TV off and kids won't worry. In a day or two life will resume and the media coverage will be just a few mi utes here and there. My heart goes out to the people Of the marathon and those that have lost limbs and suffered injuries. Thank God the loss of life was Minimal. Although a child should never die. After living thru 9/11 in NYC and having a police officer husband and firefighter son, something like Boston does not throw me or other New Yorkers. Sad. The folks up there will be ok. It will take a bit of time, but they will be ok. What we saw on 9/11 no one should ever see.m somehow, we have all moved on. Time has a way of taking care of things. Keep the TVs off or if on make sure young kids are kept away. Prayers to the runners and their families and the spectators too. We really are living in a world gone mad.

I'm sick with grief. Even though I'm from the area, my relatives are still recovering emotionally from a former attack in another city, so my thoughts, prayers and love are centered on them. I think it is so important that we not succumb to the anger, the finger-pointing or reverse finger-pointing, but rather with love. All my best to you and your family.

After the OKC bombing I was so scared to go into big buildings where I couldn't see the parking lot, so I could see my escape at all times. I had a hard time getting over it. I think that finding other things to take up my thoughts really helped.

I feel bad for all of us. This is a terrifying experience for all of us, we put ourselves in those person's shoes and can empathize with their situation. I think it's hard but we will get through this. Time is not guaranteed to any of us, it could stop for any of us at any moment. We do NOT know when it is the last time we see someone.

I have lost several people already this year, none of them were ill or saying their goodbyes, they were all sudden. It makes me take all my family and actions more seriously. We should love everyone every moment and never take a chance that that will be the last thing someone remembers coming out of our mouth or our last action. Be nicer and kinder to everyone.