Bored Out of My MIND

D.,

Dealing with depression issues sucks! I too had a lil' bit of the baby blues after having my kids, but it did get better!

Bored out of your mind, huh?----How about reading? Your son is still very little and sleeps a lot, a few good books might be cool. I love to read. If you like Fiction/thriller/suspense type books I recommend Lisa Gardner. She writes FBI profiler type books. She has a whole series that are good quick reads. I also hear the "twilight" series is very good. I personally read all the Harry Potter books out loud to all my kids and my husband and I both thought they were really well written and exciting reads,(they are not just for kids) wish they had those when I was little and still believed in magic. Seeing how your husband is going to be away for 9 weeks you could finish all of those I've listed very easily.
----What about painting? Make a trip to the thrift store and find some cute side tables or something (or find something around the house you could play with) and give yourself a project! Mindless, time consuming, busy work that will make the time go by faster and might even be fun. You say you are trying to learn to crochet, so I bet you are the crafty type:)
----Then there is always exercise...its good for you and will make you feel better.
----Cooking, experiment with different recipes and build yourself a big cookbook of the winners, after all you will be cooking for FOREVER now that you are a mommy and a wife, and I am sure your husband would love that when he finally came back home!
----Take this time to be very dilagent about writing in your son's baby book, if he has one. My mom wrote in my baby book everyday and I loved reading it...this is advice I should take for myself!
----Do you have a video camera?(If you dont really try to get one) Make movies with you and your son everyday! Trust me, this is one you will be thankful you did when time passes and everyone gets older!!!

I am sure the other moms on here will have lots of other advice for you, these are just a few things that sound good to me, maybe not you...good luck kicking the boredoms butt:)

Congrats on the baby boy!
Boys rock!

K.

2 moms found this helpful

Find a grandma to teach you how to crochet. She may be able to teach you other crafts and home skills that you would enjoy, too. And I'll bet she'd love to spend time with you and your little boy.

Since you live in such a small community, it may be hard to find other women to meet with. But I bet there are ladies who live in outlying areas and come into town regularly for their mail and groceries. One of them might enjoy staying for coffee and visiting with you on her errand day. Is there a bulletin board to post community news and ads at the grocery store or post office? If so, pin up your request and see who's out there.

1 mom found this helpful

Just a thought - Maybe you could look online in Craigslist and see if there are other mothers out there that are in the same boat that you are in...build some friendships and have activities together. You could go to Momsclub.com and see if there is a club near you. Reading is good too - like mentioned before. What kind of hobbies did you do before you had your baby? Depression hits pretty hard and sneaks up on you rather quickly and you don't realize it. All of a sudden you are not only taking care of yourself, but a little angel as well to boot. I hope that you find something to help. Do you have a WII? You could do WII Fit - that might help you get up and move around and start your blood pumping and you would feel better about yourself too. Which helps with depression. Good luck - I hope you get some great advice here. Hugs.

1 mom found this helpful

Wellmama.org is a postpartum support site. Getting support is essential as PPD can go on and on if not helped. Don't isolate yourself, get out every day and see people even if it's just a trip to the grocery store. Counseling can make a huge difference in your child's first year of life -- I know because first child I had none and second child --what a difference! Take care and good for you for addressing this!

1 mom found this helpful

depression makes it difficult to find an interest. Depression is caused by several things. Whatever started the depression the depression causes chemical changes in our brain. Being pregnant and giving birth also changes our body's chemical make up.

Physical ctivity such as walking at least 20-30 minutes each day help the body fight the biological causes of depression. Sometimes I have to force myself out of the house. If you have stairs in your house, walking up and down them might help. Then there are all the other ways of getting exercise that have been mentioned. I've found that if I have a goal I can get out to walk better. Frequently my goal is to buy one thing at the store. Bread, milk, a can of peaches or a non-food item, chap stick, a barrette.

If you're not sure about taking medication try the things that have been suggested here. Walking to the store may create a friendship. Even tho I live in Portland, I have casual quasi friendships with a couple of store clerks. And these are not the personality types that I would ordinarily choose as friends. For me it's fun to chat a few minutes with almost anyone.

Your baby is small enough to carry in a front pack. If you start now walking with him you won't notice his weight so much as he gets heavier because you will be building strength.

I've lived in the country where there were no sidewalks and walking next to the road wasn't comfortable. If that's the case for you perhaps you could drive to a place to walk.

It is really important to get good exercise not only for your mental health but also your physical health. If you get started young it won't be so difficult to keep it up as you get older. The voice of experience. :)

I've had depression difficulties all of my life. I'm 66. The first 15 years of treatment was psychotherapy only. I was missing work. With therapy I could make it to work even when I felt like crying. Then along came medication. The first medications made me groggy until I got used to it. Then came the SSRIs. They help a great deal.

I love to read. My 3 brothers don't read anything but the newspaper. If you like to read a good book can take you out of the doldrums. I live an exciting vicarious life.
If you don't have a library near you, you can order books from the State Library.

If you have a car, a short drive, might help. Doing anything to get out of the house usually helps alot unless the depression is serious.

Finding and trying things to do is one way of finding out how serious your depression is. If you find that hardly anything takes the sad or even detached feelings away it is time to ask a doctor about medication. Writing to Mama Source is a good sign. smile!

1 mom found this helpful

Hey there,
Good job for being there for your son full time:) I'm a stay at home mom of a 20 month old girl. I tend to get bored easily too, so I thought I would share some things that I do when I'm feeling blaaah. :)
Go to Amazon.com and order some books that look really interesting to you.
I joined a really nice gym and my daughter and I go swimming there a lot (You said you lived in a small community but if you don't mind driving...)
Planting a vegetable garden is lots of fun and very rewarding! Yard work of any kind I highly suggest.
Make jewelry ( it is SO easy and really fun! I bought a guide book and all the supplies at a Wall-mart and it was really inexpensive too!
Enlarging and framing pictures and hanging them on the wall.
Running.
Get a membership to the nearest zoo, pack a lunch and take day trips to the zoo.
Organize stuff.
Bake and Bring cookies to your neighbors.
Learn to cook some really yummy soups.
Dance to music.
Buy a work out video ( a fun one, maybe even a striptease one to learn for your husband when he gets home! lol ) and do it everyday.
Anyway! I just threw out some ideas for you, maybe you'll like them and maybe not, but also remember that there are times in life when it is just slow, and we should just except it and enjoy it. There future will most likely be very busy for you, so enjoy it now and be patient:) ( easy to say I know :)
Have fun! ~Julie

1 mom found this helpful

Hello D.,

One thing that has helped me is to do eBay - I sell things on eBay. My husband and I do garage sales on Saturday - I'll do some on Friday and then I list the items on eBay during the week. It is a great little hobby that also bring us a little extra cash. I used to do all of this while my daughter slept, but now that she is older, I do it when I can.

I hope you town is big enough that you can find garage sales.

Positively,
M.

Hi D.,

The first few months with my first son and my second son were hard. There really is not much time for yourself. Taking walks with my little one every day helped me to regroup and feel re-energized. Are there any fellow moms with babies where you live? You could get together for playdates so both you and your baby have company. Maybe you should also talk to your husband before he'll leave for 9 weeks about your deprression. Depression is a sensitive issue and if you feel that you have serious depressions you should probably see a doctor. You are at a stage where you have to re-define yourself as a mom. It sounds to me that you are looking for somthing that helps you define who you are in this new role as a mom.

But you also asked for ideas of what to do to help your boredom, something like a hobby? Something fun to do while your little boy is napping. Do you enjoy doing things with photos and computers? Then you really might enjoy this: Digital storybooking and digital scrapbooking on www.MyLifeInStorybooks.com. I promise you will not have another minute of boredom again. Your boy will grow up so fast and maybe you'll find satisfaction, pride and joy in capturing these precious moments of his life. I've made baby books for both my sons and meanwhile other books for them (they are now 5 and 3 years old). They love their books also and read them all the time.

Now I need to say that www.MyLifeInStorybooks.com is my own website and I am an independent consultant for Heritage Makers, a fantastic online digital storybooking and scrapbooking company. I was not a traditional scrapbooker before nor was I very creative but now I just LOVE designing books, cards, posters, card games and more with photos from my kids, my parents, my husband's and my childhood and photos from my sons' preschools.

I don’t think this email format supports links otherwise I would include some fun digital book projects. You can email me at ____@____.com if you would like me to send them to you. Or you can go to www.MyLifeInStorybooks.com and check out the Template Gallery. That’ll give you a good idea about the fantastic things you can do with our program.

If you want to do more with your photos than holding them hostage on your computer I promise you will LOVE Heritage Makers. No matter where you live, I can help you get started!

Try it out and see if you find joy and fun in this creative and expressive activity. Please contact me if you have any questions.

My very best,

C.

Not sure where you live...but if there is a community that is close by that has a library, a community center, parks, etc. you can take the baby there. It is always easier to meet people when you have a baby (at least I think so)! Also, although you may have to drive a little (or a lot - not sure where you are), there are classes that are nice to take with babies (gym classes, music classes, swim classes)...at this stage, it is really about you making connections!

Hi D.,
We just visited North Pole last summer, what a neat town to live in! I remember the boredom at that age very well! Since the air force base is close, are you able to meet other Moms? I love to read, so I have a queue lined up on our library's website and I never lack for books. I got into scrapbooking, taught myself to knit using a round loom (much easier than with the needles, and a lot easier to put aside when the baby needs you). I also decided that I wanted to cook (and bake) better, so looked up a ton of recipes and have been making something new every week for my family. I love to garden, so I always have something growing (herbs in the winter on all available windowsills, flowers and veggies in the summer). The internet is truly wonderful, you can find friends on facebook (I'm very careful of our privacy, so I don't divulge a lot of info, but you can keep up with old friends) or classmates.com. I have also found a lot of Yahoo groups that share my interests.
Good luck!

It sounds like you need to make some connections. First I would recommend you find a MOPS group (www.MOPS.org). MOPS is an organization whose whole purpose is to grow stronger moms. MOPS saved me when I first became a mom and started staying home. Another thing you could do do is start taking your little one to the park.
Being home is what you make it, and it takes time to adjust to the change in lifestyle. If crocheting doesn't work for you try something else.

Hi,
My suggestion is try to find some type of moms group where you can get together with other adults once in awhile. That is very important especially when you're dealing with depression. I went through it myself. I have a 1yr old and a 2 1/2 yr old. You have to force yourself to seek out things to do. NOw that the weather is getting nice, go for walks. So where do you live that it's such a small town? I'm in the Spokane area, by the Idaho state line. If you're close by, I'd love to go for walks! Feel free to contact me. Congrats on you little one :)
A.
____@____.com

Does your town have a library? If so they might have story time for kids. Anything that gets you out of the house and around other moms and kids will help. When you see other moms with kids around town you can start a conversation by asking them what activities they do with their kids. The more moms you know the better. You can schedule play dates, while your son is a baby the play dates are really more about social time for the moms, but as your son gets older he will really enjoy the play time with other kids. Having a group of mom friends is also helpful for swapping child care time so that you can go the doctor or dentist or to an exercise class.

You can use meetup.org to find mom groups or other types of groups in your area. I see on your profile that you are in North Pole AK. There is a Fairbanks/North Pole Moms and Tots group listed on meetup.org that you could join. Maybe there is a crochet group or you could start one.

You can also search for a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group or a La Leche League (breastfeeding support) group in or near your town. If there isn't one nearby you could look into starting one. The MOPS website is
http://www.mops.org
and the La Leche League website is
http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Good luck!

Hi D.,

parties!!!! Tupperware, pampered chef, scrapbook, any kind of parties that you can book them and invite friends. You can really meet alot of fun people that way. Plus having the party to get ready for gives you something to look forward to. I usually have one a month at least because its just a great outlet and gives me time with my girl friends without the kids. Its great to join mothers groups, but sometimes to kick the depression you just need some good ol grown up girl time. Believe me, i have 5 of my own. Good luck, and keep your chin up honey. Things will get better:0)

Walking and keeping a diary of the beautiful nature that you are going to see unfolding around you.

Reading--I recommend Annie Dillard, Teaching a Stone to Talk. She was a Naturalist and her book really is impacting.

Finding someone you can write long letters to.

Reading about your son's developmental needs.

Making toys instead of buying them.

Finding someone in your village that will be a good friend despite their age difference.

Read trash novels or mystery books like Agatha Crystie!

Find someone you can visit out of town for part of the time your husband is gone.

for help with the crochet, check out how-to videos. there are a ton on youtube but i like this site too http://www.nexstitch.com/v_single_crochet.html

as for getting out, see if you can find some sort of group near you. check out www.meetup.com. you just put in your zip code and interests and it shows you anything close by. you can also start a group of your own. a friend of mine created a playgroup herself and now they have 32 members.

getting connected to people on the computer somehow is great, just make sure you don't get addicted to it.

good luck!

Well, the list seems rather extensive so I will digress to another area that occurred to me.
I'm thinking further ahead then your boredom of the moment... I'm thinking of the same problem 5,10,20 years down the road for your kid. Bored kids get in trouble. To help your kid not to have the same issue you are facing now, make sure to not always provide activity for him. He needs to learn very early on to self entertain in a way that is healthy, non-destructive, and enjoyable for him. I know many people who "have to entertain" their kids. This is not a help for the child and very weiring for the parent. How will they ever discover things about themselves if it is always provided for them and they never have to search for it on their own? In my experience,(I have three children who are VERY creative and never seem to be bored) having children with their own interest make for a more diverse family and interesting personallites ... my burden is light.I hope yours may be as well.
Happy Parenting!
:-)

Please consider calling your doctor and seeing if they have support groups for young parents. In Seattle they have PEPS groups - which are basically ways for you to get together with other folks with kids the same age as yours. I think this sort of resource would be invaluable for mental support, ideas, feedback, a reality check, etc. YOu could also look through the Le Leche league or something, maybe?

If your doctor doesn't already know about the depression, please talk to them about it.

As to things to do - i found things easier if set myself a schedule. I also scheduled time out of the house every day. Some days my time out of the house was to run errands - go to the store, or something like that. Other days it was a walk (preferably with friends). But setting myself goals (which included getting up, dressed, and out) really really helped me out.

If your husband is going to be gone this might be a great time to schedule a visit from grandparents, or to grandparents (aunts, uncles, good friends), if that sort of thing is feasible for you.

Besides getting together with friends, I love my Netflix subscription. I am on the plan where I get one movie at a time, which keeps me entertained but not in front of TV every day. You need to get out of the house & surround yourself with other Moms, especially when you are feeling down. Start an exercise program like walking every day. Pick a time of the day when your baby is sleeping & go for it. I also love to read & recently finished the Twilight series. You'll have to find books that appeal to you. I also spend my time documenting my son's development using an on-line journal (I post stories, photos & videos for family & friends to see). It is called www.blogger.com & you can customize it to fit your needs. Good luck!

Dear D.
Sweety there are so many things you can start a in home
garden if you don't have a yard & try sewing makeing things
crafts are grate there are tuns of them I'm sure you can
even find them on the enternet.
It's not real expensive to start,take some fake flowers &
a piece of hard foam make a center piece for your table
get some material make new kitchen curtains there are so
many things you can do just use your amaganation its a wonderful thing just try you will see.
God Bless J.--Mother of 4 wonderful children.

Just some thoughts.... Gardening, sewing, quilting...

Hi D.,

You've gotten some really great suggestions already, but another idea you might want to consider is to start a home-based business. Even if you don't need the extra income at this time, it will give you something to do and it's always nice to have a little money of your own for extra things.

There are many businesses that can be built over the internet so it doesn't matter if you are in a small community. If you are interested and would like some ideas, feel free to contact me or visit my wisit my website www.BellaMiaCandle.com

D.,
Do you have any mom's groups in your area? Do a google search for mom's group and your area. Also, there are alot of mom's groups on a site called Meetup. Trying searching there also. That is how I found a mom's group in my area. What area are you in?
I hope this helps. I understand how you feel. I have a 3 year old and a new born (1/20/09) and it is great to get out of the house and meetup with other moms.
Take care,
S.

Scrap booking! Start making a memories of your little one and your life. Do you go to church? Get involved in some sort of activity.

First you need to seek out other mothers with children close in age to yours. Don't worry about whether they are close to your age. Is there anything near by like a Gymboree or other class you could take with your baby. You may need to venture outside your town to find them. Don't be afraid to befriend someone at the park or the grocery store. You need other moms to support you. Go out for long walks. It will make you feel better and it's good for the baby to get some fresh air. There are also on-line parent support groups. Just google "parent support" and see what comes up. I think Parent magazine and Parenting have a blog or something you could check out. Best thing though is to find other moms in your area and make some new friends.

Just curious D., where do you live? I'm in a small town too but not as small as yours (and fairly close to Portland). I live in Eagle Creek. I have had a lot of luck meeting local mothers through church and actually through Mamasource. You might be surprized that there are other SAHMs in your area if you found a way to contact them. I started a playgroup at our local library and posted flyers around town, at the grocery store and restaurants, and had a few women contact me. I never would have known they were there otherwise! I'm always looking for new friends, contact me via private message and we could talk (or chat over the internet :-)

Hobbies...cooking, collections (gems, minerals, feathers, rocks), learning how to identify plants and animals in your area, use acrylic paints to paint rocks and silly things for your yard, gardening, reading....reading and more reading (you can never have enough education and information it really makes a person that much better). Identify birds using a bird book. Make home made baby food. Get a sewing machine and learn to make things for you and your family. Go to tea at the local cafe at least once a week and use the time to meet new people. Learn star constellations, with less people in a city you must have less light pollution which means beautiful sky gazing. All these things listed are activities you can do with your little one around. Oh ya, get some chalk and finger paint and let the two year old go wild with it, you can also make home made play dough and start letting your son use his dexterity playing with it. Do at home exercise such as yoga and meditation. Candle making, home made paper for albums, crafts.

Sky's the limit....

Reading is great - cooking, baking, sewing, quilting, knitting, and gardening.

Little is tough and I think you guys probably have great weather in the summer and not so much in the winter.

Ditto on the meet up groups - at least to get to know people. Once you find people set up a weekly playdate that rotates through people's houses - it's a great opportunity to make friends with kiddos.

Good luck to you!

now that the weather is starting to get nice, going to the park can break up that boredom. Also finding a moms group can really help. Check MOPS.org for a local group near you. How far do you live from the next town or a bigger town? Althought your baby is only 4 months old, play groups or play dates would be a good idea too. They are really more about you getting adult conversations during the day. You could also try reading or learning a new language? Good luck.

This may sound different to some but another idea if you are looking for things to do is if you have a computer or can get one is to find a game or few to play. There are lots of different kinds. if you would like to communicate with people and that especially during nap times there are great online games. I play world of warcraft and there is a trial version through their website you can download and try. if you like it its $15 a month after u buy the games which are easily found in stores and on ebay. they have where you can join groups or find friends to talk to through chat. its nice and fun to talk to people across the usa. if you would like more info please dont hesitate to message me. And like someone else said Ebay selling is great! its a wonderful way to make a little extra and get rid of extra stuff you no longer need or want. and there are nice programs for going out and meeting people. good luck! B.

I was bored too about that time with my first. Find a hobby. Reach out to friends in person or phone.
Take an online class. Expand your interests or earn a degree.
As it warms up spend more time outside. Its great for physical activity. physical activity and fresh air help with depression and are good for your and babies health.
Are there larger communities in an easy drive? Find out what they have to offer.

I was in the same boat as you when my son was born. It's not easy in a small town, but believe me, you'll find things to keep you occupied. I used to go walking a lot. You could get into scrapbooking, which is a wonderful hobby to get involved in. As for teaching yourself to crochet, just start out simple. That always works the best. Don't try to rush into doing any patterns just yet. You could also try your hand at knitting...sounds hard, but find yourself a book at the library that will show you pictures on how to cast off. Takes a bit of time, but it's fun. Check to also see if your community offers anything for families. I got my son and myself involved in First Steps and Early Head Start. Hope this helps! :D