My duaghter is 4. Her teachers at preschool say she plays alone-- not with the other kids. My daughter tells me she doesnt like the kids at school. At home she is prone to temper tantrums that can go on for 30or more minutes. A lot of temper tantrums start over a toy or an object that she wants and cant find or her brother has. Often her brother ends up giving her whatever it is to stop her screaming. We often send her to her room to calm down during one of these temper tantrums. She also does not seem to have much compassion for others. I was laying on thecouch wth a headache and my son brought me a stuffed toy to "help you feelling better" and gave me a hug. When I asked my daughter for a cuddle she said no.
AS we were putting her to bed early last night for yet another temper tantrum.. I thought we are not teaching her anything by sending her to her room. She just does not seem to be naturally catching on to the basic rules of social interaction. That you have to share and try to get along with others. I have tried to find books at the library with some lessons about morals, and sharing but I was wondering if anyone had any books or other ideas on how to help this girl.. My husband and I kind of chuckle and say her poor husband but really she is going to struggle in this world if she cant learn how to get along with others and roll with some of lifes disapppointments..
One of my favorite books is "God in between" by Sandy Sasso. It is not really religious (in spite of the title) but is a beautiful story about how we need to help each other and what the benefits are. If she needs help being calm, you might try meditation for her - like "Moody Cow Meditates" by Kerry MacLean. Good luck.
I believe the book I used was, "Social skills picture book : teaching communication, play and emotion," by Jed Baker. (It's been a while.) I found it through my library. My daughter was having problems catching on and it seems like she has slowly been progressing as she has gotten older. She's now a first grader.
I had her tested and the only thing they came up with was a slight speech delay. She had massive temper tantrums too with a couple lasting all day. It seems like one of the things that helped her the best was watching her more empathetic younger sister interact with me. She then started modeling that behavior after a while. Good luck and feel free to message me if you need a chat.
Play games with her.....Candyland, preschool uno, - they have tons of games for that age. She'll learn to play with others, she'll learn to be a gracious winner and loser, she'll learn to take turns and maybe if you used teams, she'd learn to work together. We love board games!!!!!
I don't want to scare you, but you may want to consider contacting the Early Intervention team in your school distract and request a free evaluation. She may be showing signs of some sensory issues or autism. Lack of social interaction and empathy can be a red flag. I would also advise you to check into a few sensory disorder or autism websites to see if she fits any of the criteria.
Here is a good website for sensory processing disorder:
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...
And here is one for autism:
http://autism.about.com/od/whatisautism/a/symptoms.htm
After carefully reading your post, I wondered immediately if your daughter is on the Autism spectrum. Most kids on the spectrum have some sort of difficulty with the social aspect of your lives. I think you should have her evaluated and then go from there. (I have worked with children with Autism and those that are on the mild end of the spectrum)
If she were under age 3 I would suggest you call Early On and have her evaluated. There are emotional disorders that sound a lot like the behavior your daughter is exhibiting. The next step up would be your county's special education services. My daughter has severe social anxiety with language delay and attends the preschool through this program (she is also 4) called the Early Childhood Program. We have had great success. Your preschool teacher should know who to call or who to ask to have her evaluated (which is free). The earlier the better! Good luck to you and your family.
