K.H. asks from Spring Hill, KS on October 19, 2008
Biting, Throwing and Hitting
Ok, I'm sure this has been posted on here numerous times before but I couldn't seem to find it anywhere. My 2 1/2 year old son has turned very mean lately. He started biting his sisters, throwing objects when he's angry and hitting when he doesn't get his way. My method of discipline (and I'm being as consistent as I can) is to take him to his room, explain why he's there, and make him stay there for 2 minutes. He then apologizes to me and the "injured" party. I'm thinking this time out thing just isn't working for him though. It just doesn't seem to phase him at all. What's next? Being the mom of 3 I feel like I should have lot's of tricks up my sleeve but honestly the two older sisters were not as mischevious as this little guy. They were pretty easy to discipline and it didn't take long for them to understand when mom meant business. I'm hoping he's not going to be a mean kid but sometimes he tells me he's mean. I don't know where he gets it. He's in a church / school day care one day a week and with me the rest. Heck, the other day at the park I look up to see him push and then pinch a kid that was at least 4 years older than him - unprovoked!!!
Ok, enough of the story telling. I love him to death but would like to go to bed at least one night a week not feeling like I've been waging battle all day!
Thanks in advance to you awesome moms who always have great responses!!
T.H. answers from Kansas City on October 20, 2008
Sounds tough! I don't blame you for feeling downtrodden every night! I would suggest reading the Love and Logic books by Jim Faye and Foster Cline. I think they are amazing! Good luck.
J.A. answers from Kansas City on October 22, 2008
I would suggest taking him out of day care... yesterday! - religious or not. And in my opinion, a swat on the tush for bitting his sister is warranted. And remember, little boys are much different than little girls. I would make sure he has lots of opportunity to run around and burn that energy! I have twin boys and I'm just amazed at how different they are than little girls I know. Run him out!
A.B. answers from Kansas City on October 20, 2008
I also suggest looking into the Love and Logic stuff.
C.B. answers from Kansas City on October 20, 2008
so sorry for what you're going through - my mom and i just discussed this weekend how "high maintenance" my two year old is - i feel like i am CONSTANTLY on him, too. some kids just need a lot more guidance than others. i wanted to tell you what a great job it sounds like you're doing, i like your method. i hope you tell him when he says he's mean that he's not mean, he just does mean things sometimes! poor kid. obviously he feels bad about it, he just can't control himself. with mine, i can tell if my method of discipline is working - when i put him in timeout, he makes it VERY clear that it's "getting to him". i think that's the key - speak HIS language. if he doesn't care about sitting in his room for two minutes, maybe find a better spot - somewhere that he can view the activity, his sisters playing or whatever, but can't be in the middle of it. maybe he'd feel it more. i put my son in the corner of the livingroom. he can see his toys, and almost see the tv, but he can't partake. he hates it. maybe that would help. also, you didn't mention your response when he acted out at the park. timeouts should happen no matter where you are, otherwise they lose some effectiveness. maybe you did it, but i would have sat him down near or on the bench and made him do his timeout while watching the other kids playing. i wish there was an easy answer but it sounds like you're on the right track. just stay consistent and firm. he'll get it! it's usually the ornerier ones that are too smart for their own good. if you guide him consistently it'll pay off in the long run and he'll be a successful adult. try to be grateful for his um....energy! one thing i've learned with my son is that he may be very "high maintenance", but it's never boring! there's a rhyme i tell myself to keep my cool, it makes me smile - "when he was good he was very, very good, and when he was bad he was horrid!" it's part of an old nursery rhyme. anyway...GOOD LUCK. hope it gets better.