D.C. asks from Belvidere Center, VT on October 06, 2009
Biting at Daycare - Belvidere Center,VT
I'm looking for some feedback....My daughter has been attending the same daycare center since she was 9 weeks old. A few months ago a new child joined the group of toddlers. Well, this child has a biting and pinching issue! My child has been bit 3 times in the past 3 months. The second bite my daughter was sleeping and this kid bit her on the back and broke the skin! Every incident was unprovoked! I have witnessed this child pinch(unprovoked) my child and other children. The toddler group can have up to 8 kids with 2 adults. They moved the group into a larger space, but the behavoir has not stopped. Their next step is(the director) observing the child and looking for patterns of behavoir. I'm very upset about this entire situation and I feel if they are taking on a child with serious behavoir issues they should have the staff to support the child. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice?
1 mom found this helpful
So What Happened?™
Thank you for your responses. I have to say, I'm disapointed with some of them. I feel that some are saying it is no big deal. It is a big deal and no child should be left at a place where they are not protected. This incident goes beyond normal biting seen in toddlers.
Since writing my story, the director of the daycare has been in the toddler room with the biter. She is looking for patters and has come to the conclusion that the biting is done for attention. I think I could have figured that one out! I told her if there is a fourth bite, she will be taken out. I will be pretty upset if she will let a child who has attended since she was 9 weeks old go, and keep a child who started 3 months ago and has been biting and pinching all of the kids. IS she trying to be a hero???
J.M. answers from Boston on October 06, 2009
Of course it's upsetting, because your daughter is getting hurt. If you want to pull her out it would totally be reasonable. However, you should know that biting is an extremely common toddler behavior, and you will likely run into the same problem whereever you go. It seems that the center that you use now has a plan of action, and my inclination would be to see how that works out. (Just FYI, when my daughter was a toddler, she was bitten 8 times in 3 months, so I know how upsetting this can be). We've otherwise been really happy with our center and didn't think things would be better elsewhere, and it ended up working out. Good luck with your decision.
X.C. answers from Boston on October 07, 2009
I've got a 2 year old and a 3 year old and both are in daycare so I've recently lived through this period. Three times in three months is really not bad at all. I know its upsetting, but its a stage they go through. Its becuase they can't talk well yet and can't properly express what they want or what they feel. So biting, hitting, pinching... I know as a parent you want to protect your child, but I think you will find this in all daycares unless you go to a family one in someone's home and they dont have any other toddlers in the group. One thing I would suggest though is looking into why another child was able to go over to your child when she was sleeping - shouldnt that child have been laying down too? I promise they will grow out of the stage - 20 months sounds right about when I remember it...
How did the staff handle the bite? Did they call you to tell you about it? Did they apply antiseptic to the broken skin? You can't change the toddler's behavior, but you can work on the staff's if you feel they didnt do something right.
Good luck with your decision. I know its hard.
S.D. answers from Boston on October 06, 2009
I would take her out. The staff should be much more concerned about this problem.
J.L. answers from Hartford on October 09, 2009
I feel you should be concerned!
I like to know since when has biting become socially acceptable?
I've heard all the reasons why a biter is a biter. I think most of us understand that Tots have a hard time expressing their language and emotions as clearly as adults but the bottom line here is... Biting is a nasty habit.
The human bite CAN carry risks especially if a biter breaks the skin of another. Biting can cause infections and the transmission of diseases.
I must say I'm a bit shocked that your child's daycare has not taken the matter more seriously for biting is a liability.
Biters should always be removed from a biting event that they have caused. By not removing a child from an event that has caused another child pain or discomfort is teaching that child that it is simply okay to hurt another person!
In my opinion there is no excuses warranted enough to subject a child to another child's aggressive behavior.
If I were you I would re-examine your child's daycare policies and review why this daycare would be beneficial to your child.