15 answers

Birthday Party Sleepover - at a Hotel

I find it odd that I'm wondering this, since I've had the idea myself to do this for my daughter, but I would only invite her close friends whose parents I also know.

I had lunch with my daughter at school (love!!) and one of her friends mentioned her birthday is today, plus the party is next Friday (spring break) at a local Marriott hotel - bring a bathing suit! I thought it was a great idea. Then she mentioned it's also a sleepover at the hotel.

The hotel is close to my home and my daughter can swim, so I'm not worried about that....but I'm worried about someone I don't know being responsible for my kid in a hotel. I don't let my kids go get ice by themselves, go to the soda/snack machine alone, go to any activity room alone, etc. I guess I'm semi-helicopter...but in hotels there are so many people from all over and I don't trust strangers around my kiddo's.

My daughter will be 9 in June, and I am assuming this young lady is turning 9 as well.

I want to find out the rooming accomocations first...will it be a suit with several bedrooms? Adjoining rooms? Adult in each room? I think once I know more I can make a more informed decision...but I'm still not sure, since I don't know them.

So not knowing her parents, would you let your daughter/son spend the night in a hotel with them?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

No, I wouldn't. I would call the mom and find out specifics. Besides the logistics I would ask about the rules she's going to enforce. You need to know how many kids, their ages, and how many adults and how involved they'll be.

As I write, I'm thinking that if I didn't know the parents already I'd pick up my daughter after the party and swimming but before bed time. I think 9 is too young to be out in an uncontrolled environment over night.

I would also be cautious because the mom hasn't contacted me to ask permission and to explain what would happen.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

These kinds of parties have gotten very popular around here, and I can see why: the sleepover mess stays at the hotel, and compared to some other party places it's relatively cheap!
The ones my girls have gone to have ALL been like this: there are two separate but adjoining rooms, one for the girls and one for the parents. The girls are not allowed to wander around on their own, they stay together as a group. If the party leaves to go down to the pool the parents go with them and stay with them. They spend the night eating, laughing, watching DVDs and doing other fun girly stuff, all in the room.
Check with the girl's mom to get the details. As long as the girls will be constantly supervised I see no problem with it. Your gut will tell you if something doesn't sound right.
My kids are very well traveled and were taught hotel safety from a very young age, most specifically, NEVER LEAVE THE ROOM WITHOUT AN ADULT. If your daughter is mature and has been taught the same thing then I'm sure she'll be fine and have a blast :)

3 moms found this helpful

I've thrown this party before. I only invited as many girls as would fit in a suite with two queen beds and I slept on pullout couch. Noone left the room without me. I didn't leave them in the room alone. And not a single parent had any reservations about thier kids staying there with us. It was a loooong night for me, but we all had a blast.

3 moms found this helpful

At the age of 9? If I didn't know the parents? Then no. She could go to the party but not spend the night. Could you meet the parents first and find out the sleeping arrangements? If so I would consider it based on my first impression of the parents.

3 moms found this helpful

No, I wouldn't. I would call the mom and find out specifics. Besides the logistics I would ask about the rules she's going to enforce. You need to know how many kids, their ages, and how many adults and how involved they'll be.

As I write, I'm thinking that if I didn't know the parents already I'd pick up my daughter after the party and swimming but before bed time. I think 9 is too young to be out in an uncontrolled environment over night.

I would also be cautious because the mom hasn't contacted me to ask permission and to explain what would happen.

3 moms found this helpful

Hmmm, we know all the parents of our daughter's friends so this wouldn't be an issue for me.

In your case, I would simply ask the mom questions regarding your concerns and go from there depending on how you feel about her answers.

We did the hotel birthday party at 12 with a few close friends (6 girls total) We had a limo pick everyone up, drive around town and then to the hotel. The hotel is in a upscale area with lots of restaurants, etc.

I booked a suite. The girls slept in the bedroom and I stayed on the pullout in the suite area. Yes, I was up most of the night as the girls were giggly and having fun. They went swimming, then got fixed up and we walked to a nice restaurant for dinner (hubby came along on dinner) then walked back to the hotel and went swimming again, then watched movies and had late night room service. The girls were scheduled to be picked up by 10am the following morning. About 9am hubby brought in donuts, juice, milk, etc for them.

I am the one who stayed with them 24/7. I didn't let them run the hallways or get ice because I knew some moms were not as lenient as I am .. At that age, we did allow daughter to go get ice and gave her plenty of space within reason. Each family is different so I erred on being on the more strict side vs more lenient side. My daughter understood my reasoning.

Everyone had a great time. Go with your gut on how you feel about the parents of this child. I know it is hard letting go, I am still struggling with that one with my daughter wanting to go to college a plane ticket away and in Italy! I just trust that I have taught her well.

3 moms found this helpful

I would definitely suggest meeting her parents first. If you get a good, responsible vibe from them, try to relax and let her go. She will have a blast and feel SO honored that you're letting her do something so grown-up. Especially if you've been a 'helicopter' her whole life, now is a great time to (conditionally) start to let her grow up a bit. My parents were ABSOLUTELY EXTREMELY overprotective and I wasn't allowed to have a sleepover ANYWHERE (read: not even at my cousin's house...) until I was 13 years old. THIRTEEN!!! Please, I know the world is a terrible place, and there are ALWAYS dangers, but let your daughter live. She will always remember this experience- even when she's 15, 23, and so on. If she doesn't get to go, however, that will hurt so bad, just because of you being 'over protective'. If you get a negative, irresponsible vibe from the parents, though, obviously there is nothing wrong with going with your gut on this one. Simply ask them what the guidlines will be, how many adults per room, what will the rules be pertaining to leaving the room, etc. Make sure you feel comfortable before letting it happen, but try to have an open mind about it in order to honestly feel comfortable. I am a very cautious parent as well, and I always imagine the 100 things that could happen to my son at all times but I'm learning that that does more harm than good. I don't want to raise a paranoid neat freak with ocd (like myself... cough). I want him to be happy and healthy. So my advice for you - meet the parents, let her go, she'll have a BLAST and appreciate you more because of it. :) Definitely post a follow up with what happened!

2 moms found this helpful

My sister did this same thing when I used to work at Marriot and got them a 2 bedroom suite. But she did not know about it (thought they were visiting me at work) and my parents planned and coordinated everything with the parents beforehand. Also, the girls were a bit older - maybe 11/12ish.

I would def talk to the parents and get an understanding of the sleeping situations, the 'roaming the hotel' or being unsupervised possiblities. More than likely they will all be together all of the time. But better to ask!

2 moms found this helpful

I think you are right to be so vigilant.
Esp being that this party is being held in a public place.
I say follow your gut & let her go t othe party but pick her up at 9 or 10pm.

2 moms found this helpful

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