Just looking for advice. My son will be turning 6 in a month and we are going to have a birthday party for him at Fun and Stuff. There are nine boys total in his class. Seven out of the nine boys he wants to invite and two of them he doesn't really like and doesn't want to invite them. The two boys he doesn't want to invite sent my son an invitation to their party. My son went to one of the parties because it was at the beginning of the school year and he didn't really know this boy that much.
So......I told my son that he should be nice and invite the two boys that he doesn't like because they are still boys that have feelings and we need to be nice to everyone. I asked my son if the tables were turned would his feelings be hurt and his answer was of course no. On the other hand, I am thinking that if he really doesn't care for them then why should I force this? It is his party. What would you do?
I wouldn't force him to invite them. There's a reason, a good reason to him, why he wouldn't want them there. It's his party and you want him to be happy. *edit*added*: (my personal belief and everyone has their own) I don't believe in raising kids "fair" but in raising them "realistic". Life isn't fair!
As the mother of a child who is often excluded from birthday parties let me put in my 2 cents. My son has Aspergers so making friends is difficult. He is in 2nd grade and to date has been invited to 2 parties this year and is planning his own party in a few weeks. I cannot tell you how much time I have spent worrying that no one will show up to his party!
I would talk to your son about why he doesn't like these 2 boys. If there are legitimate reasons, they are bullies, they push him on the playground, etc. then I would consider not inviting them. If it's just a case where he says, they don't play with us, or they're kind of weird, or something like that I would talk to your son about everyone being different and having their own way of doing things and that perhaps he should give them another chance.
Good luck,
K.
I would invite the two boys. If they aren't invited, they will still hear about the party after the fact and will have hurt feelings. If the boys in turn don't like your son, they won't show up, but at least they'll have known about it and felt included.
Everyone likes to feel included.
M.
It's his party, but you're hosting it and paying for it so you get to decide. I think it would be very rude to exclude two boys because they will find out about it and their feelings will be hurt. With me it's always been all or none when inviting school kids.
Most teachers / schools have the policy that if invitations are being handed out at school they have to include either 1 the whole class or 2 all boys or all girls. it is horrible to think how those 2 little boys will feel when they find out all others in the class were invited except them. If you don't want to invite all the boys then don't hand the invites out at school. have him get the phone numbers for the kids he wants to invite and do it outside of school.
No question, invite the two boys. It's considered a HUGE faux paux if you are inviting almost all from the class and then leave out just two. The other poster is right about school policies possibly prohibiting it too. And trust me, we've been to enough parties at Fun N Stuff that if he doesn't want to stick around those two kids, it'll be so crazy he won't even notice they are there anyway! :) Plus at that age at Fun N Stuff, the parents usually hang around, so they'll be there to keep them in line if they are trouble makers.
This is a a great teachable moment for your son, on good manners and being friendly even to those you aren't exactly friends with.
Do not leave the two boys out. They will hear about it and be hurt. Also 6 is a very young age and they are all still learning how to socialize with each other. It's also is an opportunity to see how all the boys are interacting with each other. Kids start making their cliques at younger ages and making other kids feel left out. We need to recognise this even at this age. These kids may be socially immature because of asperger's or even learning disabilities. We need to teach our kids compassion at a young age.
Well at my sons school he's in the 1st grade but you can't hand out invites at school. So those two boys probably won't even know that they weren't invited but my son is inviting all the boys from his class. So really it's up to your son maybe he has a good reason he doesn't want them there are they mean do they pick on him. I wouldn't invite them.
Please don't leave out those 2 boys. Think of their feelings. Is it worth it, really??? Turn the tables for a minute....think about how you would console your son who was the only one not invited to a classmates party. What would you say. Now think about those other parents.
Tell your son that sometimes in life you have to do the right thing and it may not always be what you want to do.
I would invite the two boys if for no other reason that it might make things more difficult for your son if they find out that they were the only ones not invited. Are you having an adult friend or relative help with the party? Maybe you could assign him/her the task of keeping an eye on these two boys and stepping in to distract them with another activity if there seems to be a problem. Also - I was kind of a sensitive kid and sometimes thought that other kids were being mean to me only to realize later that it was a misunderstanding. Is it possible that is the situation with your son?
