Birthday Party Ettiquette

Guests love to see the delight on your face when opening their gift.Get a big garbage bag for the wrapping paper and another for the gifts.Wouldn't you rather be a little inconvenienced than ignore the effort and money your guests put into the gifts?

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We had the same delima. We opened after everyone left which was good because it took him about 2 hours to open them because he wanted to play with each one as he went. We had aout 10 familys over) It gave us time to write thank yous (we added pictures too)as he went. That said we offered if someone really wanted to see him open their gift we would have him open it before they left and two families took us up on the offer. It was not a huge gather everyone around and sit thing just them giving him the gift and letting him open it with whoever happend to be there.

Hope this helps.

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The parties my 7YO's have gone to are split on this, some open during party and others after. When the party is somewhere other than the family's house, it seems more common for it to be "after" because of time limitations.

If you decide to open the gifts at home (which would be perfectly understandable, esp. for a 2YO who might get overtired and irritable with a long day of excitement), you could take photos of your son opening each gift and send each giver the appropriate photo with the thank you note.

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I would say that he should open them in front of the guests. People are going to want to see his expression when he opens their gift. They will want to share in his excitement. I would say it's inappropriate to do them at home.

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Either way is fine. Base your decision on the size of the group, how active the kids and how your child is behaving. If the kids or your son would rather play or group is to big, then take them home. If it is a small group and your son is able to sit still long enough to open them, then open them. I personally think it is way to much to expect a 2 yr old to open each gift and personally thank the giver. They would much rather play with their friends. Decide what is less stressful for you and your son and go with it. If other parents or family members insist on seeing the gift open, invite them back to your house after the party. At 2 yrs old, it should be fun and not a set-up to get yelled at or have your Mommy frustrated. Good luck.

Waiting until after seems to be the norm. It's too overwhelming for the birthday boy or girl and too hard for the other little ones to sit through. Plus, you avoid squabbles over new toys that way.

I actually prefer when people open the presents in private after the party. My daughter is one of those who is very concerned about bying the perfect gift for her friends and often gets her feelings hurt if she doesn't get the reaction she was hoping for when presents are opened. I always end up holding my breath until the presents are over.

It's really your call. There are no rules. I think most people are divided -- either love to see gifts opened or hate it. We usually open the gifts at home due to time (we're often at indoor locations and opening gifts would make the event run too long). My preference when attending parties is not to have gifts opened at the event, because it often makes the parties run late (especially with young kids opening gifts). I also have to deal with my youngest trying to play with or claim the opened gifts, so it's not relaxing.

I'm not sure about doing this with a birhtday party but I have gone to several showers where we were asked not to wrap gifts because they would be displayed on a gift table rather than opened at the party.

I have found that it is best to open gifts at home with children this age. Two year olds have a hard time with boundaries, and it may be hard for the gift giver to part with his gift, while the receiver may not want to share his gifts.
I don't think it's rude to wait, and I have seen plenty of other people do the same.
Good Luck!

Opening gifts usuallyhe last thing done, after ice cream and cake. And yes, open the gifts at the park in front of the guests. people like to watch!

There will likely be gifts your 2yr old has little or no interest in and that's too young for them to be polite and gracious. Other young guests will be confused as to why they cannot help open the presents and will lose patience having to just watch instead of playing and "sharing" the enjoyment of the toys. Stretching the timeframe of your party beyond the guests energy levels and attention spans will make everyone uncomfortable. I attended a party where the very young birthday boy fell asleep mid-party... imagine if they had woken him up to open gifts! If your gathering is very small - like 5 gifts total - it might be another story... but I doubt you'd be reserving a park for only five guests.

My daughter is almost 4 years old and we've been to LOTS of birthday parties in the last 4 years. And I mean A LOT!!! Only one opened presents at the party and it was a giant pain. I definitely suggest waiting till later.

Hello There,

I believe the gifts should be opened at the party. Alot of times the guest enjoy seeing their gifts opened, especially after they have taken time out to pick something special or they might have even used their own money. (probably not at this age but my son is now six and uses his own money now)
Two is a great age there is bound to be drama....enjoy it.

Good luck with your decision and Happy Birthday to your son!

A.,
while I agree that convience wise it would be easier to open the gifts at home... i know the people that attend your party; especially aunties, uncles and grands, will want to see your sons reaction when he opens his gifts from them. At that age, he's just learning about gift receiving, and opening the gifts in front of the people who gave it him and saying thank you is very important. Have fun at the party and happy birthday to your little guy.

Hi
I 've seen both.. with 2 year olds, I don't think they have any real interest in seeing what another 2 yr old recd as a gift and would prefer to play.... play it by ear, but when I go to a play if it's really big, I prefer to NOT sit there while the person opens all their gifts. If it's a small quaint party, then sure, why not..

Dear A.,
Although I know it can be a pain in the rump and 2 year olds don't have the longest attention spans, I think you should definitely open the gifts at the party. You don't have to take things completely out of the packages if they are toys, etc, but surely take the wrapping off and acknowledge the gift and the giver.
We had many away from home parties and we always took a box with us to put the gifts in for the ride back to the house. Cards were opened and read too, as some people gave money and gift certificates.
Maybe times have changed, but it seems awkward to me to invite people to a party and hope they bring gifts that you will acknowledge at a later date. Thank You cards are always proper, but you might as well ask people to mail the presents instead of bring them if you aren't going to open them at the party.
I never would have considered not opening presents at my kids' parties.
I'm sure you'll find the right solution.

Have fun, that's the main thing!

I have seen it both ways, but personally I think it is easier with kids of this age to open the presents at home later. Then the kids can have more play time at the park while you're not opening presents! =)

I definitely think you have to open the gifts at the party. People like to see their gift opened. I have never been to a party that the kid hasn't opened the gifts. With a 2 year old the parents can help a lot to make the gift opening go faster. Also, other kids at the party love watching kids open the gifts.

I would go with opening them at home. Most two year olds have difficulty watching other kids open gifts. Plus it can take a long time for the birthday child to open even a small number of gifts. I once received a great thank you card - it was a picture of the birthday girl opening the gift we had given her. The mom used a blank self adhesive mailing label and then wrote the thank you on it and stuck it on the back of the photo. We still have the card/photo up on our fridge. Wish I had thought of that - in the past I have just sent good old fashioned thank you notes - obviously important so that the gift giver know that you received their gift. I agree with other people though - occasionally you get someone who really wants to see you open the gift and then I would try to discretely open the gift in front of them. I saw this backfire at one party though - then everyone gathered around and the regular gift opening commenced and the two year olds were all fighting over the toys! Best of luck and hope your party goes well!!

In front of the guest!!! And then have your child say "thank you" to each person.

The little kids love to crowd around and see what the presents are. It's so cute.

Just saw Abbie's response below: Maybe this is the new norm -- I've never heard of it -- but it sure seems like it would take a lot of the fun out of it. If it's the new norm, then people need to return to the old norm, and have FUN! If there are squabbles over presents, the presents can be removed, or the mother of the child trying to take someone else's present can tell her child, "no." Also, at least by the age of 3, kids love to watch their friend open the present that they brought for them.

And p.s. - The truth is - you get to have your child's party ANY WAY YOU WANT.

For kid parties, most of the young guests are very excited to see their present being opened. : ) Have fun. C.

Hi A.,

I would wait and see how the day goes. At 2 yrs old, it really depends on the birthday boy. You can't expect him to sit there too long and just open presents. He will probably want to play with a toy that he just opened and not move on to the next gift, or wander off and continue to play at the park. I have 2 boys and we've had several parties at parks. At the last party, my son (the birthday boy) fell asleep, but we had a couple of guests that wanted us to open the gifts there, so my husband and I did the opening. But at my oldest son's birthday party, we took the gifts home and opened them there. He was too tired and grouchy, plus the other kids (also 2 yr olds) were getting tired too. We just made sure to send thank you cards with pics of him with his new gifts. Most guests at the birthday party will understand if you want to take the gifts home to open. I don't think anyone would think it's rude...especially if they have little ones too. Whatever you decide to do, just enjoy the party.

Good luck and God bless.

N.

I have been thinking about this too--my son turns 2 in a month. When I was a kid, it was normal to open the gifts in front of every one. But I think that has changed, maybe due to gift registries (many presents are not even at parties, regardless of whether or not the givers are present).

I heard that in some South Asian country it is considered very rude to open gifts in front of the giver because the appropriate expression of gratitude might be difficult if you don't like the gift. Since 2 yr olds have trouble with being polite....

But also, I feel like opening presents in front of the other children is difficult. At 2 yrs, the other children know what fun it is to open a present, but the idea of "that gift belongs to some one else," is a little harder. Maybe it is a good learning experience, but I'm not sure it is worth it at this age. Besides, I wouldn't want to make our guests uncomfortable if they don't bring a gift (or only a token due to $$ problems) especially because I will be inviting people of different income levels to the party.

At that age, they are so young and don't have a huge interest in sitting through the opening part. I don't think it's a big deal to do it at home later. As the kids get older though, they are very excited about the gift they brought and look forward to when the birthday boy/girl comes to their gift and they get to see first-hand the excitement over the gift.

Then again, I've been to parties where the presents are brought home. It hasn't been a huge deal. My girls get a little bummed about not being able to see everything up close, but it's not the end of the world.

Wow! Talk about a 50/50 reaction here!

I'm with the open later group. When your son is 3 I think the kids will get more of a kick out of opening all the presents with friends and family but for now it sounds like a recipe for possible disaster. For starters what if they don't give the special train set Grandpa gave them a second glance. It's likely to make Grandpa a little sad. Better to write a card expressing how much fun you'll know he'll have with it and how he already runs around the house shouting CHOO CHOOO!!!!!

I have an additional thought about opening gifts in front of others that may not have been mentioned. Given the economic situation many people may feel their gift is paltry compared to what they would have normally given. While YOU may think it's ridiculous for them to feel this way, the feeling is still there for them.

Good luck in whatever you decide and Happy Birthday to your little dude.

T.

Some children will have helped choose the gift for your son and will be VERY excited to see him open it. I advise that you have him open the gifts at the park in front of the kids and load them into your vehicle immediately afterward so nothing gets opened or broken. Maybe near the end of the party depending on what else you have planned or one at a time as each guest is preparing to leave to avoid any issues.

For children that young, if you decide to open gifts with all the kids gathered around, you may consider giving them each their own small wrapped "gift", such as a Hot Wheels car or some small inexpensive item instead of a goody bag so that they all have something to open. Give your son one too. Then they will all have a little toy to play with at the park. Keep a few extras on hand to avoid tears in case someone loses theirs. This will cut down on all the kids mobbing your son and trying to "help" open the packages. It is a small price to pay for your son's happiness and the parents' sanity. Have fun!!