16 answers

Birthday Party Dilemma - Los Angeles,CA

Hi moms. I have a dilemma. My son just started kindergarten 2 weeks ago. On Thursday I sent home a birthday party invitation with each kid in my son’s class. A few of the kids did not have their back packs there so the teacher said she would give the invitations to the parents at the end of the day. I’m not sure if she remembered to do it as I had to leave early with my son that day.

Today I got an email from one of the parents whom the teacher was supposed to give the invitations to. She wanted everyone to save the date for her twins birthday party scheduled on the same day as my son’s. Our party is 10-12, theirs is from 2-4. I’m a little upset by this and don’t know what to do. I don’t know if she just didn’t get the invitations and just happened to do her party on the same day. Or she got it, but decided to do it on that day anyway? Should I say something or let it go?

I’m concerned that people may not want to spend their entire Sunday going from party to party and the majority may choose to go to one or another, and esp since she has a boy and a girl, most may want to go to their party! Also, my son is kind of shy, and definitely not the most popular or outgoing kid in the class or have a ton of friends, and I don’t want him to feel rejected if more people end up going to the other party and not many show up to ours.

So what would you do if you were in my position? And what would you do if your kid was invited to 2 parties in the same day? TIA.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you ladies for your input. I feel much better knowing that most people don't mind doing multiple parties in one day. That was my biggest concern that most people might choose to go to one or another and that two parties would be too much in one day. With that I'm okay with us having our parties on the same day.
The school just started two weeks ago, so we all just met. She seems like a very lovely woman. She also has an older kid so I'm sure she has experienced this stuff before and probably didn't think it was a big deal to have two parties in one day, or just didn't get my invite yet. Either way, we're all good. Thanks for your time and advice. =)

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My daugter had 3 parties one day when she was in pre-k. We took her to the first one, then hubby dropped me at home and he took her to the second one so I could get some cookies baked, and then we took her to the third. They were actually all in the same class and most made it to all three. They were a very tight-knit pre-k class and it was great! We did have to leave early from one and get to the other a few minutes late.

My guess is that this mom had that day planned to be the day of the party because that is what works for her and/or her family. She maybe even changed the time to accommodate kids attending both parties.

The only thing I would say is to reply "Johnny would love to come to the twins' party. He will love seeing his class friends twice in the same day. BTW...did they recieve thier invitation to Johnny's party? Hope they can make it."

4 moms found this helpful

I get that it sucks, but calling this mom up is only going to make you look bad.

Let it go, this may be the only time they can do it.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Call her! Suggest a combo party!
At that age the kids all just want to get together & play!

5 moms found this helpful

Since the party isn't overlapped, it may be that she did get the invite and planned her party to not conflict with yours.

Has she RSVP'd to your party? Call her to RSVP to hers either yes or no, and mention your party.

5 moms found this helpful

okay, I had to walk away from the computer & really think about how I wanted to phrase this..... (shaking my head here)....

(sigh) I think it's wonderful you wanted to give your child a "whole class" party. A wonderful, kind, & generous thought on your part.

BUT your child is not the only child in the class.....& it really doesn't matter if the other mother received the invitation or not. What matters is that you are doing what you want for your child.....& she is doing what she wants for hers. You are both entitled to use the day & time, even if they're in conflict.

Perhaps this sounds harsh to you, but part of functioning within a loosely-joined group is being able to accept their rights....& not fall into the emotional trap of assuming "everybody" will be there for you. Relying on close friends & family is a better bet!

As you continue on your child's school journey, you will see that classes splinter into small groups.... remaining like this until H.S. & sometimes beyond. The important key here is for your child to create & maintain close friendships with a few, & be a nice friend to all. :)

& one more thought: I seriously believe you have zero rights over the issue. Please do not assume you can confront this other mother for using her freedom to provide for her own children. And, I have to tell you, Sunday 10-12 is "church time" for many families! Not an option for my family! Sorry.....

4 moms found this helpful

My daugter had 3 parties one day when she was in pre-k. We took her to the first one, then hubby dropped me at home and he took her to the second one so I could get some cookies baked, and then we took her to the third. They were actually all in the same class and most made it to all three. They were a very tight-knit pre-k class and it was great! We did have to leave early from one and get to the other a few minutes late.

My guess is that this mom had that day planned to be the day of the party because that is what works for her and/or her family. She maybe even changed the time to accommodate kids attending both parties.

The only thing I would say is to reply "Johnny would love to come to the twins' party. He will love seeing his class friends twice in the same day. BTW...did they recieve thier invitation to Johnny's party? Hope they can make it."

4 moms found this helpful

I would guess she scheduled the party from 2-4 so it would not interfere with your party. I would be delighted if my boys were invited to two birthday parties in one day, and so would my boys. I am not a fan, however, of inviting the whole class to the party. We only invite our kids friends to their parties, and usually if my boys are invited to a party for a child who is not their friend we decline the invite.

ETA: I didn't see what day of the week the party was on in your post, but as some others have mentioned if it were a Sunday the 10am party would not be possible because of Sunday school.

3 moms found this helpful

Heck yeah, I'd go to both. There's enough time to go home, grab lunch, and head back out :)

3 moms found this helpful

You are assuming that because you got your invitations out first, your party was planned first. She could have had her party planned just as long as you. I would not say anything to her. I also agree that the time you chose on a Sunday, is not the best with church. Finally, you will be lucky to get even a few rsvp no matter what time you choose. It seems to me that people just dont rsvp anymore, especially at that age. I do wish you luck, but I would plan on family and close family friends, and anyone else is just a bonus.

3 moms found this helpful

I am fine doing multiple parties on a Sunday! My kiddo will go right to bed after all that fun, giving me plenty of time to get things in order for Monday morning :)
Plus, I just love kid parties. I love taking my kids, getting to meet the parents, being able to watch my son having a ball with his friends and classmates. I love throwing them for all the same reasons, plus I get to be a control freak about it and do everything exactly how I want it....mwah hahahaha!!!!!
I would contact the other mom and thank her (sincerely) for scheduling her kids' party so it would not conflict with yours, and let her know that you will do your best to make it to their party.

2 moms found this helpful

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