14 answers

Birthday Parties - Dallas,TX

ugh, i hate to even ask this, but two of my girlfriends are having birthday parties the first wknd of april. one of the girls is one of my BFF's & known her since 7th grade. the other girl...we're cool & i like her. parties are on 2 diff days.
the deal is...i'm BROKE. isn't that horrible to say?? i can't afford to go to the parties! i'm not gonna tell them i can't come b/c of money b/c we all know what they'll say "it's okay, come anyway", and i don't wanna seem like a mooch or something. and if i don't go, i'll be sad b/c my BFF's baby is the first baby of all our friends and she's just...our baby! turning 3 btw. :)
anyway, should i just go & hope they don't expect me to bring a gift or should i do the whole 'talk to 'em' thing? i REALLY don't want either of the girls to know how shitty my finances are. just kinda embarassing and since it's just in regards to a bday present, it's really not relevant, y'know? anyway, what would you do?? should i go & hope they don't notice i didn't bring anything - lol! btw, both parties are at those inflatable jumping places, so my 2 yr DS would have fun. :)
thanks :)

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

y'all are right...i know i should go, i just kinda felt bad. but y'all are so right, i wouldn't care AT ALL if they came to my boy's bday party & didn't bring anything and i know they wouldn't either. i should probly say something up front though, huh?...
thanks for the support on this one! :)

More Answers

Go anyway. Have fun. Make a homemade card and have your little guy scribble some stuff on it. Put a little note inside that says "Our gift to you is having little 'insert bday girl's name here' over for a fun all day playdate next Saturday. We'll play outside and have a picnic for lunch. Mom can stay at home and have a day to herself. If this day doesn't work for you let me know and we'll pick a different day. Happy Birthday!"

The only cost to you is your time and a little sandwich and drink for lunch and maybe a small snack.

If you think your friends would say come anyway - they really mean it and would rather have you there having fun instead of worrying about a present.
Don't deprive yourself and son of fun because you can't buy a present. Give the gift of time - FREE!

5 moms found this helpful

If these women are truly your friends, they shouldn't bat an eye at you not bringing a gift. Lots of people are struggling these days, I'm sure they're aware of that. Your presence should be plenty. Parties are all about company, not gifts, in my personal opinion. If you really want to go to the parties, I would just be honest. "Hey, I really want to join in on the celebration but feel terrible that my finances are in the red right now, so I won't be able to purchase a gift at the moment..." and leave it at that. Most decent people will say "Don't be silly! It's not about the gifts, it's about celebrating with those I love."

Just my two cents. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

They're your friends. I would be honest without going into all the details. If they are your friends, they know you well enough to know you aren't a mooch, and they really probably would rather have you there than not (with or without a gift). I hope you and ds go and have a great time!

2 moms found this helpful

Can you make a card, give a photo....something creative, that has meaning..that utilizes things you all ready have? Those are the best gifts anyway.

If the parties involve going out, then maybe join briefly, have a water, or if you can drop $2-$3, a cup of coffee. I used to do this a LOT when I had no $ to go out and my friends did. Since I paid my way, no one ever cared. Sometimes someone DID buy me a drink. I always just "paid that forward"...eventually....

ETA: D'Oh - I could have read this more carefully. The parties are for the kids, not your friends. You could still make something (or put together ingredients/materials for a project) and at 3, kids LOVE gifts from the Dollar Tree! It's not all junk...we've gotten some pretty good dinosaur toys, some awesome giant bubble wands, magic tricks (for my 6 yo), glow sticks....or just sit down and help DS make a card....

2 moms found this helpful

When we have a bday party to go to and no money to buy a gift I go to Dollar general. You could get something as simple as a coloring book and some crayons. You could even tell them your son picked it out for her! lol Once I went and spent $5 and got dress up shoes and one of those feather scarf things and some kid play jewelry. It ended up being the first thing my neice wanted to play with after opening presents!

1 mom found this helpful

If you can't tell your BFF your financial difficulties, then who can you tell? I would just let her know money is tight, but in lieu of a gift you would be willing to do something else, like having "Susie" over for a special play date, or baking the birthday cake.

My BFF was going thru some difficult financial times when my kids were little and I invited her and the kids to the party because I wanted them there. I even told her "just get my daughter a big bottle of bubbles or some sidewalk chalk from the dollar store". She knows I don't mind second hand items, so her gift was her kids outgrown little tykes backyard toys. My kids loved the toys. It's the thought that counts.

Honestly, you really can get a gift for less than $5.00. I'm not sure how tight your finances are, but playdoh for a 3 year old is perfect and you can definitely find some for less than $5.00. Plus, I NEVER give cards as I think they are a waste of money. You can just wrap the playdoh and put your name on the outside OR just put a ribbon on the playdoh and don't even wrap it.

I agree with another poster - go to the dollar store.

GOOD luck!
L.

Get something for them from the dollar store. Or targets dollar area. Could just be crayons/coloring book. Or even regift something like books. Just don't stay home for this reason-lfe is too short. Your friends would not be happy if they know. And you don't have to tell them either.

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