My dgtrs best friend's bday is coming up, the friends parents are divorced and she lives with Dad, very little interaction with her mother. I have taken on a small role as a surrogate mom, make her lunches, purchase feminine protection she was too embarrassed to talk to dad about, little things that are sometimes between mother and daughter. I wanted to give her a little gift for her birthday that will convey the "i'm always here for you, love you for who are" sentiment that I sincerely feel for her, but considering the cynical age of 14 and the very expensive gifts she receives from her family to compensate for emotional detachment...I'm worried that the gift won't mean anything to her.
I'm trying really hard not to make this about me, my feelings, etc. The child is what matters. If anyone has an inexpensive idea that would be appropriate, I would love to get your input. TIA
Thank you all for the wonderful advice! I incorporated several suggestions into the gift. She LOVES music and expresses herself through song writing, but it's mostly lyrics although she is taking guitar lessons and is interested in actually writing the music part...so, for her "journal" I bought her a couple of music writing books, she LOVED it! I told her she had to credit me when she becomes a super star. There were real tears in her eyes and she almost flew over the kitchen island to give me hug (knocking over some bowls..haha!)
I plan to incorporate some of the cooking together ideas in the natural time she spends with us, and then maybe hand her dad a grocery list! So many other great ideas I plan to keep in the vault for the many other occassions we'll celebrate through the years. Thanks again for you wisdom and thoughtfulness!
What about something from James Avery? Maybe a necklace with a heart charm. She will think of you when she wears it.. and it would remind her you're always there for her.
I think a silver bracelet with a heart and inscription would be special - you can get them at most dept stores or at the mall. They don't cost a lot but I think it would mean a great deal to her. I gave this gift to a special girl going thru a tough time once, recently i saw her and she told me she still has the bracelet and every time she wears it, she thinks of me. Good luck!
I have to agree with the diary. I would get her a very special one. They have some great one at Barnes and Noble. Maybe get her a cool pen to go with it. This would be something that she could use over and over. Good luck and you are a great person for caring so much about this little girl! She is very lucky to have you!
I have two boys so I do nembarasot know about girls but this worked with my oldest. For his birthday I bought a fancy but inexpensive Journal and a cool pen.I wrote on the first page and told him this was just ours no one else would ever see it. We wrote back and forth for a long time. We never talked about what we wrote in the book if something needed to be discussed we did it in the book. It left him free to ask questions and say things he would have been too afraid or too shy to ask me face to face. After we wrote we would leave it under each other's pillow. My husband was sort of jealous that he had not thought of it. It helped both of us through the teenage years. Because she does not live with you transfering the book back and forth will be more difficult. Just make sure it is kept secure and no one else has access or the trust will be lost.
Wow L., what a wonderful person you are :). I agree with Cynthia H. on this one, a girls day out is a perfect idea. Like you said, she gets enough 'expensive' gifts, but the best one would be 'your' time. Good luck with whatever you decide and I'm sure that it'll be great because it will have come from your heart :). God Bless, T.
What about a nice journal? And you write the first journal entry telling her how special she is to you.
I really like the idea of the coupons.
Another thing would be a girls day out, maybe to get mani's and pedi's with you and your daughter. You could go shopping at a mall after wards maybe even get a make over at the Mac counter(or another make up line)
Make up, CD's, DVD's, book 7 hapbits of hightly effect teens.
When I was 14, I would have loved a pretty diary. Maybe you could buy one of those bound books and put a little note to her in the front to get her started. That would be nice and more personal.
D. Kimbriel
Grandma to beautiful boys
I'm with Mama M on the Journal. I know she would love the scrapbook and stickers and all that go with that and have her come over with her pictures and you put it together with her. My sister has 3 teen girls and when they have free time this is all they want to do. Her boys like to do it to.
Thank You for being there for her. I have a friend that didn't have a Mom and she didn't have any woman to help her out. So you are the true Gift. Brightest Blessings
When I was about that age my Mom gave me a heart locket and I cherished it (still have it and I'm about to turn 40!). She let me choose the pictures I wanted to place in it (of course it was a boyfriend!) but I always looked at it and thought of how much she loved me, it was beautiful.
Just a thought - I think lockets are really back in style these days too! I'm sure she will cherish anything you give her because of the special relationship you have!
What about a pretty Scentsy Warmer and pleasant scent bar for her room? Our warmers are wickless so they are extremely safe for the home or office. To view all our warmers you may visit my website at www.Scentsy.com/DFW
Contact me if your interested in placing an order.
THanks,
C.
Scentsy Consultant
I think that something personalized would be good. Maybe a picture frame and Things Remembered does a great, and not too expensive engraving job.
A journal or bible.personlize it.
Even considering the cynical age of 14, there is no doubt that whatever you get her for her birthday will mean more to her than bigger, more expensive gifts from people who are buying them out of guilt. And you can be sure she knows the motives behind those gifts. Send her and your daughter for a mani/pedi at the mall, or to the movies or take the girls out to lunch at a favorite spot-those are fun things that girls love that create memories. The other is just "stuff." Oh, and be sure to keep the hugs coming-that's a gift year round, especially for someone who really needs them (but might not know how to ask).
Keep up the good work!
E.
I love the Willow Tree figures. They have one for just about everything and they give a little explaination. I don't know if it is something that she would like, but I know it would have meant a lot to me. Or maybe a Precious Moments figure. Something she could think of you everytime she sees it. James Avery has nice necklaces and such and you can usually find a good value for a good price.
Since you have daughter the same age maybe the 3 of you could go get manicures or pedicures my daughter loved to do that at 14.. Hope this helps.
a cross necklace or charm with an inscription on it placed on a bracelet.
How about an little understated necklace or bracelet. You could have something engraved on it if you wanted. I really think a note with the present expressing your genuine care for her would make the present special.
There is a woman that has been present in my life since I was about six years old. She is the wife of a third generation farmer so as you can imagine money was short but she made me apart of her family. She treated me just as she would any of her of three other daughters. She would take us camping, taught us to cook, let us do crafts, took us to church, but more than any other gift she taught me the meaning of love. The love between a mother and daughter. The love you should have for your soul mate and not to settle for anythig less than I deserve. Forever wil I owe this woman for this gift Know I hope to teach my daughter. If you would like more information about what we would do togather let me know.
Get her a nice, but "cool" necklace. Let her know that it is her "special" necklace that will not only let her know that you are always there for her, but will give her strength when she needs it.
Overstock has some great necklaces! For example, you can get a diamond peace symbol necklace for under $30.
How sweet of you to take this child under your wing. This is such an important time in her life emotionally. I admire you for doing this.
My daughter turned 14 in Dec. I know Itunes, gift cards and cash were all her favorites.
Since her birthday, Christmas and our 20th anniversary are all in the same week....it is pretty hectic around here.
I don't know your budget but....
My daughter is like me with jewelry preferences and only likes a couple of very nice, classy pieces. So, in July, we surprised her by going to a jewelry store. My hubby takes care of us very well and he explained that she is growing up and she needed some nice jewelry. She found a beautiful cross necklace and we also got a nice gemstone ring for her.
She treasures these pieces of jewelry.
A nice piece of jewelry could be something that she would treasure and always appreciate the person who gave it to her. You wouldn't have to be very extravagant with it, maybe a nice necklace and it would mean a lot to her.
I don't know about the tastes of your daughter's friend. Juicy Couture has some pretty necklaces and bracelets at reasonable prices (less than $100) if you don't want to go a jewelry store route.
A journal would be nice. My daughter keeps a journal and writes her thoughts, songs and poems in it.
I also might add a special card telling her how you care for her as well.
IN NO WAY WAS I SUGGESTING THAT SHE BE "BOUGHT". I was simply thinking of something special that my child did find very special and treasures. My daughter and I are not "bought". I am very fortunate to have a husband who works very hard, provides very well, treats us with love and respect. Sometimes Yes, he will give us some materialistic items because he is proud to be able to do it in addition to being here with our family.
Notice that the journal I mentioned is extrememly special to my daughter.
Best wishes!
journal with her name or a phrase printed on the cover....
book,keepsake box
i bet that since she is USED to receiving extravagant gifts to compensate for emotional detachment...then ANY gift from the heart would mean so much to her....while people are trying to 'BUY' love the child only wants that connection (even though a 14 yr old may not realize it at this point...although i bet they do!)
you are an amazing woman....thank you for helping a child in need!
How about something with her name engraved. Maybe take her to James Avery and have them pull out a few pendants that you select ahead of time (price wise) and ask her to pick, if she likes one. The time you spend doing this with her will be memorable. If she is uninterested in the pendants once she sees them, don't feel hurt, but just say..."how about we leave here and go get some 'fill in the blank with a food she likes'. Just an idea for you to stew over... An i-tune gift card is always good for a 14 year old.
I have a 14 year old daughter also. She also has a friend from a broken home that we have taken under our wing. I bought her a heart shaped locket Necklace for her birthday and put a picture of me, my daughter and her in it. She wears it everyday. I shopped around and found one on sale at one of the jewelry stores in the mall for less than 30 dollars...it also came with a warranty - which we have used once when she broke the chain. Good Luck and God Bless You.
GIRLS DAY OUT! NOTHING SAYS YOUR WORTH IT THAN GIVING YOUR TIME!
Take the girls to lunch, chick flick, manicure..... do it together so you get some time for random chit chat. Give them a disposable camera to take pics...... Stop by Sam Moon for some accessory shopping.... go get a starbucks, etc.....
You can go to beauty school for cheap nails, or massage school for cheap massage.
L.,
You are a very kind person! ISTM that the most valuable thing you provide this girl is your time and attention. Why not make up some little "gift certificates" that say "redeemable for x", where x can be "an afternoon at the movies", "a lunch", "a weeknite dinner", "a batch of fresh baked cookies", etc. Include these in a small gift basket with some lotions, hair stuff, etc. My son has done this for me in the past for Christmas, birthdays, etc. and he includes things like "infinity hugs and kisses", etc. But, I keep those at my desk and it is so heartwarming to have them there. I think these would show the girl that you really care and are always there for her, without getting too sentimental - i.e., they are for concrete things, but not too expensive.
M. B.
After skimming the other responses...
This is for after you give what ever it is you decide to give (I hope you post a response - I always like to read what happens!) ....
If you decide to give the scrapbooking stuff, maybe you could schedule in regular times to work on scrap booking with your daughter and her in the months to come. Monthly, or quarterly?
A.
What about a pedicure with you and your daughter? A letter that tells her how special she is would probably be treasured for years to come. A weekend get-a-way (my mom would rent a local hotel room and we would pretend we were on vacation ..it was great!). Good luck with whatever you decide!
I think a diary and notes of encouragement in it would be a great thing. Scrap booking stuff, and pictures of yourself and you 2 together mean more than you will ever know.
Scrapbook - if you're into that, and have the pictures, you can get a simple kit for less than $30 at Wal-Mart.
Time - pedicures together.
You clearly know the child and what she's into - use that 'inside information' to tap into her needs, instead of the material stuff that everyone else appears to be trying to buy her with.
S.
What about a locket? I bought one for my neice for Christmas and she loved it. My sister says that she thinks that she was special because I got her something like that. Just a suggestion...Hope you figure it out, maybe this helps!
my experience is that girls that age love personal or personalized gifts. i agree with another poster that whatever you get her, the fact that it came from you makes it automatically a great gift. you are awesome for being there for this little girl!
Have you thought about a gift certificate to a nail or hair salon to have a day with the girls or perhaps a day shopping to get a day for the girls. I raised 4 daughters and have adopted 2 more girls and a boy and they all seem to love that time, just a suggestion, Hope you think of something you and she can enjoy together with your girls included, of course.
Bless you! The world needs more people like yourself!
I think that whatever you give her, it is the thought, not the item itself that counts. With 14 year olds, it is hard to get them anything they really like, but something (anything!) personal for her that shows you have paid attention to her likes and dislikes would be good. If you can't think of anything, a $15.00 gift card at a store she likes or for iTunes would probably be well appreciated
