Birthday Blues - Saint George,UT

Updated on October 18, 2010
C.W. asks from Saint George, UT
12 answers

My daughter is turning 2 in a wk and a half. I was going to have her bday on the 30th and have a costume halloween themed party. Now I'm unmotivated... I feel bad because I go to school and don't know many people with kids. My aunt and her kids are going out of town. There's a girl I talk to alot in my biology class that has two boys and my neighbors down the street that has two boys and a girl her age she played with like twice and we talk to their dad a bit. I guess I'm shy but I feel like it's pathetic if I invite them when I don't know them very well. I'm getting discouraged, feel like a loser or somethin. Help?

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So What Happened?

Thanks Shira that helps... I'll have to keep that in mind. I feel guilty cause I feel like I'm the reason she doesn't have close kid friends so I get sad around this time. When she starts kindergarten she will be able to make her own little friends, but right now I feel like I'm failing her in the friends dept.

Thanks guys. I think I'm going to take her to Jumpin Jacks (a place of inflatable bouncers for kids) and build a bear for her bday. I read about some of yall having older kids where they expect it and you shell out so much money lol I really should be more relaxed when I don't HAVE to do all that haha. I think I will set up playdates with those other kids outside her bday so she'll make friends too... win win :D

UGH there NO build a bear in st george utah... so ridiculous!!!

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R..

answers from Austin on

I agree with shira... At 2 she probably won't care about having a bunch of kids at her party anyway. Dress her up and go play at the mall, get some Ice Cream at a parlor, something fun that she loves. Then have a special dinner with the family with cake and ice cream when she can open her presents.

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S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Come up with a special event for you and DD.
Don't invite strangers to her party.
Do you have any kind of kids museum
or special playground type of place in your area?
She's the star of the day.
Make it special just for her and you together.
And, if you're feeling blue,
consider feeling proud of yourself for all you do
and blessed to have DD, healthy and turning 2.

3 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Seattle on

I think at 2 a special day with just her nuclear family is all that is needed! There will be plenty of time for "friends parties" once she goes to school!
Don't beat yourself up about it, do something mellow, she will love it!

My kids are 7,5 and 2 and none of them have had a friends party yet...we do their favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner...a yummy cake w/ice cream...we play games all day,they pretty much get to be the boss and dictate what happens all day, we open presents and play, that's it! Oh, I do blow up enough balloons to cover the floor...they love that!

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I really wouldn't worry about it, she is 2, she won't remember. Wouldn't it just be as fun to do something together? Like make some fun cupcakes and decorate them? Give her a few gifts and be done with it? I do understand feeling bad/guilty, I am a single mom myself, and honestly I think we parents put too much pressure on the birthday party thing...Just wait till she is in kindergarten/first grade/etc...(like mine is now) and the invitations come and you have to buy gifts for a whole classroom full of kids. It gets expensive! So enjoy the few years you don't have to do the big elaborate party...Unless that is something you LOVE to do, in which case ~ plan away for the future parties, but don't let this year get you down.

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, Don't feel like a loser. You can try asking those people you mentioned and make sure they understand it is a costume party as well. They might really enjoy it. If they aren't interested, you could take her somewhere she really enjoys. I don't know where you live, but my daughter took her little girl to LegoLand for her birthday. This was after a "family" birthday party. Just make it special for her and you will be okay.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

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C.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our 2 year old just loved being with her loved ones, many of whom are adults- in fact, at that age, she still related better to adults than to peers. We had her grandparents and a few close friends, who were adults. Do something small, something that SHE will really like. We didn't even have cake because my daughter just liked cream. So we had mini cream puffs with ice cream and fudge sauce and stuck in candles.

I did have a casual playdate later for her birthday with a few kids her age, but since it wasn't a "party" there was no pressure to have games, presents, decorations, etc.

You'll have a great time and less stress.

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S.F.

answers from Reno on

When our children were born, my husband and I decided that FAMILY would be the focus of birthday celebrations, not the party. Consequently, birthdays in my family are simply special days with gifts from family and a special out-to-dinner, chosen by the b'day person. If time, schedules and finances allow, we'll throw a small celebration for close friends at the local pizza parlor.

So, I say do something special with your daughter and not worry about it.

Good luck!

G.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have created a TRADITION of skipping the party for my 2 year olds! I went to too many parties where the least happy party-goer was the freaked out, 2 y.o., guest of honor with their crazed, proud parents dragging them through the whole wretched, over-simulating day.
At ONE, I do grown-ups only...because I survived!
At TWO, for my first boy, I went to McD's playland and blew up a bag of balloons from the 99c store. As kids came and went they played together and the balloons made it extra fun. We stayed for hours, til he was burnt out. I don't remember what we did for my second son's 2nd b-day but it was equally mellow and all for him...no pressure.
At THREE, (I think they only then start to get it and want the party), I went to Vons bakery and let him pick out a birthday cake of his choice then loosely built the party theme around that.
At FOUR, I could never have gotten away with not giving my son a party! He talked about it for MONTHS preceding.

You're doing just fine, mama! You have a little time to worry about friends, etc. before your daughter will hold you accountable. ;)

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B.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

What a great opurtunity to make someone else happy and make some new
friends. Kids always get along....... Do it.

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K.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your daughter is turning 2! give yourself a break! Celebrate with her on her special day in a way that is meaningful for the two of you: do something out of the ordinary that will be meaningful for her: a petting zoo, an age appropriate community costume event, maybe the ballet or a children's theatre performance, or "build-a-Bear"; let her pick her favorite meal for dinner (or lunch); have a birthday cake with candles and the birthday song, followed by a gift that she can cuddle or that you can do together. There is absolutely NO NEED for a "party" at this age! what is important to her is YOU! If you are in school, she probably doesn't get as much one-on-one mommy time, totally focused on her, as she would like. give her that-she will have a much happier birthday for it than if you put together a "party" with a bunch of near-strangers.

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L.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, there are great alternatives to a "birthday" party. Consider spending the day at an amusement part, a small train ride, or pony rides. We had a "dinner" at a local restaurant with family. I don't think the baby will remember too much, except you and your smiling face. Don't ever feel like a "loser", you are a thoughtful and loving parent.

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sweetie no need to feel bad. She is only two and what she needs is you. A party at that age is overwhelming. My children have had parties as they have gotten older, like when they attended school and we would invite their school friends. You don't have to prove you are a great mom by throwing her a party. There will be time enough for that. Buy her a gift, give her a cake, sing happy birthday, and help her blow out the candle. She will know she is loved by you! Just enjoy your sweet girl!

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