13 answers

Birth Certificate and Fathers Last Name

I KNOW ALOT OF US PLAN TO HAVE A HUSBAND AND THEN CHILDREN BUT THAT IS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE FOR EVERYONE.
SO MY 19Y/O SISTER HAD A BABY ALMOST 4 MONTHS AGO. WELL THE FATHER HAS YET TO SEE HIM AND WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM.
SO TUESDAY (TODAY) SHE IS GOING TO COURT FOR THE DNA TEST SO SHE CAN CLAIM CHILD SUPPORT.
(GOOD FOR HER!)
WELL PEOPLE HAVE PUT ALL KINDS OF THINGS IN HER HEAD TO SCARE HER FROM DOING THIS. I WANT HIM TO AT LEAST HELP WITH THE BILLS EVEN IF MY NEPHEW NEVER KNOWS THIS MAN.
I ALSO WANT TO HELP HER BE COMFORTABLE WITH TAKING HIM TO COURT BUT, THE TRUTH IS I HAVE NO IDAE WHAT IS TRUE AND WHAT IS FALSE.
SO HERE ARE A FEW THINGS AND IF ANYONE KNOWS PLEASE TELL ME SO SHE DON'T GIVE UP AND LET THIS BOY WALK.
1ST WILL HE BE ABLE TO CHANGE HIS SONS LAST NAME TO HIS IF SHE DOESN'T WANT HIM TO?

2ND WHAT ARE HIS CHANCES OF TAKING HIM FROM HER?
SHE IS A GOOD MOM EVEN FOR HER AGE AND LIVES W/MY MOM TO HELP.

3RD IF HE DOES DECIDE TO SEE THE BABY CAN SEE GET SUPERVISED VISITS?
I KNOW THAT SORTA DEPENDS ON THE CASE AND JUDGE BUT WHAT ARE HER CHANCES?

I WOULD REALLY LIKE ALL THE INFORMATION I CAN GET FOR HER.
EVEN IF YOU ONLY KNOW 1 ANSWER PLEASE RESPOND.
HELP ME FROM KEEPING HER FROM LETTING HIM OUT OF SOMETHING HE HELPED MAKE?
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
T.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I WANT TO THANK EVERYBODY FOR TAKING THE TIME OUT AND HELP ME HELP MY BABY SISTER. ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH HELP.
SHE WENT FOR THE DNA TEST AND SHE IS NOW GONNA TRY TO GET SOLE GUARDIANSHIP!
SHE IS STILL A LITTLE SCARED BUT SHE IS DOING THE RIGHT THING.
I WILL KEEP ALL OF YOU UP DATED AND THANK YOU AGAIN!
T.

Featured Answers

Well, the judges will definitely grant the father some kind of visitation if the father requests it. Most judges push for some kind of contact between the parent and child. If you want supervised visits between them, you have to explain to them why the father can't see the child alone. I got a divorce about a year ago and that's all I can help you with. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I am a family lawyer, and everything that Amanda H said is correct.

2 moms found this helpful

hey T.! good for your sister! my best friend has gone thru exactly the same thing. #1 he cannot change the childs name. since his name is already listed on a birth certificate he would have to go thru the courts to change it. they most definatley wont just change it.#2 he would have to prove her an unfit mom. but she does need to go to the court and get what they call sole gaurdianship. once it is shown he is the father he can take that child out of the state and there isnt anything anyone can do. it wont be considered kidnapping. this is really important. she can still get child support and all, he just wont be able to take the child. if he does after she gets sole gaurdianship it will be kidnapping.#3 she most definatley can get supervised visits if she can prove he is to unstable to be alone with his child. Hope this helps.adding to the response about it taking 6 weeks for abandodment, it actually takes 90 days.that is 90 with out any type of contact at all. if he calls, it starts all over.I have a lawyer for a cousin. email me if you need anything else answered and if i cannot answer it i will call him.--A.

2 moms found this helpful

Well i went through this some of it with my ex husband. My husband now has adopted my older son now though.
To answer some of the questions.
He cannot make her change the babies last name if that is the way it is on the birth certificate. I mean they might make her do it in court but i doubt it..
In the state of TN all it takes is 6 weeks of the father not seeing the baby or child to be considered abandanment. So therefore the judge will not give up custody of the baby to the dad. I can answer alot of questions and would be glad to.
It is possible for supervised visitation, but if she pushes the issue or has her lawyer to say he has never seen the baby etc. then it might be different. You can email me with all the questions you have and i will try and answer them based on my expericence.

S.
____@____.com

2 moms found this helpful

I've been going thru this process for the past 20 months. I can sympathize!! Your sister does not have to change the baby's last name. I chose not to. I'm in almost the exact situation. The father would have to take your sister to court in order to get any kind of custody. That's a separate court from the child support court. If they were never married, he doesn't have much chance of taking the child from her. I worried about all those same issues. Is she doing this thru Maximus? That's the agency that I've been working with.

She definitely needs to take him to court. He needs to be paying his share. The sooner the better. The court system takes months. The question about the supervised visits would have to be answered in court I believe. That's not something the child support judges deal with. They deal strictly with money. Although, the percentage of child support paid to your sister would depend on whether he's involved with the child or not. The judge asks if he's involved/visits the child and if he does not, his amount of support would increase. They try to get both parents involved. Hope this helps you a little. If you have more questions, just email me!

1 mom found this helpful

Well, the judges will definitely grant the father some kind of visitation if the father requests it. Most judges push for some kind of contact between the parent and child. If you want supervised visits between them, you have to explain to them why the father can't see the child alone. I got a divorce about a year ago and that's all I can help you with. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

First I THINK THAT SHE SHOULD GO DOWN THERE TO MAKE HIM TAKE CARE OF HS CHILD.

1. If you want to get child support the child need to have the fathers last name. It's easier and faster.Some judges will make the changes. It will get changed in court and she will get a new one.
2. as long as she has proof that the child is being cared for and is in a great envirment, the child stays with mom.
3. You can get supervised visit if the judge lets u. But, if he is willing to see the child after he has to pay support then let him see the child. I think that is where we go wrong. Don't discourage the father to be in the child's life. I know you said he wants nothing to do with the child, but aafter he is in court he may change, and that is ok. The child is still young and let the father come in give him a secound chance. I work with so many children in this same stay. And let mothers know everyday that it is ok, to forgive. Then again it's not for the parents it's for the child.

1 mom found this helpful

T.,
I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I haven't seen her dad since that day I told him I was pregnant. We are finnally getting to go to court over DNA with him next month. My daughter doesn't have his last name and he has NEVER helped me with anything. Tell her to NEVER give up fighting for what is right with her baby! All of you questions really depend on the judge and the situation. I know in my situation. He cannot force me to change my daughter's last name. He will probably get supervised visitation but that's b/c he lives out of state. She can request anything and stick FIRM by it. The judge determines the out come, but I wish you and your sister the VERY BEST OF LUCK! It's very hard in her situation. Keep your faith in God. What's meant to happen will happen!
E. S.- single mom of 2

1 mom found this helpful

to ur first question yes if he request that the child have his name then yes she must change it but only if he wants the child to have his name to ur 2nd question it is very hard for a father to take a child from its mother he has to have STRONG proof that she is unfit does not matter her age or whether or not she is married or whether or not she has many or no boyfriends as long as she provides a good home for her child nothing else matters 3rd question as the visits its really up to the judge all she can do is express her concernsand leave it up to the judge but the most important thing she needs to do is get custody of her baby dont know how your state works but here in tennesseeif your single and the child has a mother and father but they are not together noone has custody of that child so she needs to check and see if she has custody of her child she need to seewhat her state laws are good luck ande remember one thing evry child needs to know their father whether its good or bad they need to know where they come fromyou never know he might just change for the bestkids can bring the best or the worst out of some one

1 mom found this helpful

T.,

I feel for your sister,she is me 18 years ago except my daughters father wanted to be a part of her life and i tried to cut him out.I gave her my last name and although once she became a teenager she wanted it changed to her dad's,they could not do it without me.She will be 18 next month and this week we will go to court to legeally change her name before she becomes an adult. I was not by far the mother of the year and he eventually took me to court.The judge granted JOINT custody. In the long run,it was the best choice for my daughter. I also have a 9 year old who's father has seen her a total of 7 times in her life. I donot track him down,however I made the choice for her to have a support order in place.When he works(far and few between!)That order is linked nationwide to his SS# and checks are automatically garnished!He cannot regiter a car or obtain his drivers license again until all past child support is paid($53,000.00)He has been jailed 6 times for non payment of support and made Illinois top 20 Dead Beat Parents list with the Illinois police.Your nephews father can try to run and hide but it won't work if she takes the steps to protect her SON'S rights. And if by chance my ex decides it's his right to be her father,the steps I've taken will prevent any judge from deciding in his favor. I've seen both ends of the situation. I hope this helps.

J.

1 mom found this helpful

I read your story and can relate to your sister. I was 24 years old when I had my son and he just turned 4 years old this month. I found out I was pregnant when I was 5 weeks along and his father left me the very next week stating he was not ready to be a father and he was 25 at the time. I have not talked to him since then. He now is married and has a 1 ½ year daughter that I guess helps take care of as far as I know they are still married. But I chose not to give my son his father last name and not to get child support because I have watched my other 2 sisters fight month after month to get their child support and to me is was not worth it and did not put his name on the birth certificate either. I then lived on my own and was in college, my parents asked me to move back in so they could help me. I stayed with my parents until my son turned 2 and I finished college. I have sent his mother my son's grandmother pictures and offered numerous of times for her to call if she liked to see or spend time with my son never heard back. I did how ever take my son to see his grandmother when her husband his grandfather passed in 2005 first time she had ever seen him and told me then that my sons father didn't claim my son but that he looked just like him. Never heard from her again but I still send pictures to her and she told me she did keep them.
But when my son gets older and wants to know about his father I will tell him and if he wants to find him I will help him and if he doesn’t then that is fine to it will be his choice. But to me it was not worth the fight. His father was with his wife and daughter at a park me and my son was at one day and they all walked right passed our son and never even looked his way. That hurt my feelings for my son's sake but I'm just glad my son was not aware and I just tell my self if he only realized what he is missing out on.
But my advice to your sister is does she want to deal with the father for the rest of her life probably fighting with him every time, wondering if he is good to the child, if his next girlfriend will be good to the child. It will be hard believe you me but if her parents are willing to help then she will be ok. My parents kept and still keep my son while I go to school and work. When I had my son I worked 10 hours a day 6 days a week and went to school 5 hours a night 5 days a week and had a new born and I survived on an average of 3-4 hours a night of sleep and was able to become a LPN and graduated on the colleges Dean's List and will graduate again this May as a Radiology Tech with the help of my parents. But I did it all for my son so that I would be able to provide for him and not have to rely on a man to help me. But I am now engaged to a wonder man that has custody of his 3 daughters ages 5, 7, & 11 and is wonderful to my son and me. I believe everything happens for a reason and just like me when your sister least expects it she will find her Mr. Right. I had finally gave up on men and that is when I found my Mr. Right. So tell your sister to follow her brain and not her heart because I asked my self time and time again if I had made the right decision by not following my heart after I had my son and it took me a few months but I realized I did make the right decision cause if I had followed my heart it would of been because I still had feelings for him at the time and was hoping things would work out between us but by following my brain I have accomplished more things than I had ever planned.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.,
I am going thru something simailar. The father of my daughter left me for another woman and 3 days later i found out i was pregnant. He didnt want anything to do with it. At 6months prgnant I met my husband we were married about a month later. My daughter is four now. I am going to let my husband adopt her seeming as her is really her father anyway. I dont want to have to let her bio father have anything to say about it. If your sister lives in Alabama and the father is not on the birth certificate then she is in good shape. In alabama they have something called a Punitive father registry and if the father is not on the birth certificate and he did not go to the health dept and sign a registry then that is implied consist to abandonment. She can get him with child support and he will have no rights to the child. I never wanted child support because i did not want him in my life and i had my husband. I did alot of research on adoption and that is how i found out about this. Also if he is on the birth certificate. Being that she is still a baby i dont think that he gets very long visitation anyway. I dont think that he will get to keep her overnight. The chances of him taking the baby from her are very slim. Your sister would have to really be abusing the baby or not be able to care for the baby and of course he would have to have some solid proof like pictures or something. I am also going thru visitation issues with my husbands daughter from a previous marriage. I hope this helps. If you have anymore questions you can email me at ____@____.com .I would be happy to give you more info.
T.

my daughter had my last name for 11 years when her loser dad took me to court and the judge let him change her last name to his she still has mine - his also and my advice get a good lawyer for your sister if the guy has money she could los the child even if she isnt a bad mother money talks in some states D.

I have gone through the same thing and I can answer any questions that you have for me. Feel free to email me at ____@____.com.

J. D.

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