BiPolar Disorder I

honestly if i was with someone who had bouts of rage and he terrified M. and my children i would be flying back to family or going to a shelter ASAP. doesnt mean you have to leave him. he is sick. he needs medical help but you need to be safe as well, so until he is on meds and in counseling you and the kids should be elsewhere or he should be.

bipolar runs in my family. at times it is very scary. i'm sorry=(

There should be medical arrangements that can be made if you cannot afford insurance. Either through your state our county medicaid office or places that provide medication on a sliding scale.

Would you allow him to be untreated if he had cancer? No. Therefore do not let his bipolar go untreated. It can be just as deadly.

Get on the phone RIGHT NOW and find someone who will treat him on a sliding scale or free. Sometimes there is a wait, but it CAN be done.

Look at what you can cut out of your budget. Look at taking a 2nd job to provide insurance.

This is nothing to let slide or prioritize below ANYTHING else, except for basic food or other medical care. Go without cable. Go with a lesser car, take the bus. But get the father of your children on his medication. Especially if he is not safe.

I do not have a spouse with it but I have a very close friend with a H with it.
The times of rage are fewer with meds like an anti psychotic that just went to generic and MUCH cheaper than it used to be. The usual lithium is not very expensive either. I would find a way of getting him care.

No matter what you do nothing will be as cheap as a doctor's visit and meds for him. If there comes a time he is raging as bad as it was, go to a woman's shelter. Find one now so you know what to do if the time comes. If he hits you, it will cost you the doctors visit and he still won't have help.

Then find a support group for you as the spouse. The numbers are not in your favor for having a successful marriage. You need all the tools you can get to have a chance.

My friends H uses moodscope.com to track his moods and automatically send her an email copy of his score. They are working on a code word for when his anger is getting out of control. All this really only works with medication and counseling.

If you are in danger, GET OUT!

Edit To ADD: The BPD diagnosis makes this a WHOLE DIFFERENT story!
Find that woman's shelter NOW! I have a mil with BPD. Meds help very little.

You need this website

BPDFamily.com

You will find a board there filled with people specifically with your same situation. It has lessons on communication and boundaries. It will be a great help! Go to your library and get Stop Walking on Eggshells.
People with BPD think they are justified whatever they do to you. They are dangerous. Please get help for yourself. Very, very, few get counseling. Don't tell him you are leaving. They react VERY badly to perceived abandonment. Find that woman's shelter!

So....you're all OK with this untreated mental illness?
I would be moving heaven and earth to find some way, some place, some plan to have this medical issue addressed.
Call social services, call welfare, call a psychiatrists office for direction.
I'm sorry, I don't feel this is something to let go.
Good luck to you.

And the people I know with bipolar have stretches of time at mania, them depression--not switching in the same day. Maybe that's a different type.
I'm not sure.

My husband has BP II. Even with meds, his symptoms aren't completely controlled, but he's a great dad and generally a fine, upstanding guy -- just overwhelmed by frustration at times.

And, if your husband is anything like mine, he NEEDS meds. There is no question about it.

What you need to do, this minute, today, is make him an appointment with a doctor who will prescribe something generic. Lithium has been available as a generic for decades. It's not free, but it's only a fraction of the cost of a name-brand prescription. Please get on the phone and try to get him in to see a doctor. The other hard thing, aside from the drug costs, is finding a new doc who'll see him on short notice. But please, make this happen. This will not get better on its own.

He can get his meds for free most of the time if he is truly low income, like minimum wage or a little more than that. If you contact the company they often have papers you can fill out and they fill the prescriptions at a highly reduced price or for free.

Our local community mental health agency will give you your meds for free. His psychiatrist that should be prescribing the meds might also have some company contacts where they can get the meds for him for free.

I would see if there is a local MHMR near that might beable to help that works with your income and not insurance. I know how hard it is to live with someone like that. My mom has multipule personalitys. Is much better after years of meds and theropy. And when it first showed she didn't have insurnace either and she went to the MHMR and was able to get the help she needed. You are not alone!!!!

You must feel so overwhelmed and so alone. It must be so difficult to be on your own in a new place without resources. If you are afraid for your safety and that of the children, and if you love your partner, you need to get him help. That may mean taking steps to force him into treatment. If there is no insurance, there are still low-cost or state-sponsored programs to provide needed treatment. You must start with the local police if you are willing - not to have him arrested and jailed, but to have him forced into treatment. Your primary obligation is to the children, and also to yourself. If those girls have an unstable father, the children have no one but you - so you must protect their mother. If you won't go to the police, go to your town's department of family services and find out about therapies available to families in crisis. Your visit and your discussions are confidential. There are sliding scales, and often there are insurance coverages for the otherwise uninsured. Do it today. Your partner is crying out for help and you are the only one who can take steps to get it. Good luck.

I'll share this link w you and you can take the info or leave it. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I really think that a real food diet, free of any grains and dairy (the Paleo diet) will help tremendously. This story is just an example:
http://m.anchoragepress.com/mobile/news/the-gluten-made-h...