20 answers

Bipolar Daughter

My daughter Dena was dignose with bipolar at age 21 she is now 27 and takes her meds my question is I can't deal with this situation, I get mad at her and I get nervous alot, I am 55 years old and my menopause is bad right now so everything bothers me, what can I do??

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I want to thank everyone that responded to my question, I really didn't think that anybody cared out there in the computer world! I have taken Dena to get therepy and she goes to Dogon Behavorial Medical Group in Riverside, they are very helpful and I recommend them to who is dealing with bipolar issues like mine. If any body wants the info email me at ____@____.com and I will gladley give you the info. God bless you all and thanks once again. AlmaRose mother of Dena :)

Featured Answers

So sorry for what you're going through. My only advice is exercise. It helps me deal with frustrations much better since I can't fix the other person. Also a doctor friend of mine said it really helps women who are going through menopause a lot. Find a good gym with some classes. I think it will make a big difference.

More Answers

I am bipolar (I'm 57) and my 17 year old son is bipolar so here's from a double whammy aspect. I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until 7.5 years ago but was since a teen. My son was diagnosed when he was nine.

My suggestion is to find a support group in your area. There is a website called meetup.com where you can view established support groups in your area or sign up to be notified when a new one is started. You can also contact your local/state mental health department for a list of meetings.

At a support group meeting you'll get to voice your concerns, problems, anxieties...anything that is on your mind. Everyone is nonjudgemental. You'll also get to meet other parents who's children have a similar diagnosis and find out what works for them. While most bipolar support groups are for youth or adults who have been diagnosed as bipolar and family members are rarely invited, there are support groups for parents of children with disabilities or special needs. Bipolar fits that category.

Many a time, when my husband and I left our monthly meeting, we'd draw a breath of relief beause we didn't have it so bad. It is said that if at a meeting everone wrote down their child's diagnosis, and all the hassles that come with it, place that information in the middle of the table, and upon leaving...being told to pick and choose from the pile in the middle of the table...ALL parent's would chose their own. It's what's familiar.

Another thought is to attend a conference on being bipolar or relative of one. I've icluded some links below that you might find helpful.

Here is a good site to learn more about being bipolar... http://nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder/...
Here is a good site for knowing what NOT to say to your daughter...
http://www.healthyplace.com/bipolar-disorder/support/wors...

To sum things up I need to say this...your daughter has a disease...other than medication and therapy she has little control over the disease. Would you be so angry with her if she was diabetic? Get on your daughter's side...view the disease through her eyes...and become the type of mother who your daughter can turn to when she has her inevitable ups and downs. Being bipolar is like continually being on a roller coaster, except you never know when that next twist or turn will happen.

Your menopausal symptoms probably aren't helping much right now. Are you receiving medical help for your symptom? Are you taking a hormone replacement medication? Maybe you need to address this issue first so you'll be "in the right place" to be a support for your daughter.

Good luck and God bless.

W. Q

2 moms found this helpful

My mom has bypolar and have had to distance myself from her.
Just take some time to be apart.
Tell her this so she doesn't think that you do not love her anymore.

I wish you the best of luck with this.

God bless.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm so glad you reached out, you are definately not alone. There are a lot of resources out there for parents in your same situation. I would suggest that you reach out to your local mental health association or the Riverside County Department of Health. Hang in there, help is on the way.

1 mom found this helpful

I hope you get some good answers. I know someone in the same situation, but come to find out her daughter just had depression and her meds are working.

1 mom found this helpful

My step daughter was mildly bi-polar. It takes more than meds as they've been using "crutches" to work in this world and sometimes we can help them keep those dysfunctional ways by allowing it (that's called "enabling"). Counseling is a good idea for both of you.

You no doubt know that bipolar is genetic so they always expect to find parents or grandparents or aunts/uncles to have it -- usually undiagnosed. Any change you have mild bipolar or were raised rather dysfunctionally by a bipolar parent? Just things to watch out for. Bipolar is like ADD in that the symptoms can vary widely as well as the strength of the problem.

YOu didn't say if you get mad at her because she is causing it or if your hormones make it difficult for you to be around anyone. So, it would be helpful to try to honestly figure that out. You both deserve peace and harmony so go seek your answers from mental health experts. They of course have many clinics who will charge only as a percentage of your income (and many insurance policies cover it to some degree). Some won't cover certain issues but will cover others that are closely related (Generalized Anxiety for example).

1 mom found this helpful

Are you interested in natural things to help regenerate and feed your body back to health? God Bless! J.

1 mom found this helpful

Have either of you looked into 'biomedical' ways to help with this? I have known of several adults and many children that when their diet was changed and certain supplements were introduced, the symptoms minimized and even went away. Some of the culprits in diet were dairy and wheat. Supplements that helped included omega 3s and amino acids. These can be determined by testing and by trial and error. Another thing to look into is heavy metals - doing a challenge test and see what shows up there.

For you I recommend getting Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup. Get a different perspective on what menopause is, and how it works, and what to do about your symptoms - don't mask them with drugs or surgery yet.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Dena. Try surrounding yourself with the most amazing positive people you can, who can help you deal with what you are going through, which must be hard as a mother. Perhaps that will counteract the emotions with your daughter. Designate one of your friends that is willing to be your buddy coach and allow you to vent without judging the situation, and then leave you with a statement of strength that can get you through the day. If you don't have a friend who can do this (really, not many friends are capable themselves to be positive in today's world), there is a free online community called Compass, and you can connect with my profile at www.MyLifeCompass.com/NicoleSteiman. Sometimes just posting your struggle for the day and getting encouragement from others can help you reframe what you are going through so you can use it in your life for good, and for others. Already you are looking for resources to help you -- I think that shows such love for Dena, and most importantly, YOURSELF. You must make sure to give yourself a lot of self love when dealing with this. Treat yourself well, keep your energy up, and if you like to journal, I have found this to be very helpful in my life as well. Hope this was of some help to you.

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