BIG Move!

The move should be a lot easier on you now with your kids as young as they are than once they're involved in school and activities. My parents had a 2, 4 and 7 year old when my father decided to leave a safe, tenured professorship to be an entrepreneur in the Washington, D.C. area. It was supposed to be for 1 year. It's been almost 33 years, and that is their home.

I guess an important question is how stable the promotion is and what the repercussions are if he turns the position down?

I was one of the many laid off last year due to a big corporate reorganization. I still have friends who are out of work, and as one of the lucky ones who returned quickly, my salary is 80% of what it was previously. My total compensation is down almost 40% which has a real impact. And, there are not other positions out there waiting on someone like me because there are so many people looking and qualified.

If your husband believes it's a good move for you, I'd be honest about your concerns and make the best decision for your family based upon weighing the benefits/risks.

Good luck. Change isn't ever easy, but I do hope it's a good one for your family.

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I moved states to be with my husband. Yes, it was starting over, and yes, it was scary, but it was the best thing I could have done. Go for it. Relax, take a deep breath, and look at all the positives.

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I moved from France to Finland, from Finland to Massachusetts and from there to California thanks to my husband's promotions.
It's starting over, but for the better!

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we will possibly be dealing with this in late summer/early fall. We are making the move from CA to VA. I know it's for the best and I am actually very excited. I will get to make new friends, my kids will go to a better school, we will get to be near family, and live in a beautiful state. Good luck and maybe you can get into some mom groups like mops or set up play dates with your 4 year olds class mates and meet other moms.

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In the past 7 years I have lived in three different states (OH, KY, MI) and four different cities. Each time we moved with children. They were young and were still young when we made out last move from KY back to MI.

The kids adjusted quickly (probably because they were young) and in time, so did my hubby and I. The hardest part was being away from family and friends. Now we are back in MI and back with family which is great...but I would have been happy to stay in KY too.

Best thing you can do is contact the city office of where you will be moving to. I did this when we moved to Lexington and they sent me a whole packet about the city. You can probably find most of the info online. Change your city on THIS site to the one you are moving to and ask some questions. When you get there, explore. Find local libraries, parks, or even a mom's group.

Also, rent before you buy. We did this in each state so that we could get to know neighborhoods well enough to know if buying there would be a smart move. We wanted to make sure the schools were good, as well as the people. We would take little drives all around town at different times of the day just to what was going on. Was it quiet, were there other kids, did people take care of their yards, were people zooming down the street, among other things that we were looking for. The last thing you want is to buy a house and then find out that there is a train behind you, or that it's in an area that floods a lot.

Moving seems scary at first but you get used to it. There are all kinds of websites to help you with packing and moving details.

Just keep reminding yourself that this is a GOOD thing for you and your family.

Good luck and best wishes! Enjoy your new home =)

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I am jealous! You have a wonderful opportunity to see more of the country and meet new people! You have been given the gift of starting anew! Run with it woman...embrace it like no other! You are at the mercy of fate/destiny...enjoy it!

Oh, the possibilities!

My brain would be going a mile a minute....and I would be a huge ball of nervous/excited energy!

Wishing you only the best.

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If this is good for him and you can find work too, if you work, then go. It's like anything else, you're scared, but sometimes change is good. Do you have any kids?
In this economy, if he thinks this will work out and it's worth it, then you should feel blessed with him, his job and his advancement.
Look at it as a new chapter in your marriage, an adventure. A new and wonderful start. I'm sure you will make new friends, and still be able to have all the friends at home.
What state are you moving too? Look it up on the internet and find out all the great things that will be new and fun.
Plus you still have all of us on here to chat with! The moving part will be a pain, but you just might find your dream place!
Good luck and Congrats to your hubby.

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I've moved with my husband for better jobs 5 times in the last 4.5 years! 3 times with my son! (PA-VA-KY-TX-CO) It is a hard transition for us sahm's because you have to start all over finding friends and play groups. I joked one time about going on a "first date" with a new friend. Moving is a pain! But I've gotten to live in different states and able to explore new areas. Some places had great things to do with kids and others, not so much. Yes I am ready to stay in one place for awhile and I think CO may be it. Just be open to the move. Let your fears go and think of this new place as a vacation! After you get settled go out and explore the parks and meet new people. It will be fun after the stress of the move is over. Good luck with the new job and the move!

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6 years ago my husband was offered a promotion to a job out of state. We had family there, but not within a 3 hr radius and we weren't really close to any of them either so it would basically be just us. We had a 22 month old and a 3 month old. We decided his career would better provide for our family than my career, so we went. It was the BEST decision we ever made! We were forced to really rely on each other and became a lot closer as a result. We've made friends, found a wonderful church home, and couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Get on-line, do research, see if there's a mom's group where you want to go and get plugged in before you ever move. Once you get there find a church, or volunteer at your kids school, or contact your neighboorhood association to meet other people.
Good luck, and approach it as a wonderful adventure not a scary move!

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We moved from Chicago to Houston about 5 years ago. It was scary, but I have never regretted it! We love our new neighborhood, the weather, everything about it. We actually had an opportunity to move back a year ago and turned it down. Treat it like an adventure and it will be great!

Good luck,
K.

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Hi H.!

Congratulations on your husband's new job!!!!!
It's so normal and natural to feel that way. I have been there. I have moved more than twice because of the same reasons you have. It is wonderful and exciting. Your kids are still little, so that is very good, they will adapt very easily, believe me!! When they grow up, they start making more friends and leave them behind is a sad experience for them; they get used to it, though, but it is a phase.
My last move was from Indiana to here STL. I lived in Indy for 8 years! So, I left behind good friends, my kids' friends, my husband's friends, my doctors, my dentist, etc....I mean I left things and people I liked and loved very much.
Of course, moving is exhausting, packing and coordinate things, get a new house, etc...We rented a house first because we did not know very well the areas and renting was a good option to get to know neighborhood, schools, etc...
You have to think that ALWAYS you'll find nice people around you whenever and wherever you move, in every state you will find what you like, nice people, nice houses, everything. Mamapedia, in other (better) times called mamasource, helped me to find what I needed when I moved here, the moms were wonderful here and helped me to find doctors, dentist, etc...
So when you move out, keep posting here, you only have to change your zip code in order to get more help with the moms located in your area.
Good luck and ...don't worry..be happy!!!!
Alejandra

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Dear H.,
Congratulations on your husband's promotion!
Good jobs are really scarce right now so be sure to be thankful!

My husband's company relocated us to a different state when my daughter was 4. I loved it, to be honest. The only bummer was the timing, my sister was pregnant and I wanted to be closer to her and involved in all that. But all else aside, I found it to be exciting getting used to a new place. We had a lovely home in a beautiful neighborhood and I don't remember exactly how I found her, I don't even know if there is still such a thing, but my new community had a wonderful Welcome Wagon lady. She came by and we had tea, she brought some gifts and promotional items from local businesses. She was really nice and gave me her personal preferences for the best schools, best routes to and from different places, etc. She really did make me feel welcome.
It's okay to be a little nervous. It really is a big transition. But as far as "starting all over", you aren't really. You have your husband and your children. It's just the place that's changing. Going off into the unknown can be scary, but it can also be a great adventure.
You will meet people, you will make friends. Your kids are little and adaptable. I think you'll do just fine.
Make sure you have a good long-distance calling plan. Talk to the chamber of commerce in your new city. Visit the public library and see if they have story times for kids your ages. Visit some churches if you're into that. I think you'll find many people who will embrace you.
Your husband might be a little nervous too. He's taking on a promotion which means more duties and challenges at work so you need to support each other.
The most important thing to remember and tell yourself every day.....
BLOOM WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED.

Best wishes!

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What a wonderful opportunity your family has in this mess of an economy. I think it is a perfect time for you to move. Your children haven't started school yet, so they don't have to experience switching schools. The 1 year old probably won't even remember the move. Just stay calm and enjoy the positives, I think you'll be okay. All the best!

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You can do it - easy peasy!!
We moved here from Great Britain for a new job having never been to the USA before in my life and with a set of 16 month old twins and obviously no family here. Heck I didn't even know where Michigan was on a map - I thought it was past Chicago since it was "mid west"! At least you know how to get a drivers licence and how the health care system works and how to drive on the wrong side of the road etc!!Getting a social security number and opening a bank account with no US credit history was interesting too!!! Heck even the supermarkets are arranged differently over here!!
Join a local Moms club and get the kids in some classes and library activities and you will soon pick up friends. Also see if the area has a newcomers club.
We lived in rented accommodation for 6 weeks then bought our house in an area recommended by our wonderful realtor - research schools you want your kids to attend and look there for housing. If you have a religion then obviously you will want to look for somewhere near your church and you will be able to use that as a resource for lots of local info. We are not religious so that was not an issue for us but I know it means a lot to lots of Americans..
Been here 7 years now and every day it seems more like I can't imagine going back.....
Good luck - what an amazing adventure you will be embarking on - enjoy the ride!!

About 4 years ago we moved with our 16 month old son (and I was pregnant with our daughter) from California. As with any big change in life, there were a lot of positives, but also some negatives, that came with our move. First and foremost was the weather - you can't really compare MI weather with CA!! But of course we moved away from our friends, a life that we had become very comfortable with and starting all over is always a daunting task.

But what we found in MI has been wonderful too, we are closer to family, although still about a 4 hour drive so not very close - but at least not a plane ride. We have found some wonderful life long friends for ourselves and our children, we have grown as a couple because of the changes that we have needed to make... we still miss CA because we had a wonderful time there, but I don't think that we would have not moved because being in MI has been good too. I think the most important part of any big change is your attitude - if you go into it thinking it will turn out good, it will! If you go into it with a bad attitude, you are setting yourself up for failure, especially with little ones because they feed off of your emotions!

Best of luck, a move is always exciting but a lot of work too :)

I would do it and I would be very open to a new start it will make you all closer.

It is hard to leave behind friends and family. My daughter did the same thing several years ago. They moved from Grand Rapids, MI to Louisville, KY area. She was blessed with meeting a young mom in the neighboring subdivision who had two little girls the same age. They are still friends and do things together. The other thing our daughter did was join a MOPS group. That is a non-demoninational group that meets at churches. It stands for Mothers of preschool children. When the group meets they provide daycare at the same facility. Hope that works for you too!!! Good luck!

I hear you, it is hard and scary. We've moved 5 times in the nearly 9 years we've been married, mostly for school and jobs - my husband is a resident physician at this point in life. We will likely move again in 2.5 years when he is done with his training. It is never easy, packing up and cleaning up the house is hard, but fitting into a new community is hard too. Two of our moves were in coal mining country in eastern Kentucky, and no matter how hard we tried, we could not fit in with the local people. They referred to us as "foreigners" since we were not born there. Anyway, some moves were hard because we didn't make new friends in the new area, and others were hard because we had made close friendships and now were leaving them.

It can take about a year to develop close friendships, but the best way is to get involved in the community. Finding a church, mom's group, kids play group, school activities/PTA, gym...that sort of thing puts you in connection with people who share the same interests, so therefore will be easier to get close to.

You'll always be able to keep up with your friends from your old place, via visits and social networking/email/phone calls. But don't neglect getting out there and meeting people! I think I'd be more settled into this new location if my car was working (its been down for a few months until our tax return arrives), there are a lot of activities at our new church that I can't go to without getting my girls up really early and dropping daddy off at work and picking him up (adds about 3 hours on the road to my day). But I plan on doing that once we get the car fixed/replaced.

Best wishes - you're going to make it, and make lots of new friends!

Not only considering your husband....but also you may always feel disappointed that you turned down a great opportunity for yourself and your children by missing the chance to experience everything about the new place and new people. You will have time to explore...you can have a great time....and always plan time to come back for vacation trips...invite friends to enjoy the new too. Girl Scouts encouraged old friends are like silver and new like gold.... a saying that helped me when loneliness occurred.

We moved to Michigan almost 5 years ago from Kansas City when our son was almost 2 and I was 7 months pregnant with our daughter. It is tough, but really no too bad. My best advise would be to quickly get involved in a church or other religious community and seek out people. You will be surprised how much these people could become your "family". We also got very involved going to library classes and met people quickly. We are now facing another move (to Nashville) and thinking about doing it all over again and I find myself getting pretty teary-eyed thinking about leaving all of our wonderful friends, but I know that we will find more wonderful friends in our new home!

Hi H.
It is really hard to move away from all you know, but the thought of it is usually worse than the reality.
I moved to Michigan seven years ago from England. I left all my family and friends behind and moved here when my oldest was just seven weeks old.
It was hard at first not knowing anyone but I soon met some wonderful friends who I couldn't be without now.
I still miss my family, that never stops, but it definitely gets easier. I go back home once a year which makes it easier too.
My advice to you is to quickly find some good groups to take your kids to (church, playgroups, library storytimes etc) and you will meet like minded people to make friends with.
I can't imagine going back to England now, which goes to show you can build a home anywhere. Wherever you go it will become home to you. The friends you make also become part of your family, I know mine are.
Good luck, it is a little scary but think of it as a new adventure.

Write a pros and cons list for each side and see what you come up with. If I see things in the written word sometimes I can see them more clearly.
Good Luck,
C.

Wow, you have received lots of great stories, that goes to show you that you too can make this move. I moved from Michigan to Texas (never living elsewhere before) with a 10 month old and a 7 year old. It was scary! This was before I knew the internet could be so helpful. (about 10 yrs ago). Learning the area ahead of time if possible is helpful. I took my little one to as many activities as possible, i.e. book store story times, library, and other local story times. I did the community mommy & me classes, anything to get to know people. I am back in Michigan now due to economical changes in my husbands job about 7 years ago - but I will never regret living in another sate. It was the best experience of my family's lives. We met some wonderful people that we still keep in touch with, and my older son keeps in touch with old friends he made as well. Embrace this adventure and make the most of it! Good luck to you and your family!

Well I had a much longer answer, but accidentally deleted it. We have made the big move twice in the past two years. From NC to AZ, where we new we would be for a year and then onto PA. Az was very exciting since it really gave us a new area of the country to explore that was so different. There we went somewhere almost every weekend. In PA we moved to a small town, where there isn't a lot to do sometimes. I also went from working full time to working at home. After a couple of months I started feeling a little isolated, even though I was loving life here. I started taking a class once a week and we also started going to church again. Getting out and meeting people was great. So I would say go for it and make sure to find something to do once you move with or without the kids. Our neighbors here have also been wonderful and friendly that we can all talk on the street while outside. The actual drive was interesting both times and has plenty of stories. We don't have kids yet, but were traveling with 1 dog, 3 cats, and lots of live fish. So if you do have pets, make sure they travel well in the car and if not talk to your vet on ways to make them more comfortable so you will be too. I'm sure you are already a pro at traveling with two kids.

Good luck and hope you enjoy your move and exploring a new town! It can be a little scary, but it is exciting at the same time and I am sure you will all make new friends in no time.

You can do it! I have a bit of a "wanderer's heart" myself so moving is always fun for me :-) It can be a little scary and ovewhelming at first but take the time before you go to look up neat things about the area you are moving to. Post on here to see if anyone is in the area you will be moving to & can give you some "insider" info. Have lots of fun & go explore! Take the opportunity to teach your kiddos some of the history of the area you move to.You will do great!
Side note: We will be moving from TX to AL in 3 months (I'll be 7 mo preg.w/ baby #3) and then 3 months later we will be going from AL to FL with another move about 7 months after that.

You can definitely do it! God opens doors where they are supposed to be open, even if we would never imagine we are where we are. My husband got a promotion and when my baby was 5 months old I learned we needed to move to France to take it. Everything will work out! Trust that you are where you are supposed to be and enjoy the adventure!