BF Is Turning Out to Be a Complete Failure! Sad, Need Advise and Help

its just easier for her to get the formula from the bottle..u need to use a slower flow nipple or jam it up so she'll take to your breasts better..also try nursing in the bathtub in a calm environment..i had a C-sec and have a boob job..breast fed til..um...recently my son is 3..i think u can do it..don't under estimate your breast milk...i still have some ..i was ever a big milk maker either so i compiled this list...hope this helps u..

here is my list on how to up your supply

1. rent a hospital grade pump..Medela Classic is what i used..it's
$3 a day and totally worth it! OR better yet buy one off ebay and
when you're done you can re-sell it on ebay and get your money back.
i bought one and it works great..the medela classic is supposed to be
the best pump out there. i sold mine for $50 more than i paid for it when i was done.
2. get the Easy Expression bra www.easyexpressionproducts.com it
holds both cups over you bb's and it's better to pump 2 at a time
3. eat oatmeal ....get the healthy kind i add bananas also i would
think pasta would be good b/c it retains water
4. Take "Lactation Supplement" by Gaia Herbs you can find it at the
health food store
5. try to pump at the same time every day...also try power pumping..
10 minutes pumping..then stop for 10 then 10 again and then stop and
so on. even pump if you aren't getting anything.
6. Make sure the white membrane thingies that attach onto the cups
are fairly new ..over used ones affect how much milk you get
7. Drink lots of fluids including Nursing Mom's tea or Mother's Milk
tea or the tea i prefer is www.breastea.com ..also drinks with
electrolytes like Recharge...Smart Water...Gatorade i notice on days
i drink a lot of fluids i have more milk
8. Eat barley..Barley Grass supplements are great. also..they have
barley bread at Trader Joe's if you have a Trader Joe's where you
live..or just buy barley. I buy a delicious barley tea at the
japanese market and i drink a couple of cups a day..it's decaf and
yummy.
i also drink Healthy Mom's drinks by Ensure
9.A warm wash cloth helps too ..apply to breasts before pumping or
try the breast heating pads that you heat up in the microwave.
10. Keep taking your prenatal vitamin..not getting a lot of milk
could mean a vitamin deficiency
even if you pump just a little ..save what you get and start adding
them together and then supplement with the milk that you pump..that's
why it's also good to pump after they've gone to sleep..then you help
build your supply and you also have more bb milk for baby..
11. nurse nurse nurse..triple up on nursing..you're going to have to
dedicate a week to it
the more you pump the more milk you'll begin to make.
12. LOTS OF REST..nap if you can ..milk builds when you rest
13. DHA supplements also are great for lactation..also found at the
health food store*
14. Alfalfa supplements are also great.
i think that's it..
15. Try a whey protein powder drink.. i use "Whey to Go" by
Solgar..you mix it with milk add some berries and a banana. it says
to check with your doc before using if you're bfing..so ask your
doc..i only drink one a day and i add a some Motherlove's "More Milk
Plus" to it.
16. Again you should double pump when you're pumping so make sure you
get the bra to make it easier on you!
17. Goat's Rue herb is also supposed to help boost
honestly drink LOTS of liquids
keep yourself moist ...don't take any birth control pills.
18. there is also this stuff called Motilium aka DOM a lot of mom's
use this ..it's for reflux but it builds up your supply.. you can
read about it on Kellymom.com http://www.kellymom.com/newman/19a-
domperidone1.html
and you can buy it here... http://www.inhousepharmacy.com/general/
motilium.html

2 moms found this helpful

Don't give up. I had trouble with both of my babies. Put her to your breast even if it's only for a short time - each side. Then give her the supplement from the bottle immediately afterwards and get her nice and full. She will get used to that routine and want to have the breast when she's hungry because she ended up content the time before (even if she got most of her food from the bottle). As you continue this routine, the suckling will help your milk come in and you should have more each time, plus she won't be frustrated because of being hungry. As your milk builds up you'll slowly be able to supply all she needs. This worked for me, both times. My babies were losing weight too - and they were frustrated because they were hungry. This routine helps all of those problems and allows you to fill up more and more each feeding!

Another help: it's important for you not to stress or feel guilty! That keeps your milk from coming in as well. If you need to, have a glass of wine - anything like that to help you calm down.(my doctor suggested that and it was great advice!) It's all going to work out - if you'll give it time and patience. Have faith! You're not alone....

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C. my dear don't stress yourself out. Its not like you haven't tried. Formula is great nowadays! The same happened to be but all guilt about not being able to bf goes away when you see your baby thrive and satisfied. Its not worth it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with bottle feeding if you don't have enough milk. I did the same thing and was reluctant to bottle feed cos I didn't enough breast milk and my baby ended up in the hospital...dehydrated. Just mix what breast milk you do have with formula to make a meal for your little girl and maybe it will make you feel better about the bottle. Hope this helps. Best to you.

2 moms found this helpful

I don't know that I have any great advice, but I am not sure that I will be able to b/f my newborn twins, either. I had no problems with my older daughter, but she was a very easy vaginal birth, latched on right after she was born and I had no problems nursing her.

I just had twins 3 weeks ago, and though we thought I'd be able to go to term and have a vaginal birth again, things didn't go as planned. They were 5 weeks early via c-section and spent 12 days in the NICU. I've been pumping, though not as often as I should because I'm so tired. I've tried them on the breast, but not even every day. They aren't 6 pounds yet, and someone said that makes a difference. Even with pumping, there is no way I'll produce enough milk to satisfy both of them, and I'm still having to add some of the 22 calorie formula to the pumped breast milk (who knew that breast milk is 'only' 20 calories?)

Anyway, we are using the formula for preemies and they are gaining weight very well. The pediatrician is pleased with their progress. I've decided not to worry if they ever take the breast because what matters most is that they are getting the amount of food that they need in order to grow appropriately.

Don't beat yourself up if breastfeeding does not turn out the way you'd hoped. You are not a failure. The important thing is to get your daughter the nourishment she needs. If your LC isn't very helpful, consider finding a new one. (I have yet to consult one, but probably should).

Good luck to you, and again, do NOT beat yourself up over this. I recall when I was at a restaurant with my daughter years ago and on the way out, some ladies stopped me and 'congratulated' me on breastfeeding. Little did they know I was at my wits end because I had to return to work and my daughter still wouldn't take a bottle...no matter what was in it. I wasn't offended, but wondered what they'd say if they had seen me feeding her with a bottle. Sometimes it's a choice, and other times it's what's best for the baby. I think it's very personal and don't like the fanatics who say there's only one way. Do what's best for you and your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful

I am sorry for your emotional stress and pain over this issue. I also could not produce enough milk to feed my baby. My baby was born and left the hospital a few days later, but became severely ill after a few days at home because of not enough intake from me breastfeeding. The LC at the hospital made me feel like a complete and total failure. A wonderful (male) nurse at the hospital told me, "It's not your fault. Don't get so hung up on trying to do this. You need to make a decision of what to do and just go with it." I ended up deciding to use formula with my baby, as I still could not produce enough milk (maybe less than 1 teaspoon on each side.) The whole thing was so stressful. It was more depressing for me to think that I was starving my baby and I worried whether he would gain weight all the time. Just think about what you need to do to keep your baby healthy and strong. This is not your fault. You are being the absolute best mom you can be.

Take care,
J.

1 mom found this helpful

I can understand your frustration. The one thing I want to REALLY REALLY stress is a pump is no indication of what is coming out!!! Some people pump a ton, some do not. I breastfed both of my babies - both were c-sections, with both my milk did not officially come in until days later, day #6 with my first, day #4 with my second. Neither starved - yea, they lost weight (but this was monitored by a Dr.) and yea they were on the boob 24/7 but that is where they needed to be to get what they needed and to stay satisfied. I did not supplement. I'm not a Dr., so I'm not telling you to not supplement. I just think to often we rush to give formula when what we have is the best thing. I know it's a lot of work but nursing your new baby on demand, even if she just nursed 20 minutes ago, is the best thing you can do with her right now. Don't watch the clock, watch her. You have a 5yo, imagine having a younger child on top of your new baby. At least your 5yo can help a little/keep herself busy, etc.. If this is what you want, you can do it. Do not think you don't have enough milk. By the way, I rented a hospital grade pump after having my son because I wanted to store some milk - I'd pump for 30 minutes, both sides, first thing in the morning and I was lucky to get an oz. Needless to say, I wasn't able to store any milk. Also, if your LC hasn't been much help than you need a new LC. Stress and being depressed won't help your milk supply. I know it is hard, but please try to take care of yourself. Healthy meals/healthy snacks (have water and nuts at arms reach where you nurse) and drink plenty of water!! With both of my kids, our nursing relationship didn't really get comfortable until the 9 week mark. Give it some time, nurse on demand, get rest, eat/drink and it will all work out. If it doesn't, at least you'll know you tried your best.

Best wishes,
M.

1 mom found this helpful

Please accept the fact you are one of those Mums who can not BF. not every one can,,, I have three children and I could have fed the "nation" but both my sisters....one has 7 children, the other has 6 and neither could BF. My advise is buy your formula,bottles etc and feed her..

1 mom found this helpful

This site has great tips for increasing milk supply:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/bf/galact.asp

1 mom found this helpful

Hi there C.! I haven't read the response below, so my apologies is any of my advice is redundant. I'm in a hurry, but I did want to encourage you. My experience was very similar to yours. I wasn't producing hardly any milk and was really sad that my daughter would not want to breastfeed, because for a few days she was supplemented with formula. However, in time (a few days, which felt like forever!), my milk came in and within a few days we were 100% breastfeeding! The stress, the exhaustion and the delay in milk all added to my frustration.

However, asking for lots of help from your hubby, friends and family will help you rest. Drink lots of water. I also took some herbal supplements, the Motherlove, More Milk Plus capsules & they helped tremendously. They make a liquid also, but it tastes bad, so I would go with the capsules if you have a choice. Otherwise, mix the liquid with some strong juice or something & take it like a shot. I also think I took them around the time that I started to relax and not worry so much.

If your little girl needs some formula, that is okay! I remember feeding my daughter a bottle of formula at the doctor's office and feeling guilty like everyone was looking at me. I almost wanted to announce "I'm breastfeeding, this is just a supplement." My lactation consultant was so encouraging and supportive, and did not frown on me giving the baby a little formula if it meant me relaxing, resting (well, as much as possible), and working towards 100% breastfeeding. She also told me, pump your breasts as if you have twins. Lastly, I would every morning pump on the opposite breast as I was nursing her on the other breast. This helped build my supply lots and I stored a bunch in my freezer. That was great for when I went back to work!

Best of luck to you! I am completely confident that you will soon be writing us all to tell us that you are successfully breastfeeding your little girl with no problems at all! You can do it!

1 mom found this helpful

Dear C.-

I completely feel for you- this happened to me too and it was so heartbreaking. I wept or three weeks, in the shower, when I pumped, and when my baby cried and I couldn't help her.

I wanted to give you some resources that you may not have found-

Jack Newman M.D. is a canadian pediatrician- google him- he is a great advocate for BFing and has videos and will even answer your personal emails. I found him encouraging and also have his book on breastfeeding.

I also used an SNS- not sure if you already tried this- it's a tube that you tape to your breast so your baby can practice latching on while drinking formula. I did this for 2 weeks for a couple of feedings. Honestly it is very stressful but did help me because I knew I was feeding the baby but didn't have to give her a bottle (i worried she would prefer the bottle and never come back).

I found a LC Stella Teachout to be very helpful:

Stella Teachout RN,IBCLC
18853 Nearfield Street
Azusa CA 91702
Phone: ###-###-####
Email: ____@____.com

She spent 2 hours with me at two separate times, observing me, encouraging me. She was a little tough, and I cried a lot, but I do think it helped. She also responded to my emails. She works through the Arcadia Methodist hospital and I think you can see them for $50, not sure though.

Two friends of mine had preemies and couldn't get their babies to latch. Both moms kept pumping for months. And by some miracle, one mom's baby actually latched at 6 months and is still BFing after 1 year!

I know you're not getting much out while pumping, but it does take time and baby is much better than the pump. Plus you are so tired and stressed which makes it even harder. Eventually I was able to pump more than a tablespoon. Oh- one tip that seemed to really help me was to pump WHILE breastfeeding. This was sooo hard to do but resulted in my greatest increase in volume. Much more effective than pumping after, and less time consuming too.

I was blessed to finally be able to breastfeed enough after about 3 to 4 weeks, but it was really tough. In the end you know you are doing your very best and that is what counts. You may end up BFing a little and supplementing the rest and that is just fine. Your love for your baby is the most important. If you do end up switching to a bottle just continue to spend the bonding and cuddling time you would have while BFing- that's irreplaceable.

Hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

I had the same experience with my 6 year old. I had literally no milk. It is vital that you supplement with formula because it is extremely detrimental to their health and development if they are not receiving proper nutrition. I tried everything: consulted a lactation specialist, pumped like crazy, mother's milk tea, fenugreek, i drank tons of water, i even tried acupuncture & herbs that she gave me. I did end up giving him about 12 ounces of breast milk a day but that still wasn't enough and had to continue supplementing. I believe it was the pumping and the acupuncture that helped the most. You do need a heavy duty hospital grade pump, i rented mine from the lactation specialist. I did not take the fenugreek for long because it made everything, including my infant, smell like maple syrup and I learned that it is not completely safe - there are risks, including heart problems so it is not worth it. It was such a tough experience so I know how you feel but ultimately, the most important thing is that you have a healthy baby. Good luck.

I personally would give her formula . She will feel better and so will you. I hope this helps. :) Good Luck.

I don't know where u r located but u need a good lactation consultant. if you are in so cali, try the breastfeeding clinics with susan orr in torrance (healthlinks at torrance memorial - sat. & mon. 9a) or long beach (long beach memorial). there is the pump station in santa monica area.
susan or the pump station can refer u to a good lc to come to your house. it isn't cheap but it really helps.
neither of my girls nursed well at first.
if your nipples are very sore and turning white when she tries to nurse, her latch is too short and she is literally cutting off her own supply and sending the message to your breasts to make less milk. that happened to me.
and it is very true that the pump is not a good indicator of milk supply - a newborn infant who is suckling normally will draw easily 2x the amount you can pump.
keep trying the nursing, check the condition of your nipples after each try and don't keep her on there if it feels like she is pinching - she is learning the wrong way. pump every time you give her the bottle to keep your supply up. fenugreek coupled with 15 min of pumping 4-6x a day will really help the supply issue. and the lc can get the latch fixed.
a good lc is so worth the $.

ok first of all you have to relax and STOP telling yourself that you're failing.. or BF is failing. That is only making it worse for you. Like the other poster said... drink lots of water... nothing with caffeine in it and take no form of decongestants. You must also eat... right now is not the time to be worrying about losing weight, if that is a concern at all. Make sure you are consuming AT LEAST 40 - 30- 30 = 40 complex carb, 30 protein 30 fat. You want the milk to have a decent amount of fat in it.
For me, pumping made me dry up so as hard as it has been to be the only one to be able to get up in the middle of the for the last 14 months, it has been worth it to be able to never have my son on formula (except for the first week while my milk came in). I would pump for over an hour and get only about 1-2 ounces so I feel your frustration. Pumping is not a natural sensation to the breast so until your body is producing enough, WHICH IT WILL, then don't pump. Let her nurse as often as she wants.. no schedule at 10 days old. Let her nurse first and then if you still have to give her formula ... do so, but you want to make sure she nurses frequently. I used to let my son nurse every hour in the beginning to get my supply up.
I also used mother's milk tea by traditional medicinal. It worked better than just fenugreek.

Good luck and don't despair! It will happen

Hi,
You should try Brewers Yeast flakes. Don't worry about supplementing with formula it is the best thing you can do. I had to do the same thing until my milk supply got better and my son BF until he was about 8 months. He is a healthy, happy 2 year old who hardly ever gets sick.
Best of luck,
J.

Hi, C.,

I think that it helps to realize that all mothers' bodies and preferences are different and all babies' bodies and preferences are different. I'll provide the feeding of my two babies as an example.

My situation with my first child was similar to your situation. After six months of struggling to nurse my firstborn, I finally let him drink (formula only) from just the bottle. He became a happier baby. If I had it to do over again, I would have let him get all his sustenance from a bottle from day one. Everyone would have been more relaxed. I could have spent the time I pumped tiny amounts of milk and struggled to breastfeed him reading to him and playing with him, which would have helped his development at least as much. if not more, than receiving milk from me.

My second child practically crawled up to my breast as soon as I was sewn up after my second c-section. 17 months later he is still on the breast. I didn't do anything special to try to produce milk or get him to latch on. I wish that he wasn't quite so attached as the attachment is making it hard for me to do anything else, such as study and do research.

The following might also help you put things in a more global perspective: in my mother's country, Vietnam, not long ago, poor women who couldn't breastfeed and couldn't get wet nurses had to give their newborn babies cows' milk, which contained elements which were not very healthy for babies, or a "milk" made of a strained mixture of rice and water, which lacked nutrients which were important to babies' development. In many poor countries, even now, babies die of malnutrition because they can't get enough milk from their mothers and they can't get formula, food, or clean water. At least here, as far as I know, virtually all babies can get human milk or formula. Your baby, even without another drop of human milk in her life, will probably have a healthier childhood than the vast majority of people on this planet.

Good luck,
L. E

C-section moms notoriously have a hard time breastfeeding - something they don't tell you before the surgery. Here's some ideas:

1. Get Mammary PMG from Stanard Process and start taking it immediately.
2. Flush out the liver gently from all of the drugs given to you and allow your body to work right - taking Mother's Milk tea.
3. Milk thistle might help - just 1-2 each day
4. Increase your water intake
5. Relax and get yourself a GOOD lactation consultant
6. Remember that pumps are not as efficient as babies. I never got even an ounce the first 3 weeks, but the baby was growing. GET THE BABY TO LATCH ON AND STOP USING THE PUMP. Nurse the baby every 20 minutes if necessary - Demand and supply.

Dark beer may increase the milk supply, but wine will dry you up.

I had my first baby in Germany almost 50 years ago, (I was an exchange student), and it was unheard there of not to breastfeed. She was born with multiple disabilities, including cleft lip and palate, so could not nurse. There, all new mothers drank beer. I didn't drink beer, but instead drank lots and lots of milk and other liquids, ate yogurt -- anything with protein and calcium, and pumped. Eventually, I was feeding three babies in the neonatal ward with my milk and the German nurses were disappointed when we sailed for home! They had been quite scornful of my small size. After that, I refused to let the hospitals in the USA give my new babies anything until I started to nurse, and none of them starved.

I thought the people with the ideas of beer or wine to relax, and the feeder tube sounded good. At any rate, lots of liquids and pumping to increase milk supply may help. The more the baby can taste your milk and not get used to something else, the more successful you will probably be.

S. Toji

Not sure where you are, but the bf nurses are great at the Providence hospitals - St. Joseph's and its sister one on Rinaldi...both my boys had to supplement with formula at the beginning due to complications (long story) but those nurses helped. What worked for both boys was a feeder tube. I managed to squeeze enough milk out to put a little in a syringe. I put the baby to the breast and the feeder tube in at the same time and they thought they were getting the milk from the breast. Then they started to really suck and stimulate the milk production. Supplement with formula, but every time she gets formula, try to express some milk, maybe even by hand, so you have for the feeder syringe. While you pump/hand express, RELAX, look at her and smile, and just say to youself, "Come on milk!" Strange, but it does help.

The same thing happened to me after my daughter's birth - I bled too much and had trouble making milk. No full breasts, no little milk coming, little one crying and hungry, the whole thing. My advice to you is to keep trying. I did and my milk came in fully within about three to four weeks (It may have been longer, I can't really remember). I remember how sad and upset I was too, so I truly understand, and feel for you! I hope you can try to relax a little bit and know that your body will eventually do what it knows how to do. I took fenugreek religiously, ate well. I did pump a lot, too, to stimulate the supply. Don't give up! I was able to switch fully to breastfeeding and breastfed my daughter for...well, years. (3 or 4) I don't want you to have any regrets or feel as though you gave in to pressure from other people to do something you don't want to do. Supplement her (maybe look into goat's milk?) and get on a system of pumping and nursing, and be patient, it will happen! Good luck to you!

C.,
Drink tons of water. Try not to stress too much.
(Good dark beer is a time honored natural method and it actually does help and helps with the stress too! Not if you have an alcohol problem though, obviously...)

La Leche League is an excellent resource at LLLI.org it is mother's helping other mothers with breastfeeding issues. It has been around for a long time and is FREE too. There are meetings you can attend (FREE) and get to know other cool moms with kids your age near you. Many playgroups, babysitting co-ops and long term friendships have developed from these meetings. 17 years later my son is still best buddies with a friend he met through LLL and we moms are still tight too!

Everything will be okay. Really.

Bright Blessings Beautiful, Loving, Caring Mommy,
Deb

I'm so sorry that you're having such a difficult time with breastfeeding. I was there with you with my first child. With both my deliveries, my milk took about 6 days to come in and was very slow to pick up to their demand. I felt like I was the only one with this problem as others seemed surprised that my milk wasn't in yet!

I was very determined with my first, and with the help of a good lactation consultant and a hospital grade breast pump, I managed to feed him well for 10 months. He was supplemented with formula for several weeks early on and then again when I returned to work. Really, he was only exclusively breastfed for 1-2 months. It was a constant struggle, but I am so glad I persisted. I too became frustrated because I would get nothing when I pumped after feeding him and he also was still hungry. In retrospect, I think he was very effective at sucking me dry which is a good thing for increasing supply. I pumped after on the advice of my LC, this may not be the correct thing for you. I worked under the assumption that the pumping after was for the purpose of continuing to stimulate my breasts to produce more and tried really hard to not look at how little was being pumped, even to the point of covering the bottles with a towel while I pumped.

I resolved to supplement and do the best I could. After several weeks and one weekend of just lying around in bed with him, feeding constantly and power pumping, my supply caught up with his demand. However, because of the difficulties I had with him, I did not go through the same thing when I had my twins. For them, I pumped for 9 weeks and decided to move on and provide them with formula. Amazingly, my supply was much better with them, not just because there were two, and I contribute this to the fact that I was at peace with my choice and didn't stress at all about sometimes needing to supplement them with formula. I realize telling someone to relax is probably not too helpful, since then she becomes tense about not relaxing...Anyway, trust that your body knows what to do and that with time and work, you can have a great breastfeeding relationship with your baby, in whatever form that takes (exclusively or supplemented). Needing to supplement does not equal failure. It's just taking a bit longer than may be "typical" for your body to catch up to your daughter's demand. Contact help to make sure that you're doing the best you can to up your supply and then just try to go with it.

I wish you the best and please do not think that you are failing when your supply does not keep up with her demand. There are options out there and, even if supplemented, you can have a great breastfeeding experience with your daughter. Even after having to supplement quite a bit in the early weeks, I finally was able to exclusively breastfeed for awhile. I believe this would have continued if I hadn't returned to work full-time. Sending good thoughts your way.

Go online QUICK and find a good lactation nurse through your hospital or a Le Leche League group. You don't want to miss out on bf. Act soon before you can't get your supply up. However, rest, eat and drink ALOT and your supply should come. It's all supply & demand, so the more you supplement, the less you'll produce. Also remember, you never pump what the baby can suck, pumping is always less. So even if you pump one ounce, the baby may have been able to suck 4.... Good luck.

I'm local if you'd like more help.
____@____.com

My daughter ate every half hour for half an hour for the first couple of weeks. All they do for the first couple of weeks is eat sleep and poop. Leave her on one side for at least 20 min a feeding. I remember being shocked at how much time is involved in bf. I would just feed my daughter on one side at a time, to start, but like I said, she ate every 30 min. The she started to want both sides a feeding, so we did that.
Relax. Put some nice music on, put your feet up, watch tv, read a book, gaze at your child in wonder, whatever... After 30 min you can either switch sides, or (if she is done <limp baby>) pump. You won't get much out of the side she has eaten on. You may not get much out of either side to start. relax, if you pump right after she has eaten it is not a big deal.
Drink lots of water. If you want 4 oz of milk drink 8 oz of water, 4 for you 4 for her... I had an 8 oz cup ever hour to make sure I was drinking enough. Limit caffine. Alchol may help you relax, but it is not good for her, skip that...
You may not be able to bf exclusively, but any amount of bfing is better than non. If you need to give her a bottle, do it. You can talk to your doctor about maybe offering her the formula like three times a day. Not after every feeding...
try not offering a pacifier for a couple of days. if she is awake and fussing, give her the boob. she may just want to suck for comfort, and it will help to stimulate your milk
anyway, good for you for trying. bf as long as you want, even if you supplement with formula, you are doing what you can.
good luck
R.

Hi! I know everyone is different, but i thought i would share (: I had a c/s as well, and took me about 6 days as well to get milk in. Then when it was finally in abundance, she would not latch on. I was so distressed. I saw the lac. nurse at the pediatricians office and it was a simple issue such as positioning. Point being that night i almost gave up i was so distraught. But i was so thankful to hold on just a little longer....as when i was the problem was solved. I personally like the hand pump. I felt like i got more out faster. Of course to mch reptitious hand movement can cause i carpal tunnel like feeling. Don't give up yet. Take a deep breath and be patient. Make it a sweet time instead of a time of dispair/frustration. Remember, it is supply and demand-maybe your let down time lags a little, keep her on the breast and if she is hungry, she will stimulate that milk production. Best of luck!

Hi C.,

Please do yourself and your daughter a favor, accept that BF is not working, and buy formula so that the baby gets her nutrition. In no time at all both you and her will be relaxed and happy. This should be a time of enjoyment not a time of worry and frustration over something that may not happen.

For my first, I was able to feed for 5 months; for my second, 1 month. Of course I would have liked to BF for 1yr+ because of the benefits to the baby, but the crying from the hungry babies, was more than I could bear and I had to accept that I had to be content on what I could do.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

I know exactly what you are going through, and it is really hard. I actually gave up breastfeeding because my son wasn't getting enough, I got mastitis, and I was going on no sleep, so I couldn't think clearly. I actually decided to relactate a month later because I wanted to bf, and it has been great ever since, so don't give up. I think you should get a nursing supplementer, that way your daughter stimulates you and can get formula at the same time. You probably won't need it very long, but you can build up your supply, and stay away from bottles (which just mess up your supply more since you aren't actually bfing). I got the Medela SNS, but there is also the Lactaid Nursing supplemented, either will work.

One more thing, being depressed and stressed hurts your supply, as well as not eating enough or drinking enough fluids. I know it's hard to let go, but I had no let down for maybe a week because of stress, once I was able to relax, things worked much better.

Good luck!!

Hi Kathy,
I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel. You are not a failure! Breastfeeding may seem like the most natural thing but it takes so much work and many moms out there are simply not able to. Don't beat yourself over it. It takes time for you to be able to build up to pumping a larger amount of milk when you first start. Some women have boobs that can do it instantly and others it take some time. The stress and the depression can also hinder lactation as well. Continue to pump, bf, and supplement and one day you'll be a natural at it. I absolutely agree with all the moms that recommended the La Leche League! Good luck and hang in there!

Formula babies do great. There is no real science to prove that they don't. Why wear yourself out when you need to do so much for your children and husband?
Enjoy your little one and see how much the family love giving the bottle to the baby.
B. v.O.

I would try renting a more powerful pump that was all that worked for me no store brought one worked but the rented one which is to expensive to buy did wonders. I also had to pump and nurse about every hour until I produced more milk the more you did it the more you produce. Best of luck to you and your baby.

I,too, just wanted to add a word of encouragement to you. Keep going!! No matter what you guys are bonding and that is important when you breastfeed. Also, drinks TONS (double or triple what you normally drink) of water, eat A LOT of protein and just keep going at it........

Kudos to you for even sticking with it!!!!!

Congrats on your baby!!!!

That sounds really rough! Maybe it will be difficult for you to get back to exclusive BFing, but if you continue to keep up at least a little supply of your own, your baby will still get the benefits of BFing. It sounds like you're doing everything you can. don't beat up on yourself and hang in there!

try drink tea hot or cold also try putting a heating pad or something like that on your breast.

The amount you get pumping is not necessarily indicative of how much milk the baby gets - until I went back to work and was away from my baby and not nursing at all, I got almost nothing when I pumped. Supplementing with formula, though necessary somtimes, really hinders your milk supply, especially in the early weeks. You need a good lactation consultant who is really committed to breastfeeding to get you back on track. With respect to fenugreek - my pediatrician recommended taking 13 tablets the first dose - a huge amount - to kick start the milk. go to kellymom.com for more ways to increase milk, there are many things you can do, including pumping ever couple of hours to stimulate the milk. But don't give up at this stage - you just need apropriate help. Also, try to stay relaxed about this - stress will only hinder your milk supply. And remember, as you know by now with your 5 year old - there is so much more to being a good mommy than breastfeeding.

I feel for you. I had the same problem with one of my sons. What ended up working great for me was using something called Domperidone. My lactation specialist recommended it and my gyno prescribed it to me. I took four capsules a day. When I pumped before taking Domperidone, I would get less than an ounce. After a few weeks of being on it, I was able to pump 4-6 oz. It was amazing. Also to start producing more, I would nurse and then pump right after for 10 min. I did this for weeks, but it all worked out in the end. If you still need to supplement, there is something called a SNS and you put formula into the bottle and put it around your neck. There is a tiny tube that you put into your baby's mouth while nursing and she will get both breast milk and formula at the same time. This saves you time and stimulates more milk production. After you milk is established when your baby is 6 weeks old, you don't have to continue with all of this craziness. This was a lot of work, but worked out great. If you have any questions email me and I will try to help you out the best I can.

How often are you feeding? With bf it is all about supply and demand. Feed whenever baby will take the breast and that means every hour during the day if necessary. That is the best way to increase your supply that I know of. Also you need to drink LOTS of fluids especially water. Try drinking a full glass each time you breast feed.

Hi C.,
Silly question, but have you increased the amount of water your drinking (approximately a gallon or more per day)? Many women do not drink near enough water (and are dehydrated)thus they are not producing enough milk.

Frustration and depression are not going to let your body relax long enough to make the milk that she needs. Give yourslef a break. Try some "Mother's Milk" tea, kick your feet up and latch that baby on. Let her go to town all day long if necessary. I wish I had taken my own advice when my son was born. Good luck!

Hi C.,

I was in your EXACT situation last year when my son was born. I remember feeling so disappointed, like I had done something wrong, like I was going to fail my son before his life really began... You are NOT a failure!

I took a supplement called Mother's Milk from Henry's. It has fenugreek, as well as other herbs. It was expensive, but it worked better than fenugreek alone. I also ate oatmeal for breakfast every morning. That seemed to help, too!

When my son was 2 weeks old, my mom, my grandma, and my aunt all told me that I had done my best, but that no one would judge me if I quit. They were so supportive, but I REALLY wanted to BF, so I kept going. Every time my son took a bottle, I timed it, and I immediately pumped for that long + 3 minutes. It was exhausting, and sometimes I pumped 10 times a day and got a grand total of 3 ounces, but by the time my son was 2 months old, I could almost go all day without supplementing! When I returned to work, my supply diminished quickly, but I was ultimately able to BF for 8 months.

Remember, even a little breast milk is better than no breast milk. My son got breast milk AND formula for his first 8 months, and he's healthy and happy-- and (finally!) so am I.

That being said, there IS a breaking point, where trying to BF becomes so stressful for you that it's not worth it. Formula is great! BF is great! Combine them, choose one, whatever you decide - you're a great mom, and no one can judge you for that.

Hope this helps!

Take a deep breath, calm down. You need to be relaaaaaaxed for breast milk to come. Are you eating enough? It takes 500 calories to make a days worth of breast milk, in addition to what you need for yourself. Some people are unable to lose weight while breastfeeding, so put losing weight on the back burner. Are you drinking enough? You should never feel thirsty. Drink a little bit all day long. And stay in bed for a weekend and do nothing but nurse on demand, read, sleep, or watch TV. Let someone else do all chores and answer all phones. This is what I learned from La Leche League when my boys were little. It also (the weekend in bed not burning calories) works for bringing back a milk supply that is drying up. I never had a lot of milk, (no spraying out of the opposoite side, no leaking), but it was enough. I have been told the pump only gets about half as much as the baby gets, so relax...Sounds like you are just too nervous to let down. Find a La Leche League representative near you. I think their advice is free. Good luck. Your body is made for this, it won't let you down. B.

C., I agree with the woman that said do both you and your baby a favor, buy a bottle, formula and don't worry. Sometimes you can do everything correctly and it just isn't going to happen. Don't let this worry you or your baby. Although breast feeding is great, this is why we can buy formula.. Don't be sad, just kiss your baby and snuggle when you feed her, believe me she won't know the difference... I have grown kids, five grandkids, and lots of nieces and nephews.. some were successful and some were not.. They are all great parents! Good Luck

I haven't read the other responses, but my words of advice are this:
Don't assume that you are ONLY making the amount of milk that you can pump out. No pump is as effective as your baby nursing.

I would recommend drinking TONS of liquids and staying at home for a day or two JUST nursing as much as possible.

Good luck.