Between a Rock and the Hard Place with daycare....need Your Opinion

Updated on September 19, 2011
A.R. asks from Worcester, MA
20 answers

last week i picked my daughter up from daycare....she was wearing a tanktop and shorts (believe me theres a reason to know what she was wearing) i was told she tripped and fell on sticks during a walk.....ok i think it happens all the time she has double jointed ankles practically and she cant control her balance ever....i get her in the car....her bottom eyelid is gashed open....her left shoulder is all scratched and bruised and her left chest area(above the shirt line) is the same cuts and bruises....but her legs and knees are fine???? i get her home and examine more....she has baby teeth marks all up her right arm....leading me to believe perhaps the children were playing unsupervised for a short period of time? i dont know all i do know is that a pile of sticks doesnt give you bite marks....
i take her to the doctors to find out that her eyelid is infected and that whatever cut her eye almost went through her eyelid which means it was way to close to her eyeball for comfort.....everything is healing well now though....

ps....i never got a phonecall during the day informing me of an accident or anything nor did anyone on her emergency contact list

we decided to take her out of daycare and give them a two week notice....because i signed a contract in the beginning saying that was protocol for leaving.....although i will not be sending her we are also responsible for paying those last two weeks....

am i being unreasonable with this? i know accidents happen but seriously????
and for piece of mind.... would you give the provider the two weeks paid notice if you were not sending your child??? or would you send her??? i already have givin the notice and do intend to pay because thats what i signed on but ive also had people telling me that i didnt sign that it was ok to not be notified and be lied to also....

basically...even though ive already kind of taken care of the situation i just want to know how other moms would've handled it

oh and ya....in the written notice i handed her this morning ....made a special trip there to do it.....my feelings and opinions were in the written notice and i had contacted her after the dr. apt also

ADDED: the bite marks are much smaller than her own there are 2 new children ages 6 and 9 mnths that just began there.....and when she sees biting she yells " EWWWW YOUR NASTY.....NASTY TEETH ON SKIN" lol....but i did size up her teeth to the teeth on her arm....thanks for thinking of that tho,..... :)

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So What Happened?

thanks guys forall your advice and insight on our situation....
yes we pulled her out
no im not paying the two weeks....and we found out that a family member of her father is opening a new home daycare so she is enrolled there part time to start next monday....
her eye is almost 100% now thank you all for your wishes and concern.....

oh yah i did ask her what happened...she says the teeth make her arm wet and nessa says she falls alot..... my little parrot lol

More Answers

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

You are absolutely right in what you are doing! You are the first and last line of defense between your daughter and the world, so if you feel uncomfortable or get the "heeby geebies" for any reason, follow your instincts.

She absolutely should have called you if she was hurt, and the teeth marks should have been documented.

I would even consider reporting a complaint if she is a licensed in home provider.

4 moms found this helpful

P.O.

answers from Tampa on

I would pay for one week and let the provider know why.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I would call your care provider and get more information about the accident. That kind of an accident warrants a trip to the Dr and therefore an incident report should be filed by your care provider to your licensing agency. Since she didn't even call you ( did she give a reason for not calling???). If what your provider is telling you doesn't add up, I think you should report the incident to licensing.

Depending on the information you gather, I would not send her back and I would not pay the last two weeks. Contract or not, your reason for withdrawing her immediately is because of an unsafe environment and neglectful care.

Kids do fall while playing, running, climbing etc... however it's a provider's obligation to call you immediately for an injury like the one you describe. It's not like the injury to her eyelid was in an area that she couldn't see and she didn't realize the severity of it.

If you do call the licensing agency they will file a report and come for a visit to your provider to investigate. If it was just and accident and she's caring for the kids responsibly they are likely to leave it at that. Where I live she would have to post a notice to parents about the incident as well.

Good Luck... I'm sorry this happened to your little one :(

3 moms found this helpful
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S.P.

answers from New York on

This is not Ok. You are right to remove her. The biting is not the issue (gamma g is right, happens in a blink of an eye), but it is standard practice, and legally required in NY, to fill out paperwork, inform you of the issue, etc. Not sure if it is required in Mass, but I would certainly believe so, even if there are no marks.

Don't just remove her, report them.

2 moms found this helpful
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M..

answers from Youngstown on

I would remove my child so fast their heads would spin! You should have been notified immediately if your child was injured. I don't think I would pay the last two weeks. I would tell them that they broke the contract first by not providing you the services they promised. They did not provide a safe place for your child, so therefor they broke the contract and you should not have to pay. I hope you find better care for your daughter, and I hope her injury heals fast. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you're doing the right thing. Yes-accidents happen but an injury near the eye like what you've described--not to mention the biting attack--was reason enough for a phone call, minimally!
I wouldn't send her, NOR would I have given notice OR paid for 2 additional (unused) weeks! Maybe that's the normal protocol for child care situations. I don't know.
Wouldn't negligence cancel out that financial responsibility?
You're a better woman than me!

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'd file a report or complaint with whatever organization you need to for Daycare issues like this.

1 mom found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

You are 100% right in what you are doing! Yes, kids are going to get hurt, but my kid almost losing an eye AND having bite marks is a bit much! ALL centers we have ever been in have had a policy to phone the parent if the child has ANY head injury during the day. So, they could bump their head on a book shelf and I would get a call saying they are fine, but they wanted me to be informed because it was on the head. Soooo, I would get a note from the doctors office noting the infection, tell the center that you SHOULD have been called and you are in NO WAY comfortable having your child there another day. Explain that you understand the policy is for you to give a 2 week notice, but YOUR policy was for them to take care of your child and to handle situations responsibly. They failed to meet those standards and you are removing her effective immediately and will NOT being paying anything more to them.

I would also report the incident to the State or maybe Better Business Bureau. As a parent, I want to know about any incidents that may have occurred at a center prior to enrolling my child there.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I would have been far less nice than you were. I have had 2 kids in a total of 2 daycare settings, 1 preschool, and 1 public elementary school. Not only did I get a written report of even the most minor incidents, I received calls during the day. "Just wanted to let you know...and everything is okay."

In your case, not getting that call is the worst part in my opinion. And I would agree with your instincts. They didn't see what happened and it took them a while to come up with a story. I might have called the county and filed a complaint with pictures of my daughter's injuries. And my fit would have included all sorts of threats about how they need to let me out of my contract.

So, yes, you did the right thing in my opioion.

1 mom found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I would probably send them the drs bills rather than the 2 weeks pay. Kids get hurt, and accidents happen. But something that serious should've been an automatic call to come pick her up to go to urgent care or they should've taken her to urgent care themselves. That eye needed to be tended to immediately. She could scar or it could've done unseen damage. I wouldn't give them another dime.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I would be taking pictures of what happened to her. Just in case you never know.

I would go in and have a conversation with the daycare owner. That is not right. Your daughter could have and ALMOST was seriously hurt! Her eye got infected. That is serious enough as is. I would go in firm and tell them all this and ask them how its possible to have something go almost through her eyelid and to her eye from "falling on a pile of sticks"??? It DOESNT thats why!

I would see what they have to say for themselves. They obviously arent keeping a close eye on the children and who knows what could happen.

I wouldnt pay them the full two weeks if it were me that is ridiculous. Does it say in the contract that you have to call a parent or guardian if ANY injury occurs? If it DOES then I would tell them I am not paying for two weeks. If they throw a fit and say that you signed a contract, I would simply tell them that yes you did but they also said they would call you.

Your daughter did not simply fall down, she has multiple injuries that are not just small scrapes. At the very most I would only pay them one week, cut my losses, they cut theirs.

Because honestly, they are lucky that you are not considering suing them!!

Glad your daughter is healing well, and I hope you find her a better daycare. I feel bad for the kids who have to stay there and the unknowing parents.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

As others mentioned, filing a complete with your state licensing folks (assuming you are in a licensed daycare home) and just give them a heads up if nothing else. At least anyone can gain access to that if they are attempting to secure services through this provider. Also, see if there is a history...again, this is going on the idea that they are licensed.

as far as the paying: if you signed a contract you are legally obligated to pay it. Just because she didn't follow protocol to a "t" doesn't mean you have the right to withhold your end of the agreement, like it or not. (Please note, not trying to be harsh, just protecting you in case she decides to go "Legal ' on you!)

I also agree that things happen at day care centers which we, as adults and parents, can never really imagine how that possibly could've happened. I think that this provider absolutely should have given a call with a heads up so you are not alarmed when you pick up your child. I have picked up my child in a different shirt and I go "Twenty Questions" on her like I am so NYPD! :o)

Hang in there KR5318 and know you are doing the best you can for your child! That is what is most important anyway!

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Kids bite and it happens so fast no one can predict it happening. They could have been changing someones clothes or serving the meal. It happens too often. It's not a big deal. I would ask specifically what happened. They may be able to tell you just how the accident happened. They could be telling the truth.

I never called parents if their child got hurt unless I felt it needed a physicians attention. The parents are at work and do not need to be called for every bump and bruise. Of course it turned out to be a bit more than that but still, it does not sound like something I would have called a parent about. They told you she got some injuries when you picked her up and to me that is enough. I would have kept an eye on it like you did. They need to explain how the fall occured. It could have been an accident and it could have been neglect.

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

This is going to sound strange but what direction are the bite marks? You can usually tell which are the top teeth and which are the bottom. I am just wondering if they were self inflected. If the top teeth are outward then it is self inflected no one gets on your lap and bites you, ya know? When I was a kid and in pain I bit on my arm especially if someone was trying to clean wounds. What can I say it made the pain feel less. Also if you are walking quickly and trip it can send you flying, what you land on looks far worse than the rest. I have four kids and have seen some pretty spectacular falls. Some with the end result as you described.

I guess I am saying it could have happened as they described. Take that for what it is worth in your decision. If I really believed they lied I would not send my child back to a daycare.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would be upset. When my child bit someone, there was a report and I knew at pick up she'd done it. No report means no one noticed bite marks and if they were still there when you picked her up that wasn't a minor incident. Children bite and get bitten. But you should know when your child is bitten! Also, if she was that banged up, they should have at least had a report to hand you or called you. If there was neglect on their end, I would have taken her out and pushed for no notice/no payment due to the child's injuries. You have to weigh that with if you think they would sue you for the payment.

Did they have anything at all to say for themselves?

1 mom found this helpful
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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh I am sorry yout daughter got hurt. But I think you are doing the right thing. Accidents happen but the way the daycare has dealt with this whole incident is totally unacceptable.

1 mom found this helpful

B.F.

answers from Toledo on

I agree take pictures, and talk to the admin of the school. That was not a fall on sticks.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

I think you're doing the right thing by taking her out. If your contract stated anything about them calling or at least sending home an incident report then I would fight on paying the 2 weeks also. You could claim breach of contract since they didn't even let you know. Did you already pay them? The eye injury sounds a little serious and I think you should have been notified about that at least. When my son was in daycare they would send home an incident report if something wasn't serious enough to call about.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Lake Charles on

The first thing I would have done was contact the director then report them to the state. This is BEYOND ridiculous. I would have WENT OFF as soon as I saw that it had nothing to do with falling on sticks, they didn't call you to report it to you because they were trying to cover their @sses. I HOPE you took pictures and maybe even got a copy of the doctors notes.. Did you try to ask your daughter what happened? If she can say "Eeew you're nasty, nasty teeth on skin" then surely she can express what really happened?

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I would have done the same thing (as far as pulling her out). You did say you gave them a written notice. Did you talk to the teacher(s) again? Maybe one was there and before she fell she did get bitten? I would have thought there should have been an incident report for that, as well. I would have been upset if my child was that scratched up (especially her eye) and they didn't call. I really loved our previous daycare, so maybe if this happened once, I would give them another chance, but I'm not sure because I would have been very upset about them not calling. I would still pay the two weeks because you signed up saying you would (even if you don't take her). I know that sounds contradictory (because I said I'd pull my kid out then said I'd give them a second chance..LOL).

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