We moved from east to west coast 3 years ago to a town that is kind of far away from where all the tech jobs are. We like the area, but want to move closer to where the jobs are, and where we want to eventually settle & buy a house for the long haul. Now hubby has switched jobs and his commute went up to 80miles a day, and is taking a toll on him (all of us, really).
We just don't know what to do, and I need some advice, and additional perspectives... It seems like the pro's & con's are 50/50. Would it be better to move our children now, when they're going into 4th grade and preschool, or when they're between 7th & 10 grade for the older, and kindergarten & 3rd grade for the younger?
My opinion would be to move them when they are younger then they can be settled in for the long haul at school.
My best friend moved away between 10th and 11th grade and it was the hardest thing for both of us...I mean who wants to have to change high schools if you don't have to...
If you have the option then move to the area where you want to eventually buy as soon as you can. It is less disruptive to move younger kids than teenagers. Plus if you already know their friends in middle and high school you can keeps better tabs on what they are doing socially when they are of an age when a lot of teens try risky things.
OMG-without a doubt you need to move now! If you wait until they are older they will have seriously solidified friendships and you will have a HUGE fight on your hands. It will be worlds easier to move a fourth grader. Plus-your kids need your husband around NOW and all the time commuting could be time spent with them. I don't see any pros here..you only mentioned cons. But I serioulsy cannot think of a pro that would outweigh the cons,
DO NOT move a highschooler!!!
It is so much easier to move when they are younger. Any age except high school.
I have 4 kids, we have moved 7 times thanks to the Marine Corps.
The hardest moves were this last summer, my daughter just started her junior year . And the one previous, my son was starting his senior year. Both my kids have had some hard times, and they are used to packing up and moving. If you never move, then move when your oldest is in high school you are setting her up for failure.
Please consider when the best time will be. Any time before she is in 7th or 8th grade. This gives her a year so to adjust and make friends before highschool.
If you have the finances and all looks right do it now.
As others have said it sucks to move kids in junior high and high school. I know we stayed in Europe for one to graduate high school and then moved and stayed in another town for the other to graduate (came when she was in junior high).
Besides you know the area you want to be in and have a chance to make the decision without being rushed. And hubby won't have the long commute and all will be happy.
Good luck on your upcoming move.
The other S.
Now. Think of all the time and money you'll save in gas/commuting costs.
Move now....really hard to move schools as you get older!
Good luck finding the perfect place for your family!!
Move the kids when they will have less trauma of leaving friends and the change less likely to have an effect on them.
If the area where you want to move closer to the job is kid friendly and school district friendly, then consider making the move.
If the commute is the problem and your hubby has a decent job already, then maybe he can carpool or something else. Otherwise, it might just be one of those sacrifices either of you have to make.
Uproot the entire family and all be miserable or one person be miserable and have a good job to finance all the family. It could also work out for your good if you get both a closer place that is kid friendly. Then everyone wins. Only you can determine what is best.
Now.
Middle school moves are torture (middleschoolers are cannibals), and Highschool moves are reeeeeally hard (speaking as a former navy brat).
Now!! It'll be a nonevent for your youngest and much easier most likely on your older one than later. 7th -10th grade can be tough socially in the best of circumstances nevermind having to move. Having said that, it depends a bit on the child. We moved when my sister was going into 10th grade and she did fantastically. But - she's super pretty, personable, outgoing etc. Other mothers told mine how surprising it was how well she did socially which indicates it's pretty h*** o* most kids... And no need to move your youngest when he/she will have started making the friendships your oldest now has. And why have your husband commute more than he has to? School is ending, it's a great time to move. And if you're thinking more East Bay, I know prices there are attractive now.
If everything is coming out 50/50 and the children's school is the deciding point... I would not recommend moving a child once they start high school. High school is bad enough without having to say goodbye to old friends and make new owns, learn the rules of a new school etc.
We don't know everything that is going into consideration while your making this decission, but overall it seems like a move now might be what's best.
My advice is to move now. As a teacher I think it is better to move children when they are in the elementary grades rather than middle or high school. They have friendships but I think it can be easier to make new friendships at the younger ages.
Not sure why you would not move now:)
Do it now before they get involved in sports and before cliques form in jr high and high school. Once you have a 10th grader you will think...well, lets let him graduate with his class, and then, well, johhny was a Warrior and Jack wants to be a Warrior like his big brother, so lets let him graduate here too, it never ends. The commute sucks now. Your husband is stressed now. Why wait.
Yet another for NOW!
NOW! I moved a year and a 1/2 ago and my daughter was in the middle of 7th grade it took her a FULL year to feel comfortable now she has a best friend & is really happy but I know it was hard for her. I have a 10 yr old and a 7 year old also and they still like somethings about their old school better and sometime complain. My high school son flat out refussed to move- lots of other things involved (divorce etc) but move while they are young !!!!!
As for the ages of the children, definitely better to do it now. Once they are in Jr. High and High school, it's much more difficult for them to leave their friends and re-adjust.
As for the housing market... well... .one can only guess. I hope that in two to three years that will have stablilized to make buying better. But if you are planning to rent for a while first that probably isn't an issue either.
I would move now. Putting strain on home life will effect them more long term than moving a school will.
Another vote for now :)
