6 answers

Best Time to Have Second Child

I was wondering if anyone has any advice/opinions about when the best time is to have a second child. Our daughter is a year old and we know we want the children to be close in age. Maybe 18 mo-2 years apart. Does anyone have any suggestions about this. I am looking for all pros and cons about having children close in age. Thank you for your advice!
N.

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I have 4 children ages 9,8,7,3. I never made it to a first birthday without being pregnant. So when to have a second child and what is best depends on your situation. It is really hard having them so close. In the beginning I had 3 in diapers, bought triplicate of almost everything because they are all into the same stuff at the same time, and as soon as one was out of a stage the next one was going in. Now that they are older they fight among themselves alot because they all want their own stuff and space. They do have days where I don't even know that they are around because they entertain each other - but this is not a common thing!
My 4th child is 3 years apart from #3 and it is perfect! There is no fighting between them, they play well together, they help each other. I wish I would have spaced them out a little more in the beginning. The other thing is that my kids fall in the order of boy, girl, boy and girl. My girls get together great and the boy do too. Mix them up and then the fun begins!!!
Overall, I do think about 2 - 3 years is the best between them but you have to do what is best for your family and lifestyle.

I have two boys, 19 mths apart. While it's hard for a while, I would definitely recommend it. I think right in the 2ish - 3ish yr range is good. I had very little jealousy issues or adjustments, since my oldest wasn't as 'used' to being the ONLY.

Hi N....

For us, we decided to wait to start trying to have a second child when our son is about 26 months. (Our son is 14 months old right now). I want our children to be 3 years apart for selfish reasons :-) I want my son to be potty trained by the time a new baby comes so that I have only 1 butt to change and one size diapers to buy. I want my son to be a bit more independent...to be able to talk to me and tell me what he needs or wants. I don't want to buy a double stroller. Hopefully, when my son is 3, he will be able to walk everywhere and not get too tired easily. I want my son to be able to help me with the new baby...go get a diaper for me, put the pacifier in the baby's mouth, etc. (just small jobs). I want my son to also be 3 so that we can put him in preschool a couple of days a week so that I will have bonding time with the new baby. (I'm a SAHM too). Hope this helps...gotta go...my son is begging for attention :-)
A.

hi, my name is jena nd the mother of two. i have a daughter 4yrs., and a son who just turned 3yrs. two weeks ago. they are 15 1/2 months apart. they get along as well as any siblings regaurdless of how far apart they are. i believe that the closer the better. they will always have someone to play with and the older one won't look at the baby as a baby, as an older child would. i see that happening with my girlfriend who has 3 kids but the first two are almost 4 yrs. apart and the oldest feels left out. always take into consideration the feelings of the older child and make sure that the child knows that you are having another. make them feel apart of all the action and they will less likely be "aggressive" or hateful to the new addition. but ultimately the discision is yours. good luck.

Dear N.,

I have 3 young children. My daughter is 5 1/2, my son is 14 monthes younger (she was 5 monthes old when I got pregnant with him!), and my third child came 23 monthes after him. Although it can be CRAZY I have loved every minute of it. They fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but then when I see them or hear them playing so nice together it still to this day warms my heart. They are each others best friends. Now not to say that siblings further apart can't be that close, but when they are that close they seem to have more in common. This coming year my daughter will be in kindergarten, my son in his second year of preschool. The year after she will be in first, he in kindergarten, and my youngest in preschool. It just flows so well! And you don't forget what you've learned from the previous!

Good luck in which ever way you choose to go, either way, having two is awesome! Hope this has given you a little insight.

K.

My girls are 18 months apart, but still pretty young 3 and 1.5. For the most part they get along, but have sibling rivalry like most. Being in baby mode was easier too, because I was used to the lack of sleep, carrying a diaper bag and all that fun stuff already. I hear when they get older they will probably be close, so hopefully that is the case.

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