Best Advice on the Eve of Having a Second Child

Baby sling is a must I think...I used the pouch sling I like the most because I could literally fold it and put it in my pocket when not using it! Very very convenient!

My kids 22 months apart I let the older one help out as much as possible because she loved being a helper. Getting diapers, wipes, bottles, toy, etc...

He will act out when his new brother comes home just remember that just like us they are stressed and having to get use to a new way of life so it is to be expected. As adults we can cry throw things yell...toddlers throw tantrums. Our daughter was over them in about a week.

Also don't forget to schedule that much needed one on one time with your older son even if it is just 20 minutes a day it really helps.

Oh and don't stress to much over the two in diapers... whats an extra 2-3 diapers a day when you are already changing 20 for the newborn; right!!!!
Best of luck and congrats on the new addition to come.

2 moms found this helpful

My boys are three years apart, but my last boy and his sister are two years, so a little different, but my advice has nothing to do with gender. My best advice that I give anyone having more than one is make sure that the oldest feels just as important. I know that at times it will be hard. Your feeding baby and older boy wants a-t-t-e-n-t-i-o-n. I started to notice my oldest acting out a lot and so I realized (especially with boys) that meant he was getting jealous! So I would say and do things like, "how about when I A. done lets read a book(or read while you are feeding), son why don't you go find the book." or "how about when I A. done, you can hold baby" Boys, especially, like to hold babies but not too long(short attention spans). Give him that satisfaction of being the older, bigger brother. Have him get diapers or wipes or anything associated with baby and helping. Boys thrive on encouraging words! Allow the boys to become friends. At 12mo. when my younger son wasn't feeding as much we put the boys together in a room. Eventually my youngest saw my oldest not in a crib and wanted to sleep in the "BIG" bed with brother. They slept in the same bed until they started to hit feet at night then they moved to sep. beds , but same room. All that to say, they have their moments, but they are the best of friends now. I also have seen, in some of my friends kids, the opposite. Mom constantly pushes older child away while dealing with baby and jealousy has come in big time. Really sad to me, because mom could have prevented it. Hope that encourages you in bringing up a healthy strong family!

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I'm still only mom to one, but working with new families every day, I can say this: Keep a list on the fridge of things that need to be done, so when guests ask, "What can I do to help?" you can just send them to the list. Also, enlist your partner to take the baby and toddler for an hour or two at least once per week so you can have YOU time to nap or take a bubble bath or read a book.

Also, I really love soft structured carriers like the Ergo. http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/ They allow you to wear your toddler on your back *comfortably.* I have a similar carrier (made here locally once upon a time) and I love that I can put my 2 year old on my back and cook dinner. He doesn't need to scream @ me for attention AND he's safe away from the stove. I think that would definitely be handy for your toddler when you are also going to be tending to a newborn.

My mother had four kids -- the last three within just sixteen months of each other (twin boys adopted at six months old, and then she gave birth to a daughter when the boys were just 22 months old). The first couple of years are very hectic, but then she says it was so great having kids close in age because they play *together* instead of hanging on her all the time. So hang in there. :)

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Have your oldest son "help" you out, and take on the big brother role. (Get diapers for you, help with changing, bottles, blankets, etc.)

Put a step stool up to the changing table so he can stand next to you and "help" or watch you change the baby's diapers and clothes.

I made up a "big-brother-bag" for my son to open up at the hospital after my second child was born. It included things for him to help me with the new baby and new things just for him.

Keep them on schedule/routine. It helps everyone when things are in a routine.

Find a little moment for yourself each day. :)

This age gap is wonderful as they grow older. I have four children spaced out two years apart for the first two and again for the second two. They are great friends, great siblings, play well together, look out for eachother, etc.

1 mom found this helpful

my boys are 20 months apart. First, we told the big brother even before we brought #2 home was that it was HIS baby. Since it was his baby, we taught him how to take extra special care of little brother. He never was rough or mean to the infant because he was treating his baby with extra special care. Also, when I breastfed #2, I always got some books before I started, to read to #1 while the baby ate. We also colored or I drew pictures of whatever #1 wanted me to. That way, nursing was a special time for both of them because they both got really good attention from me because I wasn't going anywhere (I didn't answer the phone unless I was expecting an important call, etc). #1 never saw nursing as time away from him, it was actually time FOR him. Thus, he never resented #2. Also, as they got older, (they are now 9 and 7) they were NEVER allowed to hit each other. I'm not talking about the hitting stage (which is not ok either), I'm talking about ever. They were and are punished or have priviledges taken away if they do. It happens very infrequently in our house. I have to say, they cannot be closer. They rarely ask for playdates because their best friend lives in the same house. My little one had to write a letter to his best friend in school and he wrote it to his big brother which was just about the sweetest thing going. The first few years are tough because of all the diapers, etc but I wouldn't change a thing even if I could. Good Luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello! I have two little boys who are 3 and 1 now. They are 2 years 2 weeks apart.
My oldest was still in diapers when his brother was born. My advice to you on that issue is to NOT rush into potty training! I guess I would say to get used to changing TWO! I made sure my oldest was ready to potty train before we started. You of course will be ready much sooner than your son to start potty training, but wait! Get him a potty and let him use it on his own time. When he's ready and he's used to having the new baby at home, then it will be time. (My oldest was 29 months when he was potty trained and it only took 3 days!)
Make sure you give your oldest some of your time. A new baby will take up a lot of your time, especially at first. Don't feel guilty about it. That's just the way it is, but find something that the two of you can do while baby sleeps. Like reading a book together or even laying down together watching a movie so you can rest.
You have so much fun in store for you. Having boys is an awesome thing! Your heart will melt the first time your oldest makes the baby squeal with laughter . . . it's something only an older brother could do to be funny!
Just wait for the first time they start play wrestling (once baby gets bigger of course!) and you think your baby has got to be hurt, but no, he's laughing like crazy and loving every minute of it.
Boys definitely hold a special place in their mother's hearts. Congratulations and enjoy your little boys!

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When reading about you, it seemed like I was reading my own biography! I have 2 little ones 19 mos. apart. My son is VERY active and my daughter has been an angel(thank goodness!) My son turned 2 last week and my daughter is 5 mos.old. One thing that I read and have really tried to follow is that if they are both fussy or crying at the same time, attend to the older child first. At first it sounded weird, but if you think about it, it makes sense. The older one is more likely to remember being second fiddle, and may be more likely to lash out or act out, if jealous. The baby will not associate the same feelings for a while. I A. hoping that your son will enjoy some of the responsibilities that come along with being a big brother! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My son was 30 months old when his baby brother was born. I was 35(!) Now that they are both in high school, my only advice is LOVE EVERY MOMENT of it, as it goes way too fast. Cherish the tiny special moments even as you are exhausted and feeling run over by the domestic machine. I would give anything to see those tiny boys again. Now they are independent and don't think they need a mom, though I know better.....
Just love them up, while keeping a firm sense of who's in charge.
Best of luck for some wonderful years!

1 mom found this helpful

My daughters are 15 months apart. Here is the best advice I have: Remember, you can do anything when you have to. It is really hard at first, but with every milestone the younger one reaches it will get exponentially easier. You will be amazed as you learn to hold a newborn in one arm and snuggle the toddler in the other arm and read a story by holding the book out and turning with your thumbs. And you will be able to do much more that you won't think of now.

The best advice I recieved is that if both kids need something and are fussing - try to help the older one first when you can. He will notice if the baby gets priority, but the baby won't know the difference.

BTW, my kids are 4 and 3 now.. they love each other like crazy and I wouldn't change a thing by how close in age they are.

1 mom found this helpful

we've got 2 boys... 3.5 and 2... who are exactly 17.5 months apart (but who's counting:) i remember those early weeks/months... there was a morning in particular when they both needed changing in the worst way at the same time... the youngest one making more noise so i had to start with him... and poop being everywhere and i just started laughing... it was a crazy moment but a funny one... you will have those moments/mornings/days where you have to try to find some humor... laughing certainly made those times much more bearable... you will be in demand a lot... and i try to remind myself how lucky i A. that they both need/want to be with me... ok maybe that's more than one piece of advice... so i'll just add that we loved our jane double stroller too :) good luck!

#1- PRAY A LOT! My son was 19 months when we had our second son. I wanted them to be friends so badly. I prayed that my first son wouldn't have the jealosy problems. He didn't. He was afraid that I wasn't HIS mom anymore. The only problems we had were with bedtime. The baby was always crying and "intruding" on our nighttime routine. I had to go back and hold my toddler after feeding the baby a few times.
#2- Make a note of when you change each of their diapers. It was hard for me to remember which diaper I had changed when. A couple of times I felt like a BAD mom when letting one of them get too full.
God bless your family!
Note: My sons are 2 and 3 now, and very good friends. (They fight and play like brothers.) :)

A.,
We have two boys also. They are exactly 2yrs 7mos apart. It's easier to tell people 3yrs because of their birthdays. I didn't like the thought of two diapers either. We managed to make it through. It wasn't bad at all. They didn't soil at the same time and our oldest didn't have as many dirty diapers as the baby did. Our boys are so different and I feel that that made it easy for me. My husband took care of our youngest when he came home from work because their bond was so strong from birth. He is now 5yrs and they still have a strong bond. He would choose his dad over me any day. It doesn't make me feel bad at all. I'm so excited that he loves his daddy so much.
Having two boys can be challenging, but all kids are different. Try not to worry about what hasn't come up yet and focus of being healthy and enjoying your oldest son right now while it's still him and you.

Take care,
A.

You have received some already great advice.
As a mother of boys who were 16 months apart and then this new one making a debut 30 months after the middle child, there are a few things that come to mind....

1) There will never be enough time in a day to get everything done. Just take a lot of deep breathes and cherish the sane and happy moments. And of course prioritize.

2) Make personal time for just you and your older child. Even if it is just coloring while the baby is sleeping, it will reassure him of your love.

3) Two words: Joovy Caboose! It is the sit and stand stroller and has worked wonders for us! Lets face it no toddler wants to be strapped down in a stroller.

4) They will fight and not like each other occasionally... but then there are times when they will cuddle and absolutely adore each other. Just accept that they know deep down, as well as we moms do, that they love each other. Even when baby takes and chews on the train brother just colored, which resulted in him tearing it away and a meltdown for both. :-)

Good Luck!

My girls are 20 months apart and I found that having a ring sling and a wrap (the Moby wrap is a good one for newborns-close to a year and it's very reasonably priced for as often as I use it!) helped the most. I was able to wear my younger comfortably and still play and help (and chase) my older!

The ring sling is great for nursing discreetly while walking around or eating dinner and the wrap is so incredibly versatile that I can't even adequately express how useful it is! For more information about baby-wearing please check out:

http://www.thebabywearer.com

They have forums and you can ask any questions you want about carriers. Everyone has different reasons for preferring different carriers so it's good to talk to many people about it. Baby-wearing keeps the little one happy while you're still hands free to do things around the house or with the older :) Mamas in other cultures are very wise to wear their babies and I'm so glad that I was able to learn from their example. It made a huge difference.

Best wishes with your two boys!
~B.

Join the MOMS Club.:) It is the only club strictly for stay at home moms. It has been invaluable to me. Even if it is not the MOMS Club, it is so important to have a group of women who can support you during the day. I have two boys that are 2 years 9months apart.

K.:)

My children are 18 months apart and it has been interesting, particularly with my oldest having autism. The one thing I could tell you that I wish I had figured out earlier is this - ask for help. I don't know what your family dynamic is, but is grandma/ a sister/ friends/ whatever can come over and smooth things out for a couple hours, by all means let them. You are not less of a mom for getting a little assistance, and it will help with your sanity.

My best advice is there is light at the end of the tunnel! My boys were almost 2 years apart and it is tiring to change 2 kids in diapers! Days can seem so slow but the years fly by so just sit on the floor and enjoy them. I wish I had done it more just like every Mom. My boys are almost 5 and 7 now and they are really great. They even have a 7 month old sister! Good luck and get some sleep now :)

Somewhere I read this about your same situation (mine too, I have 2 boys 18 months apart), I didn't think much of it at first but have come to really appreciate the advice.

If they are both crying or fussing(and of course not hurt) answer the call of the older one first. He will need the extra support and attention in this transition time and the baby will never remember that you took an extra minute to get to him.

Also putting extra diaper and supplies where YOU spend the most time so you are not running back to the baby room or to a changing table somewhere. (stash a couple in the older childs room too)

Good Luck!

Oh and if you can afford it, I found mine on craigslist an ERGO, it's a baby carrier and it is great. I have tried many and this one does not hurt your back. I can wear it with my baby all day and my back does not hurt. And my littlest was 11.5 pounds at birth!

I have 2 boys. They are 4 years apart, so my experience won't be a perfect match to yours, but I think the challenges are pretty similar.

In all honesty, the first few weeks are hard. But they are also full of love. I'd say the most important thing is to keep your expectations in check. The older boy will probably misbehave and compete for your attention. Trying to involve him with "helping" should help out with that a lot.

Keep in mind that they are different children. I was really unprepared for how different my boys would be at... everything! From the very beginning!

Don't fear for the "lack of love." You will never feel like there isn't enough love. Sometimes there isn't enough time or enough hands... but love, you'll have plenty.

Well, I have 2 girls that are 2 years apart, but I thought I would give you a piece of advice anyway! My one thing to offer would be that even when you are tired....especially when your infant is napping... to make sure to play with your older son, make him feel special. Maybe develop something you guys can do together that is a fun mother son thing between just the two of you. This will help tons down the road as baby gets older, and will help your older one feel like he's still an important part of the family, even though your time is split between two. Good luck to you...having two is great fun, and will be so great when they can play together down the road!

Raising boys is a joy. I found that fewer words and direct statements with a lowered tone of voice (deeper, not softer) work the best for the boys.
Try not to end direction statements with a question like, "okay?"
So, instead of "Sam, it's time to pick up your toys now, okay?"
Say, "Sam, it is time to put your toys in the box." Voice firm but kind...

It will all work :) times may be crazy busy. After my second was born if I had a major shopping list to do like more than a half hour. I would either e-mail the list to my husband while he was at work so he could stop on his way home from work. Or I would use a albertson online and for 10dollar they deliever to your home. At first I had simple goals like take my older child to a little gym class.. shower for the day and keep up with the laundry.
congrats and best of luck,
L.

Hello,
I A. a mom of 3 kids - all 2 years apart. My first two were boys and our third (suprise baby) was a girl. My suggestions would be:
-Include your kids with what you're doing.
-Stay patient.
-Stay organized.

Enjoy every minute. It goes by way too fast. Good luck with your soon to be baby #2!

How exciting! I'm very happy for you! Children are such a blessing for sure! My son was 21 months when my daughter was born. Although we are still working with each other (and always will be) the biggest advice I can give you is patience and forgiveness! Be patient with yourself and your babies (especially your toddler) It's a big adjustment for both of you and you will probably both be "acting out". So just take a deep breath and remember that the dishes and laundry will be there next week but you'll never get this time back with your babies. And, forgiveness is important for all of you as well. Forgive your toddler for acting out as this is all new for him and he is learning along with you how to welcome a new baby. : ) hope this helps!

Love,
J.

I don't really have any product ideas but my kids are 2 years apart so I had both in diapers at the same time as well. Once the new baby comes its not as hard as you think it will be. I would just put them both on the bed and do diapers at the same time, like an assemble line. My husband was also deployed at this time so I did it all alone. Keep your thoughts positive and it will all fall into place.

A.,

I have two that are 3 1/2 years apart, and had two in diapers at the same time. Yes, it was expensive, yes it was a headache on the wallet. I have one of each, but my daughter routinely beats up her brother and she's not even 2 yet.

One thing that really helped us was to have my son throw away the diapers from the baby. That way he felt like he was helping, and he got praise for being a big boy, being able to do something the baby couldn't. Now that the baby is 17 months (in her two's already) they fight over who gets to throw away the dirty diaper. **sigh**

Something else that helped was to keep him involved in the pregnancy. He went to as many prenatal visits as we could manage (didn't like the ultrasound one though, had nightmares afterward). At the visits he got to squirt the gel on Mommy, help find the heartbeat and help measure how big Mommy was getting. His face just melted the first time he heard her heartbeat. The first words out of his mouth in the hospital were: Can I hold my baby sister now? He adores her, and is her idol.

At that first visit to meet his little sister in the hospital he got a special present from the baby. The hospital also has goody bags for the big brother too.

Hope this helps,
M.

I have 2 boys (now nearly 2 and 4 1/2) and when the second came along someone gave me the advice of having a special box with toys for the oldest to play with when I was occupied nursing the baby. I also found it helpful to have any snacks or drinks set up before I sat down to nurse... it was inevitable the toddler would want something while I was nursing.
I had to remind myself that my older son was still just a little guy and didn't understand why the world didn't revolve around him anymore...luckily he transitioned well and is very sweet with his brother.
Good luck, they will grow up to be good friends and playmates.

I have three girls, 9, 2 & 1/2, and 3 months. What helps me: a written, strict schedual, getting up early, before at least the two oldest, and my Moby wrap. Google it, you'll love them.

Hi A. D-

I have 2 boys 21 months apart, they are 9 and almost 11 now. I remember how much work it was for me when they were very little. I do remember that every day I tried to get them to nap at the same time. At least some of their nap time overlapped. Then I would also rest. It was hard to rest when the house needed cleaning or dishes needed to be done. But, I remember feeling so much better after having rested and being able to play with them then having a clean house.
I hope you enjoy your two boys as much as I have. Now they are pretty good friends and play together often!
Annemarie

Two of my boys are 25 months apart. I never treated one over the other and view all my kids as part of a team. They all have my attention, and I hear their opinions.

I've observed many mothers and friends who are mothers, and the big difference I see is that some see being a mom as a "hobby" and have the kids fit around their need for the computer, social and tv time. I've found the happiest kids, and sanest moms, are those families that view motherhood as a full contact sport. Have FUN with it!!! =)

I have two boys now 12 and 10 and one girl - 7. My advice is to realize that there really is a difference between girls and boys, and that difference is amplified by two boys close together. Don't look at other people's little girls quietly and contently sitting and coloring while your boys are on the floor wrestling and think you are doing something wrong. It's ok that boys need lots of space and activity and dirt. Allow yourself to be a mother for boys. I love being a mom to my little girl but it is totally different than being a mom to my boys. I cherish both parts of my life.

!. Go with the flow, relax, get your husband involved as much as you can,
2. Don't try to hurry up and toilet train the oldest. Let that happen naturally.
3. Get diaper service!
4. Plan on being busy for the next two years, and then enjoy your boys. They will be grown before you know it.

Don´t try and take on too much at each given time, meaning don´t potty train with a brand new baby! Let things come to you. I have one of each 21mos. apart. The diapers are actually pretty handy compare to the public potties when you have a new born to feed and so on.

Good luck and congratulations!
H

Stay calm and know that is will pass soon so enjoy and so not get caught up. Good luck it is not as bad as what you think. Mykids are 19 month apart it was hectic but was fine. Just enjoy them

Pray. I was telling someone today, I'm really good at praying when I don't know what to do or say...but I'm learning that praying even when I do know what to do or say is just as valuable. Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian is a wonderful asset and I purpose to give it to any new (or not so new) mother I know.

When I had one child, I was always available to help him and give him attention at the drop of a hat (or spoon). So when I went to two, I learned that he can wait and he won't be emotionally scarred because of it.

As scary as it seems, everything works out. My first two are exactly 2 years apart. The first few months, my son slept a lot, so I made sure I spent time laying down on the couch with my older daughter. We would lay and watch Dora or Mickey Mouse. I know TV is not the best advice for everyone. She also learned to play computer games. The best and easiest thing I did was get a diaper changer that was high. It was a simple folding one that I put a sheep skin rug on top. I was able to stand at the end of my pregnancy with ease and then change them easily afterwards. My son spent time in the swing and rocker while my older played and danced. It's a great age space because the older doesn't need to go as many places to be entertained yet. Good Luck. I know it will be great.

I have two children, both girls, 19 months apart. When my second daughter was born I totally panicked about how I was going to do, well, anything! It seemed overwhelming especially when the second one was just born. My mom was just very practical about her advice... she told me that women all over the world manage to get through their days with the same situation and that I was just as capable as they were so she was confident I would be just fine. At the time I didn't think it was particularly helpful in terms of advice, but it did help me knowing that of course I A. not alone in doing this.

It does help to have a "schedule" in mind. I'm not sure about the strict schedule thing, as with a newborn sometimes you just have to go with what seems right at the time. And take each moment one at a time. It is nice to have an overall plan for the day, but it helps to break it down into smaller more do-able peices. "Right now, I'm just going to worry about getting the kids up, dressed, fed, and ready for the day" and maybe even have a time in mind that you want to have all that done by. Then worry about what to do next. Over time whatever schedule you have set up will change anyway as the needs of the kids change.

Also, if you need to be somewhere at a specific time you may want to start getting ready maybe even 30 minutes before you need to leave. Make sure you have the diaper bag ready, and give yourself that extra time to do emergency diaper changes (my daughters always seemed to get dirty diapers just when I wanted to walk out the door... so frustrating when I was in a hurry). However, if you are late most people totally understand why so it isn't a huge issue.

My older daughter was not really old enough to understand what was going on. Of course she knew mommy's tummy was getting bigger and there was all this talk of a "baby", but she didn't really understand what that meant for her until her sister actually came home. And then she seemed to get really frustrated a lot when my attention had to be on the baby. She acted out the most when I was feeding the baby since I couldn't really get up and do things with her. I tried to make sure that she had a snack avaialbe to her while I was feeding the baby so she didn't feel left out that way, and then would play relaxing music and make sure she had toys and things available to her in the room I was in to play with.

I honestly don't remember much else that may be helful at this time other than a double stroller was irreplaceable in terms of usefullness, so definetly invest in one. It is even better if one seat lays back so the baby can nap while the other sits up. Also, give yourself some slack and accept that everything doesn't need to be perfect. I had to learn to let some things go, mentally speaking, and accept that maybe some housework would not get done exactly when and how I wanted it, or that sometimes you may not get everything done you had hoped to that day. Let it go. You have enough on your plate with the just the kids.

You will get through it. I used to tell people that sometimes I had to leave one of the kids crying while dealing with an issue, sometimes they were both crying, and heck, sometimes we were all crying together! There will be frustrating moments and great fun moments and many in between.

You will be tired a lot, but will get through. And I understand that boys are more active than girls so you may encounter issues I didn't have to deal with. This is an exciting time for you, congratulations on the upcoming birth. Take advantage of any opportunity you have now and later to get some rest in. I also really like the idea someone else had about having a list ready so that if someone asks what they can do you can just refer to the list.

I hope some of this is helpful for you! And I almost forgot to say that this is just momentary. It gets easier as they get older. There will be challenges but they are of a different sort. My daughters are now 4 and 5. It is a different world once they get past all that baby stuff. Enjoy the now, but know it gets easier.

J.

I feel you, two in diapers can be exhausting. I have a 26 month old, 12 month old today! and a baby on the way. Once my second was born I allowed my first, who was only 14 months, be a part of everything. I allowed her to hold the baby, watch me change her, I would let her help me rock her etc. This really helped so that she didn't feel left out and still just as important. So I never had the horror sibling problems that you sometimes hear about because she had no need to be jealous. I also tried to keep them on somewhat of the same schedule. This doesn't always work because usually newborns sleep all the time. But once my youngest got a little older and was more on a nap time routine I was able to lay them down at the same time. What a HUGE help because that meant I could finally have some time to myself. It's always a little tougher in the beginning making the adjustment from one to two, but now that mine are 1 and 2 they love playing together. I don't even have to entertain them now and it's great! So keep in mind having them close is a blessing in the long run! Hang in there you can do it! Oh...one more thing...don't make my mistake and try to potty train too early! I thought it would make things easier, but it didn't. Diapers are easier until the new baby is a little older.

I have a 23 month old and a 2 month old. Both boys. The only advice I have is to be easy on yourself (you just can't get everything done), expect some increased activity from the toddler, and set aside some mommy alone time with him. I give the baby to dad and sit down and sing songs with the toddler before he goes to bed. I make sure he knows he's really special. I also call the baby "Tristan's little brother" so he feels proud of him. He pretended not to see him for the first two weeks. Now he walks by and pats him on the head (supervised) occassionally, or offers him a cheese stick. Your in for some fun :)

My mom-in-law had 3 boys in 5 years (with the youngest 2 being 16 months apart). Her advice was always just to hang on... it gets better! She told me, when my two were young, that kindergarten makes the entire world better. I know that probably seems a long way off for you, but it really does go by fast. So when life is tough, hang on... it really will get better soon :)

Make certain to divert the attention that will be directed on your newborn to your oldest. The baby doesn't care about being the center of attention, but your oldest WILL feel left out. When people (friends, neighbors, strangers in the grocery store) come up and start cooing over the baby and asking if its a boy or girl and/or how old, etc. you should look directly at your oldest and say "Your Son's Name has a two week old baby brother."

This is a very polite and gentle way of focusing attention on your oldest. And I found that this gentle reminder was all it would take to get plenty of attention directed at MY oldest. He quickly began introducing his brothers as HIS babies.

Hi there,

My boys are 2 1/2 years apart, but they were both in diapers at the same time too. I kind of treated them like twins in a lot of ways. Baths together feeding lunch to the older one and then sitting down to nurse the little one. I think keeping them close to each other by fostering the kindness between them helped. Now they are 6 and 3 and I find that many times they need to get their aggression out on each other and that it really is okay for them. We have rules about it though. No hitting above the waist and they have to use the foam bat/sword things. The swim noodles work really well too. Before you know it they are laughing and then I'll sit down and read them a story. I usually make them sit right next to each other. I really think that me taking the time to train them on how to care about each other is what has kept them from having too much sibling rivalry. Good luck, boys are a whole different world than girls. We also have 9 year old and 1 year old girls.

Wellllll....... one day when I was in the ped.'s office, I overheard a European woman telling the Dr. that her BABY was already potty trained. The Dr. was intrigued and is now doing a study group. Since my son was already 2, it was too late to get in on it. Dang! Anyway, here's a link to an article and a web site:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/

If you try it, let us "Mamas" know how it went.

Include them both and spend time with each. Try not to compare them because inevitably they'll be completely opposite just to mix things up. Get two of everything. Exactly the same too, to avoid fights over who gets what. Love them and try to be patient. Books. Have special books for your oldest to read with you while you feed the baby. Messes happen and that's okay. Boys are so fun and I wish you luck and lots of energy, we are expecting our third boy soon and I realize I don't have much helpful advice to give, just trust yourself, you're their mom and you'll know them best of all. Have fun!-I guess that's the most important advise I can give.

My first little boy was 25 months old when my second little boy was born so I hear ya! My best advice is to get your oldest trained to dress himself and change his own pull up if he's not already potty trained. Especially if your breastfeeding, like me, you won't have the extra hands to help both at the same time until your second can sit up. The more you can get your first to try to help himself the better. And if it takes him 15 minutes to get his jammies on - great! That's 15 minutes he'll be occupied while you're breastfeeding, changning a diaper, etc. It's hectic, my husband and I feel like we are on a pit crew most nights - but it's so fun having two boys that close in age. Good luck!