50 answers

Belly Sleeping Infant - Need Advice!!!

My daughter is now 4 weeks old and she will not sleep on her back. After many, many nights of relentless crying, dozing, then waking up again screaming, I flipped her onto her stomach and ***ZONK*** lights out! She slept like a log for 3 hours straight. I have researched and understand the risk of SIDS with belly sleeping infants, but I need to know if I'm the only one who has experienced this!!! I don't want to be called a "bad mom" because I am putting her on her tummy, but I don't know what else to do. Every day I try her on her back, even after when she falls asleep in my arms, and she may sleep for at the most 10 minutes before waking up screaming. Swaddling, rocking, music, you name it, nothing can keep her in asleep on her back. Forget me even putting her in her crib on her back while she's awake! Even when she falls asleep on her tummy and I roll her to her back, she always wakes up. My fear of SIDS has been overridden at this point by us, and her, needing sleep. Has anyone else experienced this? I don't know what to do, I obviously don't want to jeopardize her health, but regardless of the sleep position, there is still a risk of SIDS. What do I do?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all so much for your honest advice. Being a first time mother is not easy, especially when you have so many opinions on what the best way is to raise your child! Yet I am realizing that being a mother does not mean that I have to “go by the book” in everything that I do with taking care of my daughter. After discussing this issue extensively with my husband, we both agreed that we would let her sleep on her tummy if that’s what she wants to do. She sleeps in a crib in the room with us (with no blankets or stuffed animals, just a crib sheet) and we feel like between the two of us, she is pretty well monitored throughout the night. Since last week, we have been letting her sleep on her tummy and she is sleeping so much better, it’s actually still hard for us to believe. We thought at one point we had a colic-y baby, but I think it was her sleep position that was causing her so much distress! At her next ped appointment we are going to talk to our doctor about this and get his opinion on the subject, but what’s most important is that I now no longer feel like a black sheep! I now realize that there are plenty of us out there that all have the same experiences and that makes me feel so much better. Thanks again!

Featured Answers

M., I also went thru this, my 1 st son pretty much required it for sleep, and my 2nd it was actually recommended by his GI dr because of his SEVERE reflux.... I cant tell you that it is the right thing to do, but I can tell you that you should do what feels right for you family. And I can give you a little advice on reducing the risk of SIDS. if she is going to be on her belly she needs to NOT have a blanket and NOTHING in the crib....just her and the crib sheet. Dress her in warmer clothes if you are worried about her being cold. And they also say that the use of a pacifier reduces the risk...so you might think about that as well. But seriously the crib needs to be empty.
Good luck

2 moms found this helpful

I had the same thing happen with my daughter. The first several nights we were home, I had a csection so I slept in the recliner and she slept on my chest on her tummy. When things went back to normal She would not sleep no more than a few minutes at a time. I went almost 2 months with no sleep. I also have a son 4 years older, so finally one night I for whatever reason laid her on tummy out she was... I stayed up all night that night watching her( although when I had my son he slept on his belly & that was normal then & ok) She did fine, by the next night I was so tired I was out right along with her. She never had a problem sleeping again. I kept her basinet right next to my bed so I could roll over and feel her breath and then when she went into a crib I did the same. I would never think anyone was a bad parent for letting their baby sleep on their tummy. My personal opinion on that subject is the that the it is the opinion of the researchers who do these studies. They now say that it is a chemical imbalance that causes SIDS. I would lay her on her belly, watch her closly through the nights and get some sleep...Hope this helps.

2 moms found this helpful

Maybe you can try one of those wedges that have two wedges connected with a small piece of fabric that velcros to the underside of the wedges - so that you can position the wedges for the most comfort - and it holds the baby on their side. They also have a wedge that you can put under the fitted sheet, so that when the baby is on their back, they are ever so slightly elevated -the wedges worked for my daughter when she was in the basinett, and the big wedge in her crib. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Hello M.,

I got three kids 15 mos, almost 3 and an 8yr old. They all slept better on their stomachs. With my first child I forced him to sleep on his side and back for the first six months and my husband and I were a wreck from lack of sleep and I was still working with my first. It wasn't until he was about eight months old that I stopped fighting against it and just let him sleep on his stomach( he began sleeping through the night). Five years later I had our second and I fought her from not sleeping on her stomach but I learn a lot sooner just to let her be and sleep came much easier for us all. Then, with our third the first night we were home she cried and couldn't get comfortable until I laid her on her stomach..... I know, I know, THEY SAY "you shouldn't do this with a baby and you shouldn't do that with your baby, but I say follow your mommy sense and do what's best for you and your baby. My husband and I have a saying, "Whatever works best for your address." That could be allowing your baby to sleep in the bed with you until he or she is five, breastfeeding until three, potty training at four, whatever it may be just as long as your child(ren) is happy, healthy and thriving.

I hope this helps!

2 moms found this helpful

You are not alone! When my 1st was born it was never put them to sleep on their back and he was just fine. With both my second and my third I had the same issue you are having. After nights without sleep I tried the stomach and they slept for 4 whole hours. I did make sure that I checked on them often.
I agree with the information below. I went to college for Child Development and they really don't know what causes SIDS but many countries have a much lower rate and they don't change their babies sleeping possition.
Sometimes being a sane and alert mom outways the stress for both you and baby.
Doctor's will give you lots of advice that you will find works or doesn't work. Figure out what works best for you. You will know your baby better than anyone else out there.

2 moms found this helpful

M., I also went thru this, my 1 st son pretty much required it for sleep, and my 2nd it was actually recommended by his GI dr because of his SEVERE reflux.... I cant tell you that it is the right thing to do, but I can tell you that you should do what feels right for you family. And I can give you a little advice on reducing the risk of SIDS. if she is going to be on her belly she needs to NOT have a blanket and NOTHING in the crib....just her and the crib sheet. Dress her in warmer clothes if you are worried about her being cold. And they also say that the use of a pacifier reduces the risk...so you might think about that as well. But seriously the crib needs to be empty.
Good luck

2 moms found this helpful

my daughtesr are 8 and 10 and would NEVER sleep on their backs. i just made sure i didnt put ANYTHING else in the crib, and stayed clse by her for several weeks, after she could lift her head, i relaxed a little.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi M.,
I to was paranoid of SIDS. My son (now almost 4)was also a belly sleeper. Still is. There is so many opinions about what positions correct. I just made sure he was on a flat firm crib mattress and nothing in his crib with him he could put his face in. It is important for you and your daughter to rest. Hope this is somewhat comforting. Good Luck
J.

2 moms found this helpful

M.,
My boys are almost 4 and 6 now. I remember the worrying, the checking every five minutes, the lack of sleep. I empathize with you and the back-sleep issue. Neither of my boys would sleep more than 1/2 hour on their back unless they were sleeping literally on top of me or my husband. We used the pillow back positioners that held them in place and made them feel more like they were being held. That did help, but not for very long. Then they would sleep up to 3 hours. After they were several months old and rolled over on their own, they would roll onto their stomachs anyway. The 'back positioners' then became a smothering hazard on their own. So we had to stop using them.
I wish I could tell you YES you must or NO you can't. Unfortunately, as you will learn, there is little about being a parent that is really that black and white. There are risks in everything including allowing the baby to sleep on her belly. That being said, there are a lot of risks involved in being a parent that gets no sleep and is constantly frustrated and upset because things aren't working 'by the book.' You just have to learn, and believe, the mantra "I am doing the absolute best I can for myself and for this baby."
Your mommy instinct will tell you what works and what doesn't. No two babies are the same, so you just have to find out what works best for yours.
I wish you luck and lots of love from your wonderful new daughter!

2 moms found this helpful

Both my girls were the exact same way from birth!! They are now 3 yrs old and 16 mos old...they still sleep on their tummies:) How strong is her neck? That is where the SIDS worry comes in. It is feared that they would not be strong enought to lift there head if they were face down. My girls had strong necks. They came out of the womb trying to lift their heads....not joking. My pediatrician said it was ok because their necks were so strong. He said it really was not a worry for me, him, or them. I have heard this from a lot of people, that their babies sleep best on their tummies.

When I was out and about the girls would sleep on their tummies in the strollers. Yes, lots of people would comment about how bad that was. I would smile and simply say thanks for the advice! You will run into lots of people that don't agree with your parenting, but as long as you believe you are right that is all that matters:)

Good luck to you and your precious little girl!

2 moms found this helpful

Hi M.! Put your daughter on her tummy! I went through the same thing with my youngest son, talked to my DR and her said 'PUT HIM ON HIS TUMMY!' It is the only way he would sleep. My DR said not to worry about SIDS, if it is going to happen it will happen. Sounds harsh but he explained that there are cases of SIDS on tummy and back sleepers. Before they started doing all the research parents just put their babies to sleep how ever they would sleep. DON"T feel bad or guilty about it, I did at first too but after a couple nights of sleep i got over it! My son is now 5 and sleeps on his back..go figure! And as a tummy sleeper myself, well I understand the babies, there is NO way I could fall asleep on my back...unfortunatly they can't tell us this..they just wake up and cry!
Let both of you rest peacefully and let her sleep tummy style!
Good luck with everything!

2 moms found this helpful

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