Being Deprived... TMI

So you want him to do what he doesn't want to do? If you didn't want to do him and he insisted, how would you feel?

My husband is not a fan of doing this wither. It use to bother me, but after 10 years of marriage, I've gotten over it. There are plenty of other things he likes that I enjoy, so I guess this is one you'll just have to let go and enjoy the rest.

I dont understand how oral sex can be "awful" unless hes nibbling it off or something.

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander, so you shouldnt give oral sex unless hes willing to (if thats what you desire) YOu know how you like to be touched and licked, tell him...guide him, and give specifics.

......and some men like to be sat on, lol

Here is the issue, if he just doesn't like it then it becomes a turn off to him. Do you see the conflict in that? He told you early on, you ignored it, if it was a deal breaker you should have said something before you had kids.

My suggestion is suck it up, you married him knowing it wasn't his thing. Do you want him to fake it?

me thinks perhaps a different forum would be more appropriate.......

Oh if we could only just sit on their faces in every situation. LOL. Seriously, though, if that's the worst of the problems, I would try talking to him before you get too frustrated. I do understand the feeling of only wanting the thing that you dont have though. I think that's sort of part of the psychology of human nature. Good Luck.

So if you insist, he won't do it? Gotta disagree with people below. I think you just need to insist. If he wants to receive, I guess he's gotta give, right?

He sounds... lazy.
You are doing all the work.
He is a quickie, huh?
Over in 1 second.
Now how is he, satisfying you otherwise, if he just wants you on top and then he falls asleep, after he gets his "O"?

Again, he sounds, lazy.
A couch potato.

Here is my take on it. I extremely dislike giving oral and when hubby asks it is the biggest turn off! I will do it occasionally but he knew what he was getting just like you knew. It is what it is and I do to think you pressing the matter is going to help. Find other ways of foreplay

I would suggest that you bring out the toys and use them together.

no you are not being unreasonable.

talk him through what you like and guide him...some men take it well others not...but this is something you WANT...he should work a little better at listening to your needs and wants....

walk him through it...tell him when he's doing it right...I had to do this with my husband as his ex liked it a certain way...didn't work for me...luckily for me - my husband loves to please me so walking him through it was good.

Ok, he said he had never performed oral sex, not that he would NEVER perform oral sex with his WIFE. I'm sure you are doing a lot of things that you did before marriage: taking care of kids, changing diapers, not sleeping through the night. Maybe he feels insecure about his performance because he is so inexperienced. As mentioned, shower togther and make it fun for both of you. Tell him you need more foreplay and to stop being so selfish and lazy.

That is hilarious. I would sit him down, have some wine, and tell him that it is VERY important to you that he does it. Get him all sexual and flirt with him. Tell him that you reeeeeally want to feel him between your legs....tell him that you are craving him 'down there'....just talk dirty! :o) Tease him.....I love teasing and messing with my husband. It is like I turn into someone else when we do it. I love, love role playing with him. Play a stripper and dance for him then, as you say, "sit on his face". :o) Good luck!

I was sorta in your shoes recently and tried to have a very nice "talk" about it and it sooooo backfired. I think hubs was butt hurt and it turned into a 1 hour conversation so obviously he took it all wrong he probably heard "your the worst lover in the world" when I didn't even come close to saying that. All I was trying to say was it would be nice if the give and take was a little more even. Just what you are trying to say. So....with that being said I should have shut up and just told him we are going to play a sexy game tonight and basically and unfortunately we have to tell our man play by play what to do. So I would start off with pretend I'm the sexy librarian and come over to me and tear off my clothes and then start kissing me up at my neck and then make your way down....etc
As for the "how to" part of it...I showed my husband on him how the tongue action should be by acting it out on his "rooster" for lack of a better word LOL and when he tried it on me I just let him know, yes that's the spot or a lil more up or down etc again unfortunately some men need to be guided or given a road map/GPS or something : )

There are several good books out there that are educational, tastefully illustrated, and fun to read! My suggestion would be that u read them together and "explore". The only way the situation is going to get better is to openly and lovingly (ie no degrading) communicate. Favorites include "The Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex" , "She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman"
Hope it helps and have fun (both of u!) embracing a new area in your marriage!

Google how to do it really well. I read an article about "how to go down on a woman" and it was amazing and dead on. Print it out and give it to him, then offer to let him practice.

No, you are not being unreasonable!! Why not get a night where you are alone with the kids somewhere else... take a shower together - maybe have him shave you (like only the lower lips, not bald!) as part of foreplay and you shave him (nothing nicer than a smooth shaft and balls!)... move on to the bedroom where he ravishes your clitoris and vagina LOL Tell him what you want, direct him to the right places, tell him if you want more tongue or more suction or fingers... DIRECT HIM to what you want.

If after ensuring you are clean, shaved (not completely) and aroused - he still won't do it or does it half a**ed... then you need to tell him he's no longer getting any oral from you either. Sex as well as marriage is a give and take equally of two people. He can't do that, he doesn't deserve any either!!

Well I have only been with a few men, and none of them had any talent in that area, including my husband, though God knows he gave it the old college try!
I suggest toys, preferably the kind that take AA batteries :)

I don't think you are being unreasonable. There has got to be a way to convince him that oral sex- giving and receiving- is a must in a healthly sexual relationship. I mean really, if it breaks down in the bedroom it is likely to overflow into other parts of your relationship.

I'm sending you luck and I hope you get some good head soon!

When you say that he wants you to get on top and then he falls asleep, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
Are you saying that he wants you to have sex with him while he sleeps through it?

About the oral sex. I wouldn't force him.

I could not have enjoyable sex w/o foreplay. I feel so sad for you!!

All I can think of, is to maybe get little toys, like this one or something.
http://ww2.pureromance.com/PUBLICSTORE/product/Double-Tro...

Also, guide him, show him how... make him read a men's health article on it or something.

Is it that he doesn't WANT to or he doesn't know how? Two different things. There are lots of things we do that we don't love doing but we do them anyway, right? I don't see why if this is something you want, you can't have it once in a while. Maybe he's just not confident that he's doing it right? Honestly, I've never really liked it and never ask my husband to do it but he does it once in a while anyway - whatever. If he loves you, I feel like he should want to please you. See if you can find out what the issue is exactly. I feel like he may not want to because he has no idea how to do it.

maybe if he doesnt want to go down on you, he'd be ok with being the one to use the vibrator on you? I'm lucky that my husband likes to do it, but maybe yours would be open to the idea of sex toys if it wasn't you off doing it alone?

You are not being unreasonable. I could not be with a man who won't give me oral sex. Nope.

Dan Savage, sex advice columnist, says that as sex partners we need to be the three G's - Giving, Good, and Game. Just because he didn't do this before doesn't mean he shouldn't be game to working on getting better at what you like. If he wants to be your only sex partner, he needs to buck up and meet your needs. And, you need to give him exact instruction. Communication between partners is more important than skill, skills can be learned, but only if the two of you can talk about what works and what doesn't.

Some people like it and some don't. You knew he didn't like too so you shouldn't press it. I'm sure he only did it a few times to make you happy, but it just isn't for him. For some it all boils down to the cleanliness of it all. My husband knows that I won't and I don't expect him too although he wants to on me; I don't require it. Go buy a kama sutra book and toys; enjoy different kinds of foreplay.