Being Able to Put Baby down Without Crying or Fussing

I thought I was going crazy when I first had my son. I could not believe how difficult it was to get him to sleep! He is 15 months now and sleeps about 10 hours a night. He still wakes up once or twice for his bottle, but since we keep him in bed with us we can just reach over for his bottle on the night stand.
I REALLY don't like the idea of letting a baby "cry him/herself to sleep". I know several families who have done that and it seemed to work for them. But I felt very strongly from the beginning that I would not do that. Ty, my son, stays with grandma during the day and she lays on the bed and sings to him until he goes to sleep. She also leaves an air filter on for background noise so he doesn't hear their voices and wake up. I usually lay with him in the bed in a VERY dark room with the air filter going and just let him toss and turn for a while until he goes to sleep. Other nights, I stroll him around the house in his stroller with all the lights out (the darkness is key) until he goes to sleep. Once he is asleep, I wait a few minutes and then transfer him gently in to the bed. Some parents may think this is starting him on bad behaviors that will be difficult to break later, but I completely disagree. It is all about how you handle the situation. Creativity is so important with kids and helping them adjust to new things. Once he is old enough to communicate with me, I will start having him sleep in his own bed. I will likely go to his room with him, read a book, and lay with him until he goes to sleep. Then we can transition to having him go to bed on his own as he gets older. But if you make the transition fun, it makes it so much easier for kids. ... But to make a long story short, I recommend strolling her around in a very very dark part of the house. Good luck! I know how difficult it is!

Tracey,

My now 20 month old son was like that until I did an elimination diet. Turns out he is intolerant to dairy and allergic to soy and he was getting those proteins through my breastmilk. Once I got those out of my system and his, he was a whole new, happy baby. The intolerances had inflamed his GI tract and he was in pain so he wanted to be held all the time. He also had silent reflux (which is reflux minus all the spitting up - it would go into his esophogas but not out of his mouth) which improved dramatically with my diet change and medication (Prevacid) for him.

In my opinion, if the baby wants to be held constantly and isn't sleeping well, she's probably in pain and it is probably diet related. I looked at this list
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/8/t083301.asp of the most common problem foods and I looked at my diet and decided what I thought were the most likely problems. I eliminated dairy, soy, eggs, chocolate, caffeine, fish, shellfish, nuts, citrus and tomatoes. My son was SO much more comfortable within about a week and by the end of the first month, he was a different child. Then I started adding foods back one at a time and was able to add back everything but dairy and soy (which he still can't eat). If he wouldn't have improved, I would have added gluten and corn to my list next and gone from there. If you do an elimination diet and you don't see improvement within a week or so, you are either not effectively eliminating something from you diet (soy and dairy are hidden in many other foods) or you haven't hit upon everything bothering your baby and you need to expand your list. How do you maintain a diet like that? It really isn't that hard. I ate mainly "whole" foods. Meat, beans, potatoes, rice, veggies and fruit. If you want more info, email me directly ____@____.com

Good luck,
T.

Dear Tracey:

You sound like the best kind of grammy! I like the advice you're giving your daughter. Not only do I agree with you and parented that same way but my kids were BOTH like your daughter's first.

My husband still jokes that when he'd get home from work each day, I'd still be sitting in the same spot I'd been in when he'd left (at 4 a.m.!) in my pajamas, with the kids still nursing, and that I'd say, "Hurry, take them! I've been needing to go to the bathroom for HOURS!" Ha ha ha!

Even though he exaggerates a little bit, I know that if I were to go through it again, I'd WEAR my babies constantly. I'd still not put them down if they needed me but I would help myself out a little bit more by getting a good baby sling. See my friend's website for some tips: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/jaminacema/436617/

The other thing is one thing that I did right...I used to be pretty type A about my house but I put that on hold for my babies. I kept it really simple and took the pressure off myself. We spent most of our time playing and going to parks and walking and napping and reading stories...hmmm...we're still doing that! But do you know what? Before I knew it, my kids were big enough to help me straighten up and my house was clean again!

Best wishes,

M.
PS: By the way, it's not gas! If it is, then my son has had gas for 10 years! My daughter mellowed out pretty early but my son is still pretty intense.