10 answers

Behavior - Dallas,TX

Hi Moms ...........i have a 2 1/2 year old boy.....he is well behaved sometimes n then angry sometimes i wanted to know about the terrible 2s and when does it end. It would be very helpful if i knew what is normal behavior at this age . Thanks........................

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Each kid is a little different, but the Moms who said that 3 is worse are completely right. Ugh.

Here's what the American Academy of Pediatrics says about behavior at this age.
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...

We found that asking them what they need goes a LONG way in helping tame the beast when it emerges.

More Answers

He's normal.
No it does not end at 2 years old.
It can go on and on... even until adult hood, IF a child is not guided or taught on how to express themselves and communicate and how to "cope" with emotions and how they feel and during stresses or disappointments.

But yes, at this age, they can be moody and fussy.
At 3 years old too.
And so forth.

Just teach him the "names" for feelings ie: mad,sad,happy,frustrated,irritated,hungry,tired, angry, etc. That way, he can pinpoint how he is feeling and to articulate it....then tell you. That it is okay to tell you how he feels.

Then just teach him "how" to cope. If he is mad, its okay... but if he is hitting then redirect him to something better. Encouraging. Or to hit a pillow. That hitting people is not allowed etc.
They are just learning at this age. They will make mistakes. They will test limits. They will seek independence and protest at times. All developmental based and normal. But give him the "tools" to manage.... age appropriately. Meaning, don't expect him to react/handle something like how a 5 year old would. There is also the 'maturity' of the child too... so just guide him.

Usually a kid gets mad because they are frustrated. Or, they want to do something they have in their heads, but can't actually do yet. Or, they are told "no", or they want attention or need something even comforting.

I have found a good way to deflate an angry child, is to hug them, and then try and make them laugh! Distracting them.

All the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

Each kid is a little different, but the Moms who said that 3 is worse are completely right. Ugh.

Here's what the American Academy of Pediatrics says about behavior at this age.
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddle...

We found that asking them what they need goes a LONG way in helping tame the beast when it emerges.

Yes it's normal, just let him know that you understand that he is angry and let him have it out in a safe environment. After it passes then sit down with him and talk about it. The more you try to understand where the anger is coming from he will see that you care. But don't you lose it. Keep it simple.

Ahhh yes the terrible twos...I hate to tell you, but the 3s aren't much better. (In fact most of my friends have said they thought it couldn't get any worse then ta-da!) That is just a boy being a boy I guess! Good luck!

Hi there,

I read your post and just wanted to comment that you are awesome for reaching out to better understand your son's behavior and what to expect!! Although I am not a behavior specialist, I DO have an almost-2-yr-old boy myself and I'm also a pediatric occupational therapist so I kind of see your question from both perspectives. What I always try to tell myself when my son is acting "challenging" let's say, is that it IS normal and its actually for good reason. He is trying to figure out who he is and his position in the pack so-to-speak. It has occurred to him for the first time that he has his own will and ideas and knows how to express them! The trick is to keep in mind this bigger question he is really asking you through his challenging behavior...when he says "NO!" to something he normally eats or when he hits the dog and refuses to stop, what he is really saying to you is "Who is really the boss? What can I get away with? What will happen if...." It is like a big cause and effect experiment in a way.

So what do you do? As hard as it can be, extinguishing unwanted behaviors is best done with as little emotion as possible. He will model his emotional meter after yours. If you yell and give him a big reaction, that can be kind of exciting to him. If, on the other hand, you calmly say "We don't hit our doggie" and physically redirect him, or if you say "Oh, mommy doesn't understand you when you yell" then he is learning that acting that way doesn't really accomplish much (negative or positive). Then if he changes his behavior to something you want to encourage, like he picks up his toy instead of continuing to hit the dog, THAT'S when he gets a big positive reaction - hugs and kisses and praise. Is this making sense?

If you want to talk more about it please feel free to contact me! My email address is ____@____.com luck! Hope I've helped a little!

R.
Occupational Therapist
www.DynamicTherapy.net

Absolutely normal behavior for a 2 yr old. I have a 3 1/2 yr old and a 2 yr old. In my opinion, 3's are far more difficult than 2s. I posted an earlier post about my "yelling" so I am in deep with the terrible 2s and 3s.

The first question I would ask the parents is... what kind of behavior is being modeled for him. Does he witness anger? Children will learn what they live...
If he is just expressing normal toddler behavior... or is he mimicking the adults in his life?

A definition of anger is energy that wants to change something. What change is he needing?

Diet? Is he being given sugar and HFCS?

Yep its normal and the 3s are worse than the 2s. Whoever came up with the " terrible 2s" phrase hadn't had a 3 yr old yet.

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