Bedtime Troubles with 3 Year Old Boy

You mentioned 8:00 bedtime. Is that the time you start the routine or that he's actually in bed ready to fall asleep? I have a 3 year old daughter, and I've been finding that I need to get her to bed earlier than we have been, which is about 8-8:15 of actually falling asleep. We start it around 7:30-7:45 most nights. There was just a huge article in the St. Paul paper about kids not getting nearly enough sleep these days. Maybe he needs to be in bed earlier? I'm a firm believer in each child having a sleep window and if we as parents miss it, we are going to pay for it! Maybe a little earlier will help hit him when he's actually tired and ready to fall asleep. Good luck!

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I put a child safety thinging on the inside door knob. You know, the thingy that prevents the door from being opened? He finally realized that he was not going to get out once he was in bed. Of course, I would come in if he really had a problem (baby monitor was on) and ALWAYS opened the door after he was asleep.

M.,

The easiest solution is to lock the door with a baby lock or flip the door knob so the lock is on your side.

Good luck,
S.

i had the same problem with my daughter when she was at that age, nothing worked except if i laid on the floor next to her bed and rubbed her back, i know you've probably tried it but sometimes i had to lay there for 1/2 hour to 45 minutes. i know that sounds so tiring but that's what worked for me. then if she did well that night the next day she could get a special treat. hope that's helpful.

It sounds like you are doing a good job. What about either not going up as much - taking the game out of it. Letting him sit and be by himself and have to deal with being tired. Or the next day when he asks for a tv show or dessert say, or I'm so sorry that's for good boys who go to bed and stay in bed. You can try to go to bed tonight and then ask me again tomorrow. And then end with Good luck sweetie - love you!

I went through this with my now 4 year old daughter. What I realized though is that as long as I kept responding to her or even going upstairs, she continued her behavior. If you come upstairs and put him to bed, he is happy to be getting what he wants... YOU! As soon as we ignored our daughter it only took a few nights for her to stay in bed. She would talk and walk around for a while, and then lay down when she got no reaction. Good luck.

Hello M. J
I am a grandma of 5, 3 with oldest daughter 2 with second oldest. my second oldest daughter had trouble with her son at the age of 2-3, he also went into a big boys bed, and wouldnt stay in the bed either, so my daughter would put him in his bed, read him a book of his choice, kisses, hugs, tucked him in, turned off the light, there was a night light, (nothing wrong with a night light, they have to see at night to get up to go potty.then she would sit on the floor by the door so he could see her, till he fell asleep. You have to take the time yourself to do this. it only took him a few weeks till he didnt need her to sit there any more. i do think its ok to sit there, it will relax you and she would only sit for 5-10 minutes. whats 5-10 minutes of your time to let your child know that you are still there, and every one has to go to bed. children are so precious, and if sitting on the floor to secure a darkish night time for them to sleep. this should work.... if it takes longer than a couple of weeks, oh well, i think its worth it.. they just want to feel safe. you know you are safe at night, why not try this with your son.... Thank you.. give it a try... M.

Maybe put a gate up in his door way. Since the no communication with having to keep putting him back in his bed is not working (he knows that even though you are not talking to him, you are still going in there), put the gate up, this way when he goes to his door, he will not come out, and you don't have to worry about him coming out. I assume the lights are off, or you have a night light on, he will get board of waiting for you to come in, and he will end up putting himself back to bed.. I had to do this when my son was 1 1/2. He kept claiming out of his crib so I had to put him in a toddler bed and he would not stay in it for nothing. Good luck

That's funny you mentioned Supernanny, because that was the first thing I thought of when I read your story.
I think the only way to get through it is to continue to put him back in his bed, until eventually he will give up and stop trying to get out. That's what Supernanny says. I think it's the only way - even though it gets tiresome, I'm sure.

Everything sounds good that you are doing. We tried the super nanny thing too. Our daughter is very high energy too. So, we put a gate at the door so she can buzz around her room for ten minutes or so and then she chooses to lay in bed. And she likes being able to look over the gate and see where mommy and daddy went. We stay in the living room till she falls asleep. She only asks a couple of times where we are and then feels secure enough to hop in bed. Hope that helps.

Continue to be firm about his bedtime routine! I am curious to know what he does if you don't come up and put him back to bed. Tell him that he needs to learn to stay in his bed. Also, you could try positive reinforcement. Tell him that if he stays in bed for 3 nights in a row that he could earn a small reward. You will have to decide what that reward would be;maybe an extra book read to him or extra play time. Make sure that you praise him each time his does stay in bed! Hope that this helps.
Chris

Read him chapter books in bed instead of picture books: Charlotte's Web, Winnie the Pooh... others you remember and love from your childhood. Read quietly and peacefully - he will fall asleep before the chapter is out. If he says he doesn't want them, don't worry, he'll get used to them in time. Your voice is the best sleep aide in the world. A quiet, peaceful, long chapter will keep you interested in bed time and will put him soundly to sleep just when you want him to go down.

Your bedtime ritual sounds wonderful. Try making part of the ritual that you choose to return to his room deliberately - one more time. Choose to go back to his room to see how he's doing. Let him know you will be doing that. Set the stove timer or a reminder on your cell phone. Show him the device. Even let him help you do it. Then tell him you will be back to let him know you're around. You expect to find him in his bed. The interaction when you return should simply let him know you'e still around. One final good night. This is almost exactly what's been happening, but you're a little more in charge.
Each day or so, set the timer one minute longer. Eventually, he'll be asleep when you return.

Perhaps then you can do your stair climbing when you want to! Not at the end of an already long day.

My 3 yr old son likes the door to be opened just a pinch, so a little light and reassuring sounds come in. He peaks out, and runs back to bed, but doesn't come out, so we let him be!

I tell my son that when he cries and leaves the bed he makes his animals scared and then I console them! I think he finds it funny, but he also sort of believes me because we read the Velveteen Rabbit (moral being that if you love something, it's real). Just a little idea to try if he's really driving you crazy some night.