Bedtime Routine - Abilene,TX

Hi K.,
First of all congratulations on the baby! We have 3 kids (twin boys that are 2 & a baby that is 8 months). For all of them we have read a wonderful book called Happy Baby Healthy Sleep Habits by Dr Weissbluth. It will take you through every stage of sleep and also sleep problems with solutions. It has wonderful recommendations on what to do for different scenarios. Including the one you are taking about now.
Good Luck!
Debra

Actually, you can try now to put her down drowsy. It may not work at first, but by adding that step to your routine now she will start learning. If she starts crying, give it a couple of minutes, then go ahead and pick her up . . . she's too young yet to let her cry it out. Then try again the next night. You are doing the right thing by setting a routine now . . .

Congratulations. What a sweet and wonderful time you are in right now. Please soak it up and enjoy every second, because it flies by like lightning. I know----my oldest child is 24 now and it seems like just yesterday he was a newborn.

Please go to www.babywhisperer.com I didn't have their great advice with my little ones, but wish I would have. Their advice is sane and compassionate and realistic.

Again, best wishes at the beginning of this wonderful adventure of parenthood! God bless your new family.

I used to do the same thing with my baby(first one as well) At about 4 months i started putting her in her bassinet and she went to sleep most times on her own. She is one now and she still likes to be rocked sometimes but as long as she has her sippy cup she will go to sleep. I didnt use her crib until she was about 9 months and i probably should have earlier.

I also worked fulltime until we moved to Dallas one year ago. I, too, consciously and intentionally broke all the rules and rocked my daughter to sleep every night that I was home, until she was too big for us to fit comfortably in the rocking chair! We had progressed from nursing to reading bedtime stories, so simply moved the bedtime story reading to her bed where we snuggled until she drifted off. She is 6 now, and in school all day with the hours before bedtime now filled with ballet, gymnastics, homework, and playing outside. She and I still both treasure our snuggle time at the end of the day. Some nights I give her a kiss before she falls asleep and tell her that I'm going to spend time with Daddy, and she's fine. Most nights she so tired that we finish our story, say our prayers, and she's out like a light. So I guess I'm STILL breaking the rules....but I know that all too soon she'll not be wanting bedtime stories, so I'm going to savor our snuggle time for as long as she'll let me! (PS - our mother - daughter bedtime routine was so special that my husband even wrote one of his "Lullabies For Dads" about the nights HE got to rock her when I was out at a work event...called "Papa's Gonna Put You To Sleep Tonight")

Hi K.,

Congratulations on your new baby girl! What a fun and wonderful adventure you and your husband have just begun. I've read some of your other advice given and it is quite varied so you might be more confused about what to do after reading them than before. ha But I also am a first time mom - of a soon to be 1 year old baby girl. I have one of those babies that people are always stopping me in the store to tell me - wow, she is so happy and so alert to everthing. And I promise you the only reason that is true is because she gets the amount of sleep she needs each night and day. The most important thing you can give Maddy for her health and ability to grow and learn - next to breast milk - is good sleeping habits. I think so many moms confuse what they need with what the baby actually needs. We rock babies because it feels so absolutely wonderful to us to hold someone so close that we've just fallen in love with in ways we never dreamed possible. But truthfully what your baby needs is sleep. By all means rock Maddie throughout the day - hold her every chance you get. Don't leave her in swings to do the job or in car seats - cuddle her whenever possible. And then when it comes time for bed at night - you won't have such a need to get your cuddles in at that time.

Unlike, some of your other advice, I'm a big believer in establishing bedtime routines very early. All babies have the ability and the need to sleep from 7 to 8 hours each night by the time they are 7 to 9 weeks old. But they are not born with this innate ability, it's the first thing we teach our child. The most important part of the teaching process is avoiding associating anything with sleep that you don't plan to continue throughout their childhood. And babies do make connections very, very quickly - even at 5 weeks old. Just think they're little brains are growing and developing faster now than any other time in their lives. So it's important to not connect rocking a baby with going to sleep. Your routine sounds great already except for the rocking portion. My routine with my baby girl started when she was 3 weeks old and included, bath time, lotion massage and then nurseing her. I would lay her down right after that and she would fall asleep very quickly and even now still does. When she was about 7 months old, I began to nurse her before the bath time so as to help prepare for weaning her at 1 year. I didn't want her to feel she had to have the breast to fall asleep. And now our routine is milk, bath, lotion massage, storytime and then kisses and straight to bed. She sleeps 12 hours every night and falls asleep within minutes of me turning out the lights and closing her door. She is very secure in her mommy's love and knows exactly what to expect - and most importantly is healthy and happy because she is getting the needed sleep she needs each night.

I wish you the best of luck with Maddie and know that you have many wonderful years ahead of you.

Blessings,
D.

Congrats! What a true blessing you have.

I have four children and I have learned that the earlier you start putting your baby down while they are sleepy but not yet asleep the better. You are teaching your child a valuable gift-how to put themselves to sleep. You have the right instincts. Follow them. The longer you wait to teach them this the harder it is for them to learn. That is why some children and parents have to do the cry it out method until they sleep. The child can then end up crying for hours because they didn't learn this skill when it was easier to learn.

That being said, there are some children that for whatever reason need more reassurance at night. One of my sons was this way. It definitly took us longer to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. It does not sound like your child is this way at all. I think if you started today putting her down sleepy you would see that she learns how to put herself to sleep quite quickly.

Good luck. Enjoy every moment. It is a true blessing.

First of all Congrats on the new addition. I would suggest around 3 months to put to bed awake. At this age they should start to sleep through the night. I did this with both my kids and it worked like a charm. Don't rush anything or you might feel like you are missing something.

all of the books will tell you something different...so will each of us mamas...
do what feels best to you! if you don't mind still rocking your baby to sleep in a year, who cares? you will find that each of your children goes to sleep differently...and in ten years you'll look back and wish you could rock her again :o)

Congratulations on your new baby!

Around 4 months old my son (now 8 months old) started fighting me when it was time to rock him. I knew it was time for sleep training. I really like the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It really helped me understand what to do and when. The most important thing is to have a plan and have the support of your husband, because sleep triaing is very difficult for mommies. GOOD LUCK!

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

I am a first time mom too and my little guy is 8mos old. My pediatrician didn't tell me to put him to bed slightly awake until 4 mos. Even then it was a challenge. I would put him to bed slightly awake and let him cry for just a few minutes then go back in and rock him. It wasn't until 6 mos on the dot was he able to do it. There still are some times though I must admit that he wants to be rocked.

sounds like you are already doing such a good job. But it does sound like you want your baby to know that there will be times you will just lay her down and walk out. Maybe you can make it "special day" thing. Like choose a day of the week you want to do the full routine. Then as your baby grows and knows what is going on, she will love special day. Or whatever name you want to call it. The good way I found was simply just doing it. Laying her down, turing out the lights and walk away. Some days they may cry and some days they may just fall right to sleep. Its good for your baby to have alone time in the crib too. Meaning, placing her in there when she is just drowsy and not fully asleep. So that way they learn to ease themselves to sleep. there are some mothers that will have a rotuine every night and for years. I think this will soon turn sour on them. because this trains your child that they MUST have mommy there every night or they will not sleep. So this becomes hard if you have a night out or a event or work late or want to be with your husband for loving time. Your child will habit themselves that they will refuse to sleep with out there ritual.
Good luck~!

They will let you know when it's time to stop rocking them to sleep. I think the last time I rocked mine to sleep she was 12. Enjoy it, don't take it for granted. I wish I could still rock mine to sleep at night, but they won't let me in the dorm at the college.

K.,

I am a mom to three and a grandma to two, so I've been around the block a few times! My advice to you is to trust your instincts. Before very long, Maddy will begin to express her independence. She won't want to be held unless necessary. You will be surprised at how hard that is for you! So for now, rock her and enjoy that routine. I will tell you what others probably have - you cannot spoil her by holding and rocking her.

Best wishes to you!

Hi K.. I have two daughteres - 4 and 1. I did exactly what you're doing with both of them, and did it until they naturally were still awake after nursing, which was after several months. At that point, I put them in their cribs drousy. I did put them down awake at naps from early on. Both of them were great sleepers with this plan and if they fussed at all when going to sleep, it was very minimal. I know it depends a lot on the child, and no one thing works for everyone, but those bedtimes are so precious...I always used naps for sleep training like that, and it seemed to take care of itself. There is such a short time they will cuddle in and nurse and rock - I would enjoy it!

Congratulations, this time you have right now is so special so enjoy it. I used Babywise with both of mine and they are great sleepers and eaters. It gives step by step instructions. I didn't start until after 5 weeks and it worked great. Both of mine used a prop, thumb & paci but they are the best nappers. I will be able to take the paci away but the thumb is a little harder. Anyway, good luck and enjoy.

Soundslike you are doing great as a first timer and your baby is well. I would say rock her for a minute and start putting her in her bed NOW. I have a two year old that expects us to lay down with him till hes asleep. I would love for him to put himself down. We are working with him but it is difficult. Good Luck, enjoy the first few months they fly by!!

I had the same concerns with my daughter. You have a bedtime routine that works for you... don't change it up just yet. We started re-training sleep habits around 6-7 months by starting out with nap time. Once she went down for nap times still awake and figured out how to go to sleep on her own, we started doing it at night as well. We also had the concern of when to stop giving a bottle right before bed (as that was our 'que' for night time). The doctor recommended to do bottle(nursing) before bath once her teeth started coming in so that we could brush her teeth too and then calm down by rocking, singing, reading, etc. Works like a charm. She knows the routine and never complains (she's just now 1).

K.,

I agree with Michelle with regards to her sleep training method. I started with my son at four months old, and used the "baby wise" method(very similar to Michelle's book). It is important for them to be able to self sooth, and they start to be aware of the fact that if they cry, you will come, at around the four month mark. My husband and I had about a week of hell doing this, but the results were AMAZING!!! We were able to put him in his bed wide awake, and he would fall asleep on his own. We did this gradually, and with a lot of thought and preparation. It is important not to let your little one cry his eyes out, but again, to do this gradually increasing the time in which you respond. I recommend this book, and method highly...

J.

Every kiddo is differnet but, in my opinion, I wouldn't even stress yourself out about that for at least 3 months. I don't agree when people that say you are starting "a pattern" with a baby that young...she has only been out of your belly (where she was being held and rocked 24 hours a day!) for 5 weeks and is WAY to little to start sleep training just yet. Personally, I believe that you will just know when it is right for you (and her)to begin sleep training. My first baby was never a good sleeper and required a lot of maintenance to get her down/ keep her asleep for a good portion of the first year but then, all of a sudden she completely took to her bedtime and started wanting to go to bed and sleeping for 12 hours every night! Just trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right to you don't do it.

Hey there K.. I started putting my daughter down awake (drowsy)after a feeding when she was about 4-5weeks, but it was the middle of the night feed. So she would eat, get swaddled and I would walk her back to the bedroom where she would get put back in her bassinet next to my bed. We never had a problem with her putting herself to sleep. Now nap time she may fuss a little, especially now that she is crawling, because she does not want to go to sleep. That only lasts a few minutes. Bed time has always been super easy for us. We didn't start a real bedtime routine until about 4 or 5 months where we give her a bath, eat, and then go to sleep. But, I believe because I started putting her down drowsy so early, we have never had a problem with going to bed at night. She doesn't fuss at bedtime, she grabs her snuggly and binki and closes her eyes. We have been very blessed. I hope this helps you.

A.

My advice is going to be very simple. I have 6 children, 12 years down to 5 months, and I will tell you they grow up very fast. Enjoy rocking your bundle of love for as long as she will let you. Before you know it she won't want to be rocked and you will wish that you could get this precious time back. Cuddling and rocking is calming for you and her. Eventually on her own she will give you signs that she would rather be laid down instead of rocked when tired.

I also loved rocking my baby to sleep! For the first year of my son's life, I worked full time. Everything I read told me I should put him to bed on his own, but I cherished that time with him each night! When he turned a year, I left my job to stay at home. It was only then that I started putting him to bed on his own. I think it's whenever you feel you are ready! If you want to start now, then each night rock her just a few minutes less before laying her down. You can try standing by her crib and rubbing her stomach for just a minute. But I honestly think it's not going to hurt her. I rocked my son to sleep for a year, and now he goes straight to his room when we tell him it's bedtime. He falls asleep on his own just fine. Enjoy this time, because it really does go by fast!

Hi K..
You are a new mom so you are very vulnerable to everyone giving good advice, and it all sounds so smart, and then you might get confused. That's how it happened for me, anyway.

First of all, "babywise" is best introduced at a newborn stage. If you aren't using it now and don't intend to use it very soon, I would not recommend trying to begin using it as a sleeping technique. It does work, but people who have the most success with it begin using it at age 3-4 days or at the latest 5 weeks. You CAN have success starting later, but it is much more difficult. My opinion only.

And, to answer your question briefly, I would say that 3-4 months is a good time to start putting her down drowsy. But, if you like rocking her, do it as long as you like. They are your babies for such a short while.

Hey -
I agree with the mom who says you have it all down except for the rocking. When my son was born, I did everything you are doing, but I put him to bed right after he finished nursing. Unfortunately for me, I got caught up in the moment and started holding him for a little while after nursing and he fell asleep in my arms. I didn't want this to become a habit and so I put him to bed awake the next night. It was AWFUL. He cried and cried. I did that method where you go back in every few minutes and encourage them that you have not left (but you don't touch them). Anyway, he cried for 45 minutes and it was a nightmare. The next night, I put him down awake and he whimpered for about 10 minutes and went to sleep. Ever since then, he has gone to sleep like a dream. I think my mistake was letting him fall asleep in my arms for a while.

However, I am a proponent of giving the baby whatever attention they need for the first 3-4 months. Even though you can establish a routine, if they cry - they need you. After 3/4 months is when you have to get serious about helping them help themselves.

I was super lucky with my daughter because she really wants no cuddling in the evenings. I tried to hold her for a few minutes at the end of the evening and she thrashes around. She wants to GO TO BED. She's 11 months now and is sleeping about 11 hours straight every night. It's total heaven.

-L.

It seems like our doctor started preparing us for this around 9 months or so, but I can't remember. (Our daughter is 14 months now). I can tell you this -- I'm probably not one to ask, because even now that she's 14 months old, I still treasure that quiet time at night with her, rocking her to sleep. I actually told the doctor and my husband that I wouldn't do it. :) The way I see it, she's only this little once. Strangely enough (and this might not be typical) if/when we do need to put her down without rocking, she does just fine.

Congratulations!!! I am a first time mommy too but my little darling is now 16 months old. Can't believe how fast the time goes. Enjoy every minute you have with her now. When she's older she may not even want you to rock her to sleep. I nursed until my daughter was a year old and so every night we would nurse and rock to get her to go to sleep. Probably around 7 months old there were times where she started to not fall asleep while nursing and rocking so we would finish and I would lay her down drowsy then. She sleeps like a champ now, but does not want me to rock her at all. She goes to be every night at 8, gives everyone kisses and walks into her room and waits for mommy to lift her up into her crib. Don't rush this time at all because it will be gone before you know it. Just enjoy it the moment.

Wow! You are doing this early. Most babies don't know how to "soothe" themselves until about 3-4 months so I think that is the time when to establish the serious bedtime stuff. My baby sleeps with me so I'll probably have to deal with this the hard way later on.
There is a really good book to read by Dr. Weissbluth which addresses sleep.

Good luck!