Bedtime and Morning Wake-up

Updated on August 05, 2010
A.F. asks from Bellmore, NY
12 answers

My sixteen month old is very inconsistent in her wake-up times. I usually put her to bed between 8:00-8:30 because she wants to go to bed. She pops her pacifier in her mouth and starts to put her head down on my lap or her favorite bunny.

Sometimes if I am lucky, she will sleep until 6:00 or between 6:00-6:30. And other times she wakes up between 5:00-5:30. I try to bring her back to bed with me but all she does is roll around and who can go back to sleep like that?

My daughter is still napping quite a bit too. She will nap for about two hours in the morning and if we are home, will nap two hours in the afternoon. If we are out and she falls asleep in the car or store and doesn't sleep enough, she may be cranky for the rest of the day. I try not to allow her to nap too late in the day otherwise she may be up until 9:00 or later. People suggest putting her to bed later so she will get up later. Well she does not do that. Even if I put her to sleep at 9:00 (a second wind after a bath!) she will not sleep later in the morning. It is rare that she ever sleeps straight until 7:00.

Any suggestions about sleeping at night? I really don't want my daughter to stay up until 10 or 11:00 at night. I think children should go to bed by 8 or 9 so that moms' and dads' can have time together. Or even just to read a book before bed. Thank you!

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So What Happened?

After thinking about how my daughter usually behaves after two naps, I believe she is not ready to give up her second nap yet. And when she naps too late in the day and definitely not enough ( only an hour) Alyssa will have tantrums until she goes to bed for the night. Two naps is definitely what makes her happy right now. I need to get my mom to follow my nap schedule when she baby-sits her because Alyssa really needs her naps. Thanks again everyone!

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Seems like she is napping too much. I would cut back on her morning nap. Babies do usually give this one up but I can't remember when-its beens so long! I will say that my boys would never wake up later no matter how late I would put them to bed. They were early risers and I just had to adjust to it.

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L.Z.

answers from Boston on

I honestly think she is sleeping a great amount at night, and pretty normal for a 16-month old! My kids always went to bed around 7:30 at that age, and slept till 6 a.m. usually. During the school year, my kids have to be up around 6 to get ready for daycare, but there were days they could (and on weekends, would) sleep till 7 a.m. The norm at that age is to sleep anywhere from 10-12 hours at night, with at least one good 2-3 hour nap during the day.

My advice from here on in would be to read her signs, as all kids are different. If she is putting her head down around 8 p.m., she is exhausted. I would read the nighttime book to her in her room no later than 7:30, then put her to bed semi-awake, or drowsy. She should get used to going to bed before she is too tired to keep her head up. And if she consistently gets up at 5 or 5:30, you can try experimenting with a later bedtime, like 8 p.m. Again, all kids differ here, and some just are "morning people" and will be up early no matter what you do to alter their bedtime! She is surely hungry and wet and ready to get up by 7 a.m., so I'd say you're doing very well for hours slept if she lasts till 6:30 in her crib.

And by the way, I totally agree about some adult time at night. Since it's summer my kids have been going to bed later (they are now 3 and 5) and some nights it's 8:30, and I feel like I have not had any time to myself because by 9 I am wiped out myself! It's very important to be consistent with kids' bedtime as much as possible, for them AND for us!

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E.S.

answers from New York on

I think she is doing pretty well! Putting her down between 7 and 8 is perfect and when she wakes at 5 if you go in and pat her back quietly without turning on the light or picking her up she may go back to sleep. DO NOT bring her into bed with you. BAD HABIT!!

At her age she should be taking a long nap in the morning and a shorter one in the afternoon. That's great if she is doing it. You are definitely on the right track. You are absolutely right that babies need lots of sleep and early bedtime is best.

We have written a lot about sleep needs and tips at MamasOnCall.com. Check it out for specific suggestions and good luck!

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K.L.

answers from New York on

I would try to transition her to one nap a day around noon. My two year olds go to bed between 7:30-8:15 and they generally want to sleep about 12 hours at night with one nap in the middle of the day. Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

Dear A.,

You are a wise and good momma for asking about this so important issue of sleep.

I am not an expert, but from what I know (Pantleys "No Cry Sleep Solution"), your LO is getting a nice total amount of sleep -- nite + naps. Thus, I would not be concerned about the 10 hours at nite, given she is getting 4 hours of naptime sleep.

I also agree with you about putting her down at 8-830. the later they go to bed, the less deeply and hence less quantity sleep they receive. I know it is the opposite of what we would think. (from Dr. Mark Weissbluths "Healthy Sleep, Happy CHild" or some such title)...

So...I would enjoy the 14 hours or so she sleeps. If she does awake at 530, and you want to change that, you can try making her morning and afternoon naps a bit earlier, and the afternoon nap a bit shorter....

HTH. Jilly

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

She might be overtired and going to bed too late. Try putting her to bed at 7. Sleep begets sleep. The earlier they go to bed, the later they will sleep. My son is 16 months too, and he goes to bed at 6:30 and sleeps until 6:30m with 2, 2 hour naps.

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M.I.

answers from New York on

Hi A.! I would suggest seeing what you can do to moving her to 1 nap a day around 12pm (after lunch). My 19th month old has been on a 1 nap schedule for a long time now (he's in daycare - so all the kids do the same thing)..and he'll usually nap for about 2 hours. He has always been a go-to-be-early guy (6:45pm, in bed, was the norm for a long time) and up around 6:30am/7am.
I've read a ton of research that says in order to get your babe to sleep later you put them to bed EARLIER (not later). Gives them different sleep cycles. At your LO's age, she should be getting about 10-12 hours of night sleep and around a 2 hour nap during the day. I've also read that the best times for babies/toddlers to go to sleep is anywhere between 6pm-8pm depending on their age and disposition. Any later then that and you're looking at overtiredness and extra winds that they don't need to have.
I would suggest you start her bedtime routine around 6:45pm and aim to have her in bed eyes closing no later than 7:30pm (and a short bath in, if it's not part of the nighttime routine, usually helps them relax).
Even if that going to bed earlier doesn't make her sleep in, you know she'll be getting more nighttime sleep which is where she can process all of the daily things she's learning and it will promote great health and growth (physical and mental).
I hope i'm not too blunt but she's way too young to be staying up so late.
And she'll still go through phases of not sleeping well from teething/sickness etc...so, the good, long nights of sleep you can get for her is what I would aim for.
Good luck!!
:-)

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M.B.

answers from New York on

Here was my experience - hope it helps.

All three of my kids moved to one nap when they were 14 months old. The transition took a month before everyone was regular and predictable again. Morning nap started at 11:30 after an 11:00 lunch. They usually slept for between 2 and 3 hours (after they got used to doing a longer nap). Then I put them down for the night between 6:30 and 7:00 since they were usually pretty shot by then. But you can adjust any schedule for your family and what works with your schedule.

Also I found that consistency with naptime was the biggest driver of consistency with nighttime sleeping. It is always hard with two naps to keep them both consistent - you end up never leaving the house! With one it is quite a bit easier because you can do something in the morning and something in the afternoon without disrupting.

I hope that helps - good luck!

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A.D.

answers from New York on

dear A., Try putting her to bed earlier! Not so easy in the summer when it stays light longer but she should be sleeping 10-12 hours at nght and will not need long naps. You can do this slowly, half hour at a time earlier. I have seen this suggestion on this site besides ny own experience. My best, Grandma Mary (mom of 5)

Updated

dear A., Try putting her to bed earlier! Not so easy in the summer when it stays light longer but she should be sleeping 10-12 hours at nght and will not need long naps. You can do this slowly, half hour at a time earlier. I have seen this suggestion on this site besides ny own experience. My best, Grandma Mary (mom of 5)

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Putting her to bed later at night is not the answer , she is only 16 months and needs a decent bedtime , it could be that she is getting too much sleep during the day , could you try and not let her have the AM nap and then bring the PM nap forward? So for example if she sleeps in the PM 2-4 then bring it forward to 12.30 and let her sleep until 2.30 or 3 , she then should be sleepy and ready for bed around 7.30. As for the waking early in the morning , that is pretty normal , my 2 yr old wakes around 6.30 , I know it is early but they do grow out of it , all 3 of my kids woke this early and as they got older they started to sleep later , my 7 and 4 yr old on non school days can sleep until 8.30 sometimes , even with going to bed at 8pm

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T.Q.

answers from Albany on

Hi There,
It seems like your daughter needs less sleep overall these days. It is rare for a 16 month old to still take 2 long naps... usually kids need just one at this point. You can't expect her to sleep 4 hours in the day and sleep more than 8 or 9 at night. Try cutting her to one mid-day nap. It is rough at first, but she will ajust, and probably go to bed more around 7:30 or 8:00. Try pushing her morning nap slowly later until it eventually happens right after lunch. Once it gets later in the morning toward afternoon, she will no longer need the afternoon nap at all. Then put her to bed by 8:00! Good Luck!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

We are a household of mostly night people so my 19 month old also has an 8 to 8:30 bedtime but she usually sleeps 12 hours and if she is really tired she will occasionally sleep in very late like 10:30. She takes one nap in the afternoon (we try for 1 or 1:30 but it can be later) for 2-3 hours. I think your daughter needs to switch to 1 nap (my kids both switched around 12 to 15 months). Make the morning nap later (go 30 minutes at a time if you need to). I admit when my children were babies I would not get them out of the crib before 6:30 or 7 (I just gave them a bottle in the crib). Some people may not like that idea but it worked for us.

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